The End of ALL Ends, (excluding part two)
Gerard had been gone for forty eight hours now, he hadn't called, and he always called. I remembered the first night after he had worked the streets what he'd told me to do if this ever happened.
He coaxed me under the covers next to him, "Mikes, you know I didn't want to go, I'm not a bad person, dad made me" His tone was level and instead of the words carrying hatred for our father, they carried the soft tone of need, need for me to understand, It seemed as if Gerard rarely did anything but comfort me these days, maybe that's why I'd fallen in love with him. "Is daddy punishing you, for liking boys, he does that a lot." "yeah, I guess he is, he also needs liquor money" his voice grew harsh then. I wanted to comfort him back. I needed him to know that daddy punished me too for liking boys. For liking Gerard. But I couldn't let him know, I couldn't let him find out what I did with daddy. He'd hate me. He'd never talk to me in that voice that was creamy soft and soothing. "Mikes, you know, there might be a time when I don't come back, if something happens to me...you need to go to my room and look under the bed, taped to the bottom of the mattress, they'll be a few numbers and a letter, call them and explain that I haven't come back and they'll help you. I don't have many friends left but you do". But would I still if they new my secret, worse than yours. I'd thought.
I know what I'm supposed to do, I know how to do it. But going into his room pulling the paper from out of that darkness and doing what he said. It would mean accepting Gerard wasn't coming back. I couldn't do that yet.
The pain was a creepy kind of feeling, or maybe that's what my mind was perceiving it as. Here I was, being poked and prodded and probably will be disemboweled, by a psychopathic serial killer, and the only thing making it bearable was imagining Frank doing it, holding me down, slicing me. I only wanted his hands on me now, only his breath hot and crazed against my skin. Even after what he did. I guess I only know how to be abused, I think I love him.
I ran past the pool nearly tripping over the tarp which had been rolled up neatly revealing the crystalline pool once again. That was a good sign that the house wasn't empty anymore. Ray had to me here, I banged on the door with an open hand. "Ray! Ray! Open the door its Frank, its Fun Ghoul! Don't kill him! Please Ray, don't kill him!" I fought through the brush to the the rear window, "Ray, I know you're in there, its me, Fun Ghoul!" I ran to the front door again, frantically waiting for any sign, I had nearly given up when the door opened a crack, all that the 'safety' chain would allow and the barrel f a P-38 glock was staring at me. "Ray, I'm Fun Ghoul." The door slammed, the chained slid away from its position and Ray open the door. I hugged him, not taking the time to relish in the nostalgia of his presence. I felt the gun against my stomach. "R-Ray..." I said shakily. "Frankie, Jezus I missed you. How do I know your not working with the cops?" I leaned into him further, the gun pressing in between my ribs. "Ray," I whispered, desperate. "That's my boy, and I need him back, Please." Ray pulled me back looking me over, seeing me in my brittle state. He chuckled, "I'd thought you'd have gotten taller. C'mon" he led me to the back room, unlocking the door.
Gerard was sprawled out on a bed covered in plastic sheeting pooled with blood. It was beautiful and sickening and delicious. Ray as he was so good at ruined it "Lets get him stabilized, he's lost a lot of blood but I didn't play long enough for him to have anything fatal.
What if Frank was a serial killer, would I still love him? Yeah. Even in my situation, I understand when you just need something and you can't help it, like how I need music, and Mikey, and ...Frank. You love whatever you love, you need what you need, no matter how evil it is or how much it hurts you or anyone else. I'm glad I've come to this conclusion. I guess Its good to die with an understanding of what life is. I must be going. I can here his voice, telling me loves me. I hope Fluffy had a good time. This isn't so bad. I feet so warm. Waiting to Discover all things, Waiting to Recover my wings. I hope Mikey will be okay when he realizes I'm not coming back. I hope he reads the letter.
[/Dear Mikey, if your reading this, I haven't been back for three days, I know I said two but I knew you'd procrastinate accepting that I'm gone. I want you to be a good boy and stay in school and keep playing your bass. Dad loves you, use that t your advantage. I'm sorry that I won't be here for you, but you have to be strong, I don't really know what to say accept I love you, all my stuff is yours sell it if you need to. I'm always with you, I love you. Don't call the cops.
I awoke to find myself feeling rather shitty. I opened my eyes gazing around the light blue room. Comics lined the wall, along with every one of my favorite CD's and tons of bands that I haven't even heard of. The best part was Frank laying beside me. "Mornin' sugar, is this heaven?" Frank's eyes shot open, "Oh sweet Lucifer! You're awake Gee!" He hugged me "Ow" I was confused. If I had been rescued wouldn't I'd be in the hospital, and this place is awesome so I must be dead. "I'm so sorry, Oh Lord Gerard I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, this is all my fault." "No its not Frank, I'm so glad there's a version of you here in the afterlife. Do you think Mikey's here too?" "Hold up Gerard, your not dead. I got to Ray in time, you're still at his house."
"I'm not? How did you know where I was?"
"I- Gerard I- I'm a serial killer, and Ray's my childhood friend and he-"
"Dude! I so called it" Frank looked at me in that same way you look at someone who orders a salad at a fast food place. Like 'uh huh, really...'
"So you already knew? How? Your not mad"
"Of course I'm mad I just got murdered.I think, if I was gonna be killed by anyone I'd want it to be you, and instead of fluffy."
"Fluffy? Ray! I see, that's adorable. Also your not dead"
"If I wasn't dead then why are you even talking to me, the alive version of you... just...But I'm still in love with you and I have no idea why, and since I'm in love with you and this is heaven, it is mandatory that you are just as in love with me"
"Yeah, I am, I love you too and I'm here and real and your alive, and Mikey's downstairs with Ray, he's safe and I'm sorry I'm so sorry."
Frank leaned over and touched his lips to mine. I kissed him deep and soft and it was the most perfect kiss I had ever experienced. I could feel his heartbeat against mine and he was perfect I don't care if he's a serial killer, or a product of my heaven-scape and I don't care what he does to me as long as he stays with me.
I layed on my bed crying my heart out when dad came in, he reeked of booze. "Whats wrong son?"
I shoved the letter under the pillow. "What was that?" "nothing" "don't lie to me boy" He snatched the letter reading over it and grinning like as he finished "I guess he's not coming back, but its okay Michael, daddy will take care of you." "No!" I screamed throwing out my hands and running past him. It almost made it to the front door when he knocked me down. "No daddy please no" He yanked at my jeans as I spouted a tirade of nos and pleases. His mouth went over mine to large to fit together.. I kept my lips closed until he took my chin in his hand and squeezed until I opened my mouth. With one hand he held me down by my neck and with the other he searched for my entrance. There was noting pleasant about this nothing pleasurable. I screamed when I felt his finger penetrate me. Loud and shrill the kind of scream that happens when people get axed in scary movies. I wished so hard that Gerard would come busting through the door to save me. Then the door opened. In stepped a beautiful tall boy, with lips like a woman's and deep brown eyes. Daddy spun around "Get out of my House"! The man walked over to daddy, grabbed his head, and drove his face into his knee. There was a spine melting crunch and Daddy fell on to the floor holding his nose. The fluffy haired man bent down to help me up after watching me struggle to put pants on. I took his hand and he pulled me up. He walked over to Daddy and put a foot on his chest. "We'll be back, don't hold your breath" With that we exited. We walked down the stairs in silence. He was still holding my hand and so I didn't let go. "You're Mikey right, I'm Ray" I'm a friend of you're brother's" "Oh" Was all I could think to say. We got in his car and drove
Frank helped me down the stairs. As soon a we rounded the corner I could see Mikey standing there playing the bass along with a guitar accompaniment of Fluffy. I looked at Frank " Ray won't hurt him, he's really sorry. We need to talk after you talk to Mikey. I'll explain everything I haven't already.
I hugged Mikey harder than I had ever before. " Whats going on Gee, Ray came to our house and rescued me and beat up daddy I was so scared for you, I thought you'd been abducted by a serial killer or something"
F POV/ R POV
MUST NOT ERRUPT IN LAUGHTER
"What! When? What did dad do, did he hit you!?" I looked at Ray who's face was grim, "...Yeah, but then Ray came in and saved me" I looked at the ground and Gerard hugged me again. "I'm just glad your okay, I'll never leave you again, I'm almost old enough for a real job and we'll move out and I don't know but we'll make it work" I knew I'd have to start learning to care for myself. Gerard was hurt and I had to man up, he couldn't do this by himself, maybe Ray would help. I thought I'd lighten the mood a bit " So um Gee, is this Frank?" I asked in that tone of voice that girls on TV use when they're talking about a boy that their friend likes. "Yeah" Gerard smiled up at Frank and for a second I hated Frank, for making Gerard use that tone, that tone that was so obvious to devotion, but the way he smiled reminded me that he needed someone else just as much as I needed him. "Ohhhh" I leaned up on my toes and whispered loud enough for everyone to here "Nice, Gee!" Everyone giggle and looked at me. I caught Rays eyes and there was something in that look that made me feel even less comfortable being the momentary center of attention. Like he was seeing me naked or seeing through my skin or something that involves X-Ray vision. "Well I'm gonna go take a shower, I feel like just standing in this room will get me charged with something awful and very statutory..." He put down his guitar. And padded up the stairs. " I need to talk to Gerard for a little while Mikey, mind if I steal him for a bit." I smiled shyly knowing that they were probably gonna do more things than that. "okay just have him home by nine young man!" They laughed, and with that frank picked up Gerard, who squealed, and ran up the stairs.
I decided to do some exploring. The sun was rising finally and so I peeked out the front door. I walk around the sidewalk near the pool, the back patio was like something out of a TV show, with nice furniture that was in color coordinance with the stained cement. The door to the pool house was open. Maybe Ray was in there. As I approached it I saw the blood just a few drops at first then more leading to the back room. I knew that according to every horror movie I'd ever scene with Gee. I was being the over curious kid who would be murdered any second. Truthfully I am a full blown scaredy-cat, but what if somebody was hurt or needed help. I reached for the door knob in nearly slow motion.
The scene in front of me was...Surgical instruments were lined up next to the bed. What could only be torture devices were hung on a poster board wall. The thin plastic sheets were coated in blood, and cuffs hung ominously open and empty from the wrought iron frame. I drew in a scream breath slapping my hand over my mouth, tears welling in my eyes. I crumpled down on the ground my knees just gave out. OH GOD GEE! The way he moved the wound on his stomach, his 'accident'. It wasn't an accident it was this. I've got to get back to him. Frank's a serial killer he's gonna kill Gerard! I pushed myself spinning around and runny straight into...
I went to go tidy up the mess I'd made with Gerard. I did feel bad about that, but it hasn't changed my views really in the slightest. The door was ajar when I entered the pol house I went straight t my killing jar. Sure enough little Mikey had found his way to carnage like a god boy. I thought Gerard was beautiful but Mikey is, poisonous. Still so rottenly innocent, still so fragile and delicious. It was a matter of moments till he'd scream. I took broad fast steps and closed the distance to him in a few seconds he was picking himself up off the floor. In one swoop I grabbed both of his hand in my right and with my left I covered his mouth. He fought, thrashing and squirming in a writhing little mess. I held him there against the wall. There was nothing outwardly sexual about it, I was pressing myself against him. But everything was screaming FUCK EAT KILL, The way he was so utterly vulnerable I n my grasp. He stopped thrashing suddenly and looked up at me all big green eyes and wet lashes. Nghhhh...must not eat. "Calm down Mikey its okay" "Ray Franks a serial killer! He hurt Gerard we gotta save him. Will yo help me" How endearing, how adorable, do not eat, do not break. "Mikey, Gerard is safe Frank could never hurt that boy. Ever. I did this to Gerard. I'm sorry that it was him. I won' hurt either of you. I let his arms go. And he hugged me HE hugged ME. "Thank you" He wailed. I hugged him back dumbstruck. "Why are you thanking me Mikes I hurt your brother." "You did, but you stopped, and you saved me which I never said thank you for and sorry for crying and making a big deal and-" He dissolved into sobs, snotting on me in the process but it was those doughy little boy tears that threw me over the edge. He climbed into my lap and I held him, I held him near me as opposed to under me, and it 't felt wrong in a right kind of way. Perhaps I'll take him some other day, but I knew I wouldn't.
Sometimes when you eat things that are too sweet, they makes your teeth ache.