Brendon is violated by Ray, the usual. Mikey laughs at it, the usual. But Brendon later gives them news that shocks them all.
“Move, you pieces of unicorn turd, can’t you see how depressed I am!?” screeched Mikey as he forced some innocent coffee drinkers to away from his and his friend’s couch. He then collapsed on said couch and sighed audibly. The young man was getting some rather odd looks but that wasn’t too unusual for him. He was, however, managing to make everyone in the small Starbuck’s occasionally jump from his sounds of distress. Bob, the guy who worked at the counter, was about to tell him to shut the fuck up when an energetic man in his early twenties bounded through the door.
“The usual, Brendon?” Bob asked the man who had just arrived. Brendon grinned and nodded, before noticing his odd friend sprawled out on the couch.
“Mikey, what on earth are you doing?” he questioned, bewildered.
“Spencer moved out without giving me any notice!” came a muffled voice; the words were broken apart by the occasional sob. Brendon raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow, he had never heard of a Spencer. As far as he knew, no one in the group had any connections with a person named Spencer.
“Are you saying you had a roommate? One that none of us knew about!?” Mikey just grunted in response and Brendon took the noise as a yes. He was about to get incredibly mad at his friend for being too damn secretive but he was cut off by a loud, obnoxious exclamation behind him.
Brendon could tell who it was instantly, without needing to turn around. His eyes quickly darted around the room searching for an escape route. Mikey also knew who it was and shot up immediately, all signs of sadness were erased from his face. Brendon could see the smirk his slightly taller friend was wearing and knew that he would just torture him with the person who was still stood at the entrance.
“I think my balls just shot back up inside my body.” squeaked Brendon. He closed his eyes tight and hoped that the situation would just evaporate and he could just go back to poking fun at Mikey’s weirdness.
“Ray Toro, I suppose you’re here to see your soul mate?” it was more of a statement than a question from Mikey. He winked playfully at Brendon who was also receiving sympathetic glances from Bob.
“Actually I’m just here for the coffee. Brendon certainly isn’t painful to look at though!” Ray drawled, making sure to add a painfully loud cackle afterwards. His ‘fro moved along with his mad, mad head filled with thoughts about stalking Brendon.
Ray and Brendon had been to the same high school, which was where they had met. Ray had always been openly gay but Brendon was most certainly sure that he was as straight as… well, a straight thing. That hadn’t deterred the man with the large ‘fro though as he kept popping up everywhere Brendon went. That had been happening for a good couple of years and it had gone beyond creepy or terrifying.
Despite the known creepiness though, Mikey still believed that it was a good idea to for the three of them to sit down together. Brendon had to suffer through what felt like hours of budging away from Ray who was getting closer to his… cockular area with every passing second. In reality it had only been ten minutes but even that was enough for a much violated Mr Urie. Luckily a man known as Patrick Stump walked in at the exact moment of Brendon practically being pinned against the edge of the couch.
“RAY, I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN AGES!” shouted Patrick at first sight of the man’s signature ‘fro. They said their hello’s while Brendon fixed his hair before glaring daggers at Mikey who was silently pissing himself with laughter. It was always Mikey who got Brendon into those situations, either accidentally or on purpose.
“It’s strange how you two always bump into each other.” noted Patrick while talking to Ray.
“Our perfect love and destiny is the reason for that.” sighed Ray, twirling some curls of his hair like a school girl and staring at the violated man with wide eyes. They were eyes you would normally see in a mental hospital.
The pretty awkward conversation continued for another twenty minutes before Ray got a call from his office. After he had left, Brendon actually got on his knees and thanked the lord. He then received quite a bit of teasing from Mikey and Patrick before they decided to go to their friend Ryan’s apartment.
I was staring at the nudist who lived in the apartment across the alleyway from me. I didn’t want to be considered a pervert but Jared Leto-‘Sexy Naked Guy’-was pretty damn attractive. Of course my eyes would be drawn to a naked sex God when I can see into his apartment so easily. Obviously I was pretty irritated when a knock on my door disrupted my own twisted version of pervert playboy. I quickly closed the curtains and turned the TV on to make myself look less creepy and answered the door. I saw Mikey, Patrick and Brendon stood there with grins plastered on their faces.
“Oh, hi guys! Come in. I’m guessing you’re here for food but I’m out, want me to call for pizza?” I went into obsessive host mode since I now had people to entertain. No more staring at Jared for me that night, it seemed.
“Ooh, yes, I want meat!” said Patrick to which he received whacks on the arm and reminders that Mikey was a pescetarian and Brendon was a vegetarian. I managed to stop them from fighting too much and told them that it would be easy to just order more than one pizza.
After about two hours we had finished eating and I had made each and every plate absolutely spotless. Hey, I just like cleanliness. We sat, and stood, around the table in my kitchen and started chatting. I made some remarks about cooking and organizational skills while Patrick had started a rant about how much he loved food. After a while, Brendon said something that he seemed to be unsure about telling us.
“You’ll never guess what Gerard told me the other day,” he began.
Chandler - Brendon Urie
Monica - Ryan Ross
Rachel - Frank Iero
Ross - Gerard Way
Joey - Patrick Stump
Phoebe - Mikey Way
Janice - Ray Toro
Mike - Pete Wentz
Gunther - Bob Bryar
Ugly Naked Guy - Jared Leto
Denise (the imaginary roommate) - Spencer Smith