Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > Come Away
He just sat there staring ahead of himself waiting for her to come back. He could feel the burn of tears coming to his eyes again, could feel the heaviness wrapping itself around his heart. He hated being alone. Hated feeling the walls close in on him like he had no escape. He was lost here and he hated it. On top of all that he felt a bit of guilt after having shut Shannon out. He was only concerned but the idea of letting someone so close in was frightening. He had always been able to deal with his own problems, with his own pain but this time it was somehow different. This time as he sat there he needed someone to hold him up out of the mire of his own reckless emotions. Someone that wasn't too close, that didn't know the man he had once been. Rowan seemed the perfect one to do it. She had only just met him. She hadn't seen his incredible highs or when he had been first plummeted into this disastrous low. She saw him now, as lost as he was and for one reason or another that made it alright that she was near.
The bedroom door opened and she came in. In her hands was a bottle of water and a plate of something. He looked up at her, and shook his head. "Not hungry..." He said when she offered him the plate but he took the water.
Softly she sighed and set the plate down. "Hope that doesn't become a habit." She said as she sat on the edge of the bed.
He twisted the cap of the bottle off and nodded slightly. He rested his head back after taking a sip and let his eyes slide shut. He could feel her presence all around him, it was more than hard to ignore something so unnerving.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" She asked hoping he would open his eyes and look at her. She needed some kind of reassurance that he wasn't shutting her out. She had been shut out her entire life she wasn't ready to face it all over again.
He let out a small breath and turned to look at her. His eyes had cleared of the building tears and held hers with their piercing blue. He ran his tongue across his lips to get rid of the dryness. "Have you ever felt like...like everything around you isn't for you?"
His words caught her off guard and the bare tone of his voice, that pained sound surprised her. "What do you mean?" Her voice was slightly above a whisper when she spoke.
He turned away from her then, looking back ahead of him. She prayed he would talk again, she didn't want to be left with silence.
"Like no matter what you do it won't matter because you're don't belong to this world. It isn't for you, it's for everyone else but never for you." He thought of what Shannon had asked him. You don’t go off to Italy having just got married and then return home alone. He took an inhale of breath and tried to keep his heart from racing.
She didn't know what to say. She could see his eyes becoming deeper with tears, could see the way one of his hands lightly trembled on the bottle. She could see the pain forming on his perfect features. Her heart began to break for him because he was the only person she could feel for anymore.
"Have you ever loved someone so much? Put so much into it until you're sure you've emptied your entire heart into it only to have them continuously think you aren't enough? Only to wake up one morning and they're gone because you simply weren't enough reason for them to hold on for?" The tears fell then. The memories came flooding back before his eyes despite how hard he tried to keep them away.
"Jared..." She whispered his name, unsure what else to say. Her hand lightly touched his arm, trying in some way to calm the emotions that were visibly overwhelming him.
He turned to look at her, another trail of tears fighting against his strength and winning. He didn't say anything, his eyes holding more than just words. Somehow she knew it was some sort of plea for her not to leave him. For her to just stay despite everything that was left to the unknown.
She put her arms around him, gently holding him to her. He was calming, his face in her neck and his breath on her skin. He didn't hold her at first until she laid down with him. She laid on her side and him on his. Lightly she caressed his jawline down to his neck and rested her hand on his shoulder. His eyes whispered shut for a moment, a breath releasing from his parted lips. She watched him try to compose himself. She lost herself in how close she was to him, how his hand was placed on his waist. She could smell him and she knew that her strength was entirely lost. She just wanted to be here with him, for him. Slowly she leaned closer to him and pressed a single kiss to his cheek, the taste of his tears remaining on her lips. His eyes opened and looked at her, surprised it seemed. She let out a nearly audible gasp when he brought her closer to him by the waist. His chest warm as it rose and fell against hers. She almost expected him to kiss her but instead he lowered his face into her neck and she wrapped her arms around him. Something was still breaking inside of him and she wanted to be the one that would be there when everything went right again.
The bedroom door opened and she came in. In her hands was a bottle of water and a plate of something. He looked up at her, and shook his head. "Not hungry..." He said when she offered him the plate but he took the water.
Softly she sighed and set the plate down. "Hope that doesn't become a habit." She said as she sat on the edge of the bed.
He twisted the cap of the bottle off and nodded slightly. He rested his head back after taking a sip and let his eyes slide shut. He could feel her presence all around him, it was more than hard to ignore something so unnerving.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" She asked hoping he would open his eyes and look at her. She needed some kind of reassurance that he wasn't shutting her out. She had been shut out her entire life she wasn't ready to face it all over again.
He let out a small breath and turned to look at her. His eyes had cleared of the building tears and held hers with their piercing blue. He ran his tongue across his lips to get rid of the dryness. "Have you ever felt like...like everything around you isn't for you?"
His words caught her off guard and the bare tone of his voice, that pained sound surprised her. "What do you mean?" Her voice was slightly above a whisper when she spoke.
He turned away from her then, looking back ahead of him. She prayed he would talk again, she didn't want to be left with silence.
"Like no matter what you do it won't matter because you're don't belong to this world. It isn't for you, it's for everyone else but never for you." He thought of what Shannon had asked him. You don’t go off to Italy having just got married and then return home alone. He took an inhale of breath and tried to keep his heart from racing.
She didn't know what to say. She could see his eyes becoming deeper with tears, could see the way one of his hands lightly trembled on the bottle. She could see the pain forming on his perfect features. Her heart began to break for him because he was the only person she could feel for anymore.
"Have you ever loved someone so much? Put so much into it until you're sure you've emptied your entire heart into it only to have them continuously think you aren't enough? Only to wake up one morning and they're gone because you simply weren't enough reason for them to hold on for?" The tears fell then. The memories came flooding back before his eyes despite how hard he tried to keep them away.
"Jared..." She whispered his name, unsure what else to say. Her hand lightly touched his arm, trying in some way to calm the emotions that were visibly overwhelming him.
He turned to look at her, another trail of tears fighting against his strength and winning. He didn't say anything, his eyes holding more than just words. Somehow she knew it was some sort of plea for her not to leave him. For her to just stay despite everything that was left to the unknown.
She put her arms around him, gently holding him to her. He was calming, his face in her neck and his breath on her skin. He didn't hold her at first until she laid down with him. She laid on her side and him on his. Lightly she caressed his jawline down to his neck and rested her hand on his shoulder. His eyes whispered shut for a moment, a breath releasing from his parted lips. She watched him try to compose himself. She lost herself in how close she was to him, how his hand was placed on his waist. She could smell him and she knew that her strength was entirely lost. She just wanted to be here with him, for him. Slowly she leaned closer to him and pressed a single kiss to his cheek, the taste of his tears remaining on her lips. His eyes opened and looked at her, surprised it seemed. She let out a nearly audible gasp when he brought her closer to him by the waist. His chest warm as it rose and fell against hers. She almost expected him to kiss her but instead he lowered his face into her neck and she wrapped her arms around him. Something was still breaking inside of him and she wanted to be the one that would be there when everything went right again.
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