Benji takes a few minutes to think about what people have to say about his relationship with Joel.
I don’t see anything wrong with being in love with your sibling when they’re the one that has been there for you throughout all the bull in your life. Twincest. That’s the name of my so-called “sin.” I shake my head as I think all of this through, wondering what is so bad about following your heart. It’s not like I can control my heart and how it makes me feel. If that were the case, I’d snap my fingers and no longer love him.
I’ve told a couple people, mainly those in the band and surrounding bands, and they say I’m in love with myself and that’s why I love him, because we look so much alike to each other. They think I love my brother because I love my own looks. I wish I liked how I look. I know we have some identical features, but he is the one blessed by God with the better looks.
He’s got this soft, innocent face and innocent eyes. I chuckle as I realize that between us, he’s the pussy when it comes to tattoos and piercings. He may not be lacking tattoos period, he does have his share of them, but I don’t think he’ll ever be as covered as I am. There are only a few places that I’m not “mutilated” in, but I keep those to myself to leave minds wandering. But Joel… you can see all of his when he’s wearing shorts and a wife beater.
I’m not jealous of him, but I do find myself afraid of him… Afraid he’ll end up embarrassed of my looks and me someday and just say, “fuck it,” and walk away from me. I honestly love him for his personality and his big heart. I would never hurt him and I would hope for the same.
When I hear the door open, I close the book I’m writing in and lean my head to the side as Joel walks over to me and kisses my cheek.
“I’m heading upstairs, okay babe?” He says and winks at me as he runs up the stairs.
The sound of his shoes hitting the stairs echo in my ears as I open my journal again and continue writing. I smile as I end my entry about my walk through the park with Ca$hdogg and the fans that recognized me, then closed my book.
Now that I think more about what people think is “wrong,” all I have to say is “fuck off,” because I’m tired of listening to what others have to say about my life. I’m the one living it, not them, so I’m not going to let them choose what I do with my life…
[Author's Note: I like the way I did this one, I really do... I think the way I worded things in general was good as well. And I know it's pretty short, but I wrote this as a request for a person that requested I keep it short. Lemme know what yall think =) It was written back in 2006 and was posted on www.gcfanfics.com until now.]