Juliette meets Brendon's friends.
Why am I like this? I'm shaking. I gripped the steering wheel, stealing glances at Juliette every few seconds. She wouldn't look at me. Wouldn't talk to me. I didn't blame her. She just forgave me! How could I lay something so cruel upon her?
I need her. I need to hurt her. I don't want to hurt her. I don't know what to do anymore. If I hurt her, if I hurt Anne, then she'll hate me more. Will she ever forgive me again?
Slowly I cleared my throat, "I-um... We can talk about it more at home." I offered, not wanting her to freak out in front of my friends.
Her words horrified me, "Are you just going to kill me as well?"
"N-no... Of course not. Why the hell would I kill you? I l-" I cut myself off thankfully. "I love being with you." I rephrased immediately.
She shrugged, "I know who you are too."
I nodded, "Yeah but I-I have tour coming soon... I have to leave with the guys and I- I have no other choice with Anne." I tried to explain, stuttering quite a bit.
"And you have no choice with me either." Juliette pointed out.
"I-I..." I licked my lips, "I was going to take you with me."
Juliette just laughed bitterly, "Yeah, I'm sure." She replied.
"Hey, I want to. Why are you calling me a liar?" I asked, slightly annoyed.
"Because what are you going to do with me on tour, with your friends around?" Juliette shot back.
"I haven't thought it through all the way. Just give me time." I pleaded.
"Yeah, sure. I'll keep your bed warm while you plan my death." Juliette said.
I couldn't help it. I got frustrated. I felt extremely guilty as my hand flew back, making contact with her face. "Don't talk to me like that." I whispered harshly, turning the music up as I looked away from her. I needed to apologize! Why couldn't I apologize? What has become of me?
Am I... so much of a monster that I'll never be able to give Juliette a regular romance? Honestly, that's all I wanted now.
Brendon pulled in to the parking lot of a gas station and turned his attention to me. I wasn't looking at him but I could tell he was looking at me. "Are you going to be okay to stay in here?" Brendon asked, "Or do I need you to come with me?"
I simply got out of the car, not speaking to him.
I heard him grunt in disapproval as he caught up with me in time to open the door for me. I walked through without a word. I was not going to make tonight nice for him. Not after he broke the news that he planned to kill Anne. And well, I still thought maybe... Maybe I could stop him. That's the only thing that kept me from speaking out.
How stupid was I? The idea of Brendon not being able to go back to Anne if I spoke out never even crossed my mind.
Brendon walked to the back of the store and I slowly followed him, sending a weak smile to the gas station attendant who happily greeted us. "What type do you drink?" Brendon asked.
Instead of speaking I walked a little further until I found cold coffee drinks. I grabbed a double shot and handed it to him. "That's small. Are you sure you don't want two?" So I grabbed another one and handed it to him as well.
I could tell my silence was annoying him.
Once Brendon paid we went outside and he sighed, speaking to me in an annoyed tone. "Are you going to ignore me all night?"
"You hit me." I didn't look at him.
Brendon nodded and I felt his cold hands on my chin, forcing my face up. I hesitantly looked in to his eyes. "I'm so sorry Juliette." He mumbled, watching me carefully for a reaction.
I just nodded. "Yeah? That's always nice to hear. You can't even be normal for a night. We can't go a night without you violently reacting to something I say."
Brendon nodded, "I know that's how it seems..."
I cut him off, "No, that's not how it seems. That's how it is. I'm sick of being hurt. When you hit me... it hurts Brendon. I'm not just talking the physical aspect either. I bet you wouldn't like it."
"Hit me." Brendon said with a strong tone.
I shook my head hesitantly. "No... that's okay. I'd rather not show up to meet your friends with even more bruises. At least right now I can cover mine."
"I won't hit you back." Brendon said. "But you're right. I had no right to hit you, that was wrong of me. I lost my temper and I need to stop doing that with you. So hit me."
I sighed and stared in to his face. He didn't look like he was going to drop the subject. Slowly I formed a fist with my hand and brought it up as fast as I could, hitting him directly in the face. He closed his eyes and breathed out in pain as I squeaked loudly. "Are you okay?" Brendon immediately asked, stepping closer to me.
I stared up at him with tears in my eyes, "T-that hurt." I whispered, in a whiny tone.
Brendon grinned, "You're delicate." He murmured, leaning down to brush his lips across mine.
"Did it at least hurt?" I asked.
"A lot." Brendon lied.
I knew he was lying but it still felt good. "I don't like hitting people." I said.
Brendon laughed and opened my door for me. As I got in I closed my eyes again and tried to think of how to talk him out of taking Anne's life. She was all I had to live for there. Protecting her seemed to have become my mission.
"Babe? Baby?" Brendon's voice drifted in to my mind and I yawned, jerking awake upon his touch. "Whoa, easy there..." Brendon said, sounding amused.
I batted my eyelashes and looked around in horror to see that Brendon had a group of people behind him. So not how I wanted to meet people. "You let me fall asleep." I said, yawning between words.
Brendon laughed and extended his hand which I took to allow him to pull me up. "Everyone this is Juliette." Brendon said, holding on to my hand even though I was standing now.
Brendon gestured to each person, "Uhh, Ryan, Spencer, Jon... Amy, Lila, and... I'm sorry I haven't met you before." Brendon said to one girl.
"I'm Veronica!" The girl said cheerily.
I smiled at each person nervously, "Oh uh hi everyone." It had been awhile since I'd been around anyone other than Anne and Brendon. How long? I wasn't certain but it felt as if it had been forever.
I yawned again, trying to fight my sleepiness when a hard body crashed in to mine and I fell backwards landing on my ass. I cried out in pain from my bruised backside hitting the ground. The sound was something I found pathetic. "Fuck! Shit! I'm sorry! It was supposed to be a hug!" Someone said worriedly.
As I looked up one of the guys was being pulled away from me and shoved, "Dude, don't fucking touch her Jon." Brendon snapped.
I had tears in my eyes from the pain. Brendon leaned down, "Juliette, your back okay?" Brendon whispered.
I wiped my tears away and ignored his outstretched hand, getting myself off the ground. I would have to suck it up and play as if I were okay. "No... No, it's fine. Um, a hug... nice gesture Jon. I just- I don't have very good balance."
Jon blushed and stepped forward, holding his arms open. I nervously stepped towards him and his arms closed around me. It made me feel claustrophobic but at the same time it was so nice and so comforting... I simply melted in to his body, closing my eyes. Jon laughed, "Brendon, I think your girlyfriend is falling asleep on me over here." Jon joked.
Brendon stepped forward and I felt his arms wrap around my waist as I leaned back against him, away from Jon. "Gonna make it?" Brendon whispered, his breath tickling my ear.
Fuck, that made me want him. "Yeah." I said, grinning. "Sorry. Just got really warm. Warmth and sleepiness... don't mix."
Brendon nodded, "Well I'm here in case you need someone to hold you."
I could feel his jealousy towards the tiny hug I shared with Jon and it kind of scared me yet at the same time made me happy.
I was just as messed up as Brendon, just in a different way.