(#) mychemicalbitchbot 2012-03-05Oh god, Layla... Sorry. Chat with her all the time. (she's like, a fucking GOD. Knows how to properly bitch slap you of your plot is shit)
Um... Hah. I love her. Sorry. Sorry. Ah shot I just did that. Sorry.
ONTO THE GODDAMN REVIEW PART!
Normally, I just leave the 'fuck that was amazing' review even if it was mediocre, but since this is your first fic, I'm not letting you off easy. (you'd think it would be the other way around, but no, sorry, it isn't)
The beginning- I started reading because your username is fucking epic. But really, it was every other high school fics beginning. I know I have no room to talk, but I think perhaps you could spice it up infuture fics or if you ever rewrite the story/chapter.
Hm... The grammar wasn't glaringly disappointing, I didn't really notice any huge mistakes, so all is good in my book. Uh... Then there was the spelling. You did well, but there were still some mistakes, like sun and son (not that that happened, it's just an example. Like their there and they're) and extra letters. How you spell yhea is interesting and makes my spellcheck vomit on the screen, but it's good for a first try-- actually, it's good for a fic in general. We tend to see a lot of shit mixed in with our gold and silver here on fuckwad (well tha sounded mean, sorry) and I think so far this is at least going to be copper, at the very least because it's literate and makes fuckig SENSE. (so far)
I do hope it doesn't have a mother of fuck cliche plot so I can smile and fuckwads Frerard babies can live on xD
Um... Don't expect such a long review from me ever again... Shit this is really long... I think I've written shorter fucking stories...
Well. Keep going, you're doing great so far. Hah... Layla... Sorry. See you next chapter (quit and I will whoop your gay ass-- I don't mean that to be offensive, I currently have a girlfriend so I mean it in a nice way... Oh yeah. I think BoomBoomJude is a dude and DimitryWay... You're not alone, bro.)
Author's responseOh my, thank you very, very, very, very, very motherfucking much! I mean it's not often that you recieve an honest review that will actually get you somewhere. I really appreciate your honesty. I'll absolutely try & make my spelling better and spice up the plot. I was already feeling kinda insecure about this whole thing of writing, but scince you threathen to whoop my gay ass XDD I'll start working on the nxt chapter imediatly, I'll try not to rush the story and make my grammar better. Thanx alot really ur awesome darlin'
- Althea ^^ I love you
Now onto the story:
Awesome start. I love stories that have psychotic Gee/Frank. I dunno why.
I can't wait for more and I agree with Althea, stop and me and her will climb through the internet and whoop your ass [smiles really creppyly]
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