What the hell is in Frank's house that needed to be kept a secret. SHRUNKEN HEADS?!
Your ridiculous amount of reviews have been read, and guesses as to what was in Frank’s house were tabulated, and HERE are the results.
Mikey Shrine- 50%
Shrunken Heads- 0% (You ass mongers.)
WHO WAS RIGHT? WERE ANY OF YOU RIGHT? READ ON, MAH PRITTEHS!
“Fucking fuck!” Mikey continued to cuss in astonishment at the entirely pink interior. Of my apartment. “You really are a fucking queer if I’ve ever dated one!”
“It’s…. Baby… Stuff…. Not a personal favorite…” I said.
“You do know you are not capable of giving birth, right? …And… Neither am I, if you’re trying to get me pregnant… Which I doubt… Because you’d be going about it all wrong… I mean…” He paused, and chuckled a little. “You, surprisingly, are a bottom, and bottom means you get it up you-”
“Mikey…” I said, looking straight ahead of me with my lips pursed.
“Unless you’re leaving me to get some chick pregnant… with what I hope will turn out to be a girl… Because… OH MY GOD, LOOK AT ALL THE PINK…” He said, and he continued rambling on in a slightly teasing way.
“Mikey…” I started, and he continued to talk mindlessly. “Mikey…” I said again. “I will thump you…” I warned, but he didn’t hear me. I narrowed the eyes at the bastard.
I thumped Mikey in the forehead. Hard enough to get his attention, but not hard enough to hurt him.
“Hey what was that for?” He asked.
“I got fucking Jamia pregnant, okay!?” I blurted out.
“You… What?... When did this happen?” He asked, looking slightly pissed off and confused at the same time.
“Long story short-” I began before he cut me off.
“I’d prefer the long version.” He said, furrowing his eyebrows and sitting down in a wooden rocking chair that was meant for a child of about six and under, that was painted in little pink roses.
“So, a few days before that fucking psycho kidnapped us, I had sex with Jamia… thinking we weren’t going to split up, and we’d been together it didn’t really matter whether or not she got knocked up… there was no condom involved… So, that’s when she ended up getting fucking pregnant… And now she’s deciding she doesn’t want the fucking kid, and now I can’t fucking take care of this kid with you because it’s not your fucking fault I’m a dumbass… And if you know about the fucking kid you’re going to leave me because what guy in his right mind wants to take care of a kid that isn’t his?” I said, feeling like I was about to throw up.
“…Did you want to… Give her up for adoption?” He asked.
“Fuck no.” I stated.
“Well… I have no problem helping you with the kid… I love kids… Bandit could have a play mate!” He shouted excitedly.
“Two…” I sighed.
“What?” He questioned, cocking his head to the side a little.
“Twins… We already agreed on names… Cherry and Lily….” I groaned.
“She wants you to take care of them both, by yourself?” He asked.
“She doesn’t give three fucks, as long as she can’t be fucking blamed for how they grow up or anything that happens to them, she’s fucking fine.” I shook my head. Jamia really had a way of pissing me off sometimes.
“Hey… You can do this… and, I’ll help you, okay?” He smiled, and kissed my cheek. I nodded and rested my head against his shoulder. I hugged him and pulled him off the rocking chair. I’ve been wanting to tell him how much I love him for a while now… I just have no idea how to tell him. I’m no good at communicating important and/or strong feelings. “So… since we’re here… Can I just… stay the night… here… with you… Pleasey please?” He asked smiling down at me.
“Whoa…. Holy hell, Frank… Your room…” He said, and looked around seeming amazed over something.
“What?” I questioned raising an eyebrow.
“Your room… Black walls… Big, comfy looking bed… Bad posters… Are you sure you’re not a teenager?” He asked.
“Hey, now, just because I like certain things doesn’t mean I’m a kid… I was never allowed to do this stuff with my room growing up, and I always wanted to.” I said and flopped on my mattress lazily.
“SURPRISE BUTTSEX!” Mikey shouted and jumped on top of me.
“Jesus! And I’m the one who’s not grown up…” I giggled.
I had no i-fucking-dea what to do after the whole ‘ex-fiancé is pregnant’ shit… So, forgive me for the random pile of shit at the end of the chapter.
REVIEW…. REVIEW…. AND… REVIEW….
Because I’ll start clubbing seals if you don’t…. And by clubbing seals, I mean going at seals on unopened packages with golfing apparatus… Trust me… You don’t want that… So, review… then rate… and make me happy. Thank you. ^^