Casper and Gerard have had feelings for each other for 2 years now, and neither of them has confessed to it yet.
It was a Saturday night and she was playing guitar and singing at a small night club. Me and the guys from the band had played before her every Saturday night and I had been staying after our gig to watch her play for the past month. She was amazing at guitar and could sing like an angel. I was crushing hard and fast. I knew I needed to talk to her, get her number, ask her out. But I was so nervous. When it comes to girls, I knew my way around, I know just how to catch a ladies eye. But when it came to Casper. Casper was different.
The song she was singing had ended and her act came to a stop. Everyone in the small barely lighten room was getting up to leave since all the gigs where over. Casper got up off the stool on the stage and started to pack her black, old school, six-string electric guitar in its case. She leant down to get a drink of water from the water bottle below the stool and started to move back some of the stuff on the stage. I was far in the back of the club sitting at a small table and trying to get the courage to go up there and talk to her. I finally started to get up and walk over to the stage. She was putting the stool back next to the drums. I had my hands in my pocket. She looked over her shoulder and noticed me standing at the end of the stage so she turned around and started walking to me. It was now or never.
"Erm-, hi." I said and cleared my throat. She hopped off the stage and stood right in front of me. She was about 5'5 and was an inch shorter then me. She had medium length black hair that had a bit of a natural curl to it. She had brown eyes that sparkled, even in the dim light. She was slim but on the curvy side and not too busty. She was wearing green converse, black skinny-jeans and a white and green button-up shirt. I noticed she had a few tattoos on her left wrist and hand. They said "Northern Downpour" at the top of her wrist, "Never stop believing" on the side, "Music is the only thing that can save me from myself" next to that and a little heart with an "M" inside it. It looked beautiful all put together, like a masterpiece on her skin. Her nails where painted black and she was wearing a guitar pick necklace.
"Hi." She said and crossed her arms. I started to think of what that "M" and heart on her wrist meant. Oh great, she probably has a boyfriend.
"I um, just wanted to say you did great tonight." Well at least I said something….
"Thank you." I wide smile spread across her face that seemed to make the whole room in a happier mood. It was me, her and a couple other random customers and employees. "You did really great too, and the other guys you where with." Her arms fell to her side and she talked freely with a smile and happy tone in her voice.
"Oh, yeah. You watched us tonight?" I scratched the back of my head without noticing.
"Yes. And last week and the week before that…." She looked down with small, shy smile on her face.
"Well, that's actually funny, because I stay late every night after our gig, to watch yours….." I swung my hands behind my back and looked down also.
"Really?" She perked up.
"Haha, yeah. For the past month now." Crap, I didn't want to say that much….. Her wide smile returned and she gazed into my eyes.
"Mhmm." I said looking back into hers. They where sincere, innocent eyes but still very fiery, cautious and strong. You could tell almost every emotion she was thinking just by looking into them.
"Oh well thank you." She said. Now I needed to make the next move. I needed to ask for her number or something. Maybe ask her out sometime. No no, it's too soon. Ask for her number, come on Gerard.
"So you want to maybe get a drink?" I nodded toward the bar on the other side of the club.
"Sure." We turned around and started walking. It wasn't asking for her number but I guess it worked too. We sat down on the bar stools and ordered a drink each. We talked and talked till the club was closing and they kicked us out. I asked her for her number and we hung out non-stop that month. I even found out what the "M" on her wrist was for her best friend named Melody.
My band needed another guitarist and singer and I eventually asked Casper if she'd like to play with us. She said yes and became apart of My Chemical Romance. She was there with us through the hardship of our first tour and she helped us make it out alive. She is an important part of the band and another awesome spark of creativity we needed. But ever since that night at the club when I finally got the courage to talk to her, I knew I was in love. Over the past 2 years even though I knew it damn well I didn't say anything about it to her. All the guys know I'm crazy about her. She maybe even knows but I haven't told her even though know I should. Maybe she likes me back but I'm too scared I'm going to get rejected.
I was very deep in thought when I started to hear a whimper, followed by a few sniffles. Someone was crying. I leaned my head on the wall in front of me. Mine and Casper's cot where right next to each other on the tour bus and I could here more of the whimpers coming through the wall. Casper was crying. I sat up as much as I could before the ceiling of the small cot started to hit my head. I slowly and quietly opened the curtain of the cot. I could hear Mikey, Frank, Ray and Bob snoring in they're cots on the other side of the small hallway in the middle of the bus. Good, no one was awake but me. And Casper.
I slowly crept up in front of the cot of Casper and heard the whimper and sniffles get louder as I leaned my head toward the curtain. I could also hear music playing really loudly from her iPod and it was the song we did not long ago called Cancer. She and I wrote the song since her dad died a few months ago from cancer. It was hard for her to sing it live on stage without bursting into tears and that's why sometimes we would just skip it. I knew why Casper was crying.
I slowly and carefully pulled open the curtain and looked inside. She was lying on her side with her back facing me. I heard more sniffles and whimpers. I reached my hand out and placed It on her shoulder. She turned over facing me. Her eyes where red and puffy and tears where streaming down them. They showed extreme pain and sorrow.
"Guh-, come in G-gerard." She sobbed. It killed me to see her like this. I climbed in the small cot and sat up against the wall. She sat up too and leaned up against me.
"Are you okay, Cass?" I asked nearly whispering.
"N-nooo." She sobbed. Good God, I couldn't take this. I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her. She curled up; hugging her knee's and laid her head up against my chest.
"Shhhhh," I whispered into her ear. She turned over and wrapped her legs around my waste, sitting on my lap. She hugged me and dug her head into my shoulder. A little like a koala bear hugging onto a tree. I wrapped my arms around her back and held her as close as I could. Her crying had slowed down some and she whispered into my ear.
"Thank you Gee."
"It's okay Cass." I said rubbing her back to calm her down more.
"No it's not!" She raised her head and looked me in the eye.
"Wha-" I tried to respond.
"Gerard, everytime shit happens like this to me, you're always there and you always help me out of it. You've saved my life so many times I've lost count and….. and I....." She leaned in, our faces where less then an inch apart.
"I love you." She said softly and pulled me into a strong kiss. I kissed back, holding on to her tighter and never letting her go. Her hand was on the back of my head, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss.
All those thoughts about if Casper loved me and how I should tell her I love her had cleared in my mind and I couldn't think of anything but that moment right there. Casper pulled away and looked me in the eyes breathing heavy.
"I love you too, Casper." I said still hugging her tightly. Her face was bright and happy when I said that. "But there's something you should know." As soon as I said that her smile faded as if she thought I was going to say something bad.
"I've loved you ever since that night at the club when me and you talked and got drinks the whole night long. I knew I was madly in love and I have been ever since that night. I wanted to tell you so bad these past 2 years but I didn't know how to and I was scared you didn't love me back." Whoa, that was a lot to put out there. Well it needed to be said and it finally was said.
"Gerard, are you serious? All these years?"
"Cass, what can I say? You made me nervous every time I was around you!" She laughed a little after I said that and kissed me again softly.
"I say we end these guessing games. You love me, right Gee?" I nodded.
"And I love you. So be mine, Gee." She touched her forehead to mine and I gazed deeper in her eyes then I ever have before. I could tell she truly loved me.
"I will forever be yours, Casper." I whispered and nuzzled my nose softly against hers.
We lied up against the small wall of her cot holding each other close. Her head was rested on my shoulder and I could feel her breath on my neck and her heart beat against my chest. This is what I wanted to do for the past 2 years and I finally got to after dreaming about holding her in my arms and making her feel safe. I could feel her start to drift away and I didn't want to move her because I loved holding her but I know she needed some rest
"Cass, you need to get some sleep." I whispered in her ear. She lifted her head up and I could see she was drowsy. She nodded at me and toppled over off my lap and lied down. I opened up the curtain and hopped out of her cot.
"Gee, wait." She sat up nearly bumping her head on the low ceiling above.
"Yeah?" I turned around and poked my head back in the cot.
"Would you……" I could see the pain come back in her eyes. I couldn't just leave her alone and I knew what she needed me to do. I climbed back into her cot and lied down next to her, wrapping her up in my arms under the covers. I held her close and kissed her cheek.
"Go to sleep." I said in a soft tone. She closed her eyes. "I love you Cass."
"I love you too." Was the last thing I heard before she drifted off into a deeply needed sleep.