Patrick is suicidal but doesn't want to tell Pete to avoid him getting worried. But what happens when Pete seems to push Patrick to the edge? Will Patrick break under pressure?
“Oops. It looks like all your stuff is thrown on the floor.” The bigger guy in the blue and white jacket whispered harshly into Patrick’s ear. Patrick stayed quiet knowing responding to him will only make him do worse things.
“Where’s your lunch money?” The guy grabbed Patrick by the fabric of his plaid shirt while looking at Patrick up and down. Patrick’s right hand acted quickly and went into the pocket of his faded jeans and pulled out a five dollar bill. The guy snatched it out of Patrick’s hand and sent him flying on the floor near his stuff while the bystanders laughed. Patrick grabbed his hat and placed it on his head as his tormentor walked away. He scrounged for the rest of his things and put them in his backpack. He stood up quickly and headed for lunch.
It was like this every day. One of the jocks from the football team would attack Patrick for his lunch money, even though Patrick was of no threat to them. People would stand by and point and laugh while Patrick took a beating. They never helped him. Patrick didn’t understand why the jocks picked on him. He was nothing special. Maybe it was the fact that Patrick was a straight A student which automatically branded him as a nerd. And if you were a nerd, you were a target for the jocks.
Patrick walked into the cafeteria and bent down to take out the extra five dollars out of his sneaker. It was lame but it kept him from starving. He got his regular peanut butter sandwich with an apple and walked to an empty table. He sat down and started eating his lunch. He looked at other tables which were filled with laughing people, people who were friends. Friends. The word seemed foreign to Patrick. He had never been able to make friends due to the fact that he was extremely shy. Shy translated into weird which left Patrick by himself. He was tired of being invisible to these people. It just made him feel worthless. The only time he gets attention was when he answered a question in class, and of course, when the jocks wanted to have a little fun. He looked down at his apple and sighed sadly before he started to eat it.
“Hey, Patrick!” Pete yelled from the bottom of the stairs as Patrick walked down.
“Hey, Pete.” Patrick mumbled as he approached his only friend. Yes, Patrick had one friend: Pete Wentz. He and Pete met when Pete saw one of the jocks wailing on Patrick one day after school. Pete beat the crap out of the guy and helped Patrick get cleaned up. Ever since then, he’s been Patrick’s hero and savior. Pete wrapped an arm around Patrick and pulled him close.
“What’s wrong, trick?” Patrick shook his head and looked straight ahead as they walked to Pete’s blue convertible.
“Come on, trick. You know you can tell me anything.” It was true. Patrick could tell Pete everything and anything. Everything but what Patrick really wanted.
“It’s nothing to worry about, Pete. I’m fine.” Pete looked at Patrick and smiled.
“Now, trick, we both know that’s a lie.” Patrick couldn’t help but feel the corners of his lips twitch at the sight of his best friend’s smile. Pete shook his head as they approached the car.
They both got in and Pete sighed as he grabbed the steering wheel but made no attempt to start the car. He faced Patrick.
“Did those son of a gun jocks touch you?” Patrick’s face was stoic. Pete let out an annoyed sigh.
“Damn it, trick. As the older boy in this friendship, I demand you tell me what’s wrong.” He crossed arms to show Patrick he meant business. Patrick had to smile at that. It’s true; Pete was older than Patrick by a year. Pete was a junior while Patrick was a sophomore but somehow Pete managed to act younger then Patrick at times.
“A smile!” Pete grinned. Patrick nodded.
“Yeah. One of the jocks threw me against the lockers.” Patrick mumbled softly. He didn’t want to look at Pete. He knew it bothered Pete when anyone hurt him.
“Goddamn it! I’m going to kick their-”
“Pete.” Patrick interrupted Pete and gave him a stern look.
“We both know beating them up won’t do any good. We’re in different schools. You can’t protect me all the time.” Pete started the car and gave Patrick a smug smile.
“But I can sure as hell try.”
The two high school boys approached Patrick’s house. Patrick’s mother opened the door with a huge smile and pulled Pete into a bear hug.
“Petey! I’ve missed you. How are you?” She broke the embrace to step back and look him over.
“I’m fine, Mrs. Stump. How are you?” Pete smiled and stepped back to avoid another bear hug.
“Oh, I’m just fine! Thanks for asking.” Patrick stood there feeling invisible to his mother,
“Hey, mom.” Patrick mumbled, making himself known.
“Oh, hey, honey. I was wondering where you were.” She said, giving Patrick one of her fake smiles.
“Yeah, mom-I was- nevermind. Pete and I are going to my room to study. Is that okay?” Patrick asked, wanting to be out of his mother’s sight already.
“Of course, honey. I’ll make you and Pete something to eat.” She rushed to the kitchen to make the boys their snacks. Patrick walked in first without a word, feeling worse than before. His mother was always able to do that, though. She never really paid any attention to Patrick, and if she did, it was about his grades. If he got anything below an A, she would tell his father and his father would rip him a new one. The boys rushed upstairs and entered Patrick’s room, plopping themselves on his bed.
“You get more love from my mother than I do.” Patrick said, monotonously.
“Aw, that’s not true.” Pete turned and faced his best friend. Patrick let out a big laugh.
“Ah, Pete. You’re so funny. My mother likes me. Oh yeah, and pigs fly!” Patrick squealed. Pete looked at him sadly. He was at a loss for words.
“It’s okay, Pete,” Patrick fixed his glasses. “I’m used to it.” That was a lie, a huge lie. The fact that his mother forgets his existence breaks Patrick’s heart.
“I said I’m used to it, Pete.” Pete sighed and decided to drop the subject.
“How is schoolwork going?”
“Fine, as always. Come on, Pete. You know I’m the top of my class. I have no issues there.”
Patrick shook his head at Pete for asking such a silly question. Pete moved closer to Patrick to pull him into an embrace. Patrick gratefully hugged him back.
“I’m always here for you, Patrick. You should know that.” Pete felt Patrick nod.
“Plus,” Pete pulled back and looked at Patrick. “You’re at the top of your class. That’s a huge accomplishment! You should be happy.” Patrick shook his head.
“Perfect grades don’t bring me much happiness. The constant reminder that I’m a loser in every other area of life kind of overshadows the fact that I’m great at academics.” Pete looked at Patrick. He didn’t know what to say to that either.
“You’re really upset, aren’t you?” Patrick shrugged.
“More like sad. I’m starting to think I’m depressed.”
“Come on, trick; be happy!” Patrick rolled his eyes.
“Um, it’s kind of hard to be happy when you’re being put down all the time. We can’t all be you, Pete.” Once that came out of Patrick’s mouth, he immediately regretted it.
“Wow, Patrick. Tell me how you really feel.” Pete said sarcastically as he got up from the bed.
“Pete, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.” Pete crossed his arms and nodded his head. “Sure.”
“Pete…” Pete shook his head.
“No, Patrick. You’re always so damn upset all the time, and I get it, life is hard for you, your parents don’t love you, and you’re treated like crap at school. It doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me.” Patrick got up and looked at Pete in disbelief.
“Take it out on you? Pete, I just tell you how I feel. And if that’s taking it out on you then maybe I shouldn’t say anything anymore because apparently, you’re too stupid to tell the difference.” Patrick was really angry now. He and Pete stared at each other for a few moments before Pete decided to say something.
“You know, if you think you’re ‘depressed', then why don’t you see a damn shrink because I sure as hell can’t help you. You’re a lost cause.” Pete opened the door and left the room, leaving Patrick alone. Patrick sat down and put his head in his hands.
“What did you do to Pete? He left the house without a word.” Patrick wanted to stab himself right there and then.
“Well, young man?” Patrick tried to ignore his mother. “I’m waiting.” No such luck. “Patrick Martin Stump, you answer me this moment!” Patrick just wanted her to leave.
“Get out.” He whispered.
“What did you say to me, young man?” “I said get out!” Patrick looked up to see his mother’s shocked face.
“Just wait until your father gets home.” She walked out without another word. Patrick knew what that meant. That meant he would get beaten. Maybe, if he was lucky, it would be to death.
After his dad took care of him, Patrick went up to his room and fell asleep, wanting nothing more than to be off this earth.
Patrick walked into the school with his head lower than usual. The first reason was to hide the black eye his father gave him, which he would explain as a result of a nasty slip. The second reason was because of the argument with Pete. It wouldn’t matter anymore though. It was time to rid the world of Patrick Stump. But of course, it wouldn’t be a goodbye without getting slammed into the lockers by a jock one more time. Once Patrick got up, he walked straight ahead to the staircase. He heard the bell ring as he ran up the stairs and opened the door that was marked ‘Roof Access.’ He sat on the concrete to calm his body down after going up eight flights of stairs. It was perfect. He would jump off and no one would know. You know, until they found his body. Everything would go away. The beatings and the petty arguments with Pete; he wouldn’t be able to cause anyone anymore grief. No one could bother him where he was going. Patrick got up and walked to the edge of the roof. He looked down and got a bit dizzy when he saw the height. Everything seemed smaller from up there. Patrick closed his eyes and felt himself teetering over the edge.
“HEY, TRICK!” Patrick opened his eyes and looked down to see a small figure but could easily make it out as Pete’s. Patrick sighed.
“What are you doing up there!?” Pete yelled.
“What does it look like I’m doing, Pete!? I’m trying to commit suicide!” Patrick took a step back and crossed his arms.
“You don’t want to do that, trick! Come back down and we’ll talk!” Patrick laughed and took a step forward.
“And why should I, huh!? I’m a burden to everyone!” He could feel the tears threatening to leave his eyes.
“That’s not true, trick! You matter! You matter to me!” Patrick let the tears flow.
“That’s a lie, Pete! You were right! I am a lost cause! I’m worthless! That’s why no one wants to be around me! Not even my own mother!” Patrick practically roared, his tears a waterfall running down his cheeks.
“Now that’s where you’re wrong, trick! You’re not a lost cause and you’re not worthless! You’re quite the opposite. You’re everything to me-my best friend!” Patrick felt his heart pull at Pete’s words. He really did care.
“Come on, trick! Please come down!” Patrick thought about ignoring Pete and just jumping off. He sighed. He couldn’t leave Pete. That would be selfish. Patrick nodded his head.
“Alright, I’m coming down!” He saw Pete relax before he went back down. Pete ran to Patrick once Patrick stepped outside and embraced him. Patrick hugged him back and felt himself crying again.
“When does all of this hurt stop, Pete. When?” Patrick sobbed into Pete’s shoulder.
“I honestly don’t know but I’ll tell you this: I’ll be with you every step of the way. It gets better, trick. I promise.”