Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > What Is Love?
(Kade's POV)
My body still slightly ached from the bone crushing hug Brendon pulled me in to as soon as I left Ryan's bedroom. He kept shooting me strange glances and I didn't know what was going on. Spencer had left the room to call for a pizza. Ryan and Jon were playing a video game. Now it was just me and Brendon on the couch. Brendon scooted closer, "Hey." he whispered.
"Hey." I whispered back, unsure as to why we were even whispering.
"Did anything happen?" He quickly asked. "I mean... I worried when you went home with your dad and now you're here and I- I'm just worried." He concluded, staring at me.
I shrugged and leaned my head against his shoulder, "Everything is fine. Everything will be fine." Was all I could say. None of these perfect wonderful guys needed to have their lives shaken by the knowledge that I had been raped. Brendon looked guilty. I didn't want him to feel guilty, especially if I told him the truth. It hadn't been his fault. It hadn't been anyone's fault. I was slowly starting to grasp at the concept that I hadn't deserved it...
Brendon sighed, "I feel so bad. I never should have gotten you in to that situation."
"Don't feel bad. I had such a good time with you." I admitted. It was true. And it had subsequently lead to my freedom here... so it couldn't be that bad of a thing in my mind. My mood was lifting, quickly. It felt good to be happy.
Brendon laughed, "Next time we should avoid getting arrested."
"Arrested?" Spencer asked, confused. He had just walked back in to the room.
My face paled and I hoped he wouldn't get angry. "Yeah, we got arrested last night. Didn't you hear?" Brendon asked, sitting up. I moved away from him slightly.
Spencer cast a worried glance in my direction. "No... I didn't." Then I was relieved as he smiled slightly, amusement playing over his face. "Leave it to Brendon to get you arrested Kade... That's his thing."
"Hey now! It's not like I get arrested all the time." Brendon said, crossing his arms over his chest as he pretended to be upset.
I watched as Spencer rolled his eyes and Brendon huffed in annoyance, "You better have ordered me pepperoni." Brendon said.
Spencer nodded, "I've ordered pizza for you how many times now Brendon?"
"You ordered it with mushrooms once." He said, in an accusing tone.
"I wanted mushrooms and it was just us. You picked them all off. It wasn't as if it stopped you from eating, since we all know that's impossible." Spencer shot back.
"Mushrooms are disgusting." Brendon said, glaring at Spencer.
I laughed and nodded, "Mushrooms are pretty disgusting." I agreed.
Spencer fake glared at both of us, "Next time I'm ordering extra mushrooms just for you two." He warned. "As your punishment for going to jail."
"I think going to jail is the punishment actually." Brendon pointed out, smirking.
Spencer shrugged, "Doesn't seem as if it did any good."
Brendon looked towards me, "You're right. It was fantastic. I have the urge to go again!" Brendon declared, sarcastically. "Kade... I'll start practicing my story telling skills for you and you plan something highly illegal."
"Sex in public is illegal." Jon pointed out, still playing his game with Ryan.
"Yeah but I doubt they would put you guys in the same cell if they arrest you for having sex together." Ryan pointed out.
"Plus I don't think I want to have sex in public." I added, biting my lip as I thought about it. It seemed quite horrifying.
Spencer laughed at the look on my face, "I'm against the having sex in public thing as well..."
Brendon pouted, "Ryan will you have sex with me in public?" He asked, in a begging voice.
"Nope." Ryan said, hiding his laughter poorly.
"Jon?" Brendon asked, forcing fake tears in to his eyes.
Jon pretended to check out Brendon's body for a second before slowly nodding, "Possibly."
"Yay! Jon and I are going to have sex in public!" Brendon shouted, laughing gleefully.
"Hey, I said possibly." Jon said. "Not definitely. Though you're cute when you shout... that might work in your favor." He joked.
I laughed, clutching my side. "Oww." I said, in between laughter.
"Ow?" Spencer asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It hurts to laugh this hard." I said, trying to stop myself from laughing but it was hard. The conversation we had all stumbled upon was just... hilarious. The looks on each of the boys face's was something I wanted to keep in my memory forever.
The funniest part being the idea of Jon and Brendon having sex in public. I couldn't help myself as I laughed harder at the idea.
Finally the doorbell rang and Brendon jumped up, Ryan and Jon following him. I was still laughing. Spencer leaned forward and brushed some tears from my face, "Don't strain yourself with all that laughter." He joked.
Finally I started calming down and grinned, "I really like it here." I told him.
Spencer smiled pleasantly, "I'm glad. We all like you being here."
**
"My stomach kind of hurts." I complained.
Spencer laughed and nodded, "That kind of happens when you eat half of an entire pizza." It wasn't a small pizza either.
Brendon had eaten the other half but he looked fine. I was not fine, however. I felt as if my stomach were going to explode any minute. "I was hungry." I said, attempting to defend my actions.
"... and Brendon challenged you to eat as much as him." Ryan pointed out, a grin plastered to his face.
"Well yeah, that too." I blushed, "But I did, didn't I?"
Jon laughed, "You did. Something we haven't seen in awhile..." He sounded impressed, "Brendon and you are going to eat the entire town together some day."
"Hey, I don't eat like that all the time." I said, glaring at him.
Spencer laughed, "I'd hope not. I think you might just actually explode if you did. There isn't enough room inside of you for all of that food."
I shrugged, "It was worth it." I held my hand out.
Brendon groaned and slapped a twenty dollar bill in to my hand after searching through his wallet. "I admit defeat." He said, fake glaring at me.
I laughed and fell against Brendon's shoulder, yawning. "Now I'm sleepy."
"Movie time?" Jon asked.
We all mumbled replies of agreement and Jon stood up to put in a movie. The opening credits began and I blinked sleepily as I tried to focus on the screen. Slowly I curled up on the couch, getting slightly cold. I felt a blanket get pulled over me and looked over to see Spencer smiling at me. As I closed my eyes the moment felt perfect. For the first time in my life I had friends and I wasn't afraid. For the first time since I could remember... it felt good to be me.
**
My body still slightly ached from the bone crushing hug Brendon pulled me in to as soon as I left Ryan's bedroom. He kept shooting me strange glances and I didn't know what was going on. Spencer had left the room to call for a pizza. Ryan and Jon were playing a video game. Now it was just me and Brendon on the couch. Brendon scooted closer, "Hey." he whispered.
"Hey." I whispered back, unsure as to why we were even whispering.
"Did anything happen?" He quickly asked. "I mean... I worried when you went home with your dad and now you're here and I- I'm just worried." He concluded, staring at me.
I shrugged and leaned my head against his shoulder, "Everything is fine. Everything will be fine." Was all I could say. None of these perfect wonderful guys needed to have their lives shaken by the knowledge that I had been raped. Brendon looked guilty. I didn't want him to feel guilty, especially if I told him the truth. It hadn't been his fault. It hadn't been anyone's fault. I was slowly starting to grasp at the concept that I hadn't deserved it...
Brendon sighed, "I feel so bad. I never should have gotten you in to that situation."
"Don't feel bad. I had such a good time with you." I admitted. It was true. And it had subsequently lead to my freedom here... so it couldn't be that bad of a thing in my mind. My mood was lifting, quickly. It felt good to be happy.
Brendon laughed, "Next time we should avoid getting arrested."
"Arrested?" Spencer asked, confused. He had just walked back in to the room.
My face paled and I hoped he wouldn't get angry. "Yeah, we got arrested last night. Didn't you hear?" Brendon asked, sitting up. I moved away from him slightly.
Spencer cast a worried glance in my direction. "No... I didn't." Then I was relieved as he smiled slightly, amusement playing over his face. "Leave it to Brendon to get you arrested Kade... That's his thing."
"Hey now! It's not like I get arrested all the time." Brendon said, crossing his arms over his chest as he pretended to be upset.
I watched as Spencer rolled his eyes and Brendon huffed in annoyance, "You better have ordered me pepperoni." Brendon said.
Spencer nodded, "I've ordered pizza for you how many times now Brendon?"
"You ordered it with mushrooms once." He said, in an accusing tone.
"I wanted mushrooms and it was just us. You picked them all off. It wasn't as if it stopped you from eating, since we all know that's impossible." Spencer shot back.
"Mushrooms are disgusting." Brendon said, glaring at Spencer.
I laughed and nodded, "Mushrooms are pretty disgusting." I agreed.
Spencer fake glared at both of us, "Next time I'm ordering extra mushrooms just for you two." He warned. "As your punishment for going to jail."
"I think going to jail is the punishment actually." Brendon pointed out, smirking.
Spencer shrugged, "Doesn't seem as if it did any good."
Brendon looked towards me, "You're right. It was fantastic. I have the urge to go again!" Brendon declared, sarcastically. "Kade... I'll start practicing my story telling skills for you and you plan something highly illegal."
"Sex in public is illegal." Jon pointed out, still playing his game with Ryan.
"Yeah but I doubt they would put you guys in the same cell if they arrest you for having sex together." Ryan pointed out.
"Plus I don't think I want to have sex in public." I added, biting my lip as I thought about it. It seemed quite horrifying.
Spencer laughed at the look on my face, "I'm against the having sex in public thing as well..."
Brendon pouted, "Ryan will you have sex with me in public?" He asked, in a begging voice.
"Nope." Ryan said, hiding his laughter poorly.
"Jon?" Brendon asked, forcing fake tears in to his eyes.
Jon pretended to check out Brendon's body for a second before slowly nodding, "Possibly."
"Yay! Jon and I are going to have sex in public!" Brendon shouted, laughing gleefully.
"Hey, I said possibly." Jon said. "Not definitely. Though you're cute when you shout... that might work in your favor." He joked.
I laughed, clutching my side. "Oww." I said, in between laughter.
"Ow?" Spencer asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It hurts to laugh this hard." I said, trying to stop myself from laughing but it was hard. The conversation we had all stumbled upon was just... hilarious. The looks on each of the boys face's was something I wanted to keep in my memory forever.
The funniest part being the idea of Jon and Brendon having sex in public. I couldn't help myself as I laughed harder at the idea.
Finally the doorbell rang and Brendon jumped up, Ryan and Jon following him. I was still laughing. Spencer leaned forward and brushed some tears from my face, "Don't strain yourself with all that laughter." He joked.
Finally I started calming down and grinned, "I really like it here." I told him.
Spencer smiled pleasantly, "I'm glad. We all like you being here."
**
"My stomach kind of hurts." I complained.
Spencer laughed and nodded, "That kind of happens when you eat half of an entire pizza." It wasn't a small pizza either.
Brendon had eaten the other half but he looked fine. I was not fine, however. I felt as if my stomach were going to explode any minute. "I was hungry." I said, attempting to defend my actions.
"... and Brendon challenged you to eat as much as him." Ryan pointed out, a grin plastered to his face.
"Well yeah, that too." I blushed, "But I did, didn't I?"
Jon laughed, "You did. Something we haven't seen in awhile..." He sounded impressed, "Brendon and you are going to eat the entire town together some day."
"Hey, I don't eat like that all the time." I said, glaring at him.
Spencer laughed, "I'd hope not. I think you might just actually explode if you did. There isn't enough room inside of you for all of that food."
I shrugged, "It was worth it." I held my hand out.
Brendon groaned and slapped a twenty dollar bill in to my hand after searching through his wallet. "I admit defeat." He said, fake glaring at me.
I laughed and fell against Brendon's shoulder, yawning. "Now I'm sleepy."
"Movie time?" Jon asked.
We all mumbled replies of agreement and Jon stood up to put in a movie. The opening credits began and I blinked sleepily as I tried to focus on the screen. Slowly I curled up on the couch, getting slightly cold. I felt a blanket get pulled over me and looked over to see Spencer smiling at me. As I closed my eyes the moment felt perfect. For the first time in my life I had friends and I wasn't afraid. For the first time since I could remember... it felt good to be me.
**
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