It starts off sad and then ends in happiness. If you want to know what happens then I guess you'll just have to read.
“Relax!” Brendon said picking up more speed.
“Please slow down!” I cried gripping my knee to my chest.
“Come on take a chill pi-“
“Brendon watch out for the truck!” SCREECH.
Beep beep. Beep beep.
I listened to the slow steady heart monitor, each beep they made seemed slower than the last. If it weren’t for the wires hooked up to my arms and the pain surging threw my entire body, I could’ve swore I was dead. My heart was gone. The beeping I heard was just a mockery of what I should be hearing. All I do hear is one long, straight beep. I knew I was dying. Dying is such a strong word. I think it’s just a release from this pain-filled world.
Beep beep. Beep beep.
Everyone came to see me today; all with sorrowful intentions, all to say goodbye. I wanted to tell them not to say goodbye. I’m not dead yet right? Or maybe I am, maybe this is all there is to the after-life. The smell of hospitals and puke. The combination alone is enough to make you sick, let alone the food they shove down your throat every day. It’s not like I could refuse, I can’t even move. I can’t tell my friends to be strong for me. I know I have to pull threw, I couldn’t leave everyone. I couldn’t leave my best friends Brendon, Jon, Spencer, and Ryan, but what choice did I have? I know I was going to be dead.
Beep beep. Beep beep.
They said I won’t make it long. They said it’d be a miracle if I woke up or even moved at all. I wish I could wake up and tell them to just take me off life support. There was no hope for me now. I was already dead, but my body hadn’t given up yet. Ryan, Brendon, Jon and Spencer hadn’t given up hope. They were trying their best to wake me up. Everyday Ryan would come in and play guitar for me until Brendon came to sing to me. Then Jon and Spencer would come in together and they would just recite old memories that were long forgotten. I knew when they were talking that they were crying. You could hear it in their voices. As if all the happiness had been drained out and replaced with a more difficult type of pain.
Beep beep. Beep beep.
“Why hasn’t she woken up yet?” Brendon asked the doctor.
“We’re not sure. It’s been two months, she should’ve woken up by now. It’s as if, she’s fighting herself. Trying to stay asleep.” I heard the sound of pen on paper and the door close. Brendon had sat by my bed and started crying. Ryan joined him after a few minutes. Why couldn’t I just reach out and touch one of them? Just to let them know I’m ok. But I’m not. I felt as if I was drowning and nobody was coming to save me. I could feel the walls get smaller and the ceiling bend down. But the funny thing is: I don’t want anyone to save me. I’m perfectly fine with leaving, but it’s what’ll happen to everyone else is what I’m scared of.
“This is all my fault Ry.” I heard Brendon say through a muffled cry. Brendon it’s not your fault. It never will be. If I hadn’t have been in the car you would’ve died they told you that. Why can’t you understand I would die for you? You’re my best friend.
“No it’s not! Stop telling yourself that! She would hate for you to feel guilty, you know that!” Thank you Ryan. You described my feelings to a tee.
Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep beeeeeeeeeeee-
“No.” I could hear Brendon crying in the background.
“Thank you for doing the best you could in keeping her comfortable.” Ryan said to the doctor. “Goodbye Gabe. You’ll always be like my sister. I love you. Don’t forget your skull suspenders.” No Ryan please don’t say goodbye. Remember what you used to say? How goodbyes were only until tomorrow?
“Gabe, I’m so sorry. I never wanted this is happen to you. If I could go back in time and know what I do now I wouldn’t have been speeding in that stupid fucking car. Hell I’d give up my own life if that meant you’d be ok. I’m so fucking sorry. I love you. Best friends for life.” Dammit Brendon you’re gonna make me cry.
“When you get up to heaven, tell Jesus to suck your dick. I love you Gabe, you’re like my sister and always will be.” Spencer please don’t do this. Don’t cry; I can’t stand it when you cry.
“You were always the funniest person I’ve ever known, and I know a lot of people. You were strong-willed, beautiful, and random as hell. I can trust you with all of my secrets and you never tell a soul. You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to family. I love you.” God Jon, what the fuck? I’m probably crying now you bastard! I fucking love you too, but right now I hate you because I think I’m going to cry. I want to tell them I’m ok. Please just let me tell them I’m ok! A bright light washes over my vision. Dammit, I’m dead. This is heaven and I’m going to go straight to hell.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Beep beep.
“Ugh, what’s the point guys she can’t hear us.” Spencer, you motherfucking ray of sunshine, you.
“Gabe?! Guys she’s waking up! She’s waking up!” Ryan you idiot. Jeez, can someone turn off the goddamn light?!
I blink a few times but my vision is still blurry. I couldn’t speak. My throat was dry and I was desperately fighting to get anything I could to pass my lips. I looked around the room for a couple seconds and sat up. Dizziness soon overtook me as I tried my best to stay up.
“Gabe lay back down.” Spencer laughed. I shook my head and did my best to bring up my hand and flip him off. It literally took all of my energy and soon I felt like sleeping again. No dammit! I’ve been asleep for two months I’m not going to sleep any longer. I sat up again and finally found the will to talk.
“Brendon it wasn’t your fault don’t ever think that. Thank you Ryan for explaining that to him. Yes Spencer I could hear you guys, oh and by the way I saw Jesus; he say’s you’re going to hell motherfucker. Jon you asshole you made me almost start to cry. I fucking love all of you guys. You’re like my brothers.” I slowly spoke, still trying to wake up.
“Told you Spencer.” Ryan said smugly.
“Eh, fuck off.” Spencer said back.
Three Months later
‘I’ve been recovering well. I think I get to leave today, but the sad thing is: I won’t be walking out. Wanna know why? Because they wheel you out of the hospital. Did I scare you guys? I love you all! Come pick me up at 3:00.’ I quickly texted them all. Looking over to the clock I realized it was 2:45. I took a deep breath and grabbed my bag from the floor. The nurse came in and told me that I could walk out if I wanted, which I loved that option. I hate wheelchairs.
“Now Brendon, make sure you drive slow ok? I don’t feel like ending back up in that place.” I joked and he nodded. “Hasta LA vista bitches.” I laughed and flipped off the hospital before climbing into Brendon’s car.