I had always failed to understand the crazy obsessions over bands because they "made you feel whole" or "like yourself" or "not as alone anymore" until I heard, I dont love you. My experience of fi...
I was feeling broken.
I was worthless.
I was fat.
I was different.
I was me.
And in my head, that was one of the worst things you could possibly be at that moment.
My grades were slipping, I contemplated cutting, or skipping all the effort and just killing myself.
I kept trying to claw my way up out of an ever increasing black hole of silver tears and sorrow, but no matter what I did I kept sliding back in, covered in a black sticky tar called depression, the whole being eternally deepened by taunt toward my smeared eyeliner or love for Iron Maiden.
I was staggering mindlessly around in a mental mist, that this time, I wasn't sure I could escape.
And then I heard it.
A crooning, lulling voice, dripping with sorrow, sprawling majestic tentacles into my head and pulling out and odd half smile, that I hadn't seen on my face in a while. The voice started to scrub away at the rust that had corroded my mind for the last few months, prepping and dousing in a luxurious bath of heart wrenchingly genuine melodies.
"So take your gloves and get out, while you can" the person spoke to me.
His eyes stared directly into mine, but looked past that, as if he could understand every ounce of confusion and hatred I felt.
All of a sudden, I couldn't breath, I didn't dare speak, I only stared at the being who owned such a voice.
All of the sharp, menacing claws that had dug into my back for so long had begun slipping away. Malicious fangs of self loathing and loneliness had released their fatal grip from my neck.
I was surrounded by perfection. I felt perfection. Beauty pulsed through my veins, escaping my headphones to bury themselves in my heart.
But it wasn't the evil, sinister, mocking thing that had been intruding my chest for so long, it was a ray of sunlight peeking over a cloud during a rain, a rainbow in the sky for Noah, It was hope.
It was love.
It was freedom.
It was music.
It was My Chemical Romance.