"Let me start this off, none of this was your fault" Ryan/Jon
Let me first say, none of this was your fault, don't even think for a second you caused this. Please, you were the one who gave me hope in life, welcomed me with open arms when me and my dad had a fight. You welcomed with open arms when I told you about me being gay.
You never judged me, I could tell you everything, and you would understand, tell me it's alright, that the world didn't understand my true beauty.
You saw through everything, through the make-up, my being a twig, my shyness. Jon, you were only one who I fully opened up to, the one who I loved and went to school to see. You are the reason I woke up in the morning, smiling because I could see you; perfect brown hair, deep chocolate brown eyes. I love it all, you changed for nobody, you stood up for what you believed in.
That's what made me fall for you, the fact that when everyone was ganging up to kick the shit out of me, watch me fall and laugh their asses off about it. You came and fought, you're my saviour, if it wasn't for you, I would've been long gone by now.
You saved me from myself time after time, when I cut too deep, when I attemted to kill myself before when it all became too much for me to handle. You took it off my back, you stayed with me, every step of the way. You made me feel like nothing else mattered, like someone was there for me, that sense of being alone faded when I met you, yes YOU took away my pain, my sorrow and that wave of lonley-ness that I had been cursed with for so long.
You're reading this, and you heard about...what happen correct? Please Jonny, don't cry, don't feel pain, I am not worth it, I don't want to have to hear my one and only love cry, or in any pain.
If you once feel pain, just remember all the good times we had..like when you would lay on my bed watching me jump around and belt out My Chemical Romance, the way I we curled up and fell asleep together, the way you made me feel alive. Everything good that happened, just leave out all the rest.
I'm sorry it had to end this way, I love you Jon, I really do.
DON'T HATE ME! Please, I got the idea from songs I was listening to, so please don't be like "You dumb bitch, why the hell do you want Ryan gone?!" m'kay?