A sad little one-shot I put together.
"I love you too." She whispered back looking out onto the crowds of fans that had come for the meet and greet. She suddenly felt small, closed in, and trapped. The sea of people was making her nervous. "Hey, I'm gonna go home ok?" She whispered to Ryan as he was signing a picture of the band for some 14 year old girl.
"Ok." He said not looking up for signing. She sighed and began her journey out of the ocean of screaming fans. After getting trampled about 3 times she finally made it out of the building. It was freezing outside and she had forgotten to take a coat. She walked to her car shivering and when she finally reached it she unlocked the car and got in as fast as she could. After starting the car and sitting for a couple of seconds she pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive home. She got home in half an hour, and sat down on the couch. She flipped on the TV and decided to wait for her boyfriend to get home, but immediately fell asleep. Ryan finally came home at 7:35, about an hour and a half after she had fallen asleep.
"Gabe." Ryan laughed shaking her a little. "Gabe wake up."
"Huh?" She asked fluttering her eyes open.
"You fell asleep." He said sitting down next to her.
"Oh." She let out a silent laugh. "So," She started "I was thinking we could go out to eat for dinner. What do you think?" She smiled, hoping this time he would actually go.
"Sorry babe I can't. I have plans with Brendon." Her smile slowly faded and she was about fed up with always being ignored.
"Dammit Ryan. You always ditch me to go hang out with him! Can't you spend more than an hour away from him?! I'm your girlfriend, Ry! Don't you think I should get top priority?!" She yelled as she got off of the couch. Tears threating to break free from her grey eyes.
"I have a fucking life that doesn't involve you too, you know!" He screamed back, getting off of the couch and standing in front of her. He was towering over her and it kind of scared her, but she wouldn't let it show. All anger from her face had retreated and was now replaced with sadness and confusion.
"I...' She started, completely shocked by what he had said. "Ry..."
"Shut the fuck up! I don't want hear it! You're so fucking dependent all of the time! You think just because we're dating that I need to devote every second of every day with you! Well I'm sorry that you're so fucking needy all of the time! I'm sorry that you're the biggest screw up anyone's ever met and I'm the only one that'll take you." He screamed. She had started crying.
"Ry, I-I thought... you... loved me." More tears fell down her cheeks.
"Well you thought wrong." He said grabbing his coat and walking out of the door. He instantly regretted everything he had said and silently began sobbing in his car. He decided that maybe it was best for him to stay at Brendon or Spencer's place tonight. Him and Gabe both needed some time to cool off. She was still standing, but her knees felt like they could give out at any moment. She had heard enough to know what she had to do. She was going to end the problem that was messing up everyone else's lives. Herself. Walking into her room she had found Ryan's notebook laying on the floor. She flipped to an unopened page and started to write.
I've come to realize that all I ever do is mess things up. I'm a mistake and I probably shouldn't even be here. You know that one person mentioned in movies and books and TV shows but is never named? Yeah I'm that person. Everything I've ever touched becomes broken, shatered, destroyed. My only purpose was to completely ruin things for everyone else, but that won't happen anymore. I'm sorry for ruining all of your lives. I'm sorry for being a screw up and a mistake. I'm sorry for everything. Mom, I love you please don't forget that. Dad, go screw yourself; I hate you and I hope that little whore that you married knows I hate her too. Spencer, you're my best friend and possibly the only person who doesn't hate me. I'm sorry for what this is going to do to you. Brendon I know you don't really like me, but I just want to say that I'm sorry for taking Ryan away from you whenever you guys would hang out. Jon, I haven't known you for long, but thats a good thing. I haven't had a chance to ruin your life yet. Ryan I'm sorry for fucking up your life. It won't happen anymore I promise. I loved you.
She placed the notebook down on the bed and walked into the bathroom. She grabbed a bottle of pills and some water. She walked back into the bedroom and sat down on the bed, taking exacly 13 little white pills.
Ryan thought he should try and fix things so he went home. Upon his return he found an empty livingroom, but the lights and TV were still on, and knowing Gabe he knew she was a huge energy conserver and hated to leave electronics on when she left the room.
"Gabe?" He called out. He waited a couple of seconds for an answer, but one never came. "Gabe?" He asked again, making his way upstairs. He reached the bedroom and saw a sleeping Gabe. He smiled and walked over to her. That's when he noticed she wasn't breathing. "Gabe?!" He asked shaking her a little bit. "Gabe wake up!" He screamed shaking her harder now. "Please, please wake up! I'm sorry for everything I said! I'm so fucking sorry! Just please don't leave me! Please." He knew he was too late. He had killed her. He kissed her cold lips one more time, and held her in his arms just one more time. Looking around he noticed his notebook. He read the note and decided to write a response and his own suicide note.
You were never a screw up. I'm so sorry for saying that. I didn't mean a word I said. If I knew it would end like this I would've kept my mouth shut and would've went with you. I would take a bullet for you. I'm sorry baby. I do love you no matter what I said. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. You were never a mistake and if you were, you were the best damn mistake I ever made. Everything you touch doesn't break or get shattered ot destroyed. Before you came along I was a drug addict and an alcohalic, but then you came along and fixed me. You made my life worth living and I'm so fucking sorry I ruined yours. I know we never had that kind of relationship you wanted, but it wasn't your fault. You put effort into us, I didn't. I was afraid that I would get hurt. I know it doesn't matter know because you're already gone, but I'll be joining you soon. Brendon, Jon, and Spencer I hope you guys know that you're my best friends, and I hope you understand why I have to do this. I need to be with her. I'm sorry. You should find a new guitarist. Goodbye.
He took some pills and layed down, Gabe lying on his chest. He pulled out his phone and dialed Brendon's number.
"Hey Ry." Brendon said happily.
"I'm so sorry Brendon, but this is it for me. Goodbye."
"What? What do you mean this is it f-"Ryan hung up before Brendon could finish.
Hello and welcome to Channel 9 news. Breaking news: George Ryan Ross, guitarist for Panic! At The Disco, was found dead in his apartment with his girlfriend Gabriella Aliss Rae after an emergency call from his friend. Detectives have yet to investigate, but they believe it was suicide, due to the notes they found lying on the bed next to them. Brendon Urie, lead singer and also clostest friend of Mr. Ross, notes "We always knew he was like, I guess we just chose to ignore it. And her? Well you could've never guessed. She was the only person I knew that just when her name is mentioned it brightens the mood in the room." Tune in at 11 to hear the full story.