Frank and Gerard have a slight encounter...
I am underneath a car working on repairing it's rusted brakes and their pipes. My first day as a new employee at a Garage just on the village outskirts. I may be a wreck. A good for nothing but this is my shot at turning things around and making myself useful. A little bit of money is never a bad thing either considering my Mum is getting very snappy about me lending her money and spending it on clothes or posters. The timing is perfect really. Especially as it keeps me busy, maybe it could keep me out of trouble too. Then again i guess that is really down to me, all my failures, all my woe and all of the pain i've caused to people. Even the ones i care about, the ones i love, the one i kissed.
Maybe it means nothing to him. Maybe it was all this big scene to make me feel wanted only to smash me into pieces afterwards. Maybe it was all a little plot of revenge. A twisted little saliva swap that meant nothing to him. Made him feel dirty. Made his stomach turn, but all the same this revenge was sweet. For the both of us. Even if the little black butterflies wouldn't leave me alone.
I'm snapped from my repetitive thoughts by a voice i know only too well. "Oh well if it isn't my least favourite faggot in the world." He laughs in my face as i slide out from underneath the car. "What do you want?" I ask simply. I can't let a worthless piece of trash make me lose my job, he's already making every other part of my life a living purgatory. His slimy insults. His pathetic jeers. The snide remarks. Give me a fucking break already. "You're a nancy, a dirty filthy nancy who should rot." He snarls making my blood boil and my eyes narrow. "Hit me Fag, come on do us all a favour and get back inside your prison cell." He taunts me and i almost hit him, until he reminds me. One false move and i'm in prison serving my orginigal sentence. Eight months.
I walk buy the garage and see Frank in a confrontation with some ugly dude. He's the same height as me but more muscular, i've seen his kind before. Pick on the weaker ones, mock them, degrade them and finally, destroy them. I rush over to the scene and close in on the man. "Hey Hey Hey, fighting are we?" I mock him smiling widely in his face winking at Frankie. Man, i wish i didn't care for him anymore. He's the reason i'm over here to begin with. "Nancy here won't fucking hit me, won't do us all a favour and go down." The man snarls and i turn on him instantly. Nancy? Fucking hypocritical bastard. And he wants Frank to go down? Over my dead body.
"I could hit you? You know as Franks a friend, no criminal record, just a caution and a fine maybe." I state matter of factly as the man loses his bottle and storms away looking more than a little pathetic with his extravagant swagger and loss at this fight.
"You okay?" I turn to Frank now. Man, he's so pretty it's killing me.
" Yeah thanks. You didn't need to do that." He mumbles looking downwards.
"I'd do it for anyone else." I lie my voice volume dropping alot.
"I'd like to make it up to you, a drink later maybe. You don't have to]-" He says nervously still focusing on his converse.
"I'd like that." I smile before walking away and panicking over what to wear, i have to look good because A) compared to him i look like the Grudge and B) I want him to like me, the way i like him.
We awkwardly sit across from eachother as last orders are called. We're back in my village now and so Gerard will need to be catching the last bus soon. Otherwise he's in a word, screwed. If not by me that is not acceptable. Fuck Frankie, contain yourself.
"The bus is due soon, i'd better go." He announces after almost two awkward hours together in this bar. Without thinking i instantly have to try and change our plans. " Stay. Stay at mine tonight. Please." I say softly as i mentally curse myself for sounding so soppy out of nowhere. I can't let my feelings show. I can't have that at all.
I swear i see a half smile flash on his face, but he couldn't, could he? " If you insist?" He questions, a perfectly arched eyebrow raised.
"Yeah, i er would like that." I mumble looking at my hands, the real me returning again.
"Okay." He sighs. Oh fuck, i have trapped us both in a zoo of overlust for someone i cannot have and i have to spend the night with him at my house. Shit. Fuck. Shoot my inner conscience, please?
"Do you want a drink?" I ask as we spill through the door to Dayles empty house. He's visiting family tonight until late. "Yeah, a beer please." Gerard states and i nod gently turning the stereo on. And to my horror it had to be poison and wine by the civil wars, a love song, a love song that when Dayle played it made me think of one person and one person alone. I quickly lead him to the sofa and dart from the room to grab us both drinks. When i return i perch next to him, worried he can feel the tension and uncertainty.
"We don't have to do this you know." Gerard says softly as i sip my drink and build up my usually non existent courage. I softly press my lips to his and he responds to my surprise and pure delight. We're lost in bliss for a long time until we finally break apart for air. "I don't do anything i don't want to now, do I?" I say softly returning to my own personal heaven.