Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Mamoru1 Reviews
"Dad, where's my mommy?" "My dear Naruto...mommy is sleeping somewhere and she will never wake up again." Naruto's lost his mother and his father...now he's lost his lover. Angst-fic, ONESHOT, Sasu...
Sasuke x Naruto
Dedicated to Tsunaide
When I was born, my mother died. Growing up, I was always questioning where I came from, who my mother was and all sorts of things a regular kid would ponder when they grew up without a mom. When I was young, I asked my father,
"Dad, where's my mommy?"
And all of a sudden, his bright, blue eyes were filled with tears and he hugged me tightly, whispering this:
"My dear Naruto...mommy is sleeping somewhere and she will never wake up again."
Holding onto his striking blonde hair with my tiny hands, I blinked in confusion as to why daddy was so sad and said, "But papa, where is she?"
My father was the village leader at the time. He was very kind and warm-hearted and I absolutely loved him. He would protect me from anything, whether it be a big scary dog or little Mrs. Kaguri-san down the road. If I tripped over and fell, he would clean the wound and put on a bandage for me and kiss it better. That would be if I tripped, which I rarely did because my father would protect me.
Then, when I turned four, my daddy went to sleep. I tried to wake him up, but he wouldn't. He wouldn't budge an inch. I started to cry and wail until the neighbours came over to complain. Then they saw what was wrong with me. I asked them why my daddy was still sleeping.
"Papa, are you pretending?" I mumbled softly, reaching out and prodding an icy cold cheek with my index finger. There was no response from him. "Papa?"
A light hand landed on my shoulder and I looked up into the smiling face of my pre-school teacher, Mr. Iruka. Umino Iruka was a kind-hearted man, if anything, possibly kinder than my own father and he played the role as a mother for me.
That smiling face...it was a smile, wasn't it? But why was Mr. Iruka crying? Reaching out, again, with tiny fingers that could barely reach the hem of his shirt, I begged for him to carry me. Sparing one glance at my father, who was still sleeping, Iruka quietly lifted me from my father's bed and balanced me on his hip.
"Mr. Iruka, why isn't papa waking up?" I asked with a confused expression on my face. Mr. Iruka didn't answer for a moment. He was staring at daddy for a long time with a frown on his face. Then he reached out and placed two fingers on my daddy's neck. I remember seeing his eyes widening and, in his panic, nearly dropped me. I was so scared as to why my teacher looked so frightened.
"What happened, Naruto? Why...what?"
I shook my head in confusion, still trying to piece together what was happening. The entire situation was confusing even me and I couldn't find the words to string one, sensible sentence with my basic vocabulary at the time.
"I don't know, Mr. Iruka. Daddy said that he'll take me to the park today...but he's not waking up...and if papa doesn't wake up then how will he take me to the park?" I asked, my big, blue eyes looking into his dark, brown ones. I could see his eyes soften and he kissed my forehead before setting me down beside the bed. He kneeled down to my height and brushed the blonde fringe away from my chubby, whiskered face.
"I'm going to call some nice people to pick up your papa okay?" Iruka smiled sweetly to me, reaching for my papa's bedside phone. In his rush to come over, Mr. Iruka had forgotten his own mobile. After a moment, he finished his call and put the phone down. "Are you okay?"
"Why's daddy still sleeping? Can we yell?" I asked, my blue eyes brightening hopefully. My teacher gazed at me sadly for a moment, hot tears prickling his russet eyes. "Mr. Iruka, you can cry, okay?"
"Poor child..." he cried softly, bringing me to his chest. I was surprised at this, but returned the friendly hug nevertheless. Mr. Iruka began to cry, like I told him to. Two twin trails of tears wet his cheeks and ran down his face, collecting in his mouth and chin. "Don't yell..."
"But why is daddy sleeping? We've been so loud!" I grumbled angrily, starting at my father who was beginning to tinge a bit blue. His eyes were shut and his big hands were resting over his stomach, tucked over his fuzzy brown blanket. Mr. Iruka turned my head away from my father and brushed my blonde hair away from my face, patting my cheeks lightly.
"Naruto...your papa is tired. He's sleeping but he won't..."
"He won't what, Mr. Iruka?"
Mr. Iruka took a deep breath and he picked me up, leading me away from my papa and shutting the door behind us as we went. The door echoed in my ears. Boom...boom...boom...
Then there was a soft click of the door shutting to a tight close.
"He won't wake up anymore..."
When I was young, my father died. I remember hearing wailing sirens, as loud as me coming from far away. Soon it got louder and louder and then it stopped. There were blue and red lights flashing through the curtains of the living room and Mr. Iruka opened the door. I wanted to tell him that we shouldn't talk to strangers but he shushed me and made me sit quietly in a chair, like we did in class.
They were whispering to each other, like the girls in my class that shared whispered secrets. The two men in white cloaks looked at me sympathetically before nodding and trudging upstairs to my father's room.
"Wait! Where are you going? That's my papa's room! You're not allowed in there!" I shouted, rushing up after them and blocking them from entering my daddy's bedroom. They exchanged glances before asking for Mr. Iruka to help. He shook his head at me and picked me up, letting the other two men inside papa's room.
"No! You can't go in! Let me goooooooo! Mr. Iruuuuukaaaaaa!!"
I was kicking and screaming, shouting and wailing. Screeching in a desperate plead for them to let me go. But none of my wishes came true. Mr. Iruka held me tighter and pulled me back as the two men left the room with a stretcher between them, covered by a big, white sheet. They closed the door behind them as they went and I caught a short glimpse of the room before it shut. Papa wasn't on the bed anymore. I saw a tuft of blonde spikes from under the white blanket and I knew it was papa. But I couldn't say anything. Mr. Iruka was rocking me back and forth, telling me it would be okay and that he would take me to the park tomorrow.
But it wasn't okay.
"I want papa to take me to the park..."
Now I am older, at the age of eighteen. There's not much I can do about my memories, or rather, lack of them. Eventually, I had forgotten everything about my mother's death at birth and my father's silent passing on overnight. I was moved out of my home and given a place to stay with Mr. Iruka, who had decided to move with me to a new home somewhere further from where papa had died.
I am now the leader of the village. Like my father, I eventually became what was known as Rokudaime Hokage of Konohagakure. Turning stiffly in my red and white robes, I met my foster father and guardian, Umino Iruka, kneeling before me.
"Hai, Iruka. You know you can call me Naru-chan, still," I grumbled, still not accustoming to the fact that my guardian could easily call me by that title now. He shook his head and laughed as he stood up straight with a grin on his face.
"You know how proud I am of you. You deserve to be called Naruto-sama," he grinned, coming closer and engulfing me in a tight hug. I returned the hug and grin and pulled back slightly, looking around the room for his partner.
"Ne, Iruka, where's Kakashi?" I asked, looking around the room for my other foster father. Iruka was married to Kakashi. Yes, they were gay and yes, I was proud of them for being who they are. Iruka smiled sweetly and pulled out a scroll from his one of his many green, flack vest pockets.
"He just helped me finish up this report from our mission in Suna. I know you yourself wanted to go, but you were busy with the Sound, were you not?" Iruka asked slyly, raising an eyebrow at me. Colouring a tint of red, I turned away and spluttered incoherent words under my breath.
"N-no! I was...doing some filing."
"I see," was the short reply. Glancing at my guardian staring out the window, I narrowed my eyes as I studied his worried expression.
"Iruka, what's wrong?"
He looked at me in a surprised manner, jumpy from my interruption of his now crashed thought train. He coloured slightly and nervously brushed a few strands of dark brown hair away from his tanned skin.
"N-nothing's wrong," he stuttered, covering up his stutter with a laugh, a nervous one at that. Standing up from my seat, I took a turn about the circular room and stopped behind him.
"Something is wrong. Tell," I demanded curtly.
"That wasn't a request, Iruka. It's an order."
He shot me a slight glare before sighing, turning away from the wonderful view. He opened his mouth to say something, before shutting it and walking around the room as I had done just moments before. Occasionally he would stop and try to say something but nothing ever came out. Eventually, he began pacing nervously and then I interrupted him with a sharp shout.
"Iruka! For God's sake you're making me nervous! And you're wearing away my precious Persian rug as well!"
Iruka swallowed before gesturing for me to sit down beside him on the white couch to the side. Grasping my hand in his, a dirty thought flitted across my mind for a moment before Iruka began to speak.
"Na-Naruto...I'm sure you know the entire story about your...you know...your father's death."
Blinking, I nodded slowly, wondering why he was suddenly bringing this up. Had he ever heard of my nightmares during my childhood? Perhaps that was it...but why now, of all times, when the subject had been buried away for so long?
"It suddenly occurred to me, when you told me that you were doing some file work that perhaps you were subconsciously looking for data in regards to your father and unintentionally happened to read it, correct?"
Damn. He shot me down in an instant. He could practically read me like a book! Was my guilty face that obvious?
An awkward pause stretched out between us for a few minutes as Iruka began to drum his fingers nervously and I began to pace about the room.
How could he have known so easily? Should I have lied and said that I went to the Sound? No, no...with the turmoil occurring on the outskirts of the Fire Country, it's quite easy for him to know that I was telling a lie. I can't just leave my country unaided!
"Naruto, you'll ruin that precious Persian rug of yours..." Iruka began and I turned to him sharply, stomping my foot on the floor.
"Why are you bringing this up all of a sudden? Why are you...?"
His eyes, always kind and warm suddenly pierced me coldly. Those eyes looked at me so fiercely, as if all those years of patience and frustration, bottled up within him...would suddenly blow. He stood up instantly, as if an uproar was just waiting, screaming to be released.
And then he just sighed, and that fierce look vanished. I stopped trembling and managed to get myself to look him in the eyes again.
"Have you ever heard the saying, 'Protect your loved ones'?" he asked softly, allowing himself to sit back onto the couch. He looked up at me and I, down at him. Nodding, he took it as a sign to continue. "Your father was the one who told the village that. Ever since then, many people have been living by that philosophy as if it were their law. Your father was very respected and amiable, Naruto."
"I'm not finished."
I remained quiet as Iruka covered his face with the palms of his hands and resumed his vexing explanation.
"Do you remember, once when you were young, me telling you that your father...was sleeping and that he would never wake up?"
I didn't know whether to be furious or surprised or whatever! I remained impassive, my curiosity taking the better of me and allowing me to listen to him.
"Your father had a problem. He knew that his time was coming soon, despite him being so young. He told me that he wanted me to be your guardian when he died. And he wanted me to protect you like he had done himself. He told me that when he would pass on, that I should not tell you that he died, but rather that he was still sleeping and would never wake up."
Silence met both our ears as everything Iruka had explained to me finally rang clear like a bell.
"Even after he died, he was still trying to protect you, Naruto..."
I suddenly felt cold. And then hot. And then furious. Why had he not told me before? Why was everything kept in secrecy from me? Why?
I told him exactly what went through my mind in my bouts of anger and he shouted back, telling me, "This is exactly WHY I kept it a secret from you!"
I stopped yelling and realized immediately how immature I was acting. Silencing myself after apologizing, I returned to my desk at the opposite end of the room. He's still protecting me. Still...
The door burst open, causing the silent room to be met with surprise. Kakashi, Iruka's lover and husband, burst through the door in panic. We instantly knew that the situation must have been horrible, since the usually stoic Kakashi was so...flurried and alarmed.
"Hokage-sama! It's urgent!"
"What's so urgent that you had to interrupt my father and I?" I asked my other father dryly. He stared at me for a moment and I saw his jaw tighten in anger before he erupted.
"You didn't meet Sasuke in the Sound like you had organized! Because he had told his guards to wait in the Sound Village, he was attacked alone! SO GET YOUR ASS OVER TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!"
My eyes widened in shock as I threw off my hat, performed a quick jutsu with short hand-signs and disappeared in a poof of dark chakra smoke.
Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke.
He was my crush and biggest rival. He was my best friend and worst enemy. He was my ally and opposition. He was the source of my greatest hatred...yet from that hatred leaked a ray of liking. And then that liking grew and morphed into lust at one point in time. When the two of us had found a mutual lust for each other in the midst of our teenage experimentation, love was somehow produced from the complex equation.
I arrived at the hospital in a matter of seconds and, upon my entrance, I was told the room number and rushed straight to his side.
Sasuke, hang in tight, you fucking bastard! You better not die out on me!
My legs were protesting from the run up the stairs. I didn't take the elevator because I felt that just standing and waiting for the level to arrive would make me collapse in spasms whilst Sasuke was hanging on the brink of life and death.
Finally, I had arrived at his room. A candy haired girl exited the room, her emerald eyes watering with tears as she stared at me before whispering 'Gomen...' and quickly running away.
Gomen...? What did...she mean? Was Sasuke...already...?
I kicked open the door in my fury, yelling for the doctors to let me go.
"Sasuke!" I shouted, withering and squirming against their tight grasps. Damn, they had a pretty tight grip. I kicked one of them in the shins and elbowed the second in the face before running to the collection of hi-tech machines that Sasuke was wired to. "Sasuke-teme!"
"Hokage-sama, please! Remain quiet! The patient is-"
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
"But we need to keep an eye of the pati-"
"I'M ORDERING YOU TO GET OUT!"
The doctor's were torn between staying and possibly saving the life of Uchiha Sasuke, or leaving the room and obeying their leader. My eyes burned red and they swallowed in fear before scampering out of the room. Pulling up my sleeves, I took a deep breath and summoned chakra to my hands, hovering above Sasuke and his wounds.
I could practically hear the voices of everyone as I ran upstairs, collecting bits and pieces of information as I went.
Hokage wasn't there to help...
...left him alone there...
...no guards...poor man...
...beaten to near death...
...found by ANBU and brought here...
Sasuke was beaten practically to death by his older brother. Shit! How could I have let this happen? How? Why the hell was I so caught up in my selfishness to find out about my father...? I had let my conscience rule me and stayed behind instead. But how was I to know that he would not bring his guards with him? What was he expecting from me anyway? A good snog? More sex perhaps? Shaking my head, I emptied the horrible thoughts out and continued in my attempts to heal him. Why wasn't it working?
"Where the fuck is Tsunade when you need her?!" I hissed under my breath as I exerted more chakra through me to my lover. If Sasuke had brought guards with him, they could have fought Akatsuki off and bought Sasuke some time for escape! But no! He just had to...argh! I could sense people standing at the door and recognized the chakra signature of Iruka and Kakashi. I could feel their emotions, sadness, anxiety, perhaps even anger that I wasn't leaving this to the doctors. But they couldn't do this as I had been taught by Tsunade. After all, being Hokage required some extensive knowledge about medicine and healing. But...
I thought back to my ex-teammate as she left Sasuke's room. She looked at me tearfully and whispered, 'gomen'. Gomen...did she mean that...
That there was no hope of rescuing Sasuke from dying? Was their really no hope in giving him a chance of survival?
"You bastard...you're being weak! Wake up! WAKE THE FUCK UP!" I shouted, forcing more chakra into his body. Weakly, obsidian eyes flickered open and stared at me in mild shock. Soft lips moved in a raspy whisper and I leaned closer, still channelling chakra into Sasuke's body.
I saw my vision blur as hot tears prickled my eyes, threatening my manliness with an onslaught of tears. I buried my head into Sasuke's chest, wiping my eyes on his bloodied clothes.
"I'm so sorry, Sasuke...why...why did I leave you there?"
I continued to blame myself until at last, Sasuke's very last breath was used up with his final words:
"Ashiteru, Naruto. I'll still protect you, forever."
The heart monitor let out a shrill beep, flat and unmoving. No...
"I don't want your fucking protection! I want you here with me, you bastard!" I shouted, clutching onto the front of his shirt. Hokage's aren't meant to show weakness, right? "I can protect myself! I'm the Hokage! I should be protecting you! Sasuke!"
There was a murmur of shock as I collapsed mutely atop my dead lover. Dead. He is dead. Not sleeping. Dead. Not sleeping...not...
When I was finally happy, my lover died.
I let out the tears that I had been keeping in, wetting the gradually freezing skin of my dead lover. I don't want him to be dead. I want him to be alive. If he's sleeping, then he's still alive...right? I can at least...believe that...
A heavy hand landed on my shoulder and I knew, by the feel of dÃ©jÃ vu, the situation which had been repeated once again in my lifetime, that the person was Iruka.
"Naruto...I won't protect you, if you don't want me to."
"No...please, Iruka...tell me....tell me that Sasuke's not dead...please tell me anything...please!" I begged him desperately. I was pulled away as a white sheet covered Sasuke's corpse and the hospital bed was wheeled away, it's creaking wheels in desperate need of oiling. But I didn't care about that. I only wanted to hear Iruka's words to me:
"Sasuke's not dead. He's just sleeping...and he'll never wake up again."