“I’ve only ever known being used.”
The cops weren’t around for long and the people breaking windows and knocking on things disappeared before they showed up, one downside of living so far out of town. A police report was filed, with Jon leaving out any mention of Christian’s (ex)-boyfriend. He didn’t want her to have to go through that just yet.
Once finished Jon set the hammer down beside his bed, and turned towards Christian. She pulled the headphones off, “I’m sorry.”
Jon shook his head, “What for? I hated that window anyway.”
A smile tugged at Christian’s lips but didn’t stay for long. “This is going to keep happening until I leave, you know?”
“Well baby, your ex-boyfriend is pretty damn stupid if he thinks a couple of broken windows are going to scare me away.” Jon watched Christian, wondering just how scared she was. Once the cops had shown up her entire face became masked, and she hid her emotions well.
“And the dead animal?” Christian bit her lip, and Jon sighed heavily. He’d hoped to keep that secret from her but when the police arrived she’d gone outside and seen it with her own eyes.
Jon looked away, “I’m going to take a quick shower and then I’m going to get some sleep. I’m tired. I’ll leave the bathroom door open in case you need anything.”
Christian just nodded, saying nothing.
Jon completed his shower in record time, too worried about Christian to even enjoy it. With all that she’d been through he wasn’t really helping as much as he’d like to, and his point wasn’t being made by all of this chaos and he didn’t know what to do to show her that she could be safe from Benjamin; the man seemed to be everywhere.
He wrapped a clean towel around his waist and left, but heard something in the living room which stopped him from going back to his bedroom.
“What are you doing?” Jon’s voice startled Christian and she gasped, looking away from the computer screen. As Jon approached her he saw the screen was open to the website ‘Christian’s Desires’, lewdly displaying her. “Don’t look at that.” Jon softly scolded, closing his laptop.
“I just want to know what I did wrong.” Christian whispered, glancing at the closed laptop. “What I did to deserve all of this, and to deserve Benjamin.”
Jon shook his head, sitting next to Christian on the couch. “You didn’t do anything.”
“How do you know? We just met.”
“Because I know that no one deserves this shit.” He gestured to his trashed living room, rocks having knocked several items down. “No one deserves to be beaten.” He ran his finger along her jawline, where yet another bruise was in the making. “And no one deserves to live the way you’re living.”
“Then why is this happening?” Christian’s eyes filled with tears, and she realized running away brought more tears than staying ever had. She was more afraid than she’d ever been because she knew if Benjamin ever got her alone again then he wouldn’t be very forgiving, and all of this suspense was too frightening for her to deal with.
Jon grabbed on to Christian’s wrists, shaking her slightly until she looked at him. “This is happening because some people in this world are sick Christian, and you had the misfortune to run in to one of those people. It has nothing to do with you, and it’s only hurting you because of how good you actually are. Do you think that if you were a bad person, or some worthless slut, that you’d keep running and he’d keep coming after you?” Jon’s eyes sparked with anger as he stared in to Christian’s innocent hazel eyes, which had become wide with fright yet again. “You’re running away because you don’t like what he’s doing, because you aren’t sick like he is.”
“I’m sorry.” Christian breathed out, her heart beating quickly within her chest.
“I wish you wouldn’t be.” Jon replied, feeling the heat of the moment press down upon them.
“I can’t help it.” Christian answered, as Jon’s grip tightened around her wrists. He hadn’t even noticed.
“I’ll help you with that too.” Jon promised, his face gradually moving closer to hers. All Christian could do was stare, something inside of her stomach tightening as instant fluttering took over in place of her beating heart. As Jon’s lips crashed upon Christian’s they both felt something, though neither would take the time to acknowledge just what it was that they felt.
It was sweet and simple, lasting for mere seconds, and then Jon was pulling away. Christian bit her lip, surprise registering across her face. “Now it’s my turn to be sorry.” Jon awkwardly let go of Christian’s wrists upon realizing that he still had hold of them.
“I wish you wouldn’t be.” Christian answered, a smile tugging at her lips once again.
Jon smiled in return, “So then it wasn’t a bad thing to kiss you?”
“I owed you.” Christian whispered, watching Jon’s expression change from playful to troubled, “You’ve done so much for someone you don’t even know.”
“You don’t owe me anything, and you definitely don’t owe me anything physical.” Jon replied, frowning. “I thought for a second that you wanted me to kiss you. I’ve never been very good at reading body language though.”
“I did-“ Christian swallowed hard, “I did want it, I think.”
“I’ve never been kissed for my pleasure, and I’ve never kissed anyone for my own benefit.” Christian muttered, blushing furiously. “It’s something new for me, to kiss you for my own… - because I wanted to.”
“I don’t understand.” Jon bluntly stated his feelings, not sure as to what Christian meant.
The blushing continued, making Christian uncomfortable as Jon gazed at her. “I’ve only ever known being used.” Christian whispered, looking away from Jon’s burning gaze. “And all I know to do with this body is use it to avoid as much pain as I can.”
Jon carefully placed his hands on his lap, “I didn’t realize how bad it was.” He muttered, horror filling his very being. “I won’t touch you again, I promise.”
“I- I liked-“ Christian paused, not used to voicing her wants or needs. “I liked when you held me earlier.”
“When we were in the closet?” Jon asked.
“Yeah, it felt nice.”
“Did Benjamin never hold you?” Jon asked, mentally cursing himself for even bringing him up.
Christian just shook her head.
“Would you like me to hold you again tonight?” Jon wasn’t sure what was crossing the line but apart from being physical he had no idea how to comfort another person, and he really wanted to comfort Christian.
“Are you ready for bed?” After all of the shit that had happened the idea seemed daunting, even to Jon. He wasn’t sure he felt safe closing his eyes, even for a few hours.
“Yeah.” Christian stood up, and Jon noticed that she was limping.
“What’s wrong with your foot?”
“I stepped on some glass on accident.” Christian admitted.
“Did you get all of the glass out?”
“I think so. It’s just sensitive now.”
“Let me clean the cuts before we go to bed.” Jon urged, watching the way Christian’s features became surprised once again. Was it really that weird to her for someone to care?
Jon groaned, rolling over in bed. He’d been nice and warm all night but now suddenly his entire bed seemed cold, and even though he pulled the blanket tightly to his chest the cold still remained.
Against his will his eyelids fluttered open and he stared in to the dark of his room, realizing that the cardboard sheltered him from the light quite well. It was better than blinds. Then again the cold seeping out from underneath the cardboard wasn’t keeping him too happy and he knew he’d have to get his ass out of bed and call a repairman, and then deal with someone being in his house for god knows how long, he’d never had to get windows fixed before… who knew how long it could take. Christian? Jon peered beside him, realizing the bed was empty of his house guest. Maybe that’s why it was so damn cold.
His quiet footsteps echoed down the hallway as he headed to the living room, hoping to find Christian there, which he did, but not quite how he expected. The glass was picked up, and Christian was currently sitting wide eyed, laptop open in front of her.
“Good morning.” Jon greeted her, “What are you watching?” He could hear someone talking but then Christian immediately muted the laptop.
“He taped it Jon.” Christian responded, and as Jon sat beside her she slammed the laptop closed, a look of fury distorting her beautiful face. “He taped it.”
“Taped what?” Jon gently pried the laptop from Christian’s hands and opened it, letting the screen flicker back to life. “Oh shit.” Christian leaned forward, pressing her soft hands over his eyes, to hide her naked body from his direct view.
“He taped me having sex with him, and all of his creepy friends but of course their faces are all blacked out, while mine shows quite clearly, along with the rest of my body.” She sounded disgusted, and so very angry. Jon wasn’t pleased at the news, though he’d suspected it. Mostly he was just pleased that Christian now sounded angry, instead of scared and apologetic.
Jon closed the laptop and Christian slowly removed her hands from in front of his eyes, “Sorry.” She blushed, “What I probably should’ve started out with was good morning.”
Jon chuckled, “Would you like me to go back to my bedroom and then come back out? We could do it again.”
“Could you?” Christian asked, grinning.
Jon got up without another word and left the room, only to return a few minutes later. “Good morning!” He loudly declared, grinning lopsidedly.
Christian couldn’t help but continue grinning in return. “Good morning.” She stood up, glancing around. “I cleaned up the glass but I wasn’t sure what else I could do, you know… in return for you letting me stay the night.”
“Well, you could have stayed in bed.” Jon replied, teasingly. “It was a little cold without you.” More than a little cold, but he wasn’t one to get stuck on honesty. Sometimes things needed to be downplayed a little, for everyone’s sake.
Christian laughed, “I’m sorry. I guess I should have stayed but once I wake up I usually can’t fall back asleep and I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Are you hungry?” Jon asked, just as his home phone started ringing. “Sorry, it’ll just be a second.” Jon said, grabbing the phone. “What’s up?”
“Calm down Spencer, I just woke up. It was a long night.” Jon rolled his eyes and walked to another room, leaving Christian to open the laptop back up. She took one last long look at the image of herself, at her very worst and then she clicked out of the webpage, promising herself that she wouldn’t look at it again.
When Jon walked back in to the living room Christian was looking at pictures of him and his mother, which were framed and hung on the wall, “You look so happy with her.” Christian noted, hearing Jon enter the room.
“She’s one hell of a woman.” Jon responded. “She doesn’t stand for unhappiness.” He added, teasingly.
Christian chuckled, “She raised one hell of a guy.”
“And I don’t stand for unhappiness either.” Jon said, stepping closer to Christian, “So wipe that frown from your face because we’re going out for breakfast.”
Christian fought against the frown, “I can’t go out anywhere public, I don’t have any clothes.”
“I have an idea that just might fix that.” Jon replied, gently grabbing Christian’s hand. They both looked down at their intertwined fingers before leaving the room together, Jon tugging her back towards his bedroom.
Jon dropped Christian’s hand once they were inside his bedroom and pulled open his bottom drawer. Seconds later a pair of sweats and a t-shirt was thrown on to the bed beside Christian. “Try that.” Jon instructed, leaving the room.
Christian left Jon’s room once she was dressed, “Jon, I’m not sure your sweats are going to stay on.” She had the string pulled as tightly as it would go but it still just barely kept the sweats on her hips.
Jon appeared from the kitchen doorway, holding up a safety pin. “This was the idea.” Jon admitted, coming closer.
Christian lifted the t-shirt so that Jon could see what he was doing. He pulled the waistband of the sweats to one side, and then doubled the fabric over, sticking the safety pin through it, careful not to hit Christian’s skin. Once it was in place he let go, “Walk, and see if it stays.”
Christian took a few steps and then awkwardly shook her hips, earning a laugh from Jon. “I think it’ll work.” Christian finally said, playfully glaring at him for laughing.
“So, do you have a favorite?” Jon asked.
“I have a lot of favorites; you’re going to have to be more specific.”
“Or you could just tell me them all.” Jon replied smugly.
Christian sighed, faking annoyance. “You’re supposed to be nice to me.”
“Because if you aren’t I’m not giving your clothes back.” Christian stuck her tongue out.
Jon instinctively leaned forward, catching her mouth in his. They both froze, quite surprised. “Shit.” Jon was the first to pull away once again, “I’m an idiot.”
“Well, okay but do you have a reason?”
“I know you don’t like being kissed.” Jon blushed, “But for some damn reason I keep doing it.”
Christian blushed in return, “I don’t mind being kissed by you.”
“I don’t mind if you don’t give me back my clothes.”
Christian didn’t respond, a thoughtful expression appearing upon her face.
“So, by favorite I meant… What’s your favorite place to eat around here?”
“Oh, for breakfast? I’m not really sure. I usually skip breakfast.” Christian admitted.
“What?” Jon’s mouth fell open. “But it’s the most important meal of the day!”
Christian’s stomach growled and Jon’s eyebrow raised, “And you’ve obviously been terrorizing your stomach by not allowing it such pleasures.”
Christian giggled; the sound something beautiful to Jon’s still waking ears.
“So, do you mind if my friends join us for breakfast?”
Christian nibbled upon her bottom lip, not really taken with the idea of being seen in public looking so shitty. “Of course not.” She managed the lie quite well, even forcing in a believable smile.
Jon smiled back.