A small blonde figure clad in black skinny jeans sat curled up in a ball under a gnarled sycamore tree deep in the woods . A ghostly white moon filtered through the branches that criss-crossed over...
His heart wrenched , feeling as thought it was going to burst straight through his chest , his light grey t-shirt . He was worthless , unwanted . Everytime he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror his stomach churned , sickened by the pale skin , the dead hazel eyes framed by messy blonde , the disgusting worthless piece of shit he was . How could anyone stand to look at him , to touch him . No one wanted him, he had been screwed over countless times by both friends and girlfriends alike , used , cheated on , laughed at , looked down on .
Always an outsider , silly grin plastered on his faces as he stood on the edge of the group , trying to involve himself but always being shunned , never full accepted , just tolerated . Dropped by his closest friends whenever a better offer arose . Whispers behind his back , rumours started by idle minded gossiping girls that he had never even spoke to . He couldnt take anymore , all the small seemingly meaningless remarks and moments had culminated , bubbling over , consuming the last ounce of happiness , the final shred of hope . The feeling of utter hopelessness and despondency that live deep within him that he managed to keep under control most of the time swelled and burst , leaking into his veins and arteries , flowing into every orifice until no light remained .
He whimpered involuntary , unable to control himself , the pain of his thoughts too much to bear . No one knew of the monster that lived within him , the depression that he couldnt remember not having , he was Gerard , the crazy artsy kid that sat at the back , got good grades , had a few good friends but didn't really fit in , good at alot if things but remarkable at nothing . His deep hidden depression was his defining feature , something that never showed on the surface . Easily forgotten . He tilted his head back feeling the roughness of the bark against the back of his neck and his scruffy hair . He wondered if they'ed go to his funeral . Probably the school would make them . He could just imagine it . His classmates , in perfect uniform , all lined up solemnly ready to offer their condolences to the grieving family , a few tears being shed , the class drama queen being carted off outside as she broke down in hysterics . Insincere words echoing through the church 'Gerard Way , Loving son / brother , Good student , Caring friend- a terrible tragic loss ' and then they would all go home and go about their life's as normal , remembering him occasionally maybe , forgotting about him eventually , every trace of him faded away into nothing .
It would be as if he never existed . He shook his head , pushing limp blonde strands from his forehead , drying the tears from his face . It was time . He reached into the pocket of the deep purple hoodie that he was sitting on and pulled out a long sharp knife and a small plastic container full with small , pure white oblong pills . He stared at the knife as he twisted it around in his hands , the cold metal glinting in the moonlight . He popped the cap of the container and poured the capsules onto his trembling right hand . 34 . He didn't know if it would do the job , but it was all that was left in the cabinet under the sink . He winced as he flashed back to those moments before he left his house for the last time .
A strange sense of calm had overcome him as he padded around the house , pulling his notebook filled with his drawings and deepest secrets from its hiding place under his mattress , grabbing the pills from the bathroom , selecting the sharpest , most deadliest looking knife from the block in the kitchen . He pokes his head around the sitting room door where his mum sat sewing a button onto a faded denim shirt belonging to his brother Mikey while his dad flicked through sports channels 'Heading over to Franks , don't wait up ' He chirped . 'Okay , not too late , Hun ' His mum had replied absentmindedly , too focused on the task in front of her to notice the tear filled eyes of her oldest son . They would miss him at first , but they'ed recover . He knew it was cliched and everyone claimed their family's hated them but it was true , he couldn't remember a time when there were no fights , the last time he saw his mum smile at him . They couldn't understand why he wasn't like Mikey -popular , happy , smart so they blocked him out He closed the sitting room door with a click behind him and silently went from the house , taking one last look at the small white building before starting to walk , in no particular direction until he found himself deep in the woods , not far from the suburb where he lived.
He took a deep breath as he dry-swallowed one at a time til all that was left was the knife patiently waiting its turn . He picked it up and braced himself as he dragged the cool metal vertically down the underside of his left arm . A deep red trench formed , a stark contrast against his deathly white skin . Agony coursed through his veins , numbed slightly by the medication . Hand now violently trembling , he managed to inflict the same wound to his other wrist before the knife fell with a soft thud on the grass . He slumped back against the tree , head spinning as the blood trickled , then gushed down his limp arms , his eyelids drooped as he took his last look at the night sky an eerie moon surrounded by wisps of fog , stars fighting to break through the dense layer that sullied their bright light . He Slumped down to the ground as the life drained from his body , leaving a small crumpled corpse on the blood stained grass , an empty container a notebook and a bloodied knife by its side .
Hey guys , short quick story I just needed to write sorry it's so crap just wrote what I was thinking ... Feel like crap thought writing would help distract me ...but I wont bore you with my depression .. So ya , rate and review please if would mean olot :) Hopefully I won't feel as shit the next time and you'll get a happier story ...
Love as always