This chapter contains all of the warning tags
(Oh and also yesterday was transgender remembrance and awareness day so I'd like to Shout Out to all my trans friends. Trans FTM's Dylan, Clyde,Josh,Anderson,Riley,Lotty,Benjamin(Who also jut got his name legally changed yesterday), Oliver,Andi W., and Fez. My MtF Girlfriends are: Andi G., Freya, Jo, Elly, Genesis, and Sam. I love y'all.)
This Particular POV I can't say that you should be over 18 to read cause I'm not. But it contains semi-rape, incest, and violence.
Daddy knew, but Gerard didn't.
I do what dad says, so he wont tell Gerard.
"Come here Mikey"
His voice was just sober enough to be able to detect the underlying menace. I crawled, up on the bed. Then I was on my elbows pants around knees being smothered by sheets. Ass in the air. Thick fingers traced my entrance, teasing with some kind of oil or lubricant or something. I'm sure there were steps to how I got into this position, but sometimes I just space out. I don't care what I'm missing. His thumb pushed in lightly, just enough to pet. Involuntarily I moan.
"What was that boy"?
He pushed in further. I bit my lip. That sadistic bastard. Oh God the sensation was pure, hunger, ungraceful and indiscriminate. I hate this, I hate it. I sighed but it came out a groan. Tears burned my eyes.
"Please" I choked out.
"Please what, Mikey?"
I swallowed embarrassment flooding my cheeks, heat pooling behind my skin.
I hate talking.
When I speak, things like that come out, desperate sounds, pleas. They just make me sound stupid.
I knew how this rabbit hole would go; I'd want it, then I'd want it only to stop, but it wouldn't. God it wasn't gonna go anywhere if I didn't say anything, torment. There was a little tickling pinch. That was all it took.
" Please!, further" I cried out.
The air in my lungs attempted to escape with my words at the same time I tried to gasp. Resulting in moan surrounded by coughing and sputtering fit. I only had a moment to think about how pathetic I looked before grabbing monster-hands wrapped around my sides pulling back towards him.
This part was the best before it was the worst.
My mind screamed at myself this was my father and the rest of me argued that it wasn't. A different feeling now, not the fingers, colder, more wet, more sinister. It pushed its way inside of me and I screamed but the fingers were placed in my throat and I choked. Saliva filling my mouth tears spilling down my face, I cough somewhat aware that my face is a wet dough of a face and that I am pathetic.
I could smell my breath. It was like milk and honey-bread. Something was wrong with that, It should stink, be...repulsive.
Then I forget about all the self loathing and hate and problems and I'm consumed by the fullness inside of me. The indiscriminate beating hunger I felt. And then it was gone, The good feeling.
The drop into pain was sharp and raw. That ripping sensation caused tears to well and sobs to choke my screams. and then there was a heat and tension and it was over.
I was disgusted and in my bed and I don't remember how I got there either, I didn't care that my glasses were forcing a painful indent into my face or that I was naked under the the thin tangled sheets or that everything hurt.