Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Love in the Weirdest of Places

I Use To Be An Angel

by MuzicAddict 3 Reviews

Mikey stressed about Gerard

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Fantasy - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2012/01/31 - Updated: 2012/02/15 - 2999 words

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Early the next day Frank emerged from his room, tired and yawning. He managed to fight his way out of his shirt last night and it was lost somewhere in his room; he wasn't going to find it, so going shirtless was his only option right now. The smell of breakfast being cooked had woken up him up, and his stomach grumbled. Now Frank was walking down the hallway, but abruptly came to a stop when he thought he heard a faint thumping like sound. The thumping couldn't be footsteps—it sounded wet, like someone had taken a detour through a mud puddle.

After a moment of just listening, he twitched in realization—it was a heart. But who's heart?

Frank strained his ears to hear what was going on downstairs and with the blood he consumed just yesterday, he could hear just about everything in the house and outside. He could hear Bob talking and Ray's high pitched laughter. Frank craned his neck a bit; Mikey was still snoring in his bed. Since those three were doing their own thing, there was only one other person who the heartbeat could belong to. Gerard. Remembering Ray's advice from yesterday, he relaxed his shoulders instead of tensing them, taking a deep breath. He slowly turned around to face the direction the beating heart was coming from.

“Uh... Gerard? Is that you?”

There was a silent, but audible gasp from just around the corner. The heart skipped a beat.

Frank inched forward silently. “Gerard?” The heart beat steadily began to increase. Did Frank scare him? “Uh, I don't mean to scare you. It's just that Ray told me that you lived here too, and I guess... I don't know... you've been following me maybe?” The fast beating skipped, which answered his question somehow. “Not that I care or anything, but you know, you don't have to hide. If you want we could walk down to breakfast together.”

By this time Gerard's heart sounded like it was ready to explode, beating so fast that with out his vampire hearing he could have probably heard it just as clear. Frank inched closer and closer until he reached the end of the hallway. The heart stopped completely, causing Frank to panic and look around the corner. There was no one there.

Frank snapped his head up to hear the faintest sound of soft footsteps heading the opposite direction. The short vampire stared for a moment, shook his head, and turned back the way he came. He walked down the stairs and pushed the door to the kitchen open. Greeted by the savory smell of veggie bacon and tofu eggs frying in a skillet.

“Morning.” Bob greeted.

“Morning Frank.” Ray smiled.

Frank nodded to the both of them and slid into an empty chair around the table, feeling a bit discouraged from Gerard running away from him. Ray noticed the despair radiating off Frank. Tilting his head to the side, he asked, “What's the matter?”

“Ah, nothing really... I heard Gerard following me. I tried talking to him and asked him to walk down here with me, but he ran off before I got to see him.” Frank folded his arms on the table and placed his chin in the gap with a pout.

“Well, you can't just expect him to come right out and talk to you. I told you he's really shy.” Ray reminded, watching Bob turn off the eye of the skillet and get five plates down from the cupboard.

Frank straightened up, “Yeah, I know. But still though...”

“You have acute hearing now, you could try and pinpoint where he is. Or you could just keep talking to him just a bit.” Ray glanced over to Bob.

The blond began to shovel bacon and eggs on the plates, “Yeah man. He'll come around.” Sliding a plate in front of Frank with a small smile. Frank sighed, returned the smile, and crunched on the bacon.

XXX

Later in the afternoon, Frank roamed the hallways to see if he could catch Gerard again. But he didn't hear the heartbeats or the soft breathing from around corners or hiding behind the plants. Maybe Gerard had his daily dose of giving out of his room—Bob and Ray informed him that he mostly stayed in his room during breakfast—and decided to return to do whatever it is he does up there. They said he liked to paint and draw, and he hung some of his paintings around the house. That interested Frank.

For about a good part of the late morning into the late afternoon he roamed around the large house, finding Gerard's paintings(Bob and Ray said he signed them, which made it easier to decipher his paintings from other paintings that have been there for years). The mysterious man's paintings were good. No, good didn't even cover it. They were fucking amazing. The paintings depicted dark images with vampires and girls with their long dark hair in their faces hiding in corners, covering their ears. Then there were some that were simply black and red swirls—still awesome.

Next time Frank ever hears Gerard following him around, he'll compliment him on the paintings.

Frank thinks he's seen the last of Gerard's paintings, and it's kind of a bummer. He hopes that the man will put out more for him to admire. For now, he'll have to wait. Frank walked down the long hallways, passing one of Gerard's magnificent paintings, and entered one of the doors leading to the living room. He passed through the door, but stopped, seeing Ray on all fours, from over the back of the couch. The werewolf's muscled arms veins were flexing as he did a kneading motion to something under him. To the couches, like a real dog would? Was he going to take a nap?

His brows were furrowed as he kneaded, focusing completely at his tasks. Frank stood on his toes, dancing back and forth as he tried to get a glimpse of what held Ray's focus.

Ray saw Frank dancing on his toes out of the corner of his eye, paused, and looked over. He leaned back and put his hands were Frank could see them. Frank fell back on his feet and titled his head. Ray blushed. Frank came forward cautiously.

There was a groan under the werewolf, “Why'd you stop?”

Frank peered over the couch to see Mikey was face down in a pillow, shirtless, and looking rather limp. Mikey twisted his neck removing his face from the pillow to look up, a flicker of annoyance flashed through his hazel brown eyes. The skinny brunette, on spotting him, sighed and sat up with a reluctant groan causing Frank to step back, not sure what to say or what to think. Ray's face matched that of a tomato's perfectly and was hiding his face behind those mass of curls. Mikey's face was solemn, and like his eyes were, flashing annoyance over his features. Annoyance directed towards the short vampire.

Frank looked dumbfounded. He had just walked in on Ray giving Mikey a massage, which would have been okay if Mikey wasn't shirtless. Did guys give each other massages from time to time... without shirts? Frank did a double-take from a blushing Ray to an annoyed Mikey.

“You need something Frank?” Mikey asked. He leaned his slender body back against Ray, who wrapped his arms around Mikey's waist. Ray tenderly nuzzled his nose into Mikey's hair, still blushing. Mikey fit against Ray perfectly, like a missing puzzle piece to a puzzle that was nearly done. They molded together perfectly.

Then it clicked. Those looks Mikey and Ray exchanged several times a day. Those times he spotted Ray and Mikey walking in the garden from time to time, so close that there hands brushed every so slightly. Or when they were on the porch swing together, swaying ever so slightly, pressed against each other really close—more close than best guy friends probably should. And those nights where Frank couldn't sleep, so he went walking around, and would spot Ray slipping in Mikey's room closing and locking the door. He just thought that those two were having a slumber party or something silly like that where they shared secrets and ghost stories.

Am I really that naïve?

No. He wasn't. He's been with a few guys before in high school. It's not strange, just a surprise. But it wasn't really what he was focusing on, it was the two angry looking scars that were down his back.

Mikey cleared his throat pulling Frank from his thoughts. He had a quirked eyebrow, “Something the matter?” The lean wizard slipped one of his hands in Ray's and looked to Frank, a challenging look in his eye. As if Mikey was saying 'say something, I dare you too'.

“Uh... it's just...” Frank hesitated, then decided he might as well come out with it. “Those scars. Where the hell did you get those?”

All hostility and challenge disappeared from Mikey's eyes, but were filled with slight amusement, “You're not going to ask what Ray was doing to me?” He sounded like he wanted Frank to ask what Ray was doing to him, which Frank's not sure why.

“Uh... do you want me too?”

Mikey chuckled, “You're not disturbed?”

Frank shrugged, “I've been with a few guys from time to time, doesn't bother me any. But... I guess I am curious. What were you two doing...?” Looking over to Ray, who was peeking from under his hair.

“I was giving him a massage. He's been stressed lately and his scars are bothering him.” Ray pressed his lips to his hair sounding worried.

Mikey sighed.

Frank shifted his weight from foot to foot, “Where did you get those scars? I've never seen them on you before.”

“'Cause you've never seen me shirtless,” Mikey smirked, “and it's a long story.”

“I've got time.” Frank moved around the couches to sit on the couch opposite to them.

Mikey watched him for a moment or two, before clearing his throat, “I guess I should start from the beginning...” Mikey said thoughtfully and earned an encouraging nod from Frank, “Okay... well, let me tell you what Gerard is, because I'm sure you don't know. He's half demon and half angel, and so am I.”

Frank frowned, titling his head to the side in confusion, “What?” His eyebrows furrowed, “I thought you said you were a wizard.”

“I guess I'm that too.”

“I don't understand.”

“Gerard is my older brother.” Mikey said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world and Ray nodded—well, of course it was obvious to him, he knew them longer. Frank had been oblivious this whole time. He hadn't even got to see Gerard's face clearly because he always ran off before he could get around the corners he was always watching Frank from, so he couldn't see the likeness the two probably shared. “You didn't know?”

“Uh, no. No one ever told me.”

“Oh sorry. Well anyway, I'm half demon and half angel too... I suppose. Our father was a demon and our mother is an angel. Anyway, the reason I have the scars on my back is because I had my wings removed some time ago.” Mikey explained simply. Ray shuddered around him and Frank shuddered too.

“W-Why? Why would you remove your wings?” Frank gulped.

“Because those... those angel bastards. They looked down on us. They tortured Gerard and I for years. They always pushed us around, told us to go to Hell—which I wouldn't have minded with those bastards being so cruel to us.” Mikey shook his head.

“Well... how could they have known? You guys look normal to me.”

“Wouldn't you be suspicious if an angel returned to Heaven, twice, pregnant and not by any man in Heaven? They gave our mother the benefit of the doubt, maybe she did it with a human, which apparently isn't as bad—I know, I don't get it either, but our mom fell for a demon. And the other angel's suspicions were confirmed when Gerard got his wings,” he sighed and ran his hands down Ray's muscled arms, “they were black as night—angels wings are generally white and I'm guessing he got that from our father's side. And when I was born my wings were white, so the kids never picked on me as much as they picked on Gerard.”

“Oh...” Frank muttered.

“Yeah. Every night since he was eight, he would crawl into my bed. I was the one he went to, not mom, because he was too ashamed to go her. Because he thought he was a failure of a son,” Mikey gritted his teeth in anger, “And they picked on him constantly. They never let up on him and they always beat him up. He even wanted to kill himself and mom never knew a thing about it until he ran away from home. Away from Heaven.”

Frank couldn't help, but feel enraged. “What the fuck? And where was God during all this?”

Mikey shrugged, “I've been asking myself that same question all these years. He's there, I think, maybe he was too busy or some shit to stop them. But whatever, I guess he couldn't be bothered with the smaller folks.”

“That's bullshit.” Frank exclaimed. When he was five he was introduced into Catholicism by his strict grandparents and if that wasn't bad enough, he was actually forced to go to a Catholic school. He hated it. His childhood was a miserable one. Eventually he stopped going to church and the Catholic school altogether when his parents passed away. Frank figured if there wasn't a God up there that answered one simple prayer, the only prayer he ever prayed in his life(to bring his parents) back then, why continue with a religion he despised so much?

“You're telling me.” Mikey let out a shaky breath, “So when he ran away from Heaven, I had to go after him, he's my big brother. And that's when I met Ray,” Reaching slim fingers back, he stroked Ray's hair out of his eyes, and the werewolf smiled wide, “he helped me find him. Gerard was a mess when I found him, he had cuts on his wrists from his attempts, and we found this house and cleaned him up.” Mikey dragged his loving gaze from Ray's brown eyes to Frank's, “That's when I decided I didn't want my wings. I didn't want to even have anything associated with those “angels”, and the only way to get them off was by cutting them off, but Gerard worried that I would bleed out. So he begged me to wait a little while, until he could find someone to do it for us, and lucky for us we found Bob a few months after moving into the house.

“He still kept in contact with the scientist who saved him and said that he could do the job. Gerard really didn't want me to get them taken off, but there was no changing my mind. So the scientist cut them off and rid me of them.” Mikey shrugged, reaching backwards to rub one of the scars, that were throbbing. "Then after my wings were removed, I found some sorcery books lying around, and decided to try it. I took up the whole doing magic thing for Gerard and as a big 'FUCK YOU' to the them, since Heaven is all against witchcraft and black magic." Mikey laughed lightly on the last part.

“Wow.” Frank sat back, “That's really hardcore.”

"I guess." Mikey shrugged, then sighed, “Ever since then, Gerard has had trust issues. He's had battles with depression and has overcome them. He's was doing just fine, until just recently.” Mikey's hazel eyes were swirling with worry and anguish, “I don't know what causes it, they just come and go. I tell him all the time that I love him--we love him and he's amazing in every way, but he doesn't seem to believe it. I don't know what to do...” The last sentence cut off with a broken sob from Mikey, who was looking up towards the ceiling, blinking back tears that were threatening to fall. Ray mewled softly to the man and kissed the back of his neck.

“Shh, it's okay, Mikey.” Ray whispered softly to him.

“No it's not Ray. He's contemplated suicide before, and he wanted to, remember? I wouldn't put it past him if he actually did it. And what would I do without him? I can't lose him.” Mikey whimpered, making Ray wrap his arms tighter around his skinny frame.

“And you won't.” Frank found himself sliding off the couch, crawling his way over until he was in front of Mikey. “You won't Mikey.”

Mikey growled. “You don't know my brother.”

“That may be so, but I know he probably loves you more than you know. He wouldn't leave you.” Frank placed a hand on the boys knees.

Mikey sniffed, “I just... I just don't know what to do anymore... he's my brother. I feel like I'm letting him down.”

“You're not,” Frank assured, looking up to Mikey, “You'll get him through it. I know you will, you've done it so many times before. We'll see him through it.”

The slender man noticed that Frank said 'we'll see him through it', and that meant a lot to Mikey--it meant that Frank would help out too, somehow. Rubbing a hand under his glasses as Ray pressed a tender kiss to the back of his neck, Mikey leaned back against the werewolf, “Thank you, really, but I just don't want him to keep going through these fits of depression. He doesn't deserve that, he's such a nice guy.”

Frank nodded, "We'll help him, I promise." His sentence dripping with sincerity that made Mikey crack a small smile.

"Thanks." Mikey smiled.
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