Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Fuck The Title I Can't Think of One

Fuck Being Okay, I'm Not

by mychemicalbitchbot 7 Reviews

It's a special day for Gerard.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres:  - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Published: 2012/03/09 - Updated: 2012/03/10 - 1392 words - Complete

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(A/N: ... do I see heavy interaction in this chapter? Why yes, I think I do. How odd.)

Gerard was smiling as he walked into the house, so far past his curfew. It wasn't really a happy smile, it was a smile that said he was glad to forget whatever it was that normally kept him from smiling. It was a smile that annoyed my parents greatly.

"Gerard, it's 10 o'clock. Where were you?" My mother commanded as soon as Gerard sales through the door. He looked at her and grinned.

"I was out again, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were my mom." He said. He was drunk. But not the drunk I'd come to expect of him, he was even worse than usual. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was a little bit tipsy. But I knew better, knew he was probably drowning in alcohol.

Mom frowned. "Gerard, I'll never be your mom. But as long as you live in my house, you live under my rules. You need to follow the curfew I set for you, which was three hours ago. You had us worried!"

Gerard shrugged. "Then kick me out. You're not the first, and you won't be the last.  I've been kicked out of so many homes... None of them are my home, though, so it doesn't really matter."

Dad frowned. "Gerard, it's not that hard to come home at seven. Can't you just do that for us?"

"Fuck no! I ain't gotta do nothing for no one, that's what Mikey said!" Gerard grinned. "I love Mikey so much. Can't wait to see that boy again."

I couldn't help but wonder who Mikey was, especially after the way my parents flinched at the name. Was Mikey someone Gerard shouldn't hang out with? I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything.

"Gerard... Are you high?" My mother asked. Why couldn't Gerard talk about his Mikey character?

"Nope, just drank a bit more than I should have." Gerard smiled. "You haven't seen Mikey, have you? Jeez, he's so good at hiding!"

My mother paled. "Frank, I want you to put Gerard to bed."

I frowned. Why did I have to take care of a drunk Gerard? On a second thought, it could be a good time to get dirt on my most recent obsession. "Fine."

My mother smiled. "Thanks, honey. I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Come on, Gerard. Let's go upstairs." I said to the drunk adolescent, sighing. This was not going to a pleasant experience. I just hoped Gerard wouldn't throw up on me and I could get some valuable information on him and this Mikey character.

"Gerard, why did you get so drunk?" I asked as I started to remove his Aberzombie and Bitch shirt once we were in his room.  He let me take of his clothes, let me close enough to smell the reeking alcohol on his breath.  It was sad, that one of the most popular students at school had been turned into this mess of constant alcohol, but it wasn't all that unpredictable. Alcoholics were made every day, after all.

"... Mom and Dad were killed today." Gerard whispered. My eyes widened. Oh God... No wonder he was upset. I would probably drink my brains out on the date of my parents death too, especially if I had had to watch it like Gerard did.

"I'm sorry." I told him. I never knew his parents, never met anyone he was related to, but I was sorry that it drove him to drink. Sorry that he had to witness his parents last painful moments, sorry that those moments caused his brother to be driven over the edge. 

Gerard frowned. "Don't say that. You never knew them. They were... They weren't the best parents, but... They brought me into this world, and I.. I had to watch them be taken out of it." A tear dropped from Gerard's eye, then another and another until he was sobbing onto my shoulder.

I wrapped my arms around him, trying to comfort him. I rubbed his bare back, shushing him with soft breaths, trying to allow him to let all his tears out and wishing he didn't have a reason to cry. If he didn't have a reason to cry, I never would have met him. And if I had never met him, I wouldn't have such a confusing puzzle to figure out. So I maybe his parents being dead was something I should be grateful for, a toy to keep me entertained as I watched it break.

"It'll be alright." I told him. I was lying, I couldn't possibly know if he would be alright. It wasn't really something I could easily describe, my wish for Gerard. I wanted to know everything about him, yet I wanted no part of the person he was at school that would cruelly attempt to crush me with very little guilt about it. Or maybe there would be guilt in him; I could never seem to predict Gerard.

Gerard sniffled, his desperate sobbing toning down. "No. No, it won't be alright. Mom... Mom had so many cuts, there were... Dad, there  were so many burns... It was all my fault, too. All my fault." It was something deep, something dark that ate away at Gerard. He knew everything that happened to his parents and could have told me everything if he so desired. He knew how awful people could be, knew the exact harshness in the cruelty of the world and it twisted him up and left him broken, behind yet so far ahead in the race of life.

I was shocked, though, that he thought it was his fault. I couldn't help but wonder how Gerard could believe his parents being killed in front of him was his fault. How could such a vile thing like that be his fault? He may have been an alcoholic, or not the nicest fucker on the planet but he didn't kill his parents, that was someone else. 

"It wasn't your fault." I hugged him tighter to emphasize my point. "Don't you go thinking that something so awful and out of your control was ever your fault. Neither you or you brother could have been at fault."

Something broke within Gerard when those words I so stupidly spoke were uttered. I should have kept my mouth shut, I shouldn't have mentioned a sore subject like his brother. But I did, and had to deal with a crying Gerard because of it. A bawling Gerard, more like. My neck was soaked in salty tears, my ears full of sobs and my eyes could see the loathing flowing off Gerard. 

"Mikey... I want to see Mikey. I want to see him so bad." Gerard cried, and I began to put the pieces together, understand why my Mom thought Gerard had been high. "I just want to see my baby brother!"

I ground my teeth together. Gerard should be able to see Mikey, should still be with his brother. That's what brothers were for, wasn't it? "Gerard... You can't see Michael."

Gerard let out a heart wrenching sob. "I know, Frank! I know! I can't see Mikey because he's dead, because I wasn't good enough of a brother to keep him alive!"

I frowned. "Gerard, it's not your fault. You can't keep blaming yourself."

It took a while, but eventually I got Gerard to stop crying. I got him to pull on his pajamas, leaving the room as he put on his bottoms, and I took him to his bed. I set the alarm for him, I made sure his body was covered by a dark colored blanket. I was silent; he needed this day to himself. He deserved to get drunk and be left alone on a day as historical for him as this one.

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A/N: Meh... The next chapter is at school, I think.

I'm going to dedicate (yet another) this chapter to Shiwoggi, you make me want to update.The next chapter will be, at the latest, posted on April 9th. (Three guesses why and the first two don't

Ah, you should all check out my newest story Natural Born Killers, I'm currently writing chapter 2 and am so excited! Meh. Until next chapter! (Which will probably be before April 9th)
~Althea
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