“So that boy, I don’t know if I like him” She moves slowly across the kitchen and takes a sip of coffee.
“Mom, It is my choice ok? He is a really good guy” I say shoving pancakes into my mouth. She nods.
“Do you love him?” I choke on my pancakes and look up at her.
“Mom do you really think that is an appropriate question right now?” –me
“Yes, Yes I do. You broke up with Chad because of him, and grant it you were drunk the other night but they way you made it sound to me is that it was love at first sight”-Mom”
“Yeah, well. I…I…I don’t know” I say stuttering. My mom just rolls her eyes.
“Well that boy loves you!”-Mom
“How? I don’t even understand how you can think that”-me
“The way he looks at you. And the way you looked at him. You love him weather you realize it right now or not. I just hope he is healthy for you” And with that she walks out of the room.
I finish my pancakes and go get ready for work, still pondering the idea that I could be in love with someone that I just met.
The end of the work day couldn’t have come faster. I kept thinking about what my mom said and about seeing Gerard. I clock out and walk outside and see Gerard leaning against my car He is wearing all black like usual. My heart races and my palms are sweaty.
“Hey” I say walking up to him. He looks up and smiles his crooked smile. He leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek giving me chills. He laughs.
“Wanna go get some coffee?” He asks pulling out the keys to his car. I smile and nod.
“Alright just follow me” he says heading to his car. I get into mine and we head to wherever he pleases.
We end up back at the little diner place. I parked next to Gerard and get out. We walk up to the doors in silence and sit down. The same waitress comes over and takes our coffee orders. Gerard hands me a cigarette and we both light up.
“So what did you want to talk to me about?!” I ask excitedly.
“We are going on tour in 2 months” Gerard says pushing smoke out of his lungs. My heart sinks. I only have 2 months left with him?! I have to show that I am happy for him.
“That is great! I am so happy for you!” I say cheerfully. He sighs and smiles.
“Yeah it is, it is huge for us. But I wanted to talk to you about something else” The waitress places our coffee in front of us and I sip at it, so does he.
“What did you want to talk about?”-Me
“It’s just I think it is way to early to be saying this, but I just have to. Johanna I leave in 2 months and I want to spend every waking moment I can with you during it. I can’t stand not being with you, you’re all I think about when I’m not with you. I just want it to be you and me no one else” He takes a big drink of his coffee. I sit there and take in what he said and start to smile. I twirl my stirring stick in my coffee. He puts his hand on mine giving me goose bumps, and I like it.
“I couldn’t agree more” I look up through my bangs and he is smiling. He reaches across the small table and kisses me on the cheek. My cheek gets hot and I start blushing. He is just so…handsome and everything I need.
“So um…does this make me your…um” I cant even muster out the words.
“My girlfriend? I’d like to think so” He is starting to blush now. He rubs the back of his head and I just smile.
We arrive to my house around 5:30. We spent most of the afternoon in the shop just talking about the band and where they were going to tour and for how long. Walking up the sidewalk I can already smell the lasagna. My mouth waters. Gerard walks beside me and slips his hand in mine and I feel like I am on cloud 9. We walk into the door and the aroma hits my harder than it did outside. Gerard seems to notice too.
“I feel like I am going to be a like one of those cartoon characters that just lets the smell lift them off their feet” I say. Gerard laughs.
“Me too” he replies. We both walk into the kitchen and see my mom pulling the lasagna out of the oven. She looks over at us and smiles. Her smile drops when he sees Gerard and I holding hands. I let go and walk over to her and give her a hug.
“Hi mama!” I say giving her a kiss on the cheek. “This smells so good!” I lean over the pan and take a good whiff and smile. She smiles back and pats my back.
“Only the best for my little girl! Now why don’t you go change out of your clothes” She says looking at my scrubs. I nod and go into the bedroom.
I emerge from my bedroom wearing a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. Gerard is setting the table and my mom is bringing everything over. I smile at the picture. Maybe tonight wont be to bad after all.
And it wasn’t. The whole way through dinner my mom was nice asking Gerard about various things, where he grew up, why art, why music. She seemed pleased with most of his answers, and toward the end of dinner Gerard even agreed to sketch her as a comic character. They moved into the living room while I cleaned up the kitchen. I could hear them laughing. I smile enjoying how happy they sounded. Everything seems right.
I open the fridge to put the left overs in and I see the bottle of vodka staring at me. I gulp and my mouth is craving it. I look around and see no one is coming in, I open the bottle and take a few drinks. I feel even more happy. I walk into the living room and sit on the couch next to Gerard while he sketches my mom from the chair across the room. I peak over his shoulder. Right now It just looks like a bunch of lines. I use this time to go use the restroom. I stand up and wabble a bit. My mom doesn’t seem to notice but Gerard does raising an eyebrow at me. I just smile and he shakes his head and smiles.
On my way out the restroom I over hear my mom talking.
“My daughter means a lot to me you know” She has on her interrogation voice. Oh no poor Gerard. I put my ear closer to the door.
“She means a lot to me too” –Gerard
“Don’t mean to sound rude or mean Gerard, but you’ve known my daughter less than a week, you ruined her engagement. All of this in less than a week” –Mom
“I know. But I can tell you Mrs. Retorio that the moment I saw your daughter I knew I’d never forget her. I felt as though I was struck by lighting I saw her and only her no one else. That has never happened with anyone before and when I am with her, there is no hiding”-Gerard. My heart melts a little and I get teary eyed,
“So you love her?”-Mom
“I’d like to give that more time before I decide on that”-Gerard
“Understandable, Just don’t break her heart. She is turning to alcohol, she thinks I am stupid but I can tell she is drunk right now, she snuck some of that vodka I saw in the fridge. Don’t let her destroy herself” –Mom
“I promise I wont let anything or anyone harm your daughter”-Gerard.
I leant against the wall smiling biting my lowers lip. I close my eyes and picture Gerard. My heart flutters. I open the door and step into the living room.
“Ah just in time, I just finished” Gerard says holding up his drawing. My mom grabs it and starts laughing.
“Oh this is excellent Gerard! You do have a talent” My mother says examing the picture. I lean over her shoulder and take a look. It looks like my mom but in cartoon form, I laugh.
“Wow it is amazing” I say. Gerard smiles and runs his hands through his hair.
“Well I am going to go read for a bit and hit the hay, I have to get up early tomorrow and start on your garden!” My mom says getting up. She comes up and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight sweetie. Goodnight Gerard. By the way hun, I don’t mind if he sleeps over you are a big girl now just no hanky panky!” She winks and walks toward the guest room, and as soon as the door closes I walk up to Gerard and give him a huge passionate kiss. He seems a little shocked so he doesn’t kiss back right away but when he does it is amazing. The feel of both of our bodies together his hands on the side of my face holding me closer to him. We make out for a good 10 minutes before stopping.
Gerard places his lips on my head and kisses me. “I’ll never get tired of that” He says taking deeps breaths. I lift my head back and look him in the eyes wrapping my arms around this neck.
“Me either” I giggle. He gives me one quick peck.
“Wanna give me some of that vodka?” He asks with a smile. I smile back and get off of his lap and walk into the kitchen. He is right behind me. I reach up in the cupboard and grab 2 shot glasses. I open the fridge and pull out the vodka.
“You know I promised your mom I wouldn’t let you destroy yourself” He says grabbing the bottle away from me. I reach for it again but he pulls it out of my reach.
“Come on Gerard” I say reaching for it again.
“But I don’t mind destroying ourselves together” He says pouring the 2 shots. I smile and we both take ours at the same time. We take 5 more shots and we are both pretty drunk. We go outside on the back porch and smoke. I cuddle up next to him and he puts his arms around me. I look up at him and his silhouette is even handsome.
“Do you wanna sleep over?” I ask. He blows out smoke and looks down at me and smiles.
“Of course” He pulls my closer and kisses my head again.