FRERARD ONESHOT. Frank reminisces about his times with Gerard.
The small red light flicked on the camera, telling Frank it was recording him. He gave the camera a tiny smile.
The small guitarist looked withered and worn. He had been so restless and broken.
"My therapist suggested I got all this out by recording myself for you."
He paused and another tiny smile came to his chapped lips.
"That sounds wrong, doesn't it? I mean, recording this to get all of the shit out. So... I'm talking to you... And you are the camera... And I'm babbling aren't I?"
He sighed and put his head in his hands.
"I miss you. It has been five years today. But it still hurts. It fucking kills in fact. I cry myself to sleep every night because you aren't beside me. Mikey is depressed too. Sometimes, really late at night, I hear him crying. So I go and get in bed with him and cuddle him, cry with him until we both fall asleep."
Frank lifted his head up to look at the camera.
"Can you remember your last birthday? I do..."
"Wake him up!"
Frank hissed to Mikey. Mikey shook his head, gazing at his sleeping older brother.
"No! Not yet. At twelve o'clock exactly!"
He giggled. Bob walked through, a red bucket in his hands.
He grinned, throwing the ice cold water that filled the bucket over the sleepy dark haired Gerard. Gerard screamed like a girl, sitting up rapidly.
"Happy birthday Gerard!"
They all chorused.
Frank giggled quietly.
"I'm sorry but that was funny."
He grinned. He looked at his hands and nibbled on his bottom lip. He was slient for a few seconds.
"I remember the night you were really sick. You said you just had a fever."
Frank was awoken by a damp feeling beside him. Holy crap. He'd wet Gerard's bed. His eyes shot open to see a very pale, sweaty Gerard. Frank sat up, looking at the gorgeous dark haired male. He was having night sweats. Frank pulled the covers off of him and frowned. This had never ever happened before. And he didn't know what to do. So he shook Gerard awake. Gerard shuddered and opened his eyes.
"Uh, Gee? You are really sweaty."
Frank said awkwardly, biting his lip. Gerard got up quickly.
"Frank, get in your own bed."
He told him. Frank was trying to process what was going on.
"W-what? Why? I don't care if you are sweaty Gerard. I just want to cuddle you."
Gerard shook his head.
"No Frankie, I think I have a fever. I don't want you catching it."
He smiled slightly, showing a few of his tiny little white teeth. He tugged off his shirt and Frank didn't even bother worrying about Gerard catching him staring at his body. Little red spots over Gerard's skin caught his attention. They were like a rash of some sort.
"Gee? What's that? Do you have a rash?"
He asked, getting up and running his fingertips over the skin. Gerard shivered.
"Probably. Just get your ass into your bed, mr."
Frank itched his nose, looking up at the camera.
"It got worse though, right? I made you go to the hospital and you came out the room and told me you were fine. I knew you were lying but I didn't want to cause an argument so I kept quiet. Then, during the months that followed, you closed yourself off. You didn't let me touch you; you never stopped wearing a hoodie. You went out almost every day on a 'walk' and you never let anyone come with you."
His voice cracked as tears began to build.
"Then you finally told me."
Gerard sat with Frankie on the couch, curled into his side. He'd missed his cuddles. They were watching The Lost Boys. They always watched it together. It was like a tradition. Gerard fiddled with Frank's shirt, absorbed into the film. Frank saw the opportunity to wiggle Gerard's hood down. Frank slowly moved the hood down and Gerard jerked back, getting his hood back up.
He said, a taint of hurt etched into his face. Frank whimpered.
"Just take it down. You always have it up."
He begged. Gerard shook his head, his face scrunching up.
"Holy shit. I'm going to be sick."
He groaned. Frank grabbed the first thing he saw which was the popcorn bowl and thrusted it into Gerard’s hands. Gerard vomited for a few minutes before he groaned.
“I’m tired. I want to go to bed.”
He grumbled, putting the bowl down. Frank peeked in the bowl.
“Gerard, that’s blood. You threw up blood?!”
He started to panic and Gerard shook his head.
“Frankie! Calm down. I need to talk to you.”
Frank calmed and looked at Gerard.
“I lied. I’m sorry. I haven’t got a fever Frankie. I said it so you wouldn’t worry. When I went to that hospital I was told… I was told I have leukaemia. I have cancer Frankie,”
Tears were dribbling down Gerard’s cheeks.
“And every time I have gone for a ‘walk’ I’ve actually been going for chemo. I’m sorry…”
He pulled his hood down to show his thinning hair. Frank felt like he was being crushed. Gerard Way had cancer. His world had only around fifty per cent chance of surviving. Tears filled his eyes.
“Yes Frankie. I’m sorry. Come here.”
Frank couldn’t move. So Gerard moved instead, shuffling up to him and hugging him hard.
Frank stared hard into the camera, silent tears falling down his cheeks.
“I wish I could have had it instead of you. To see you go through it killed me. Still does. I still have nightmares.”
His voice was a mere whisper. He fell silent again, thinking hard. He wanted to think of a positive time they shared.
“Oh! The time we… Got kinky.”
He giggled quietly.
“I loved that. One of the best moments of my life. All my best moments include you…”
Frank was spooning Gerard in his bed. It was pretty late and everyone else was asleep. Gerard sighed.
“Frankie. I’m hot.”
He whispered. Frank smirked and nodded.
He teased. Gerard giggled and shook his head. He turned onto his back and looked at him with a small smile.
“Shut it, penisface! No, I mean hot in temperature.”
“Can you take my onesie off for me?”
He asked. Frank sat up and moved over to straddle Gerard.
“Sure Gee Gee.”
He whispered, starting to undoing the little poppers. He undid them all and looked down at him carefully. He slowly, slightly hesitant, leaned down and pressed a small kiss to his neck. He felt Gerard tilt his head to the side so Frank could continue. He smirked and started nipping, sucking, biting and licking Gerard’s neck, earning sweet moans to tumble his lips. Frank could feel Gerard’s bulge in his underwear pressing against his own, making them both moan. Frank slowly started to roll their hips together, Gerard bucking his hips up with need. Gerard started on Frank’s neck whilst he was grinded against. Frank picked up the pace; grinding harder and faster against Gerard. Moans slipped their lips, growing more and more frequent before they finally hit their climaxes, releasing in their boxers. Frank rolled off of Gerard, breathing heavily. Gerard kicked off his onesie and smiled, snuggling into Frank.
“I gave you some fucking awesome hickeys remember?”
He giggled. His face fell.
“Not much happened from then on. You were getting worse and worse and you told Mikey about your cancer. We tried to look after you but you were so sick Gerard. We had to call the hospital. I remember when I distracted you for the nurse. She was a bitch.”
”Frankie! Get her the fuck away from me now!”
Gerard screamed. He was curled up in a hospital bed whilst a very pissed off looking nurse stood with an injection in her hand. Frank sighed.
“Gee, lay out straight; I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.”
He vowed. Gerard looked at him and slowly laid out flat. He’d lost all his hair now and Frank wasn’t quiet used to it yet however he still though Gerard was beautiful. That was one thing that would never change. He gave the nurse a small nod to tell her to do it. Frank leaned down and crushed his lips against Gerard’s. It was the first time they’d ever kissed properly; not a stage kiss. Gerard smiled and kissed him back, not able to feel the brief injection. As soon as Frank pulled away, he wanted to kiss him again and again.
“I’ve waited ages to do that.”
Frank admitted sheepishly. Gerard giggled and blushed.
Frank picked at a thread in his jeans nervously, the tears starting again.
“You were discharged from hospital that week, right? Then you were in an even worse condition than you were beforehand so you had to go back five days later. That was the last day I saw you alive.”
Gerard hugged both Mikey and Frank before they left the hospital.
“I’m okay. Trust me. I love you both, okay? You are the most amazing brother and best friend anyone could have asked for. Go home and sleep.”
He told them. Both the boys nodded, said their goodbyes and left.
It wasn’t until the next morning when they received a call from the hospital Frank and Mikey knew something was wrong. Dread and fear filled Frank. Mikey sped to the hospital in Frank’s car. Frank was too tired to drive. He hadn’t had his morning coffee. They were met by a doctor who led them to a different part of the hospital.
“Mr Way, Mr Iero, I’m afraid it is bad news. Gerard was not able to cope through the night. The cancer had worn him out so much and had gotten considerably worse since we last saw him. He passed early this morning. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Frank wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted it all to stop and he wanted Gerard to pop out from around the corner and laugh because it was all a joke. Then everything would be okay again. He never got to tell him he loved him… More than a friend. He burst into spluttering sobs like Mikey did and gripped the younger Way’s hand, both knowing they needed comfort. The doctor took them into a room where Gerard’s body lay. He was cold, grey and still. His eyes were closed and he was covered by a blanket that reached his armpits.
“Gerard… Please wake up.”
Frank whispered, cupping his soft face in his hands.
“Please Gerard… Please. I love you. You can’t do this to me. I need you Gee. You need to look after me and Mikey… Wake up!”
He screamed. Mikey embraced Frank.
“He is safe now Frankie… He loves you too. Don’t you forget that.”
Frank wiped his eyes.
“I love you Gerard. I miss you, a lot. I am looking after Mikey for you.”
He whispered. He leaned forward and kissed the camera lense.
“Bye bye baby.”