Frank's text message :)
I run over to my phone knowing my hopes could get torn down in a matter of seconds. I need this message to be from him, i need it to say he still wants me. In an ideal world it would say: "Come and meet me tonight. Come to Liliths. G x" Liliths being the nearest Gay bar, although i don't even know if Gerard is aware of that place as he's still pretty new to the area. I race through my menu to my message inbox and my heart swells up, as a grin creeps upon my face. "Gerard: 1 New Message." I click read and instantly all my newly built up happiness slowly disintgrates.
You accepted yourself, I'm proud of you for that.
But this won't work out. Don't contact me again.
It's best we don't see eachother.
It's so formal, so genuine. He means every word of it, we're over before we even began. We could've actually got somewhere with this too. Fucking life. Fucking family.
No, it's not life or family. It's me. Just me all over again. Me screwing people over, throwing favours back in peoples faces. Hurting those i care most about, and driving them away. Forever. Throwing it all down the drain like it was nothing. Like it was me. Because now that is all i really am. I'm nothing.
I reluctantly press send and hope to be done with it all for good. Frank out of my head and my heart. Now i just had to wait for my feelings to disappear. I still had to work close to him but i could just shorten the hours and leave the village on my breaks. One of the best advantages of having your Dad as your boss. You could be flexible to an extent. Not that he wasn't going to make me work hard as per. We were moving in soon afterall. Me, Dad, Mom and Mikey. And i was going to have to face him, and keep it all inside. Praying it would just go away in time.
Those eyes and that smile, still pulling me in like gravity.