Post-series. Roy misses Fullmetal and slacks on his new job.
PAIRING : Roy/Ed
RATING : PG-13 or even less I have no idea
SPOILERS : post-series so YES
WARNING : yaoi, slight angst
DISCLAIMER : Full Metal Alchemist and its characters aren't mine, but the following fic is. Anyway, that's not like I was making money out of either of them.
SUMMARY : Roy miss Fullmetal and slacks on his new job.
I hated his braid. He wasn't aware of that I'm sure, not that he would have minded. Hell, if he had known, he probably would have worn it just to annoy me. That is so Fullmetal, clever and aggravating in everything he does... did. I miss him.
I don't know when it began, I don't even know if something really did but it sure feels like something has ended. That wasn't an awful long time but it seems like Fullmetal always was there and his absence is a living thing. A particularly nasty living thing. I suppose I will always expect him bouncing in my office eyes blazing and an insult at the ready. He'd sulk, I'd tease, he'd rave, I'd laugh and he'd leave. He always left, his braid mockingly following after him. I swear that in five years, I saw more of it than of him. I really hated his braid. I miss him.
I'm a hypocrite, I know that. I was the one sending him away on my errands. I could have kept him close to me where nothing would have reached him. I could, but I wouldn't, because I knew how important his wild goose chase was for him. I don't think I ever thought he would succeed in his quest. Looking back it seems cold that I had so little faith in him but to be honest, I didn't really think that I would succeed either. Unconsciously, I think I was content with how the things were with me racing to the top and him racing to my call. So I gave him opportunities and made some for me on the way, always pushing him and always staying behind, hypnotized by his swinging hated braid. I miss him.
I wanted power to right the wrongs, to make this world a better one and what I've got is a world sadly missing. How can it be right when he left ? How can it be a better world if it's one without him? We both had our wishes granted and that's not anything like it should have been. Equivalent trade maybe, but assuredly a cruel one. He isn't here to see his brother fully restored and I'm the Fuhrer of an army which no longer holds any power. Since the Parliament took charge and the wars ended, we soldiers aren't needed anymore and I'm the proud leader of an useless and bitter force. I shouldn't complain I guess, there's peace and that's what I wanted but.... It has some poetic justice that I, for all my scheming and arrogance, would be ridiculed in such a manner. He would have laughed no doubt. He had this full belly laugh that made his entire body shake. His braid would have sway like a pendulum. I hated that braid. I miss him.
I should be doing paperwork, not that there's anything important but I'm sure Hawkeye won't be long with the next serving. Who would have guessed that there is more of the evil things to file as a Fuhrer than as a Colonel? When I saw how much of it was needed for the "miniskirt plan" I gave up the idea. I wonder how long before Havoc forgives me. I really need a break. A distraction would be so good but nobody can pull one like Fullmetal would have. No matter how long he stayed, be it ten minutes or a couple hours he brightened my day like a brilliant ray of sunshine. For days to come I felt the warmth of his presence, randomly smiling at the remembrance of the finer points of his latest outburst. I never told him that. I should have maybe. Maybe he wouldn't have done what he did. Maybe he still would be here if he had known how much I valued our relationship ... partnership ... acquaintance ... whatever it was ! Maybe he should have known that the best moments of my life began with his automail foot violently connecting with the door of my office. Maybe he should have known how gloomy the sight of his hated braid was. I miss him.
There! Here comes the dreadful knock on the door. More paperwork, joy! Hawkeye will have a cow when she sees that I'm not through the first bunch. I should be prepared to dodge.... A ponytail... hum how fitting, maybe you hated the braid too. That's one tail I definitely won't mind chasing. It seems this Mustang finally found its mare. Time to act, I won't be missing you anymore.