She stopped at the door of her building and rested back against it with a small release of breath. She felt a little relieved to be out of the public, to be near him, alone with him where only the night was their companion.
“Thanks for coming out with me tonight…I think I needed that.” He said, a breath of a smile on his face as he looked down at her.
She smiled a little up to him as well, her heart racing, forgetting everything that was horrible about her life. She wasn’t alone in this moment because she was there with him and being there was the only thing that seemed to make sense.
“Want me to walk you up?” He asked, looking behind her through the hazy glass window on the door.
She shook her head. “I’m fine.”
He nodded, noticing then how closed up she seemed when it came to something as personal as where she lived. “Alright.”
She watched him a moment, his eyes looking off to the side. She wanted to invite him up, wanted him to tell her that they could do whatever seemed enough to chase away the darkness of her soul but she refrained. She didn’t want to be just some other girl he had slept with. She didn’t want to throw herself at him because he was some rock star. She didn’t want to be alone with him in the lonely cavern of her life. She didn’t want him to see what she had to see everyday.
“Well sleep tight.” He said, smiling again very softly. His smile lit up his eyes, the blue of them delicate as they held hers.
“You too.” She replied sweetly, touching her hand to the lapels of his coat. “Goodnight.” She lifted herself up, her hand reaching up to hold onto his neck, and she pressed a kiss to his cheek.
He held onto her, savoring the burn of her kiss. He didn’t want her to pull away. Something about her kiss cleared away the pain of anything that had happened to him. Something about her being in his arms made it seem like no one else had been there before. He inhaled the delicacy of her scent, the sweetness of her being so close to him. But she pulled away, she gave him a smile and turned away. He watched her go into the building, the door shutting behind him and the night closing him in.
He stood there, his eyes lowered and the feel of her lips to his skin intoxicating him still. He wondered where she had come from, why she was here and what made her seem so infatuated by him. Couldn’t she see through him? Couldn’t she see the tireless wounds that mounted him with their burdensome aches? Didn’t she know that she was more than just a worn out soul that held no regard for anyone but his own pain? He wasn’t supposed to get involved with anyone. That had been his promise to himself, not after the agony of what had just happened. He wasn’t supposed to need comfort, love was supposed to be lost to him. He could do without it, all it had done was make him miserable. He could live a life without the sweetness of being in a woman’s arms, without the hope of being whole again. So what exactly was he doing?
He got back into the taxi, throwing out his address and retreated back against the seat. Despite the thickness of his coat he still could feel the chill weather through the windows. He hid his gloved hands in his pockets and watched the city roll by. It was a far cry from Los Angeles where the sun always peaked brilliantly and the perfect weather seemed to last forever. He loved it here though, loved the darkness that came in the Winter, loved the endless repetition of the city lights, this was indeed his city.
He paid the taxi once they rolled up in his driveway and got out. The wind hit him immediately as the car drove away. He walked slowly up to his house opening the door. He stopped when he realized the door was unlocked. Something of a panic filled him as he made his way inside. Heavily he sighed when he saw Shannon standing in the living room, a glass of water in his hand.
“Thanks for waiting to come in.” Jared said as he entered the living room.
“Been waiting all night…where the hell is all your stuff?” Shannon looked around the empty living room, only seeing a couch and table.
Jared glanced around as well before he sat back on the couch, pulling his gloves off. “What are you doing here?”
Shannon set his glass of water down and gave a reluctant sigh. “Jared, where’s Bianca?”
Suddenly Jared got uncomfortable. He looked away from Shannon, trying to hide the glaze of tears forming in his eyes. “She stayed in Italy.” He said, his hands turning white as they gripped onto the other.
Shannon knelt down in front of him, looking up into his brothers eyes almost sadly. He knew there was something wrong, what exactly it was he couldn’t understand yet but it was obvious something had happened.
“Jared where is Bianca? You don’t go off to Italy having just got married and then return home alone. Where is she?” He pressed almost regrettably.
Jared blinked a stream of tears onto his cheeks and let out a shaky sigh before he lowered his head into his hands. He wasn’t ready for this, wasn’t ready to reach inside of himself and release the one thing he had wanted to hide. He didn’t want anyone to look inside of him.
“Jared? Where is she?”