Frank was in an accident and Gerard keeps going to visit him, but neither can wait forever. Frerard oneshot.
Tuesday 2nd October.
Gerard Way walked through the sliding doors into the hospital again, the familiar surroundings still not comforting him the way the sight of his own house, or his brothers did. It's because he knew what was waiting for him down the sterile corridors. Passed the nervous family members and stressed doctors, he was waiting.
Frank was waiting.
That's how Gerard liked to say it, waiting. He knew, in reality, things were different, but he still liked to pretend. It was sort of as if Franks soul had gone on holiday, but would return soon, smelling of sun and foreign places, exhausted and bringing gifts which didn't really hold any value.
In the same respect, Gerard was waiting, waiting for Frank to come back from his holiday and everything to be alright again, just like it always was when Frank was around.
He waved to the familiar receptionist who nodded and gave him a sympathetic smile. Gerard had been a regular sight at the hospital in the last couple of weeks, since the...accident.
He could probably make his way to Frank blindfolded, but he kept his eyes open. Third floor, fifth door on the left.
He entered the small room and the familiar beeping sound filled his ears. He smiled at Frank on the bed, tube going into his mouth and wires in both wrists, connecting to the machines either side of him.
'Hey Frank,' Gerard said softly.
At first, the talking had been weird. Gerard had gotten angry, he didn't see the point of talking to Frank if he wasn't fucking there, but after a week or so, it became comforting to Gerard.
He was certain Frank was listening and imagined how he would reply.
He sat on the worn, brown leather chair next to Franks bed, resting his arms on the thin wooden armrests.
'It feels warmer in here, I hope you're not too hot. It's probably because of the recent weather, it's getting a lot colder, you know. Winters really drawing in. It'll be your birthday soon Frankie, Halloween.' Gerard smiled sadly down at the unconscious man next to him.
'I hope you're awake for it,' he whispered. Frank didn't reply, just stayed motionless, as usual, his eyes closed and his arms limp. The sight used to make Gerard's heart hurt, but it's transformed into a dull ache over the weeks.
'Hey, guess what?' Gerard said suddenly, 'Mikey and Alicia are fucking engaged! They're gonna get married, Franks. Mikey asked me to be his best man and of course I said yes. They hope the date will be sometime in May next year, isn't that awesome, Frank? Hopefully you'll be...back from holiday by then.'
As Gerard stared down at Frank and thought about the holiday he was on, he remembered something Frank had once said to him.
'One day,' he'd said, 'I'm gonna go to New Zealand.' Gerard had looked at him, confused.
'Why New Zealand?' he'd asked. Frank had merely smiled at him.
'Because people say its the closest thing you can get to heaven on Earth.'
Gerard smiled at the memory.
'I bet that's where you are, right Frank? New Zealand, heaven on Earth.' Gerard sighed as he reached out and took one of Franks hands in his. It was warm, yet limp and lifeless, almost as if it was being preserved, as if he was waiting.
Gerard stayed for his usual two hours before leaving, giving Frank his usual kiss on the forehead as he said goodbye.
Wednesday 31st October.
Gerard didn't normally visit on Wednesdays. He generally visited on Tuesday's, Thursday's, Fridays and Sundays. But today isn't any old Wednesday.
Today is Frank's birthday.
When Gerard entered the room, tapping the card in his hand lightly against his left thigh, he was not the only one there. Franks mother and father were sat next to his bed, Linda gripping one of her sons lifeless hands in her own. They both smiled weakly at Gerard as he entered.
They knew how much Frank meant to Gerard, and vice versa, so they liked knowing Gerard visited a lot.
'I brought a card,' he said, holding up the blue envelope. Linda smiled at him.
'That's lovely. Do you want to open it for him?' Gerard looked at Frank, almost asking him if he was allowed to open the card for him.
Of course, Frank said yes.
Gerard had drawn the card himself. The front was a picture of Frank and him, in New Zealand, happy. The inside read:
I love you
One day, we'll get there
He placed his card next to the one from Franks parents on the table. They both smiled.
'We'd better go, we've already been here a while,' Linda said, letting go of Frank's hand and standing up.
'Thanks for being there for him, Gerard,' she said on her way out, 'I know it would mean a great deal to him.' Gerard smiled.
'Thank you for being there for him too,' he replied. They shut the door and left Gerard alone with Frank and the beeping noise.
He looked down at his boyfriend, reaching over to brush a strand of hair out of his face.
'Happy birthday Franks. Twenty seven, huh? You're getting old.'
Gerard could practically feel Franks playful slap and his half-assed 'fuck you.' He sighed and sat down.
'I keep thinking, Frank, what if you never wake up? What if, you're on holiday forever, like the plane has been delayed but it really never turns up at all and you're just stuck, waiting. It sounds selfish, but I think about what will happen to me. I'll have to go on, without you. I'll never leave you Frank but at the same time, I can't always stay. I need you to wake up, I need-I need you to be okay, Frankie.'
Tears had started to fall from Gerard's green eyes, his shoulders shaking slightly. He cried silently, thinking of how fragile Franks existence is. As long as he's waiting like he is now, his life is on a knife edge, he could fall at any time, get tired of waiting and come back, or slip away for good. It's almost as if Frank is reaching out for his soul, for himself, but it keeps getting dragged further out of his reach, the closer he gets.
Gerard sighed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.
'I'll always be waiting, Frank,' he whispered, before taking Franks hand in his and singing to him softly for the remainder of the two hours.
Tuesday 8th November.
The room is still warmer than the rest of the hospital when Gerard enters and he's glad, he doesn't want Frank to get cold. He's soaking wet from the pouring rain outside but he smiles at Frank.
'Hi, Franks,' he says, 'it's getting even colder out now it's further into November. We're all freezing our asses off out there in the pouring rain and you're all cosy and warm in here.' Gerard's heart ached at his words.
He knew, if Frank had a choice, he would be running around outside like an excitable child. Frank had always loved winter, especially rain. He would jump into puddles and try to drink the droplets, more often than not breaking out into a rendition of Singing In The Rain.
Gerard smiled thinking about how foolish his boyfriend could be.
'You'd love it out there right know, Frankie. You'd drag me outside even though you knew I hated rain. I'd always go with you though, I couldn't deny that glint in your eyes.'
Gerard was talking to Frank for about an hour when the door swung open. Gerard was startled but quickly recovered when he saw Linda standing in the door way.
'Hello Linda,' he said, smiling. She smiled back a weak, pained smile.
'Gerard, I need to talk to you. Out in the corridor, please.' He let go of his grip on Franks hand and followed Linda outside.
'What's wrong?' he asked, nervous. Linda sighed.
'Gerard honey, Franks been like this for two months now with no improvement, and the doctors don't see any happening any time soon. So, I've made the decision to...to turn his machine off and...let him go.'
Tears were welling up in both their eyes as Gerard's heart began to pound against his ribcage.
'No, no no no, you can't! Not Frank, not now. Please.' Gerard begged. Linda placed a hand on his shoulder.
'I know it's hard honey, it's hard for all of us, but we've got to let him go.'
Gerard began to sob quietly, poisonous tentacles wrapping around his heart and devouring it whole, the pain in his chest almost too much to bear. Linda was rubbing her hand along the top of his arm, comfortingly, but it still did nothing to stop the tentacles slithering through Gerard's entire body, leaving him feeling numb and empty
'When,' he choked out.
'Today,' Linda replied, 'You can have a moment to say goodbye.'
Gerard entered the room again, the sight of Frank not causing him to feel anything, his insides had already been ripped to shreds. He walked over to the bedside and stared down at him.
'Frankie, I've come to say goodbye,' he said, voice cracking slightly, 'I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you and I always will. You were the most...the most a-amazing person I've ever met and you-you made every one around you feel better by simply being you. You are so b-beautiful and you could never see it. You made me who I am today, you made me a better person. So goodbye, Frank.' Gerard leant in and placed a kiss in the younger mans forehead.
'One day,' he whispered.
He walked outside and stared at the wall for what felt like hours. He didn't move or say anything until he heard the beeping stop. Then he got up, not saying a word or shedding a tear, and walked slowly home.
Wednesday 9th November.
Gerard held the gun to his temple, tears pooling in his eyes.
'Heaven on Earth, hey Frankie,' he said, 'our little heaven on Earth.'
He pulled the trigger, knowing somehow that neither of them were waiting anymore, but that the holiday would last forever.