L's last thoughts as he dies at the hands of Light Yagami
Disclaimer: /I don't own anything, Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba./
I'm dying, I know I'm dying, it was that Shinigami.
L's thoughts spun, he was still trying to solve the case, even though it was his last seconds of his life, he still wanted to go out knowing the real truth of who Kira was. It was all clear now. He'd been such a fool.
Light, I thought you were my friend.
He truly thought he'd found someone who understood him, who wanted to do good like him. A man who believed in justice, a seemingly good man who had proven that he was brilliant, even more than he was, and he, L, was the world's greatest detective.
He deduced that Misa Amane had helped Light regain his memories of being Kira, and that he had used the Death Note to kill Higouchi. That must have been his Death Note they had confiscated. He pitied Misa, Light was using her just like he used him and deceived him. Kira would be that kind of person, someone who only cared about themselves.
Somehow, I was right all along, Light Yagami is Kira.
Light had fooled him completely, he had always suspected Light was Kira but after he put Light Yagami and Misa Amane in solitary confinement, Light changed, he truly was convinced he wasn't Kira, he wasn't even trying to pretend anymore. He'd grown to trust him, and in the end, it had been his downfall.
My John is also my Judas, ironic.
He remembered in the Christian religion that John was "the one that Jesus loved", even one of the most prominent religious figures had a best friend. He'd always wanted friends, but too many people were put off by his genius intellect to actually want to be his friend. He thought he'd found a good friend in Light Yagami, but he was wrong. It was all an act Light had concocted to kill him.
To //save/ your life is to lose it, and to lose your life is to save it./
Isn't that something in a Bible? It went something like that, or was it different? He didn't know. He'd been in a church once, none of it made logical sense, but logic and facts were his expertise, not religion. L decided the saying made sense, sometimes, it was better to give things up instead of trying to keep them, but in this case, it was his very life he was giving up, in exchange for a true victory over Kira, his successors would finish his job. He'd found the evidence, but he wouldn't live long enough to prove it, but they would prove his suspicions correct. He hoped he would be able to see the shocked look on Light's face from the afterlife.
Funny, in the end, I'm dying and I'll still win.
It was a good thing he had all his backup plans in place, he'd had a feeling that he wouldn't come out of this alive, but still, it would have been interesting to see how Mello and Near would catch him. Maybe in this Shinigami world, he'd somehow get to see all the action. He hadn't yet chosen a successor, but if he had to choose, he'd pick Near.
I suppose Light thinks he's god, if he is, then I'm happy I don't have to live here.
What a silly reason to use the Death Note, gods were eternal, immortal, Light was neither, some god, what a joke. Any kind of world he'd create would be a sad, crapsack place to live. At least, in a world with criminals, you had free will. Sure people would be "good", but that would be because they didn't want to get caught. And what about all of the unsolved murders and crimes where there were no witnesses? Kira couldn't punish those people. And what about innocent people in jail, cases were overturned all the time. Kira couldn't be perfect in his judgments.
Death Notes were truly terrible things in the hands of humans, in the hands of Shinigami, it was logical for them, after all, they were supernatural beings, they didn't think about if a person was good or bad, they just wrote names, they were impartial. A human who decided if someone lived or died didn't have that right as no one should take another person's life, even if they were evil. Let justice decide, let the law decide, that was what the law was for in the first place.
No one was above the law, not even Light Yagami. L was happy, at least in the afterlife, he wouldn't have to stare at Light's smirking face. He wondered what it would be like for Light whenever he died, would he be happy, satisfied with being the "god of a new world". Or would he be scared like L was in his last moments? He was scared, he knew that, it was logical, a fact. But at least he could be happy, knowing he solved cases, brought victims closure, and had the satisfaction of putting evil people in jail where they belonged.
Still, there were so many things he'd never gotten to do. He'd never met a pretty girl who fell in love with him. He would never start a family, not settle down to a nice retirement. Light was lucky and he couldn't even be happy, he had a beautiful model who loved him unconditionally, she'd do anything for him.
A lot of people would have killed to have a life like Light Yagami. That was an ironic statement. Still, if he put away the Death Note and returned to a normal life, he could be happy. But L could feel happy about his life, he'd lived it to its fullest, and that was all that mattered in the end. He had a feeling Light would keep playing silly games until the day he died.
His eyes were feeling heavy, it was time to go, he guessed. Funny, L always thought he'd die in his sleep or being shot up while on a case, but not of a heart attack in the arms of his murderer. But the plan was in place, and he'd win in the end, so he could die with dignity.
In the end, I'll win; everything's going exactly as planned.
His eyes slipped shut and L Lawliet died of a heart attack.