Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

Browser 18, Signing Off.

by browser18 20 Reviews

All Stories Deleted, But Not Forever...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres:  - Characters:  - Published: 2012/03/28 - Updated: 2012/03/28 - 361 words


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    (#) TheBlackKilljoy 2012-04-21 01:44:36 PM

    Wow.. I can understand that, and I wish you all the best. :D
    But I'm going to miss 'Not a sound.. Unless it's for me'. That is the best story ever, and I wish that I could keep it somewhere written down. But I'll forever keep it in my heart.

    Author's response

    I don't know how to even begin to thank you all! I appreciate your support so very much and I keep all your sweet words in my heart, always. And yes I realize how completely cheesey that sounds, and is, but it's still true. Thank you all so much! xo Harley
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    (#) bombstheybuilt 2012-05-26 09:01:19 PM

    I am so utterly sad right now. 'Not a sound' was one of my favourite stories and it was the only way I found you deleted them. Anonymity was another favourite.

    Your stories had such a good darkness in them and I would hate to see that element go. So I'm crying :'( but best of luck with your future writing.

    Signing off, bombstheybuilt x

    Author's response

    Thank you so very much! I'm sorry to have had to withdraw all of my stories but I really want to edit them and rewrite some of them to put on Amazon Kindle. People have been saying for years that they would be willing to buy my stories but I never really felt like they were ready for monetary consumption. lol When it comes to finding out if they are or not, I feel like it's now or never. So I choose now. I appreciate your support so much and I'm genuinely touched by all of you. I really hope to write more and put even more work in to make my dream come true. Fingers, legs and toes crossed! lol Thank you so very much! I'll post something here as soon as I have something up through Amazon. Thank you again and again and again!! xo Harley
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    (#) amos222 2012-06-12 10:27:12 AM

    I'm really going to miss reading and re-reading your stories. Many of them were among my all-time favorite fanfictions. Good luck with your professional writing, and I hope you do well.

    Author's response

    Thank you so very much! I'm still working on understanding how Amazon Kindle's publishing rights work and whether it's better to buy the ISBN number myself to retain publishing ownership rights or not. If anyone has any thoughts or information on it, please let me know! Thank you so much for all your support! I hope to write more for you soon. xo Harley
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    (#) GasolineBaby 2012-07-14 08:09:21 PM

    I know this is really late but I just thought of this.
    There was a story that was based off of Alice in Wonderland (I believe the storie's name was Malice in Wonderland?) that I read on Fanfic Fanatics that I absolutely loved. Did you write that? Because its not with the stories you listed.
    Anyways, I hope all goes well in your professional career. While I'm extremely sad I won't be able to read the original versions of my favorite stories anymore, it is what it is. Good luck!

    Author's response

    Good memory! :) Yes, I did write Malice in Wonderland. I don't think it's even one of the better known stories to many people so thank you for keeping it in the back of your head! I had such a blast writing it. I don't know why it's not mentioned over there. I guess, because I had written it solely for FanFicFanatics so anything that wasn't posted on this site didn't make the cut. There a couple others that I had written on FFF that I never posted here or just never finished. I appreciate your support so much and I'm sorry for withdrawing everything. If I'm going to change names and make edits and re-writes, I think it's best to have it out there in a venue where I can try to make a living off what I do. I hope you understand and I really am thankful for your well wishes. Thank you so much! xo Harley
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    (#) pyrotechnicist 2012-08-02 03:48:58 AM

    I cant believe i found this so late, but came back looking all over the internet for your wonderful stories!

    Best of luck with all of your publishing and writing your stories really are amazing and i wish i had half the writing talent, inspiration or creativity that you obviously do.

    In terms of buying them on amazon kindle when they go up; what name should we look for?

    Again, best of luck for the future! I will definately miss coming back and rereading all of your amazing stories.

    Author's response

    Thank you for remembering my stories and taking the time to search me out! I appreciate it and the support so much! You guys always leave me speechless and, as a writer, that's awkward. lol

    Wow, when it comes to real name vs. surname, to be honest I still haven't decided. I haven't written at all since we closed the site we bought. It's been hard finding work out here for me and the stress of just trying to get by really took its toll on my imagination. I kept thinking things would just fall back into place once I wasn't so stressed but the stress hasn't lessened any. Right now, it's even more intense. I'm moving back East to be closer to my Family, who are all up and down the middle of the East Coast. From our site, I'm sure you know how tight Smooshy and I are and after living across the street from each other for 2 1/2 years it's going to be hell being 1000 miles away again. So the stresses continue to build. On the upside, I'll be living in Virginia with an amazing view of mountains everyday and, once I'm settled, I know exactly what to write. I've had an idea in my head since the old site and I've just needed the head-space to be able to write it. And once I start again, this time there will be no stopping. So that includes re-editing all my old stories and getting them out to Amazon too. It'll take a little time to afford the ISBN numbers so that Amazon won't own any of my publishing rites and I can take them with me to any publishing house that may want them in the future, but the plan is all set. Besides, I'll need to remove all traces of My Chem names. Luckily, I've never written about who the guys are as actual people so I've got my characters intact. There's a lot of editing around the sexual content as well. As much as I love some of those scenes that were pivotal to each story, SO many of them were gratuitous and really just didn't move the story in the way I want to be known for. I'm not a slash writer anymore. It's just not who I am. And to be fair, it always made me feel bad that one day one of the My Chem guys could accidentally come upon one of the stories and I can't imagine the horror of having their name and image attached to those stories. lol I write really dark fiction (and that won't change), but the guys were just a medium for me to get my stories out and have people read them. They'll always be inspirational to me though. I like who they are as people and I believe in each one of them as individuals and as a whole band. I'm stoked that they're working on a new album and you can bet I'll be writing to it and hitting their shows. For now, I want to focus on my characters having names of their own, and for my stories to have content of their own without relying on sexual content being a bigger focus than the storyline. Is any of this making any sense? I realize I'm all over the place, back and forth and spilling out way more than you asked for regarding what name to look for...which I still haven't answered. lol Sorry about that too. When I'm writing and editing and posting on Amazon Kindle, I'll post here for sure with the official name, mine or my Harley surname, and a link to where everyone can find it if they're interested. It's because of you guys that I've been able to write and explore and figure out what kind of a writer I am and what I want to say. I've always tried to write stories that may not reinvent the wheel, but tell a new story of where that wheel has been. I'll never be able to thank you all enough for that. So to make a long story short, (too late!), THANK YOU! Thank you for everything! I'll be back east this fall, staying with my cousin until I'm on my feet and settled. It'll be a few months before I'm writing but like I said, I know just where to start. I hope you'll like it and I'll definitely let you know as soon as it happens. Thank you SO very much! xo Harley
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    (#) MyFriendsCallMeFrank 2012-08-23 11:07:07 PM

    I had lines from stories stuck in my head and couldn't remember what story they were from so I figured I'd re-read some of them, and then I find this!! D: Recently I've really started feeling like the queen of "being out of the loop". But I guess that's what I get for reading books in stead of interweb-fic...
    But I'm so excited! I actually started reading REAL paper books! A friend of mine thought I was joking when I told her I read a book. I was excited that I read A book last year, I've read 3 in the last 2 months, and I'm half way through a 4th. It's scary, isn't it? :p
    But anyway, I'm so sad to see that you've taken all the stories down, but I can't wait to see what you come up with next! I'm always excited like a 3 year old with a lollipop to see what the next brew in your literary cauldron is.
    In reading some of the other responses, now I also have an urge to bug my parents for a kindle. :p
    I can't wait to see you as a published author, that would make my year. X)
    I hope you'll keep us updated on how that's going, I know you've already got an excellent fan base.
    Hopefully I'll be able to remember to check back more often. Life is good making me forget to do so.

    -Frankie :)

    Curiously (if you don't mind me asking), what part of VA are you moving to? I live in MD, and my parents tend to be-bop all over the tri-state area. I'd love to run into you some day. :3

    Author's response

    Long time no hear, Frankie! It's amazing how I remember you all by your handles. lol First of all, thank you SO much for coming back and looking for the stories! And for remembering parts of them too!

    Secondly, I LOVE that you're reading paper books!! lol I swear, if reading physical books ever becomes old I'm excited to start out with Kindle. It's such a fast way to reach people, and cheaper too. I suppose it's green as well; not using gas to go to the store, not killing trees for the paper, etc. But I will still always love the feeling of holding a paper book in my hands and marking the page; seeing how much story I still have ahead of me by the placement of the marker in the width of the book; the sound of a spine cracking when I get to the middle of a hardback; the worn bend of a softback that reminds me just how many times I've loved it; the scent of brand new book that escapes as you flip the pages. I love those little things so much that they're big to me! I love that you're enjoying holding a story in your hands as well as your your head and heart. I think that's beautiful.

    Thank you so much for your excitement over what's to come and your support! They both mean the world to me and I can't express enough gratitude! I will DEFINITELY keep you all updated and you'll be the first to know once I'm back out there. I'll post a message on here as well as start a new message to try to reach as many of you as possible.

    I never say exactly where I am because, well, it's the internet. lol I've had my fill of crazy readers who crossed some serious boundaries, and lies with the whole Penelope Couper, figlio_vampiri, Cancer hoax. I know you're not one of the crazies. lol Don't get me wrong. It's just that even though I'm talking to you, others will read it too. I can say I'll be outside of Charlottesville, VA and looking forward to a view of the mountains, hopefully. And I grew up in MD! Silver Spring just outside of DC! I think you and I talked about that once. I'll ask where in MD you're from, but I totally understand if you can't say for the same reasons above. lol I'd love to run into you someday too! Maybe one day there will be a book signing? lol Wishful thinking. But if I ever move back to MD maybe we can trade emails or something and set up a meet? Thank you so much again, Frankie! xo Harley
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    (#) MyFriendsCallMeFrank 2012-08-24 10:33:48 PM

    I always enjoy hearing from you, I don't know why but I always get the biggest kick out of getting replies to any e-mails I send. :p
    And I know that feeling that you're talking about now! I started this reading "binge" back in June with Les Miserables (I found an abridged version, thank GOD.), and then Perks of Being A Wallflower, and I tried to read something "age appropriate" for once and it was actually really good! It's called Right Behind You. It's about this kid named Kip who at age 9 is admitted to a mental institution in Alaska for setting a kid on fire and when he's 14 they let him out and he moves to Indiana, and then it's just him trying to figure out what "normal" life is. It was great for something aimed at teenagers. :p
    But now I'm onto Water For Elephants and I can't put it down!! I've never been huge on the sappy romance stuff but this one is great. :) Unfortunately I have to put it away for a while. With school starting, even though I'm home schooled, I have to read certain books, and my first assignment is to read Benjamin Franklin's auto-biography.
    Luckily it's only 150 pages, but it's got small print and it's really wordy. AND it's in old English which I'm not looking forward to, but, oh well. C'est la vie.

    I totally understand not wanting to give out information, oh the stories I could tell....
    But anyway, considering they're pretty large counties, I'm fine with putting a little info out there. I'm right in between Harford county and Cecil county, on the Harford side.
    That's awesome! One of the thing's I've always loved about MD (especially where I am) DE, VA, PA, it's all a stone's throw away. When I was a younger munchkin, we used to go on tons of field trips to Philly. I can't count how many time's I've been the university museum of archaeology and anthropology. :p
    Getting side tracked! But anyway, I know where Silver Spring is! It's relatively close to College Park right?
    And I would love to swap e-mails sometime. That'd be great. :D And as much as I'd love to set up a meet, I'm only 15, almost 16, and fate managed to place me with some of the most neurotic, paranoid parents ever. Not that they'd be wrong in being suspicious or cautious about random people from the interweb, but if i said I wanted to meet some person I found on the internet they'd assume the absolute worst.
    Like Jefferey Dahmer, or Ted Bundy worst.
    They're insane (my parents are too. ha ha ha...).

    Well, my typing is getting sloppier by the minute, my eyes hurt, I'm making bad jokes, it's around 1:30am and I have to be up early tomorrow. I should probably quit while I'm ahead. :p

    - Frankie :)

    Author's response

    Always a pleasure, Frankie! The book sounds really interesting and it's always nice to read a story that hasn't been done a thousand times. It tends to be boring when you're told what to read. I remember having to do a book report as a kid and my Mom said I should do it on Juliette Lowe, the founder of The Girl Scouts. I was far less than enthused. A chapter in though, I read how when she was little, her parents and brother were scalped by Indians in front of her. :O !!!! Imagine MY surprise! I developed an irrational fear of Girl Scout Camping Trips after that book report. lol Yeah, I know the area. It's really pretty out your way. And yes, Silver Spring is pretty close to College Park. I got my first apartment out in CP way back when. So, 15, huh? That means when my stories were up and you were reading you I don't even want to do the math on that one. lol So much for warning ratings. lol As for your parents, they're right to be protective. The truth is, people lie and the internet just makes it so much easier. Yes, I'm a good person. But you have no way of proving that and neither do I so I totally understand and appreciate your parents concern. It's good to have people looking out for you. I know it seems oppressive at times, but it really is better to be safe than sorry. :) Good luck with the new school year! xo Harley
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    (#) whitereflections12 2012-11-03 11:41:42 PM

    It's...hard to know what to say to this.

    Most important, I guess, is that I do want to wish you luck. I hope this works out for you, and I hope it makes you happy.

    The thing is, I have to say...this decision is one I've seen play out many times in various fandoms, and it's not one I'll ever respect. I don't say that lightly, and I don't say it without any kind of understanding. I'm a college graduate currently attending grad school to get my MFA; I'm not only going to be teaching college not too far from now, but I'm working on original works of my own I'll hopefully be able to get published in the future. And over my dead BODY would I ever withdraw from fandom.

    I've been a part of the fanfiction world as a reader since I was 13 and a writer since I was 18(ok, I was writing much longer than that, but I didn't put anything online until then). Fanfiction is...I literally don't even have words to describe how much it means to me, the things it does that other mediums simply cannot do. I also can't even begin to describe how it disgusts me to hear people talk about it like it's nothing, like the world of published books is all that matters when it comes to writing, like fanfic is just a stepping stone to what anyone who writes REALLY needs to be doing.

    I do wish you luck, I really do, but if all this ever was to you was a stepping stone, I'm sorry you had to spend so much of it here. I'll miss the stories because they were great, but if all this ever was to you is practice, then hell, I wouldn't want to read them at this point anyway. If you can't take us seriously, I can't possibly take YOU seriously.

    I mean, it's like 50 Shades of Grey...forget the fact that it's sub par fic anyway, I have zero respect for her because she took a story that was supposed to be fanfiction, supposed to be about these characters and belong in fandom, and she slapped other titles on it and tried to make it something else. I'm sorry, but that's so disrespectful. If you've felt all along that your stories had nothing to do with actual fandom, then why the fuck did you post them? Just to get readers? To draw people in with familiar names? There's just nothing about this that sits right with me, not a single thing.

    I had a friend ask me, after the whole 50 Shades thing, if I got the offer to make one of my fics into a book, to strip the names and change it, whether or not I would. I told her no, not for all the money in the world, because that story was as it was meant to be, something worthwhile in and of itself while still being fanfiction. To make it anything less would be to cheapen it...a story is not inherently less worthwhile because it's fic.

    I don't understand how you, as someone who's spent so much time in the fandom community, can view fanfiction that way, as something lesser, something to use to climb the ladder. I won't even go into the whole other topic that's your apparent disdain for fics including lots of sex because I'd just have too much to say, but I really, really don't understand or approve of the insinuation that including sex somehow also makes a story less worthwhile. I don't understand any of it at all. I had a great deal of respect for you once...I hate to see you turn out to be the kind of person I can't respect at all.

    All the same, I've enjoyed your work for years. Murder, Inc. was one of my favorite fics I've ever read. If this is what you want, I honestly do wish you luck. I just also wish you hadn't essentially spit on fandom on your way to finding out what it is you want.

    Author's response

    First let me say, I appreciate your honesty. Secondly, I'm not at all offended by anything you said and thank you for wishing me luck with what it is I want to do. I do want to explain some things so we're on the same page and you don't get the wrong idea.

    I personally don't see anything wrong with wanting to write fanfiction and also wanting to be a published writer. Being an author for a living has always been what I've wanted. I've never made a secret of that, nor would I ever apologize for it. It's who I am and it's in my blood as it always has been. I just love to write. To write as a career has always been my ultimate goal - once I feel I'm ready. Fanfiction gave me a home and a voice where I could experiment and grow as a writer. I would never knock that. I'm grateful for what this place has given me and for all of the people I've gotten to discuss stories with and get to know as friends. In a million years, I would never "spit on" that. It's because of writing here for so long that I've been able to really explore who I am as a writer and learn what I like in my writing and what I don't. That's not using the fandom, it's growing as a writer.

    Let me also say, I'm not angry and I'm not sure how this is all reading. A lot of times, in person-to-person messaging, text can be written one way and read another. There's no real inflection on anything so a sentence can be taken different ways. I just can't bring myself to put smiley faces after each paragraph. lol But I wanted to be very clear so there is no mistaking anything: I'm just explaining where I'm coming from so you'll understand.

    Anyway, back to the basics. As far as the sex in my stories, did I like writing it at the time? Abso-freakin-lutely! lol Obviously I did, or it never would have been in there. But did every single chapter need to have it? No. Does that mean I don't enjoy other people's stories who do have sex in every single chapter? No. lol I enjoy it very much. But it's not who I am as a writer anymore. I want my stories to speak for themselves and I feel like I had so much explicit sex that the story got lost inside it at times. And that doesn't sit right with me when I look at my own work. It's a personal preference that I make in regards to my own work, not a knock at anyone else. I'm 35, I've moved back and forth across the country, known some amazing and some terrible people and my world has completely changed since I wrote here last. I'm not the same person and I'm not the same writer. I want to focus more on the darkness of stories and characters. Like I said, there will probably still be sex, just not as much as there used to be. It's not a jab at anyone, just my own preference for me and where I'm at in my life and my writing.

    When it comes to my characters not being My Chem-related, I've said that upfront from the beginning. Yes, true to fanfiction I've used their names and faces, but with no reflection on the true character of the real people themselves. A lot of people, not all, write fanfic characters close to the vest of what they believe to be the nature of the real people, or how they want them to be in their minds. My characters have always been the farthest thing I could imagine from who I think the guys might be. At least I hope so. lol My characters were thought up a long time before I found fanfiction and I inserted them onto names and faces, not the other way around. I think it's awesome to have a place where I can tell my stories through an outlet where we're all seeing the same faces on characters and can talk about chapters together, while sharing an admiration for a band we all love. That's Aces to me! And I also get feedback as to how I'm doing; what works and what doesn't. The final say is always mine, but it's nice to understand how things are received. It gives me a better grasp on how stories read. Like I said, sometimes things don't write and read the same way to different people. Sorry, tangent. What I'm saying is, my dark characters were around before the band started. I wrote here because I love the band and the creativity people had here in showing their adoration for music and writing by combining the two. I wholeheartedly agree with 50 Shades of Grey being sub par and I don't get the draw at all. To be fair, I've only read a couple lines here and there, not the whole book but I don't think that matters for what we're talking about. What she did was write a story based on another author's characters so she could make money off it. I have no respect for that at all. When fanfiction writers write about another author's characters, it's to pay tribute to the original author for creating characters the person admires. They make no profit off it and they pay homage to the original creator. All in fun. I always wrote my fanfiction based on my original characters and used real people's names and faces so my case is a little different. I'm the creator of my own characters and they have nothing to do with the names or faces. Not a Sound is the only exception because it was the first one I wrote and I didn't quite grasp how far out with characters I could reach so I kept them in a band, etc. But I learned quickly and I found what I liked and what I didn't. But even then, the characters were already in my head before I found fanfiction. I just adapted things. I don't think it's disrespectful in the slightest for me to take own characters and change their names to sell a story that's entirely mine. I find that very fair.

    I'm trying to figure out where you're coming from when you wonder why I posted them at all, because I want to understand. Were the characters mine before fanfiction? Yes. Do my characters stand alone without the band's names and faces? Yes. I'm not apologetic for those things. That's how it happened and I'm very comfortable with it. My stories were adapted FOR the fandom. It was my way of combining my own dark stories with a fandom that I love. Did I want to get readers? Yes, of course. To be able to share a love of this band and of writing with other people who like the same things AND get feedback is incredible. I can write what I want, enjoy this band, meet others with common interests AND grow as a writer? Yes, sign me up! lol These are the reasons I came here and I don't find anything wrong with that. I'm not sure if I'm not understanding what you're saying or if you understand where I'm coming from but just don't agree. If it's the former, please let me know. If it's the latter, then I hope I cleared things up. If you understood this all along already, then I'm sorry to say we'll have to agree to disagree. I do appreciate your honesty and that you shared it with me.

    If I can't be taken seriously because of all these things then I'm disappointed people may not understand, but I can live with it. I can't please everyone and I understand that. I just want you to know where I'm coming from so you're not still under the impression that I hate the world of fanfiction or look down on those who write it. I want to be very clear that this is where I started and I'm grateful for it. I tried to make that clear in my original post. I've grown because of this fandom and I'm appreciative of that too. It's helped me immensely and I feel like I've given back in return for that. At least I hope so.

    Sorry for the long response. I'm in transition right now moving back East and have no internet so when I can get on, I'm in it for the long haul. lol Feel free to respond, although it may be a while before I can get back to you. Please just be patient and I'll get it and respond as soon as I can. Thank you again for being honest with me and I hope you appreciate my honesty as well. I understand you're angry but I hope I cleared some things up. As for whether you can respect me or not, that's entirely up to you. I will say good luck with teaching and writing! I taught children, not college, but I know how hard, as well as rewarding, it can be. The same goes for writing! Thanks again, Harley
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    (#) fire_girl96 2013-09-15 08:32:15 AM

    I miss these stories, I wish they where still there to read :,)
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    (#) stake_my_heart 2014-08-11 08:46:38 PM

    Seriously missing your stories, Harley! I'll probably wait until forever until your stories are published, if I'm being honest, and if/when they do... Well, I'll definitely be buying them all! Hope your move to the East was successful and that you are doing well. Much love from a fan since 2009!


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