FicWad

Chapter 1:
Why am I here?

How do you know but ev'ry bird that cuts the airy way,
is an immense world of delight, clos'd by your senses five.
-William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell



"What's this?" Roxas asked, picking up a book and studying the name- Marquis de Sade.

"Oh, that's just that stupid book Larxene reads," Axel grinned, taking the book out of the boy's hands and starting to flip through it with a very bored look.

"Can I see it?" Roxas asked but before he could reach for the book, Axel closed it rather loudly, throwing it back on the table where it had been before. "I really don't think you want to read the stuff that's in there," he stated.

Roxas was silent for a moment before he asked, "Why not?"

Axel sat down on the sofa. "Because...I really don't think you'd like what's in there," he answered.

"Why?" Roxas probed, his expression still quite blank.

"Just put it back, alright? And try to put it back the way it was so she doesn't think anyone touched it," he answered.

"Why doesn't she let anyone else touch it?" Roxas continued to question though his eyes were still icey blue, showing no emotion.

"It's...special to her, I guess," Axel said with a scowl. "Dunno why she likes it so much."

Roxas began to finger through the books among the library's shelves. One book that was sticking out caught his eye and he picked it up, reading the name of the author- Edgar Allan Poe. He flipped through it until he decided he was satisfied with his find and went to sit on the sofa next to Axel. He opened the book and began to read "The Raven" poem, his face remaining ever so unchanging.

Axel tilted his head to see what the boy was reading. He then smirked, his eyes narrowing as he raised an eyebrow. "That's a little dark for you, isn't it?"

The blonde did not reply until he had finished reading. He looked over at his friend and saw that he was asleep. To his own surprise, a grin made its way upon Roxas's face. "Hey," he said, nudging Axel's shoulder a few times with his hand.

"Huh?" Axel replied, sitting up.

"I'm bored," Roxas said flatly, gazing into the other's green eyes. He placed the book back on the table in front of him.

"Okay," the older boy said, smiling. "C'mon, follow me."

Roxas, who had been told to follow all the other member's orders, followed silently. His light blue eyes looked dull and Axel thought he looked as if he were a slave.

"You know that wasn't exactly an order, right?" the red-head asked. "You don't have to follow me if you don't want to."

Roxas watched as Axel began to walk away and for some reason, the heart he did not have seemed to be telling him to follow for he did not wish to stay behind by himself. He thought of how Demyx and the others might come to tease him more if he did. "Eh-wait up!" he called, running over to the older boy. "I wanna come," he said, looking up at him.

Axel paused, looking down at him. He smiled and Roxas grinned in response. "All right," he said. "Let's go." With this, the red-head suddenly grabbed Roxas's wrist and began to lead him down the halls of the castle.

Roxas's eyes suddenly widened and he tried to pull away from Axel's grip. "Let go!" he said, squeezing Axel's hand until he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Ow! Damn!" Axel gritted his teeth, letting go of Roxas's arm and rubbing his hand where the boy had hurt him. "Finally starting to show some personality, huh?" he said.

Roxas glared at Axel. He just couldn't understand. Why wasn't he angry at him? Roxas's eyes saddened when he looked at him. "I-I'm sorry," he said. Then he added in more of a serious tone, "But did you really have to grab my wrist like that? What else did you expect me to do in response to that?"

"Heh. I'm...sorry," he said. "I didn't really expect you to freak out like that. I'm sorry if I scared you."

"It's okay," Roxas replied before touching Axel's gloved hand, examining it. "Sorry if I hurt your hand."

"Yeah, only a little," Axel said sarcastically although their was a playful grin on his face. "Now c'mon," he said, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his black coat.
Roxas smiled and followed closely, becoming silent again. As they made their way down the halls, Roxas glared around cautiously. Many of the order members were hanging out, either leaning against the hall walls or talking with one another. Suddenly, Roxas felt someone grab his left arm and pull him away. He closed his eyes tightly. Oh no! They're going to kill me! Roxas thought terrified. He began to wonder if Axel set him up but to his relief, he heard the older teen growl, "Let him go, Larxene."
Larxene narrowed her eyes, squeezing Roxas's arms. "I just wanna hear him squeal," she hissed darkly.

"Ah...eh-" Roxas's eyes began to water as she continued to torture him.

"Maybe you didn't hear me the first time," Axel continued, sounding rather annoyed. "I said let him go. Now."

"Or what?" Larxene laughed, her eyes shinning with cunning.

Axel's eyes narrowed and his two chakrams suddenly appeared in his hands. "Or I'll make you." He grinned. "You know I'm stronger than you."

Larxene let out a sigh, releasing Roxas who fell to his kness, writhing in pain, gritting his teeth as he tried not cry. Larxene simply grinned before calmly walking away, giving Axel a cold look before she continued towards the library where she would most likely pick up her book again.

Axel kneeled beside Roxas. "Are you okay, kid?" he asked but the boy did not reply. "Roxas? Roxas!" Axel shouted.

Roxas moaned and he stood up slowly. "Owww..." he said, gripping his arms. "What did she do that for?"

"That's just the way she is," Axel said. "I told you to stay away from her."

"Hey! I didn't go near her. She just grabbed me! It's not my fault!" Roxas growled. "Ow," he groaned again. "Now my arms hurt like heck." He sat back down in the middle of the halls, pouting.

Axel thought for a moment. No one was going to mess with his new friend. After a moment of silence - except for Roxas's moaning in the background- he had an idea. "Heheh. What'd'ya say we have some revenge on her?"he asked, grinning.

Roxas looked up at him, soft blue eyes looking quite confused. "How?" he asked. "And are you sure that's really a good idea? What if we get caught?"

Axel shrugged. "We won't get caught," he said. "Heh. When no one's around, we'll sneak into the library and there, I'll set her beloved book on fire. Perfect plan, huh?" The older boy grinned happily.

"I don't know..." he said, staring up at him. "Only if you really think it'll work."

"Feh! I know it'll work, kid! Now, c'mon!" Axel held his hand out to him. Roxas's eyes shone gratefully and he let the red-head help him up. The two then made their way to the library and over to the book. Axel smiled, glancing at it one last time before his chakrams appeared in his hands. "See ya, Marquis de Sade! ...I have no idea if I said that right but whatever!" With this, he used his chakrams to set the book on fire until it was nothing but ashes. He then picked up the remains of the book and threw them on the table. "A gift for Larxene!" he said, looking proudly at what he had just done.

"We better get out of here now before we get caught," Roxas said, looking around worriedly.

Axel nodded in agreement before taking the boys hand and leading him out of the room. This time Roxas didn't hurt poor Axel's hand or attempt to push him away for he was starting to trust his friend more. He watched as Axel opened the door to another room that looked rather empty inside except for two beds- one to the left of the room and one to the right of the room.

"Whose room is this?" Roxas asked.

"Mine," Axel replied and then added with a grin, "but I don't have a room-mate and seeing as all the other rooms are taken, I guess you're stuck with me. Heh."

Roxas smiled. It seemed Axel was the only one that could make him do that. He then turned his gaze back to the room. The bed to the right was not made and there werea few books strewn across the floor next to it. The bed to the left however seemed perfectly made. Guess that one's mine. With this, the boy layed down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Axel sat down on the other bed and started flipping through a manga boredly.

"Axel," Roxas said quietly, flipping over so that he was laying on his stomach. He wrapped his arms around his pillow and muttered against it, "do you...ever wish you...had a real heart?"

Axel lowered his book to look at him. His usual grin turned to a rather hurt looking expression and his shinning eyes clouded over in sorrow. "Yeah, I do. But if we stay in the Organization...we can find Kingdom Hearts. Then we'll be whole."

Roxas nodded, sadness in his eyes. He wondered why he was even able to feel sadness and how Axel could make him smile...and how come Axel was always smiling if nobodies weren't suposed to even have real emotions?

Axel sighed as if he were thinking. He then put down the manga he was reading and stood up slowly, slipping gloved hands into his pockets. "Hey," he said to Roxas who seemed to have been day dreaming about something. "I'm gonna go hang out for a little while, kay?"

Roxas nodded. "Ok. I'm too tired to do anything more right now so I think I'll stay here."

"Okay. You really should get some rest after what Larxene did to you. I'll be back soon." With this, the red-head turned and walked out of the room, starting to make his way down the halls. "And don't touch any of my books," he growled although it didn't seem to be an order.

Unable to stop himself, Roxas waited a few minutes before he walked over to Axel's bed and picked up one of the mangas, starting to read. About half an hour passed when Roxas grew bored and fell asleep, hugging the book like it were a plushie as he dreamed. Slowly and silently, the door to the room opened but it was not Axel returning. It was Larxene. She smiled darkly when she saw Roxas sleeping. She made a beckoning motion with her hands and Marluxia stepped into the room as well, smiling evilly.

Larxene was sure Axel and Roxas must've been the ones that destroyed her pecious book. Only Axel could've burned it to ashes like it was. "First we'll beat the kid up," she said, pointing to Roxas. "And then we'll find Axel and teach him a lesson, too."

Roxas stirred in his sleep, dropping the book he had been clinging to. As it hit the ground with a thud, the boy's eyes flew open. He then looked up to see the two order members coming toward him. By the look in their eyes, he knew they had come to hurt him. Badly. He froze, his eyes showing a hint of fear.

"See ya, fool," Larxene said and with this, she and Marluxia advanced forward, grabbing Roxas and throwing him off the bed so that he hit the ground where he was then beaten by the two uncaring members. He writhed in pain and shouted for help. "Axel!" he cried, hoping his friend could hear him wherever he was. Agony gnawed at him and his vision began to blur. Was he going to die?

Suddenly, Larxene paused. "Uh oh," she said, stepping away from Roxas. "I think I can sense Axel coming."

"Feh. Let's go," Marluxia said with a twisted grin as he glared down at Roxas one last time. "Foolish boy," he muttered before following Larxene out of the room.

Roxas moaned. He felt as though his whole body was in pain. Moments later he heard a very familiar voice shout "What did you do to him!?" outside of the room and seconds after that, the door flew open, banging against the hard castle walls. "Roxas!"

Roxas blinked and thought he could see Axel kneeling in front of him, calling his name and shaking the boy. "Roxas, please! You have to get up!" he heard him calling.

Roxas coughed, rasping and raised a shaky arm. He felt Axel gently hold his hand and he smiled at his friend although it was getting harder for him to see. Roxas' hearing and sight seemed to fading and he felt like he was about to pass out. "Axel..." he said, his voice cracking in pain. "Why am I here? What's my purpose?" Before the red-head could think of a reply, Roxas slipped into unconsciousness.