Then it clicked. He was blaming himself for the death of his wife and daughter.
Chapter Nine - Confessions
"L-Lexia? Is that you?" Her mother asked her.
Acid gave Bandit to Lypse once again and she wrapped her arms around her mother, who'd she had not seen for years.
"Baby, it's you." Her mother's arms were wrapped tightly around her daughter.
"It's me mom, it's me."
"I've missed you so much, Lexia. Where's Vaimey?"
Lexia and her mom dropped their hug and she looked at her mother.
"We got seperated in Battery City. It's a long story."
"Is she alive?"
"I think she is, she's good friends with Fire Starter and Bullet Burns' son, Avenger. She's pretty much with him twenty four seven, there's no way that Avenger would let anything happen to her."
"We'll find her, Lexia."
Lexia turned to her father and hugged him tightly, like she did with her mother.
When Bandit started crying she pulled away and took her out of Lypse's arms again.
"Ssh, it's okay, Bandy."
"Is this one of Sarah's kids?" Her father asked her. Then she realized that she'd have to tell her perant's that she was married and had a daughter.
"Actually, this is my daughter."
"Your daughter?" Her father asked.
"Yeah, my daughter. She's called Bandit, Bandit Lee Way."
"Why's her last name Way?"
"That's her father's last name and mine, we got married before I had her."
"Who is this idiot that got you pregnant?" Her father started to become over protective of his eldest daughter.
"Dad, it wasn't like that. He didn't get me pregnant then we got married. He proposed, I said yes and a few months later I found out that I was having Bandit, then when I was five months pregnant, we got married."
"He still got my daughter pregnant, who is he?"
"Killjoy name or real name?"
"Party Poison and Gerard Way."
"Party Poison as in the Fabulous Killjoys, that Party Poison?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I wish everyone would stop making such a big deal out of that! So what? I'm married to Party Poison? If I love him, which I do, does it matter if he's a Fabulous Killjoy?" She was getting sick of people asking her if she was married to the Party Poison, she wished that people would just see that she saw him as the man she loved. She loved the fact that he did what he thought was right by being a Fabulous Killjoy, but sometimes it annoyed her when they asked her if it was the Party Poison.
"Can I- Can I see her?" He asked his daughter.
She smiled a little. "Of course, grandpa." She teased.
He smiled at her and she gave him his first grandchild.
Bandit looked up at him with her big eyes, that she'd inherited from her father. Acid smiled at her daughter, she could tell that Bandit already had Acid's dad wrapped around her finger, she could also tell that Gerard wasn't off the hook with her dad yet. She knew that her father had strong opinions about having kids before they were married, getting pregnant was probably the same. She just wondered how he'd react when he saw Death again because of all her tattoos.
"She's beautiful, Lexia."
"I know she is."
"She looks like her mother."
"You haven't met her father yet, she looks a lot more like him than she does me. She has his eyes."
"That Gerard kid still isn't off the hook yet."
"He might not even be alive, dad. That's the hard part."
"If he is, then he'll have some explaining to do."
"He's not exactly a kid dad."
"How old is he?"
Acid knew that her dad also had a thing about age differences, even though he was two years older than his wife, she knew that if she told him that he was twenty four, then he'd freak out, but she told him anyway.
"Twenty four." She muttered.
"What?" He wished that his daughter didn't just say twenty four.
"He's twenty four, dad."
"Again, a lot of explaining to do."
"Where's Sarah and Leo?" Her mother asked, changing the subject.
Everyone was quiet.
"What happened?" Her mother asked.
"Sarah's dead. She died giving birth. Leo and the twins are still with her."
"What? No, Sarah can't be dead." She insisted.
"I'm sorry, mom, but she is. Sarah's gone."
Radio took deap breaths, she was about to tell Jet that she had cancer, but she was trying to think of exuses to delay telling him.
"Look, Radio, you're scaring me."
"You have to promise me you won't freak the fuck out like I did when I found out. I can't handle you freaking out over this aswell."
"Radio, just tell me." He begged. They were sitting down at one of the tables in the diner.
She took a deap breath. "I have cancer."
He paused. "What?"
"I have cancer. Look, I know-"
"You can't have cancer, Radio!"
"How long have you known?"
She couldn't look him in the eye when she told him, so she stared at her feet.
"A week? A fucking week? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Because I couldn't bring myself to tell you! I couldn't just walk up to you and say, 'Oh hey, I have cancer!'."
He sighed. "So where does this leave us?" He asked, trying to look calmer.
"What do you mean where does this leave us?"
"Are we still together? Do you still want me around?"
"Ray, this is probably the time I'm gonna need you more than ever. I'm dying, I need to know-"
"Don't say that. You're not dying, Jessey."
"Ray, I am. I have no form of medication that they had in Battery City. If we were still in Battery City, then this wouldn't matter, I'd have an injection and bam, the cancer would go away, but we're not in Battery City anymore. I'm dying, Ray."
He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. "I won't let you die. I promise. I love you, Jessey."
It was the first time he'd ever said he'd loved her. "I love you, too, Ray."
They just stood there for a few minutes, holding eachother and trying to convince themselves that they had all the time in the world to make things better for her. Jet refused to let her die, even if it was the last thing he'd do, he was determind that he'd find a way of making her healthy again.
Acid, Lypse, Vam, Chemycal, C-Bomb, Muder, Andi, Strike and Night went to see Death Barbie, even though they were a few hours late.
Acid's perants had insisted that they all went back to their hide-out when they were finished, so they agreed, even though they had no idea how they'd fit all of them in a small hide-out.
"You're late, Andi." Death barbie was around 5'8', she towered over Acid, she had dark brown hair that'd clearly been dyed, she was wearing extremely revealing clothes, it was a blue bikini top, a jacket that barely covered her arms, a thong and over the thong there was a mini-skirt that barely covered her ass.
"I know, I'm sorry, Barbie."
"Nevermind, you got the money, kid?"
"I got the money. After this, we're done . . . right?"
"Yeah, we are." Andi owed Barbie thousands of dollars, but she'd been gradually paying it off and this was her last payment.
It didn't take long for Death Barbie to realize that Andi had someone new with her.
"Who's this?" She asked, walking over to Acid.
"That's Acid Bullets, she's travelling with us until she finds the Fabulous Killjoys again."
"So, you're Party Poison's wife? Fuck, I didn't think he'd ever settle down, especially not with a fucking teenager."
Acid decided she didn't like Death Barbie.
"How do you even know Party Poison?"
"I used to date his brother, Acid."
Then she remembered her. Ehen they played truth or dare drunk, Jet'd mentioned that Death Barbie was going out with Kobra, but she tried to sleep with Poison, so Kobra broke up with her.
"So you're the girl who tried to sleep with my husband when you were with Kobra?"
She smiled wickedly. "Guilty's charged. I hear that Kobra knocked a girl up around a year ago, how's that working out for him?"
"He's actually married now, I guess it's a good thing he found someone who actually cares about him rather than a sank, like your self, who wanted to fuck his brother." She knew that they were only engaged, but she wanted to see if saying that Kobra was married would affect her badly.
"You telling me that when you saw Poison you didn't wanna fuck him?"
"No, I didn't, because I don't judge people on how they look, I like to get to know someone before I sleep with them."
"Poison knocked you up, right?"
"That's none of your fuckin' buisness."
"I'll take that as a yes."
As if on que, Bandit started crying. Lypse picked her up, he didn't want Acid to try and comfort her daughter because he was enjoying watching Acid and Barbie, he hated Barbie and he thought that it was funny that Acid was being a bitch back to her.
"That your little mistake from fucking Poison?"
"What did you just call my daughter?"
"You heard everything I just fuckin' said."
Acid slapped Death Barbie across the face. "Fine, keep being a bitch and keep fucking guys that mean absolutely nothing to you, but at the end of the day, I'm the girl who has a daughter and a husband she loves and you're the girl who's left feeling cheap and worthless after every meaningless fuck. Let's go, my perants are waiting." Acid didn't really enjoy being a bitch, but she couldn't resist being a bitch to Death Barbie after the way she'd talked about the people she loved, the main thing that pissed her off was what Barbie had called her daughter. That was when Acid really wanted to scratch her eyes out.
Acid took Bandit from Lypse again and they walked to where her perants were waiting for them.
Poison had his daily ruteen. Get up, eat, kill any near by Draculoids, pretend to be interested in a conversation with someone, eat again, go to bed and sleep. Ever since he'd lost Lexia and Bandit, he'd become lifeless. Kobra was worried about his brother, he knew that he was pretending to be okay, but really he was hurting more than anyone knew.
Poison was outside, lighting a cigerette when he thought about Lexia. It'd been a while since he'd smoked and he'd only recently just started smoking again, he knew that Lexia hated it because her grandma died of lung cancer, he knew that she was only worried about him, so he cut down until he stopped completely a few weeks before Bandit was born, but he needed a release, he needed to feel better.
"You okay, Poison?" Kobra asked his brother.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because you're smoking again, you haven't smoked since . . . " He didn't want to say before they died, he didn't know if it would trigger off any emotions.
"Since what? Since Lexia and Bandit died? You can say it, you know." He snapped.
Those two names had almost become forbiden around Poison, no one talked about them infront of him anymore.
"I'm worried, Gee."
"Why are you fuckin' worried?"
"Because ever since they died, you've been pretending that you're fine, that they didn't affect you, but it was your wife and daughter, it's okay to admit that you're hurting, that you miss them. I hate seeing you like this, Gee. I hate it."
Poison didn't reply to his brother, he just took another drag from his cigerette.
"I heard you, Mikes."
They were silent for a few minutes. Poison just stared at the horizon.
"You don't know what it's like to lose them. I loved her, Mikey. She was my wife and I loved her, so fucking much. Bandit was my baby, she was mine and Lexia's and no one else's. She was the only thing that only belonged to us and we both loved her more than life it's self. But they're gone now. I can't do anything about it. If I could trade my place with her and Bandit, I'd do it in a heart beat. If I could go back and take Bandit and Lexia out like I was supposed to, instead of praticing wit the band, then I would."
Then it clicked. He was blaming himself for the death of his wife and daughter. He wasn't supposed to be practicing with the band, he was suppsed to take them out, but he didn't because they wanted to practice for a show that they had coming up.
"You're blaming yourself for it, aren't you?"
"It is my fault. If I'd gone out with them, then they'd be alive right now. My wife would be alive, my daughter would be alive." He started to cry.
"It's not your fault, Gee. It's not your fault." His brother hugged him while he cried.
He'd been bottling his emotions up for too long, he needed to cry, he needed to let his emotions out.