"How could I forget...it never ended?"
My eyes flutter open and I look up at my doctor. For a few minutes I am very confused. It takes a second for me register what happened and figure out where I am.
“Dr. Henderson,” I say.
He smiles faintly, “How are you feeling?”
“I don’t know…confused. What’s going on?”
“You’re in the hospital.”
“I gathered that.”
“You’re doing fine. A little achy I’m assuming. Probably not breathing very well but you’re going to be just fine.”
“Where’s my baby?” I ask. He has to be alright. All the pain I went through will be worth it as long as James is alright.
“With his dad,” answers Dr. Henderson. “He’s doing well too.”
I smile, “I had a boy?”
“Yeah, you had a boy. He’s a little early so he needs lots of attention but he’ll be fine.”
I begin to tear up. We’d made it. All of us are safe and going to be okay. I have a family now, “When did I have him?”
“When they brought you in, your heart and lungs gave out at home. Frank called 911. They kept you alive long enough to save the baby. They turned you over to me and I fixed the problem. You’ll be in recovery for a while and breast feeding isn’t an option due to the medication. We expect you’ll be fit to go home within a few weeks. Your little guy seems healthy for his age. His lungs are a bit under developed so he squeaks instead of cries. There’s a possibility that he might develop asthma later in life. For the moment his breathing is exemplary, his heart is just fine and he’s taken a liking to his father.”
I smile. I knew Frank would make an excellent dad. I’m so glad James has him.
“How old is he?” I ask.
“Almost a day old, he was born at eleven forty two. So in a few hours he’ll be officially one day old.”
“Can I see him?”
“Of course, Frank?”
Frank walks over to me. I can’t help but let a few tears of happiness fall down my cheeks. Taking a shaky breath I take Frank’s hand and admire our son. He’s got Frank’s nose.
“Hey,” Frank says.
I smile, “Hi.”
“Would you like to hold your son,” Frank asks.
The doctor helps get me seated against the bed and puts some pillows under my arms. I’m too weak to hold my son without help. At least I’m alive to see him, to hold him. Frank lays the baby down in my arms, before sitting down at the end of my bed. I gently run my finger tips over my sleeping son’s face. He yawns then goes silent.
“He has your nose,” I announce.
Frank puts his hand on James’ small head, pulling off the beanie. This reveals a head full of black, fluffy hair.
“Has my hair too.”
I laugh softly, running my fingers over his head. He’s absolutely perfect.”
"I’m pretty positive those are your eyes,” Frank says with a smile. He’d wanted the baby to have my eyes.
“He’s beautiful,” I answer before looking over to Dr. Henderson. I owe James’ life and my life to him. Without his help we wouldn’t be here right now. “Thank you, Dr. Henderson, for making this possible.”
“Just because one doctor tells you something is impossible doesn’t mean the rest of us will,” he says. “I told you I would do everything I could to make it happen.”
I sniff as more tears run down my face, “I don’t know what we can ever do to repay you. You gave me and my son life.”
“Just be good parents. That’s all I ask, maybe an autograph for my daughter. She’s a fan of Pencey Prep.”
Frank laughs, squeezing my hand, “Consider it done.”
“I’ll let you guys have some alone time. Amber, if you need anything just press the button.”
I just nod, my eyes set on my sleeping son.
“How are you feeling?” Frank asks.
I sniff, keeping a smile on my face. I’m tired and weak and I hurt, “Elated.”
“That’s the word I was looking for. When they told me you were both going to be okay it was like I learned to breathe again. It was like I was waiting for a death sentence.”
I laugh softly and let my finger’s play through Frank’s hair. I can’t imagine the panic and stress he was going through.
“We did it, Frank. We made it. We’re a family now.”
He smiles at me, pinching my chin, “We’ve always been a family babe and we always will be. As soon as you get the okay from your doctors we’ll get married in a big fancy church. We can finally get that house we’ve been saving for.”
I smile, “I’m so fucking happy, Frank. We’ve been through so much together but it was all worth it…every moment.”
“Please let me kiss you, Amber. If I don’t kiss you in the next five seconds I’ll explode.”
His fidgety childlike manor makes me laugh, “Just kiss me, you don’t have to ask.”
Frank smiles but doesn’t hesitate. He just presses his lips against mine. Although I’m tired and weak I kiss him back with as much passion as I can. This could possibly be my favorite kiss. Even better than the first one, even better than when Frank said he loved me, even better than the engagement kiss. I like this one the best because this is the one I had to fight for. This is the one that says we are a family. This is Frank letting me know he’s glad he doesn’t have to live without me and me telling him I’m glad he doesn’t have to.
After a minute Frank pulls away, taking my face in his hands, “Do you remember the forever night?”
I smile, “How could I forget…it never ended.”
Note: See happiness :)