I'm so stiff and sore, Massage me? Because you're definately to sexy!~ -I hate my reflection without you.
Although, my legs are aching and i'm out of breath and my chest hurts because my heart feels like it's been ripped out and stepped on. I'm fine, I just need to gey far away as possible. There's no way in hell that I can watch Gerard leave, he plan's on moving to New York for a project. This project involves promoting his Art career.
As much as I love the guy and i'm impressed with his talent. It hurts way too much because I spent two years chasing him. My feelings for him grew from being bestfriends, he then became everything to me. He told me he loved me, he bought me a promise ring.
Beating myself up about this, he told me his plans for the next couple weeks. I just couldn't handle it, I fled, left the ring on my pillow beside him. Grabbed my bag that layed in the closet with clothes I packed for a weekend with him, got dressed and left him without an answer why.
Of course, the addict boy.. definately bleeds for coffee he probably woke sometime later, possibly worried. When he shouldn't be... He's not my father! Definately not!
Maybe I don't know where i'm going! Does it matter, I have no family, I got kicked out at 15, I lived at the Ways house until Gerard got his own house. But, I didn't live at Gerards' either, I moved with Ray.
Sadly, I don't know why i'm running. My anxiety is causing me just to get as far as way as I can. My problem is I can face what I hate the most.
Gerard doesn't understand, I'd kill for him, I would lay down and die for him... I bleed for him. Anything insane!
My heart beats for him... but he doesn't see that. He will go away for a few years.
Happily, meet someone new become close to them. FORGET ME! I know exactly! As much as I want him to be happy... I would give everything or anythig for him to be happy with me. To stay here...
Madly, caught up in my thoughts, feelings, emotions. I almost didn't notice how hungry I am. So unsure how long I been walking, it must be noon because the sun is on the highest point of the sky now. I need to eat! I need coffee to carry on!
Steadily I walk down a street, trying to pick out a diner that I can stop in. A certain place stands out to me, it has a red door with black fogged windows and a belcony. I run across the street, reading the sign.
Ok i admit, the hungry part stood out to me! But that's how I feel.
Confused, exhausted, Torn apart I grabbed my coffee and walked down the street stopping at an empty old park, sitting down by a tree. I buried my face in my arms, my face flushed and my eyes started to burn. I cried for a long time, I guess without even noticing I fell asleep.
Sometime later, I awoke, feelings groggy, and sore, oh so stiff. I sat up looking around for a moment. " Ugh, gosh I'm sucha bum... sleeping in a park..." I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where to go. " Where the hell am I? " I asked myself, stretching then getting back to my feet.
" I'M SO STIFF OH GOSH I'M SORE! I NEED A MASSAGE! " I screamed at the top of my lungs. Well, sometimes I you need a good yell. I find that fixes alot when your messed up in your head. " Too much info there! " An unfamiliar voice said, As I realized how wrong it sounded after it came out of my mouth. Dazed and confused I turned around to reveal a face so beautiful.
Before me, stood a male with blue, green eyes and purple, black hair. He was very handsome, but thinking about it he wasn't compared to Gerard. But, definately sexy!
Realizing I been starring at him for too long, I became red instintly. " Mhm, I didn't know that someone was listening? " I looked down embarassed. " Well, i'm pretty sure people in the nearest city heard you" he chuckled, amused by his comment. I smirked but stood awkwardly in front on this guy. Nothing to really say, because I probably look like shit. During the thought of this, I gasped. " Erm, I gotta go! " I practically yelled. Grabbed my bag and booked it.
On the run again
" WAIT! " A distant voice callled, but I couldn't be bothered right now, I'm not looking back. I kept running.
" Where would he go? " I screamed intothe phone, extremely worried for Frank. " Did you check at Ray's? he must be there sleeping or something? But just stop screaming at me!" Mikey said, raged at the fact Gerard's been calling his phone waking him up from his sleep. " NO! He's not! Ray said he hasn't called or anything! I'm worried! Where did he go? He left the ring on the pillow. He's no where to be found either, His bag is gone too! " Gerard's voice cracked, panicking amd crying. " K, Gee don't cry, He'll come back! I'm sure of it. " " NO HE WONT! He's been acting weird ever since I gave him that stupid ring, I must of scared him....I gotta go look for him" I hung up the phone without an explanation on where on earth i'm going... I grabbed my keys and ran to my car.
" I'm gonna find Frankie, if it's the last thing I do..." I said under my breath. Determined by my words. I wiped my tears, starring into the mirror. My refection I hate, because I might have lost you...and it's all my fault.