The gang are in the hospital, and Fiona debates with her emotions
I stared at the guys in front of me, how were we going to explain this, I started to panic, what if the press found out? The headlines would be everywhere! Something hit me, like a heavy weight on my shoulders, Mikey was unconscious and they had a concert in a few more days!
I fell to floor, this was entirely my fault, exactly what I didn’t want to happen, happened. Tears rolled down my face, I bent over Mikey body and looked at him for a moment. The guys said nothing.
It was like it was just me and Mikey in the room. “Mikey wake up” I said, he didn’t reply, I knew he wasn’t going to but I had to try, I ordered him again “Mikey, wake up!” No reply again, I started to shout at him, I was angry that he was so stupid to do exactly what I told him not to. “Mikey! Wake! Up!” I was getting desperate I resorted to slapping him. I slapped him once and I got no response, I went to slap him again but someone had caught my hand in mid-air.
I looked up to see it was Frank, and that’s went I lost it, something in his eyes, he looked like he understood my pain and my actions but there was no use for it. I broke down collapsing into Frank and he just held me and I rocked slightly back and forth.
Ray went to get the security guard so we could go to the nearest hospital. We all clambered into Gerard’s van and the journey began, we were tightly packed, Mikey was lying on a seat all to himself except for me, I had his head on my lap, Liam was placed in the back. I looked down at that man I loved, he look so peaceful but his bruises made his face seem unreal.
Tears were still rolling down and some were dripping onto Mikey’s forehead but I kept whipping them off and when my hands weren't whipping off the tears I was stroking his hair while whispering the song 'C’mon' by Panic! At the Disco and Fun, I knew the song was very uplifting but I felt like the lyrics mattered at the moment. Gerard and Frank would look at me occasionally but my eyes would never leave Mikey’s face.
“It’s getting late, and I
Cannot seem to find my way home tonight
Feels like I am falling down a rabbit hole
Falling for forever, wonderfully wandering alone
What would my head be like
If not for my shoulders
Or without your smile
May it follow you forever
May it never leave you
To sleep in the stone,
May we stay lost on our way home
C’mon, c’mon, with everything falling down around me
I’d like to believe in all the possibilities
If I should die tonight
May I first just say I’m sorry
For I, never felt like anybody
I am a woman of many hats although I
Never mastered anything
When I am ten feet tall
I’ve never felt much smaller, since the fall
Nobody seems to know my name
So don’t leave me to sleep all alone
May we stay lost on our way home?
C’mon, c’mon, with everything falling down around me
I’d like to believe in all the possibilities"
When we arrived, Jimmy, the guard, went in before any one explaining the situation we were in, he asked if there was a back entrance we could go through and if we could have some stretchers to help get the men in. Jimmy came back and drove to the back entrance, I felt really cool, sneaking around like this but I knew I should keep my attention on Mikey.
Doctors and nurses came out, two stretchers at the ready, I got out quickly and moved to the side not wanting to get in the way, Gerard, Ray, Frank and Jimmy helped get the men out as I just stood there and watched, I felt helpless, useless, stupid and guilty.
Five words repeated in my head again and again; this is all my fault, this is all my fault. I shook my head trying to disperse of the words but to no avail, they came back.
Frank came over and joined me, he looked worried, but his worry was directed to the wrong person. “You alright?” He asked while putting his arm around my shoulders, yes he was worried about me, of course he wasn’t worried about his unconscious and hospitalized band mate, good old Frank being there for me.
I laughed bitterly, I noticed I called him “Good old Frank” I hardly knew him. I shrugged his arm off me and walked into the hospital while claiming I needed coffee, he offered to come with me but I dismissed him with my hand and insisted I would bring everyone some.
It was then I noticed I was wearing one of Mikey’s coats, It was the grey one, he used to wear it a lot, in the panic of getting to the hospital I must of put it on without noticing, it was far too big for me, I felt like a child her father’s coat.
I walked past patients, their judging eyes staring. They knew what I was planning on doing, I stopped mid flow of walking, I looked down ashamed, I couldn’t bale now, could I? That would be like spitting In Mikey’s face, I was just scared about what had happened, scared of the consequences, scared to find out what would happen next.
Half of me wanted to bale for those reason but another half screamed to stay, that other half was ruled mainly by my heart. I sighed, I loved Mikey, I seriously did, like no other man I had loved before, I remember that night he saved me, I looked at his gorgeous face, I laughed remembering how I reacted.
I had staggered backwards, because I was scared, scared he was an angel! I shook my head at the silly thought but it was true, I had thought Mikey was an angel who was saving me, or was bringing me up to heaven from my untimely death.
I started to walk to actually get some coffee; I had said to Frank I was going to bring them some. An old frail voice stopped my train of thought. “Have you come to visit me?” an old man said to the left of me. I was about to explain that I wasn’t here to visit him but his eyes were sad, it didn’t look like he had had any visitors for a ages, if ever.
I smiled and crossed over to him “Yes I’ve come to visit you” I said as I peaked at his chart “Hello, Eric” I smiled again.
He smiled back “Hello, erm I’m sorry but I don’t remember you, you just seem familiar” He explained.
I smiled again “I am your wife’s second cousin, Fiona” I said simply. “You feeling alright?” I asked in a soft voice, he nodded “They might let me out soon, they say” I smiled, I was glad that he was getting better, even though I didn’t know him, he seemed too nice to go just yet.
After that we spoke about many things, I got a newspaper and we read it together, discussing the news, we even read the comics and had a good giggle about them. I didn’t bring up Mikey or the band, this seemed like the good escape I needed.
I felt sorry that I had left them to deal with Mikey and Liam on their own, especially Liam, he was my fault. I had been an hour, they were probably getting worried, I planned on leaving Eric soon but not before I asked him something.
“Eric?” I started.
“Yes, Fiona” he said happily.
“can I ask you something” I said timidly, looking down, fiddling with my bracelet.
“Of course, anything” He replied/
“I’m in love with this man, but I don’t know if he could ever love me back, what do I do?” I said finally looking up at him.
He put his old hand on mine and smiled warmly, like the answer was obvious. “You simply tell him and if he doesn’t love you then he’s no good for you.” I smiled, his words gave me courage. I said my goodbyes and thank you’s and left Eric, hoping I would see him again before I left.
I finally grabbed the coffee and headed back to the guys, they were all sitting in a waiting room, heads in their hands, I almost dropped my coffee, “What’s wrong?” I blurted out, I was scared and on the verge of crying again.
They all turned to stare at me and then came rushing towards me, engulfing me in a massive group hug. If this was meant to comfort me then it wasn’t helping, it only raised more questions in my head, why wouldn’t they tell me what’s wrong? They pulled back, I handed them their coffee’s and looked each one of them in the eye, they all looked empty.
“What’s wrong?” I had to control myself, trying not to scream or cry. I looked to Frank for help. “Frank?” I simply asked in a voice that didn’t sound like mine, it was shaking.
“It’s okay, we haven’t heard anything yet, we were just worried about you, you’ve been gone for hours, we didn’t know where you’d gone, we thought you’d left” He said while looking down. I shook my head, tears emerging again.
I looked at them all again and simply stated. “Never.”
Wow was a long one eh? haha I hope you like the story line so far, sorry about nothing really happening in this one.
RULES OF THE NEXT POST: at least ONE RATE and ONE REVIEW