Mikey looks after Gerard. Gabe looks after Mikey. GABEKEY one-shot. Read, review, rate and feel my love! :P
“Oh. Oh, Mikes. C’mere, Honey.”
He just curls in further to himself, hiding his tiny body from view by melting deeper into the tunnel of the kiddie play park just around the corner from his house. I knew this is where he’d be hiding, so naturally I ran here first after getting the call from Frankie.
The call saying that my boyfriend was gone; had ran away from home in the middle of the night, no trace of him to be found anywhere. Not so much as a note or a wave goodbye. Just gone, and that was it.
I think Frank was scared that my boyfriend had done the unthinkable, which isn’t surprising given Mikey’s track record, but I know better than that; I know Mikey Way way better than anyone else and that is why I immediately knew where to find him, which in turn is probably why I was the one contacted with regards to his disappearance before anyone else was.
The one thing I don’t know about my sweet little boyfriend, however, is the reason that he’s acting like this. The reason that he’s been acting off for the past few weeks, actually. By off I don’t mean rude or mean, just different. Like he’s distracted, and not in a good way. What’s worrying me the most though, is the fact that I don’t know. I mean, I’m his boyfriend; it’s my job to know what’s wrong with the fifteen-year-old even when no one else can get through to him.
But no. I have absolutely no idea and he won’t let me get close enough to find out. Two things that break my heart completely; I know his trust is hard earned, but I thought it was a privilege I had earned a long, long time ago. Back when his big brother was still sober enough to hate my guts for dating his innocent little baby bro.
A loud crack of thunder erupts like audible lava in the sky overhead, thumping me out of my thoughts and back to the horribly distressing situation at hand; my boyfriend and the fact that he’s hiding at the tunnel on the top of a climbing frame.
Without even thinking about it, I scale the ladder onto the platform that holds one of the entrances to the tunnel Mikey’s cowering away in and poke my head into the dark gloominess of the child’s simple plaything. The sight my eyes fall upon is far from pleasing; Mikey’s curled into a tight ball, hands gripping tightly onto the worn fabric covering his knees, and his face is completely fucking torn apart by the lightning strikes of his tears. Tears that I should be drying up, not questioning the worryingly mysterious origin of.
“Hey, there, Honey. It’s just me, it’s just silly ol’ Gabe. Nobody else here.” I call through to him, trying to keep my voice soft yet un-patronizing at the same time. “Just me, you and the big blue sky up above.”
I hear a sniffle, followed by the sound of something dragging along a squeaky metal surface, and before I know it Mikey’s moved halfway up the tunnel towards me. I offer him my best reassuring smile, the one that I give to him without question whenever he gets beaten up or teased at school, and throw in a wink for good measure. He always says that me winking at him makes him feel special, like he’s important just because I took time out of my day to give him the small gesture. I guess it’s kind of heart-breaking that he thinks like that, like he needs to be reminded of his importance, but at the same time it is undeniably adorable.
Everything about him is.
“Just you? No Frank or Ray or nobody?”
I look around me out of habit, before looking back to my emerging treasure and shaking my head.
“Just me, Honey.” I reply, hoping that it’s just enough to pull him out of his tight little hidey-hole and straight into my eager arms.
A few more sniffles and squeaks flood out from the tunnel before he finally emerges on all fours, glasses askew at the end of his nose and lips quaking as though he’s never not been crying.
I know better than that though; he’s hardly ever crying when he’s with me, safe and sound wrapped up in my arms or my bed covers or both. It hurts, like really fucking burns, seeing such sweet perfection looking so utterly destroyed, but at least I’ve got him out of that hole now. At least now I know for sure that he’s not hanging from some desolate old tree in the middle of nowhere, like he almost was last time he ran off without telling anyone.
He’s past that now, though. I pulled him through it and now he’s better.
But that doesn’t help the fact that I’ve currently got a lapful of sobbing teenager clinging onto me as though I’m the only thing keeping him anchored to the Earth. Perhaps I am, I know I am, but that doesn’t make it any less painful for me to have to watch him act like this without knowing the reason why.
Because if I don’t know the reason why, then how am I meant to make it go away for him?
I can’t. So I’m just going to have to be patient and gentle and whatever else Mikey Way needs me to be in order for him to feel comfortable enough to tell me what’s gotten his pretty little head all worried. I just hope it isn’t the kids, more like demons, at his school again; I don’t think he can take losing what little confidence having me as a boyfriend has miraculously bestowed upon him.
He shifts in my arms, burying his face in my neck and listening deep into my shirt for my heartbeat. For something to remind him that I’m here and he’s not alone; that he’s the most loved boy to ever have lived because nobody’s ever loved anyone as much as I love Mikey Way right now.
“Try to calm down, Mikey.” My voice is a whisper, my tone matching my words. “Jesus, Honey, you’re frozen. How long have you been out here?”
“Since last night.”
I reel back slightly to gawp at his skinny frame; he’s wearing nothing by jeans and a skimpy old t-shirt with holes in it from overuse. I’m wearing tracksuit bottoms and a thick hoodie over two layers of tops and I’m still freezing my ass off out here.
My poor little Mikey; whatever’s happened must have been awful to drive him out here in the cold like this.
In response to his shivered answer, I pull him in even closer to my body heat. I don’t care that his skin is so icy that it almost hurts to have contact with it; all I care about is getting my baby warm again before he catches a chill. If he hasn’t already.
“Fucking hell, Honey.” I mutter, rubbing my hands speedily over his back in a vain attempt to get some sort of warmth back into him. “What happened?” At my gentle question he visibly winces, which in turn makes my heart skip a beat in despair. “C’mon, Mikes. You can tell me. You know you can; I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to. But please, you gotta tell me before it gets too bad for you to handle on your own.”
I can’t help the shiver that rattles me at the thought of what ‘too bad’ could possibly mean for my baby. No. Not again. I won’t let ‘too bad’ happen so there’s no point in me even thinking about it. I’ve got him in my arms where nothing can hurt him or cause him hurt and I’m not about to let go anytime soon.
He’s safe. I just have to make sure he knows it.
“It’s…” I nod, smiling real big to let him know that I’m right here and here for nobody else other than him. “It’s Gerard. He’s killing himself, Gabe. And I don’t know what to do to help him anymore.”
Gerard Arthur Way.
Mikey’s big brother and protector; his superhero and his bestest buddy; his family and his world. It’s been different recently though, different and not in a good way. Different in the kind of way that means my boyfriend’s big brother is getting into some dangerous drugs, stuff that even I won’t touch with a ten metre barge-pole, and is undoubtedly an alcoholic.
And it’s always Mikes who has to clean up the mess, or hold Gerard’s hair back as he pukes his guts out, or gets yelled at because his brother doesn’t understand what’s going on around him and Mikey seems like a good thing to let his frustration out on.
It’s killing Mikey. Wearing him out and destroying his shimmering spirit. And I’ve had e-fucking-nough of it; it isn’t fair that Mikey’s making himself suffer because he thinks it’s his job to look after his big brother every time Gerard fucks up his life.
That’s the thing with Mikey; he’s always too quick to take the blame for everyone else’s mistakes. Always too kind to not help someone when they need it, even if he knows he’ll end up getting hurt.
I’m not saying that I think Gerard’s a bad person, far from it, I’m just saying that he’s not exactly acting fair towards poor little Mikey. Or rather, his actions are making Mikey not be fair to himself. I know Gerard Way well enough to know that nobody loves his little brother more than he does, but at the moment he’s too high half the time to even remember that he has a brother, let alone realise that he’s killing him.
But I do realise it though, even if I’m the only one paying enough attention to the younger Way brother to see his suffering, and I’ve had enough.
“You don’t need to look after him, Honey. He knows exactly what he’s doing to himself. You can’t fix someone whose happy being broken.”
His hands form tight fists, tight fists that are suddenly pounding repeatedly on my chest. Physically, they are weak and barely cause anything more than mild irritation to my body. Emotionally, however, each one feels like a relentless tirade of bullets.
“H-he’s not broken, Gabe!” He yells, voice painful and scratchy from the cold. “And I do have to look after him; I’m his brother, for fuck’s sake! Who else do we have if we don’t have each other?“
“Okay, he’s not broken. I’m sorry I said that, Honey.” He’s stopped punching now and is slumped dejectedly back into the warmth of my body, seemingly exhausted by the small exertion. A sure sign that he’s gotten himself all sick with worry and cold. “But you don’t have to look after him. Not on your own, anyway.” He blinks up at me, eyes aching for a solution that will finally allow him to have restful sleep at night. “You’re only fifteen, Honey. You should be out with friends or going to gigs or whatever it is kids do; not looking after your grown-up brother because your parents gave up long ago. I know you think that he’s your responsibility, and I know that you’re more than capable of looking out for each other but, just… don’t let this kill you, my Mikey.” I sigh, seeing his eyes going all droopy as he snuggles even deeper into my body. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. You aren’t letting anyone down by asking for help.”
I press my lips against his forehead, sticking them there like glue despite the fever-bought sweat, and just take a moment to think about how lucky I am to have such a sweet, amazing little boyfriend.
“Gabey, thank you.”
A/N: In response to a request for a Gabekey where Gerard is still addicted and Gabe’s helping Mikey through it. I worked really hard on this one, but I don’t think that it’s as good as it could have been. So sorry about that. But I hope you like it anyway and please let me know what you think! :)