Does Gerard feel the same as Frank? (Little more Frerard!)
The next morning I rolled over in bed to see Gerard, and everything from last night came flooding back. A lump rose in my throat as the guilt returned – the failure – but I swallowed it back, remembering that Gee was right, I wouldn’t have been able to find Ray, and I may have gotten him killed in the process.
He was snoring lightly and I watched him for a couple of minutes, trying to take in every inch of his face, from the tiny hint of a smirk on his lips as he dreamt, to the way his hair fanned out a little behind his head. I tried not to think that this could be the last time I saw him this way… I doubted he’d be sleeping in my bed again, and I couldn’t help knowing there was a high chance one of us, or neither of us, would make it back after the attack. I didn’t want to waste a moment. A thought suddenly popped into my head. ‘Tell him. Tell him how you feel. Just do it, what have you got to lose?’
But I couldn’t. I lay there, staring at him, wishing for this moment to last forever, for me to be with him forever… I loved him. But I couldn’t say it.
Too soon his eyes half opened and he yawned. I pretended I hadn’t been staring and stretched, acting as though I too had just woken.
“Mornin’” He smiled, and I couldn’t stop myself from returning the smile, still thankful that after everything he still stuck by me.
“Morning!” I replied as he hopped out of bed. I had to be more cautious, wincing a little as I put weight on my ankle.
“And you thought you could drive on that...” He muttered, obviously noticing me wince.
“I could have put up with the pain” I retaliated, causing him to roll his eyes at me.
“I never said it was a great plan...” I mumbled; he just smirked in reply.
“We’d, well, I’d better get off to training... Seeing as you still aren’t allowed…” He motioned towards my leg. I nodded, a little sadly, wishing we had more time alone. Much more.
After training; in which I was allowed on the shooting range for about an hour before just sitting at the side, trying not to stare at Gerard, and failing; we all went down to dinner. Thankfully, Gerard hadn’t told anyone about me trying to sneak off last night, so I was still allowed in the meeting where Dr D informed us of some new information he had received about Ray’s whereabouts. We were told that there was now only a small cluster of three rooms which could contain Ray, rather than the whole underground-basement area as thought before.
Gerard kept throwing me wary glances as Dr D told us the new information, probably wondering if I was going to run off again now that I had a better chance of finding him. But Dr D told us about security… Exterminators posted at every door on the way down. Something that we could get through as a group, but had no chance against when alone. Somehow it all just became more real. As I looked around the room, I wondered how many would make it back… With my lack of training and injury, I was the weakest link, likely to be the first to go… The thought scared me, and I mentally cursed myself. Had I not been prepared for death just yesterday? Maybe it was because of Gerard, the fleeting feelings he’d given me last night that he might reciprocate my love for him… As I looked back to him, his eyes were staring into mine, searching, scared… Almost as if he was thinking the same thing I was. But he had no reason to fear. During training he had always shone out as one of the strongest, one of the fastest. I kept my eyes on his until the end of the meeting, before I began to limp back to my room.
As I left the room I suddenly felt arms on my shoulders, guiding me towards my room. It didn’t take three guesses to work out who it was.
“Thanks, Poison.” I smiled as he lifted my arm around his shoulders so he could fully support me. In a couple of seconds we were already halfway to my room.
“I’ll be fine from here… You won’t make it to your room before lights out…” I muttered. His room was all the way upstairs and over the other side of the hall to the way we were walking now, and Dr D only gave a couple of minutes before cutting the power. We needed everyone to be well rested, and didn’t want to bring attention to the building by having it lit up all night.
He looked away as he spoke. “Maybe… Maybe I don’t wanna be in my room tonight…” Hi voice was almost inaudible, and when he looked back for a second I saw a glint of something in his eyes… guilt? Shame? I couldn’t quite put my finger on it… Maybe I was overthinking it.
“Then… Where?” I asked, a little confused, though hoping for a certain answer.
“Well… Erm, I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing again? I just… I slept better last night than I have the whole time we’ve been here and-“
“Gerard.” I whispered, cutting off his ramblings. “You’re always welcome to stay.” I smiled, mentally jumping for joy that he’d said what I was hoping for.
He exhaled loudly, smiling back.
We reached my room and both got into bed, laying on our backs as the lights went out.
“Oh… And Frankie? Don’t stare at people when they’re sleeping…” He giggled as I felt myself flush deep red, glad the light was off. “It’s a little creepy.” He whispered, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek before turning over onto his side, facing away from me.
Yet again I had trouble sleeping, my cheek still tingling from the touch of his lips.