David has been in love with Pierre for many years but no one can now. After a party everything changes.
There I sat, in the back of the tour bus, watching... no… staring at my best friend, the lead singer of our band, and one of the most beautiful creatures on planet earth.
Yes I had a huge crush on him.
No, he can NOT know. No one can.
If the guys knew I was gay they would kick me out of the band.
I’m the most pathetic person alive.
‘Dave… davey… DAVID WAKE UP!!!’ I got kicked out of my thoughts by someone yelling my name. it was Jeff, our guitar player.
‘sorry, was daydreaming’ I said laughing. I always try to laugh everything of me. Doesn’t work with my biggest problem though. When I smiled, he smiled. I don’t know why, he just did, and it was making me crazy.
‘Dreaming about your secret girlfriend again?’ Chuck, our drummer laughed and he poked Pierre, who didn’t laugh.
Yeah, Pierre was the guy.
The guy I’ve fell in love with the first time I saw him.
The guy who give me butterflies just by looking at me
The guy with the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard
The guy I’ve mentally undressed thousands of time.
The guy that… yeah I think you’ve got it by now.
‘sure sure’ I shrugged the comment of with a smile. No, they can NEVER know.
During this little joking conversation Sebastien, our other guitarist was abnormally quiet. He’s never quiet. That’s why it was so damn shocking. After a while he just stood up and walked towards to me. He bend down and whispered something in my ear. ‘I know’ he just said and walked out of the tourbus. Leaving me shocked. The others just looked crazy at him.
‘what was that about’ Pierre asked me
‘donno’ I replied and walked outside where Seb was standing.
‘Dude what was that about?’ I asked him. He turned around to face me and looked way to self-confident.
‘As I said, I know. I know about your secret. You’re good at hiding it, but you can’t fool me anymore. Come on David, why didn’t you just tell me. I’ve known you for all my life. you know you can trust me.’
I felt a tear coming up in the corner of my left eye. He was right. But also so wrong. Im can see it in his attitude. He already hates me. And I haven’t said anything yet.
‘I… I couldn’t. You would hate me. You already do! I can see it in your eyes’ I started to cry. This is why I didn’t want to tell. It hurts to much facing the truth.
Seb walked over and hugged me. Was he talking about something else. Did I gave away to much. Why would he hug me if he really knew. Why would he comfort a pathetic fag like me.
‘I could never hate you for that. It doesn’t matter to me, or the other guys. I don’t give a shit whether you like guys or girls’ he knew… he actually knew it. ‘I think you should tell the others, so there won’t be any jokes of secret girlfriends again.’ He laughed while I still had my head against his chest, and I laughed with him.
Maybe he was right. I’ve been hiding this for a couple years now. With Seb knowing, it would make it a lot easier to tell the rest. At least one person got my back that way.
‘you’re right’ I said after a while. ‘I’ll tell them later’ I said, though a bit hesitating.
‘do it when you’re ready’ Seb said while letting go of the hug to look me in the eyes.
‘but maybe… maybe you should tell Pierre first’ he let go of my shoulders, winked and walked back to the bus.
And with that he left me standing in the cold outside…