FicWad

Disclaimer - You are Harry Potter. Sadly someone else owns your rights. Maybe if you ever get control of this fortune you supposedly have, you can hire a good lawyer and try and get your rights back from this JKR woman. Until then, it sucks to be you.

Acknowledgements - IP82 deserves much credit for this chapter. Nukular Winter, FairyQilan, Sirius009, ChuckDaTruck and JMCGK6 all also helped this chapter take shape. Thanks to all the insane folk who commented at Darklordpotter.

Chapter 7 - Drunk Every Friday

Dear Harry,

Well now that you mention it, Barry Potter sits in the middle of my candle shrine to you. Now if you will kindly send some hair, blood and toenail clippings, I can complete my ritual. Please remove any nasty stuff from the toenail clippings. Hopefully, you aren't that gullible! Actually, Barry is on a shelf above my dresser. We never did marry, but if rumors are to be believed Barry may have cheated on Ginny with me once or twice in a torrid affair. After all, he was my stuffed animal!

How is freedom today? Sweden is beautiful! I am currently catching a rather nice sunrise and writing you instead of writing a History of Magic essay. You know something has always been bugging me, how does Binns grade our essays if he is a ghost? Maybe a house elf shuffles the papers for him. Guess we shouldn't let that slip to Hermione. Then again, maybe we should tell her that and watch her get all bent out of shape! It'll be fun.

Me and Ronnieknis! Oh, hell no! Looney flirts with him because it yanks Hermione's chain something fierce and poor Ronald wouldn't have the faintest idea what to do with a girl that is interested in him and not cooking him dinner. He is about as thick as you can get and I am glad that you can't see the 'real me' and him together either. You should see how skittish Anthony Goldstein is around me. He's convinced Looney is stalking him - paranoia is such a wonderful thing!

How did the shopping trip go? You'll have to forgive me, but I think I rate more than just a simple T-shirt. Better come up with something better than that Mr. Boy-Who-Lived! That said if you see anything that Looney might want or would fit in with her by all means pick it up. Since you say that you are near a beach, a nice seashell necklace would go well with Butterbeer caps, corks and radishes.

Well that's about all for now. Go get into trouble, it's what you do best.

Luna

PS - It's been a day and a half since I wrote this. Don't make me go all "Looney" on you! Write soon - or else!

Yup. The girl is a whack job. No doubt about it. When you think about it, she does manage to baffle Ron and irritate Hermione to no end. The knowledge that she is doing this on purpose makes it that much more amusing.

Closing the journal you take a look around the kitchen of the camp tent. It's a little cramped, but you can work with it. Right now you have a stew cooking and some bread in the oven. You take a moment to reflect on your first two days out in the jungle. It's not as hot as you expected, which is a good thing. There are more bugs than you expected, which is not so good. Sanchez actually found a way to make you realize that a female can be a prick after all!

Your studying has gone well. Thundercloud was trying to help you with your apparition. You seemed to have had a bit of a mental block. He was getting very philosophical on you, when the Korean hitwizard Kwan took it upon himself to help you past your little mental problem.

"You! Boy! Apparate now!" The Korean didn't mince words. He pretty much sliced and diced them. His 'Engrish' is pretty hard to understand. Mentally, you picture Kwan, Fleur and Hagrid trying to have a conversation about how to speak proper English with their horrible accents. You close you eyes and concentrate on the feeling of moving yourself from one spot to the other. If you were a member of the round table, your name would have been Sir Splinchalot. The strange thing is you almost never repeat which body part you leave behind.

"Crucio!" The spell breaks you out of your reverie as it slams into you and knocks you off your feet. The agony lasts only a brief second, before the hitwizard cancels the spell. He obviously wasn't really wishing you pain. You look up at the short wiry man and wipe the spit from the side of your mouth. It wasn't in the Dark Tosser's league, but it still hurt like nobody's business.

"What the hell did you do that for?" You scream.

"You think too much! It's why you fail. Now get up and apparate! Each time I add a second to my spell. Don't want to be hit with it, then don't be where I cast it. Crucio!" It wasn't fair you weren't ready for it!

The little fucker managed to get up to eight seconds before you finally got it right. Once you got to the other circle and realized everything else was with you, you sneered at him.

"Good now we do again. Back to one second. Crucio!" At least the sadistic bastard smiled this time. He never got above five seconds after that.

After four consecutive times where you had successfully dodged him, Kwan looked up and smiled again. "Enough. You will hurt soon enough from doing all that apparition. Take a pain potion and start my lunch. We will do this again tomorrow. I add two seconds each time tomorrow."

Kwan was right. You spent the rest of the day in agony up with 'Apparater's Cramps', which are supposedly a bit more painful that most female's monthly visitor, but nowhere near the pain of childbirth. He had the balls to mock you at both lunch and dinner. The little Korean was willing to teach you, but damn if his lessons didn't make you suffer. The other hitwizard, Jacob Collins hadn't really taken any interest in your education. Hell, up to then Kwan hadn't either! You thanked him the next day and were surprised by his response.

"If you can't apparate, you are a liability! I'm not risking my life to save a stupid cook who can't apparate! Now draw circles! We begin again."

Two hours later, you are hunched over the dining table gritting your teeth as you deal with your second bout of 'Apparater's cramps and trying to catch up on your writing.

Dear Luna,

First, let me apologize for not getting back to you in two days. I have been really busy. I cook three meals a day for six people and stay up from ten at night until two in the morning. The group has told me that I will make someone a wonderful 'wife' someday, so I guess my cooking passes muster. Our other night watchman wakes me up at six, so I can start the cooking all over again. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to the weekend! I usually catch about three hours of sleep after lunch. So, not a lot of time for me to get into trouble, but I am sure I will manage somehow.

I finally got the hang of apparating at least the short distances. I have a sadistic hitwizard to thank for it. Thanks to his tender care, I don't splinch myself anymore. He said I was thinking too much. I know you are probably laughing right now, but I never thought it would happen either! I am getting an education on runes and warding. I wish I had taken them instead of divinatation. I am learning how to carve some basic runes into sandstone right now. My tutor says we will move on to harder materials later. It's tough going, but so far I have six intruder ward stones that cover about a five square meter area. I actually saw a small lethifold last night and had to drive it away with my patronus. It was kind of weird like a little floating grey black carpet. The real intruder wards picked it up, but I think mine would have caught it before it reached the tent. Our guide saw it too, he at least complimented me on my patronus, but he said that I should have waited to see if it would come further into the camp first. I guess a bright white light in the darkness of the jungle can attract unwanted attention from things that aren't driven off by a patronus.

The guide is an American Indian. He is also an eagle animagus. It would be nice to learn how to be one, but I already have so much to do this summer. He has been showing me some practical transfiguration and a couple of really useful charms, when I haven't been incapacitated with Apparater's cramps. Believe the stories. They're as bad as everyone says! He showed me a vision charm that allows you to see heat patterns like Goblins do underground. It's dead useful in a pitch black jungle. I really could have used it back in the Chamber of Secrets! I'll put in the wand movements and the incantation below for you to try sometime. Don't do it during the daytime!

The best part about being out here is I don't feel my connection to El Dorko Lordo anymore, sorry, that's what I am calling him lately. I haven't slept this well in years. It almost makes up for my piss-poor sleeping habits. The rest of our party pretty much leaves me be. There busy checking out some ruins and whatnot. It would be nice to go with them, but there is only so much I can do in a day. I wish I had brought Dobby along. When I am not studying Runes or practicing apparation, I am making some nice headway on sixth and seventh year defense textbooks and a couple of old dueling manuals I picked up along the way. Gee, I really didn't bring my summer assignments along with me. I am so disappointed. Can you tell how disappointed I am?

So far it hasn't been much of a vacation, but I feel like I am learning more after two days in the jungle than two weeks at school. I do hope you are having a nice relaxing time in Sweden. Sorry, there will be no blood, hair or toenail clippings. That's disgusting by the way. Hope this doesn't ruin your little ritual.

Your friend,
Harry

With that you write the Infravision incantation and diagram the wand movements for her to see. It takes you another ten minutes, but you bet she'll like it if she can find a way to try it out without getting a nasty owl from Hopkirk. You wonder if that damn witch enjoys her job making sure little children can't perform magic? You add her to the list of people who's asses need kicking just on principle alone.

You notice your letter makes no mention of three Canadian girls or Karina. It's not exactly casual conversation with a friend of opposite sex. 'Oh yeah Luna, my first night here I got pissed and some little blonde had to get me back to my hotel room and the next night a woman ten years older than me showed me how to do the nasty.' Nope, not exactly an item for casual conversation. Plus you don't kiss and tell. Up until Cho, you didn't kiss either. You wonder if you should see Karina on the weekend. It's actually been bothering you. If you go back, does that make her a whore? Bill doesn't have any good answers for you on this one. He merely recommended that if you go and see her, to not offer any money and not talk about it unless she brings it up. So much for Mr. I have all the answers.

The cramps have cleared up and you are able to stand without pain again. You wonder if Mr. Kwan would appreciate some habeneros to spice up his stew this evening. Looking at your watch you go over to wake Thundercloud from his nap. The wrinkled Indian sighs as he slips out of his hammock. He's just a little shorter than you are, maybe five foot sevenish or so.

"Thank you, James". He says stretching and stifling a yawn. You pour him a cup of coffee. He likes it black and strong. He even jokes and calls it his 'Injun Cleaner'. You didn't really get the joke, but it must be funny. "So what do you plan on doing today? Perhaps some rune carving or planning to blow a few more trees into splinters? You work very hard for someone so young. I wonder what a wizard your age needs with Occulmency?" Damn, he must have seen you reading one of the books from the Black Library.

"It can never hurt to learn about something?" You reply casually, trying not to look concerned.

"You are correct, but I have been watching you. You work yourself harder than any of my children or grandchildren ever have. Your eyes tell me you have seen both battle and death. I suspect our hitwizard friend expected you to give up after a few quick Crucios, but you kept getting back up. You did well and earned a measure of respect from him. I have felt that curse, too many times in my life to subject someone to it as a teaching aid, but Kwan's technique was most successful. So, why are you interested in the mental arts?"

"A teacher at my school recommended it to me for emotional control." It wasn't a lie. It wasn't really the truth either, but who's keeping score anyway.

"I see. How has your studying gone?"

"Poorly. I can't seem to get through the initial exercises of clearing my mind." You picture Snape's scowling face in your mind enjoying your admission.

"Young people, especially young wizards often have a difficult time with emotional control. You have a powerful patronus, which speaks of a deep connection to your emotions. Magic driven by a strong emotion can be very powerful. Perhaps you are not meant for the arts of the mind. Tell me do you have any animagi in your family lines?"

"My father was one - a stag like my patronus. Why?" You say hoping this conversation is headed in the direction of becoming an animagus.

"Animagery is driven by strong emotions. It is powerful magic. The ultimate in identifying with the beast that lurks inside us all."

"One of my teachers at school is an animagus. She said that it is a controlled discipline."

"Ah yes, the Europeans can take something as raw and primal as the change and turn it into some kind of meticulous process, where you must diagram yourself and make models. Then you spend weeks partially transforming yourself bit by bit. It amazes me that people actually listen to the foolish Europeans."

"You mean there is another way?"

"If you follow their way almost anyone can become an animage with enough time and dedication. For those of us who are ready and feel the pounding of the animal within us there is the ritual of release."

"How do you know if you are ready?" You ask.

Thudercloud reaches inside his shirt and unties his necklace. It is a wooden carving of an eagle. Instead of a chain, it uses what looks like a long string of leather. "Animages from my people often create a totem. It contains a bit of myself and my animal spirit within. The wood is from the same type of tree as my wand. It is stained with sap from the same type of tree as my wand, my blood and the blood of my first kill in my eagle form. The sinew of that same groundhog creates the fastening. A totem is a powerful relic of blood and nature magic. If one who is not ready for the change touches my totem, they will feel a hint of magic and discomfort but mostly nothing. If one is ready for the change, the animal spirit in my totem will sense your animal and strike out at you. To most, I would say it is painful, but considering I watched your lessons with Mr. Kwan I will say that it is mildly annoying. Do you wish to know if you are ready, James?"

If there was a mirror around, you suppose you'd have the hero look on your face. The 'come on, give me your best shot - I can take it' look. You hold your hand out palm up and he drops the carved figurine into it. There is a flash of blinding light and you hear the screech of an angry eagle and you fight the urge to howl in anger as you are thrown violently out of your chair.

Thundercloud reaches down to the ground and retrieves his totem. He carefully buffs it with a cloth and returns it to his neck. "You had a most interesting reaction. You are ready. This is why your Occulmency fails. Occulmency is about emotional control. True animagery is about emotional release. When two forces wage a battle in your body, ultimately it is you that will lose. Only after you have accepted the animal that dwells within your spirit can you attempt to control your emotions, but once you have mastered your animal and emotions, those who would invade your mind will also have to face your animal and its fury."

"When can we do this ritual?"

"When we break for the weekend I will return home to gather the potions and medicinal herbs you will need to purify yourself with, they are quite potent. We will need to speak with William and get his permission to bring you with me the following weekend. If he agrees, you will purify yourself next week and accompany me for the weekend to where my people perform the ritual of release."

"Will I make a totem?"

"It is your choice? What wood is your wand?"

"Holly"

"If you are a predator, we will keep your first kill and I can assist you in making one. If you are not a predator, you can still make a totem, but the process is different."

"How do you know which one you will be?"

"When you held my predator totem, did you want to fight or flee?"

"Fight. Definitely fight." You say remembering the anger you felt.

"Then you are a predator. Otherwise you would have felt the urge to flee from my predator."

"What about rats or insects?" You ask thinking of two you happen to know well.

"Perhaps I generalize too much. You can define the different animal types however you wish, Predator or Prey, Carnivore, Herbivore or Omnivore. The Herbivores and most Omnivores would be driven back by my strong predator spirit. The animal inside you was not driven back. It must also be a strong predator. I have not dealt with many insect animages in my time. They are quite rare and if I may say, there is something wrong about the ones I have met." No arguments there from you. You're not exactly going to jump in there and defend Rita's honor. Naturally, you worry that you are now going to be an insect animagus.

"Can I ask a question?"

"Certainly."

"Is it animage or animagus? If you have more than one animage is it animagi?"

"Mr. Kwan is right."

"What?"

"Sometimes, you do think too much." Thundercloud says. He could have at least answered your question.

"Is there anything I should do now?"

"No more Occulmency. I will need money for the herbs and potions and my people would look fondly on a donation for their assistance, five hundred galleons perhaps."

"I'll push it through Bill. He'll agree." You say knowing it's your damn money anyway.

Speaking of Bill, he walks in with Sanchez. They are arguing already. You think the hag would know when to shut up already. This is the third argument that you know of, Merlin only knows just how many go on down in the ruins, but so far Bill has been right every time.

You see an exasperated look on Bill's face. "Look, I don't want to break that ward scheme until I have a clear picture of what is happening. Lets grab some lunch and clear our heads. Every other CG bought it from the green Erlz-Taz-Iuz combination. The last CG was hit by something purple."

"Its an old scheme, the Erlz rune is worn out and no longer charging. We've simply moved on to the next line of defense. We're never going to get anywhere, if you don't have the cajones for this!" Sanchez hissed. She probably does have cajones and you sure as hell don't want to check.

"Then it's a damn good thing that I am in charge and you're not, Ms. Sanchez." Bill replied in a cool tone. He decides to change the topic. "Smells good, cookie. Is it ready?" You hate that nickname and Bill knows it.

"Yes, and for the last time don't call me that." You reply.

Bill just grins at you and serves himself a bowl of your beef stew. You thickened it up with some rice and it does smell rather good. Collins wanders in with Kwan behind them, the two have worked together before. You thought about asking for details and then thought better of the idea. Neither of the men are very vocal. It must be part of the trade. They also don't really speak of their adventures either. If there is a no bragging rule, that pretty much rules out Malfoy and Ronnikins ever becoming Hitwizards. Funny how similar the two are becoming to you. Makes you wonder how things would have happened if you had shook the little bastard's hand in your first year. Who knows Tracey Davis has slightly bushy hair. Maybe they would have been your sidekicks? Yeah right!

There's something to do if you go back to good old Hoggy Hogwarts - Item 1, get new sidekicks. Right now Luna is in, maybe Neville, or perhaps Katie Bell. Item 2, make old sidekicks and their lemon drop sucking puppeteer's lives a living hell. Item 3, kill a nearly immortal dark lord.

You think back to Bill describing a Horcrux. After your discussion with Thundercloud, you wonder if a Horcrux isn't some kind of perversion of the animal totem process that you just had explained to you. You could see the logic. Bill had remembered a story from that instructor who managed to break Rowena's warding scheme that she had managed to recover a scrying glass that belonged to Madame Ravenclaw. It was stolen from her in the late 1950's, by someone roughly matching ickle Tommikin's description. Apparently, the unstable sheep fucker has a thing for items that belonged to the Hogwarts founders. Turns out Tom's diary was one too, which is almost as disturbing as the idea that when he tried to kill you he was probably trying to make one as well. At least one has been destroyed, but who knows how many more he has?

Anyway, El Dorko Lordo and his minions (Why does he get minions and all you get are sidekicks?) massacred an entire Brazilian magical town and made it disappear from the face of the Earth. If there was anyplace on this planet that screams, "Put Horcrux here!" This would be it. The trick is finding a way into it. Only one man is rumored to have gotten in and returned from 'The City of the Damned' and lived. He is also resting comfortably in an asylum in Sao Paulo, from what you have heard.

"Bill, what is a CG?" You say clearing the mental cobwebs out of your head.

"Curious George, you know like the children's story. You take an object and transfigure it into a little monkey. You put the monkey under a compulsion curse and make it do what you want, typically a cursebreaker will make a CG walk into a ward scheme and watch it die, which we have done about seven times this morning. Come on down with me to the ruins and I'll give you a demonstration." You hear Sanchez's snort of derision. "That's okay cookie, Ms. Sanchez will be staying here to look up several runes to verify that they are what we think they are."

You usually take a quick nap after lunch, but this sounds much more interesting. "Sure, I'll go. I've got enough stew for lunch and dinner, so my afternoon is free."

You practically inhale your bowl of stew. It would be nice to see something other than the campsite for a change. The ruins are about a half a kilometer away.

"So my young apprentice, ready to Bungle in the Jungle?" He says quoting a famous song - one of your favorites.

"Well that's alright by me." You reply not missing a beat.

The two of you set off on a quick hike through the trail that was cleared to the hidden ruins. You pass by the set that had been long since picked over. Bill shows you the wide arcing cutting curse nicknamed 'The Machete' that was used to help clear the path. It's a weak cutter, but useful for clearing vegetation away. This new set of ruins is covered in vegetation, some of it magical in nature. Sprout never said anything about South American Blood Vine! You get to try out the Machete spell sooner than you thought you would! The blood vine beats a hasty retreat under your and Bill's combined assault. You make a note that if you do go back to England to bring some cuttings for Neville. He'd probably get a kick out of it. You need better hobbies. Other than quidditch what hobbies do you have? Oops, better get back to driving off man eating plant. There it's gone now.

"Place is overrun with this crap." Bill says stomping on a couple of the larger vine bits that were still thrashing about before vanishing them altogether.

While Bill shows you the entrance and discusses the perimeter wards that they easily bypassed, except for the one that releases the scent of blood, which brings the blood vine running - if a vine can run that is.

"Why don't you destroy that ward as well?"

"It keeps the other predators out. Blood vine is pretty easy to beat as long as you don't let it overwhelm you, but now that we are passed it, the vine will actually protect us from the jungle."

"Oh, that makes sense."

You begin to explain to him about becoming an animagus. He says no problem, even at the five hundred galleon price tag, but he wants a try at holding the totem as well. When you describe Thundercloud's totem, you mention your thoughts on how it might compare to a horcrux.

"It sounds plausible that it was a perversion of that process. Hopefully, it will have a reaction for me. I always wanted to be an animage."

"So is it animage or animagus?" You ask hoping Bill will provide a meaningful answer.

"Yes." Bill says clearly not helping. Where's Minnie when you need her? "Alright, here were the first set of wards that we eliminated. They were located here, here and here. Basic intruder detection and ward wake up for the main defenses. What they basically do is alert the next set of wards that someone is here. If you are good and lucky, sometimes you can knock out the alert wards and get a jump on the next set of wards. In this instance, I am cursed to work with the playtroll centerfold and we tripped the alert wards. These are the next set that we have been working all day on. Stay about four meters back."

You like Bill's dig at Sanchez. Bill points his wand at a pile of rocks and you watch as the first one changes into a sprout arms, legs, a head and a tail and turn into a little red furred monkey. He immediately cast a second spell and the jittery monkey stops and looks glassy eyed.

"Meet Curious George. Don't get too attached, he's about to meet a bad end." Bill directs his controlled creature down the hall and tells you to turn on you glasses. You see the shimmer on the wall ahead of you and a green light reduces George to a smoking pile of ash.

"The rune isn't charging anymore my ass." Bill mutters. He then demonstrates the weak animal compulsion curse that he uses to control his monkeys. Next he changes two more rocks into monkeys and allows you to control one of them. "Sometimes, I use two and send them one right after the other, the second one is Peeping Fred after my other brother. When two go together, you can see how fast the ward scheme recharges or if it has to move on to the next set of runes. It is one of the ways that you can see if you are overwhelming a ward scheme."

"They die a lot don't they?"

"It's an emotional release from having to grow up with the two of them. Since, I can't kill the real ones, this has to do. It helps though." Bill answers with a grin.

Bill sends Curious George in again with you sending Peeping Fred right behind him. The green light zaps the monkey in the front and the second one instinctively leaps away to the right. Out of the corner of your eye you see a brief flash of white light hit the dodging monkey from the wall to the right of it. A massive purple blast vaporizes the monkey and the two piles of ash and has you seeing stars from behind your glasses.

"I probably should have said not to look directly at the runes, shouldn't I?" Bill says innocently.

"Yeah, jackass. What was the little white streak from the wall over there?"

"What white streak?"

"When Fred dodged, there was a little jet of white that hit him right before the fireworks started."

"Really? I'll be damned! The white light must be a trigger for the purple. Show me where." You use your wand like a muggle flashlight using the focus luminos incantation to create the effect.

"It came out from there." You say shining your wand light at what looks like a mouse hole.

"If they used a trigger then you and I might be able to bring this one down right now. Did you see a change around Fred when it hit?"

"He glowed yellow and then vanished in a purple Armageddon."

"Yellow huh - probably an aura painter. Step outside and levitate a big rock in here. If I am right, we can't hit it with an aura painter of our own and send it at the archway. The wards should blast away at it and drain them. It might take a few rocks, but they won't stay up too long. Come my little apprentice there is much work to be done."

You return with a rock that weighs a bit more than you. Bill tells you to float it down the hall towards the wards. It stops about two meters away from the arch. "That's expected. Most wards have a defender ward that prevents you from just tossing a boulder into it and destroying the stonework. Hold it right there. I am going to hit it with an aura painter. Make sure your glasses are off."

Bill waits a second and hits it with a spell and sure enough you get the psychedelic purple lightshow of death again. Bill keeps hitting the rock with his aura painting spell and the wards just keep blasting away at the rock. Thirty seconds later there is no rock. Bill immediately sends a Curious George down the hallway and it dies from a jet of fire instead of green or purple.

"Excellent. Quickly get another rock. The first two are down, but not out. We need to drain this puppy like a bottle of firewhiskey!"

The next rock also meets purple death, but the one after that survives with only half its mass destroyed. Bill sends a CG all the way to the arch. Bill gives you a big smile and fires off a quick trio of reductor curses at three spots on the wall.

"Harry, do you see any more controller runes? I think that's all of them." You shake your head no.

"Why don't we destroy the charging runes?" You point to the four clusters of runes already beginning to faintly glow as they begin to siphon power from the environment.

"Initially, you can't. The controller runes typically shield the charging runes. Without the controller they are useless. Also say we find the 'mother of all that is evil' in there. We might need to seal it back up. Just create our own controller rune and we are back in business."

"Why not attack the controller rune directly and be done with it?"

"Do you like big booms? Losing the controller rune while the trap runes still have power will set off a cascade that would at the very least brought this room down on us. The purple lightshow becomes the big purple explosion and Bill and Harry's excellent adventure ends here dude." Bill finishes with a mock American accent.

"Bill and Harry's excellent adventure?"

"Muggle movie title, except it is Bill and Ted's. Figured you would have heard of it."

"No, fraid not. I wasn't a regular guest for movie night at the Dursleys."

"Catch a movie this weekend. Maybe there is a family friendly thing you can take Karina and her boy to, if you are so inclined. Lets take thirty minutes then check again to see if we got all the controllers. Then you get to grab that notebook and help me diagram this scheme out completely. We need to trace out the trap runes, because I want to learn how to do my own purple lightshow. That's another fun thing about this job. After you beat someone's trap, you figure out how to make your own version. Maybe you can find a way to tweak it and make it better. See if I did this, I would create a secondary set of controller runes and disillusion them. I would put a failsafe timer on them and have it count for five minutes. They drop their guard and then BOOM!" Bill finishes with a maniacal look on his face.

"Moody must love you."

"He once told me I was the second son he always wanted."

"Moody has kids?" You shiver at the thought.

"One son and two daughters. The son moved to Australia, one of the daughters is a squib who works for Scotland yard. The other daughter was an auror who died during Voldemort's first rise."

"Well, I guess you learn something new everyday."

"That you do. Congratulations on breaking you first scheme, young apprentice. Consider your cursebreaking cherry popped."

"Bill, you use way too many sexual references. Did anyone ever tell you that?" You quip while reaching for a bottle of water. Today is a good day to be Harry Potter or James Black or whoever you are.

Author's notes - Hope you like this chapter. It was pure enjoyment to write. I've never been straight on the whole animage/animagus thing, so I decided to make a running joke out of it.