Frank has a funny little fetish that takes a toll on his and Gerard's relationship.
Confessions of A Dacryphiliac
The first time was back when he was with Eliza.
It was towards the end of their relationship. Gerard had come in to the bus after everyone else had already retired to their bunk beds for slumber. He crept quietly, not bothering to turn on the lights.
This was a bad decision -- items scattered all over the place announced his arrival instead, and Frank Iero just happened to be a light sleeper.
Seeing Gerard trying to sneak in like a teenage girl coming home after curfew amused Frank, and he knew what would be even more amusing would be his reaction to being caught in the act.
And so, Frank did a bit of creeping of his own out of his bed. He tip toed to the doorway, and stealthily went for the light switch that would brighten the main area of the bus.
He flipped it, and the area became illuminated.
Frank took a few steps back.
He had expected to reveal a blushing Gerard, just coming back from his date with Eliza. He had anticipated a Gerard who perhaps had a few hickeys spotting his neck, the area of his mouth and cheeks speckled with smeared lipstick. He was prepared for him to perhaps even smell of her perfume, or to be adorning one of her girlish items of clothing.
What he got instead was a Gerard covered in nothing but tears, in addition to his own tattered show clothes. His facial skin glistened in the light, and his cheeks were flushed --- but it was clearly not from romance or even abashment. It was the flush of someone who had just come down from sobbing for a very long time.
This Gerard was looking at him with an equally stunned expression, and neither man moved for some time. After a few moments, Gerard seemed to get the idea that Frank was going to do nothing but stand there and stare. The flush on his cheeks seemed to redden, and he began to continue forward, intending to walk past Frank without uttering a single word.
Once Frank saw this, he made a grab for his friend. He seized him by both shoulders, swinging him back in front of him.
"What?" Gerard hissed so venomously, Frank almost relinquished his hands from its grip.
He ignored the angry tone, and the begrudging glare Gerard was putting him under. He could see his friend was wounded, and so he wanted to help.
"What's wrong, Gee?" he asked gently, so softly that it was nearly not heard.
"No, you're not. Tell me."
"Gerard --- what's wrong?"
Frank could tell he was breaking. The rims of his eyes were sprouting new moisture, like rain collecting on a windowsill about to spill over. Frank was not sure why, nor would he have ever admitted it at the time --- but there was something beautiful about the glistening beads that Gerard tried so desperately to hide.
"She cheated again." he finally said in a voice that was screaming the sound of defeat, if not but in a raspy whisper. "I thought... I thought she had stopped."
Frank sighed. He was not surprised in the least, but he tried to grimace anyway -- for Gerard's sake. He then pulled him into a small hug, where Gerard let the tears fall more freely into the nook of Frank's neck. Frank felt the wetness slide down to his back, passing under his shirt.
"Shhh... its okay. Come here."
Frank led him over to the bus couch, seating him down on the leather cushions. Frank drew Gerard closer to him, and placed a hand over Gerard’s back so that he might rub it while he cried. It was here when Gerard began to openly sob, and Frank felt slightly befuddled. Eliza had cheated before, and he was not sure why his friend was taking it so hard this time.
He nearly opened his mouth to express this, but closed it again, deciding it might sound insensitive to imply that Gerard was overreacting. He then contemplated simply expressing his own words of anger towards Eliza, but he knew it would just be a replay of things Gerard had heard before. He knew exactly how much Frank hated Eliza, although Frank thought that hatred might have gone up a little bit within the past few minutes.
He still wanted to say something. But he could think of nothing to say. So, he did something else.
Frank backed away slightly and held Gerard’s soaked faced apart from him. The squeaky, pained sound of his sobs stirred a strong emotion inside Frank.
He was not sure why he did it, but the impulse to do so exploded in him when he saw a lone tear streak down Gerard’s right cheek, dwelling momentarily on his chin before landing on his hand. Frank leaned forward and kissed Gerard, the taste of salt and agony filling his mouth and hugging his tongue.
He was surprised to feel Gerard kissing back. And for the entirety of their lip lock, Frank used his hands to caress Gerard’s face --- rubbing the tears like a soothing lotion for a broken heart.
Gerard began to grip him by his shirt, gathering the fabric in fistfuls. In time, Frank would realize that Gerard was less into the sexual nature of the moment and more into seeking any source of comfort he could find at the time, and that made sense.
What did not make sense is why Frank was enjoying it so much. It was his turn to blush as he felt his own pelvic area stirring, and he quickly moved a shirt that had been left on the cushions over his crotch to cover the tent that was beginning to pitch.
Gerard hadn’t noticed. Frank wondered what he would have thought if he had.
The second time was during the peak of the “stage sex” phase.
They were two grown men, both on the way to making big commitments to two beautiful girls --- and both were having a very hard time letting go of the other. So in the dead of the night, when they thought no one would notice, they would either sneak off to a motel if they could, or sneak into the bus bathroom. They would make love as quickly as possible, and sneak back to their beds with sly grins on their faces.
For the most of the era, the routine was followed --- except for one particular night.
They had rented a motel, a dingy place that was the very definition of “hole in the wall”. It was 4 AM – the bus was down the street, the other boys all at another gathering. Frank was drunk.
“I want to try it without lube this time.”
“What?” Gerard looked at him incredulously, unsure if he heard him right.
“No lube.” Frank grinned as he began to remove Gerard’s pants, revealing a bright blue pair of underwear. Gerard was already sprawled out on the bed, while Frank stood before him with a frighteningly dominant air about him.
“Frankie…” Gerard hesitated, knowing full well it was best not to disagree with Frank when he was drunk. “..that would hurt. A lot.”
Frank leaned down, and brought himself so that he was on all fours over Gerard. He kissed Gerard tenderly before he smiled hazily and said, “…that’s the point.”
Gerard’s eyes went wide. His body tensed, and he began to prop himself up by his elbows.
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea tonight…”
“I don’t see why not.”
“The guys could be back at any minute, they’ll wonder where we are.”
“They won’t care. They never care.”
“I don’t feel well.”
“You were just fine a second ago.”
“Frankie, I’m just not in the mood…”
“Lie back down.”
“Lie back down, Gerard.”
“LIE THE FUCK DOWN!”
Gerard hit the mattress with what he felt was a hard impact, despite having only been a few inches away from it. His heart thumping in his chest, he looked to his sides to see that Frank had pinned him by the shoulders. His gaze elevated upward, and Frank’s chest heaved with drastic motion. Finally, he looked to his face with fear – and Frank looked back with menace.
Scared as he was, Gerard tried one more time. “I really don’t want to do this, Frankie.”
Frank’s response was one with simple finality: “It wasn’t a question, Gerard.”
Gerard’s head spun as Frank flipped him on his stomach. He buried his face in his pillows, bracing his entire body. A part of him thought maybe it would not be so bad --- part of him still trusted Frank, having faith that he would never make Gerard do anything that he knew would be bad or terrible.
Sadly -- he was wrong.
Frank inserted himself inside Gerard without warning, and the dry ramming of such a large object against the walls of Gerard’s dry anus was more painful than he could have ever imagined. Gerard screamed, sure that his cries of both terror and agony would stop Frank – but Frank went on as though he had not heard a thing.
Frank was not interested in Gerard’s screams. He wanted something else.
He continued his plummeting. In, and out. In, and out. Gerard twitched around, naked on the mattress, feeling as though Frank’s cock was actually going to rip apart his entire abdominal area, starting with the rectum. His only other thought being: why?
Unbeknownst to him, Frank was delivering as much pain as quickly as possible simply because he wanted to reach his goal as quickly as possible. He was trying to do Gerard a favor by hurrying it up. For you see, it was not necessarily that he was enjoying hurting Gerard, but he was after what the result of that hurt would be.
And finally, a small hiccup. A little squeak from the depths of the dirty motel blankets.
Frank had to twist himself to see. He smoothed back Gerard’s hair with his hands, and the tips of his fingers became instantly wet.
There it was -- the delicious elixir of sorrows, the wine of the sadists. He brought it to his lips, sniffed it a little, and then licked his fingers clean of the stuff. The taste of salt and broken trust painted the walls of his mouth.
Frank began to thrust into Gerard harder, as though he was trying to pump out even more. He could measure his success by the stain of liquid that Gerard was leaving on the sheets. He was so focused on this beautiful, glistening clear fluid that he never did notice the dark red one that was pouring out of Gerard’s bottom and becoming imprinted on his own skin.
Frank was too hypnotized by the beautiful song of Gerard’s sobs.
The third time was during the beginning of the Danger Days tour.
It is needless to say that Gerard and Frank broke off their relations shortly after the previous incident. Frank had apologized to Gerard many times since, and Gerard had no response to any of them. He did, however surprisingly, keep the secret -- when Ray asked why he was walking funny the next morning, Gerard told them all he fell and bruised his tailbone. Nothing more was ever brought up in regards to the strange way Gerard walked for the next week. Frank was relieved, but he could not deny his guilt.
He did not want to hurt Gerard. He just wanted what came from the hurt.
Still, he knew he could not risk another stunt like what he had pulled. Not if he wanted to keep his job. While Gerard insisted that he had no ownership over the band, everyone, as well as Gerard himself, knew that was not entirely true. If there was anybody who controls who stays and who goes in My Chemical Romance -- it was Gerard Way.
So, Frank tried the next best thing.
He employed someone else to do it for him.
Frank, Mikey, Ray, and Pedicone were walking back to the bus from the movie theater. It was cold outside, and they were all rushing to get back to the warmth of their mobile shelter. Gerard had not come with them.
Frank had made sure of that
Finally, the golden lights of the bus shone brightly through the smoggy street air ahead of them. Mikey, Ray, and Pedicone were all talking about the television series Stargate SG1. Frank was silent, his anticipation restless and his heart pounding.
Mikey was the one to open the bus door, and the first one who stepped through. He screamed.
Ray, Frank, and Pedicone could only hear scrambling footsteps for a moment as Mikey frantically ran to his brother. The door was only wide enough so that people had to come in single file. Ray went in next, then Pedicone, then Frank.
“What the fuck happened?” Ray gaped at the scene before them.
Gerard was screaming. He was on the ground. His legs were twisted in very strange angles. His face was swollen. Mikey concealed Gerard’s hands as he lifted him into his own arms. The rest of the bus around them was untouched.
Yet out of all of this, Frank only heard the soft sound of hiccups and whimpers. The sound of crying filled the bus, and even Mikey’s own sobs mingled in with the harmony.
Was it drastic? Perhaps.
But Frank could have never been guaranteed Gerard’s tears by means of anything else except sheer, blinding pain. He felt Gerard’s cellphone in his pocket, the one he had stolen so he could not call for help. Not yet.
He wanted to savor this first.
Mikey finally relinquished Gerard after Ray convinced him that he had to be taken to a hospital. Gerard briefly recounted that a man who he had never seen before came in and had just commenced beating him relentlessly. They talked of filing a police report as well.
Amidst all the chaos, Frank did get his own chance to hold Gerard. Even with his face purple and brutalized, the tears managed to glisten the way they did on the first night that Frank realized his “little fascination.” He used a hand to gently wipe them from Gerard’s eyes, taking a lick when he wasn’t looking.
“Hey Geezy. You’ll be okay…” Frank muttered to him, rubbing his shoulder.
“It hurts so fucking much, Frank...” whined Gerard, who was looking everywhere but his legs.
“I know sweetie, I know.” Frank cooed at him, and lifted Gerard so that he cradled him somewhat. “Your shaking…”, he commented under his breath.
“I’m scared…” Gerard whispered after a long pause, and his terror was apparent in his eyes.
“Well don’t be. I won’t leave your side anymore… not for a second.” Frank smiled at him, although he was not entirely sure Gerard even heard him. At least, until Gerard reached up and grabbed a fistful of Frank’s shirt – just like he used to.
His grin grew wider; Frank was regaining his place as Gerard’s comforter once more.