It ain't exactlt what Frank planned... Frerard !
Ok. Forget P Diddy. When I wake up, it's more like “ In your head, zombie, zombie-bie-bie”. I drag myself out of bed with difficulty, cursing my life of a high school student. Don't wanna go back to school... I walk unsteadily toward my mirror. Ouch, zombie, zombie.
By the way, I'm Way. Gerard Way. James Bond is back in pyjamas. Gee for the close friends, though that is not many... I am seventeen, I am neither tall or small, nor big nor thin : I am pathetically normal. All right, not that much. My dark hair fall in front of my eyes lined with red, which, with my pale skin, makes me look like a vampire. In short : creepy. My mother says that I am a " dark handsome ". But since it's my mother, it doesn't count... I moved at the beginning of the summer to New Jersey, I lived in Washington DC before.
I step out of my room in pyjamas (if we can call "pyjamas" boxers and an old StarWars T-shirt), and enter my brother's room, Michael, fourteen, whom we call Mikey. He's half woken. I shake his shoulder.
Let's see if... I come closer to his ear and whisper in a honeyed voice :
" Wake up my loooooove, do you know that you're very sexy with just boxers and no glasses? "
Immediate reaction of the subject: “HUH? Eh ? Where am I ? What? Sexy? Me ?!”
Always obsessed by his appearance...
Laughing, I leave his room and go downstairs to have breakfast...
Ten minutes later, I go back up in my room to get dressed... I am in a “rich” high school, therefore I'm supposed to wear expensive clothes. But I don't care . Black jeans, black T-shirt, black sweatshirt, black sneakers. I am dark, but not handsome. I catch my bag, my iPod and my cellphone, go downstairs, call the little brother (who still didn't get what happened to him), and walk towards my car.
I take Mikey to his new middle school... The girls already stare at him giggling, and the guys with jealously... A group in particular, near the railing, looks at my brother with an almost visceral hostility. I turn the ignition key and drive off, taking the direction of my high school. "
For him, it's so easy. He's very charismatic, cute and classy, and he always has million of friends... Myself, I am weird. And I make do with it.
I park my car in front of the high school. It is a rather modern, white and black building. The yard is pretty big, but without green spaces. It looks like a prison. That is going to be aaawesome. I leave my car, cross the already crowded parking lot, and arrive in front of the gate, also black. The gates are not opened yet. I wait and I observe. That gives me ideas of drawings.
[/“They said all Teenagers scare the living shit out of me,
they could care less, as long as someone will bleed...»
That could make a song... I'll see if can write an arrangement.
Around me, everybody is dressed in branded clothes, showing the new cellphone or the bag which they had probably had for three hundred dollars... That's all an act... A group of hysterical girls apparently happy to see each other again jumps in each other arms and talk about their holidays. Next to them, a group of guys smokes and laugh too loudly.
The doors finally open. The tide of students rushes into the yard. We're waiting for the bell to ring. Suddenly, the sound level falls.
I turn my head to see what it is all about. A guy has just crossed the doors. Rather small, dark hair, piercings, tattoos on his forearm arm, dressed very classy... He walks swaggering along, hands in his pockets, almost in slow motion like in movies.
As I can hear around me, he's very popular and he knows it. He sweeps the yard with an upper and contemptuous glance.
Then a sort of big fair asparagus perched on sixteen centimeter heels and made up like a stolen car jumps into his arms and tries to kiss him. He pushes her away. Nice. Okay then, here, having a girlfriend is just for showing up. The blonde seems shocked one moment, but its hypocritical smile returns as fast as it had disappeared...
" Only two-faced bastards here... " I thought.
The bell rings, we go in class. First hour: math. Yippee.
I am not bad in class, but I don't like working. Then I draw. I could spend hours drawing. It allows me to escape, to create my world, a world without hypocritical people, imbeciles and boasters...
Speaking about boaster, the guy from earlier is in my math class. In the back row. Not surprising... The teacher takes the register. His name is Frank Iero. Looking at him attentively, I have an idea. On my sheet of paper, I draw a skeleton, in black ceremonial suit, with one forgery in the hand, and walks as in a parade.
Suddenly I hear :
"Mr Way. I'd like your total attention, if it is not too much to ask for... "
I quickly put away my unfinished drawing, and I mutter an excuse. She looks up and down me, seeming to be thinkin : " another drifter, and besides he's Gothic..." She rolls her eyes and then continues her lesson.
At the end of the hour, I leave the room, heading toward my next class, when I hear :
" Hey, the Gothic! "
I choose not to take offense at the nickname, and I turn around. Oh oh..
- Hum yes? (God, I'm such a victim...)
- You're new eh?
- H'm, yeah.
- You gotta know, I'm Frank Iero. Don't mess with me and everything will be alright... for you.
- That won't happen, don't worry, I answer unsteadily.
He speaks quickly, with big gestures like the people who know they're the center of attention.
He bends over and catches my drawing which is sticking out of my pocket.
He looks at it, murmurs something which rang as " nasty Gothic ", and gives it back to me. He looks at me and says:
- Anyway, people here don't really like weird guys like you... So you know what to do...
He had touched a sensible spot. First, I'm weird, and I like that. Second, I can not tolerate it when someone tries to tell me what to do/ order me around. I'm naturally calm, but here I don't know if it's the fact that his attitude upsets me like nothing else before or because I don't really like to be insulted in public. Probably both.
- Are you fucking kidding me ?" I reply, "it's not some little shitbag like you who'se not even taller than my shoulder who will try and tell me what to do...
Heavy silence in the corridor. Apparently, one does not talk this way to the "big" Frank Iero. I looks at me open-mouthed. Then he sniffles arrogantly, turns on his heels and leaves, walking in a fast pace.
I turn around : two blokes, a blond one with a piercing in hiw lower lips and a tall one with an afro are looking at me while laughing.
- Hahaha I've rarely seen Frank Iero being owned this way! You don't hear him being called a "shitbag" everyday! You must be new to not know that Frank thinks he's God!" laughs the blond one.
He gently pats my shoulder. I draw back a bit, which he doesn't seem to notice. Then he realises the crowd that had formed around us and shouts while waving his arms :
-Come on, move, nothing to do here, nothing to see!
The curly-haired one, noticing that I had kept silent, eyes lowered, asks me :
-Hey, you okay? You don't look too good... We're not that intimidating, though." he smiles. "But I haven't introduced myself, I'm Ray Toro and the one dealing with the traffic, here, he's Bob Bryar"
- Hum, Gerard Way" I muttered.
- We know the place, if you need help, just ask okay? You can eat with us if you're lost, come and meet us in the cafeteria at lunch time!"
- Er, yeah, why not...
While I was walking away toward my next class, I heard comments about me, and I saw students staring. Fuck it, I was in the spotlights in my first day...
Soporific English class. The rumor about my conversation with Frank had spred already it seemed...
Lunchtime rings, I head to the cafeteria. In the further corner of the room, Bob and Ray are waving at me. I hesitate to go... Then I see that everybody looks at me in a not-so-friendly way. Between the tolerants and the gothicophobic, the choice is easily made.
So I sit at their table. We talk about annything that crosses our minds. At first, I bearly speak at all but they're very talkative and always have a funny comment to say on this or that situation. They're nice, not complicated, and most of all not show-offs... Even if I girls are not indifferents to Bob's charm, which makes Ray and me laugh when a small group of girls passes by and says "Hi Bob" while violently blushing
He's a bit the "dark blond" of the high school. Rather mysterious, shy, but girls find him super attractive. Ray is funny, prejudiceless, he's friend with everybody. He proposes me to stay with them also tomorrow. I answer that I'll see. I'm really antisocial. But it's not in my character/manners to befriend with people I barely know.
When school is over, I return home. Mikey is already there, he jumps in my arms and starts telling me about his day: he already made ton of friends.... Sometimes I envy him.. I go up in my bedroom. Too lazy to do my homework... I go on my computer all evening long and just come down to eat my dinner. I get rid my homework and finish my drawing, which I entitle " The Black Parade. " I take my iPod, select "Plug In Baby" of Muse, and begin to hum. I like singing, as much as drawing. It gives me the feeling to be different. And then my voice is not so disastrous so... I play a little bit of guitar and the bass, when I have the opportunity. I teach the bass to Mikey. He's pretty good actually !
I quickly get involved in the song :
" AND MY PLUG IN BABY, CRUCIFIES MY ENEMIES, WHEN I'M TIRED OF LIVING ! WHOOOOAAAA! "
So fast that my brother descends into my room roaring:
" SHUT THE FUCK UUUUP ! ".
- Language, Mikey.
- But I can't hear myself thinking !
- Don't act like you're actually working, you're playing Call Of Duty. Again.
He goes out. What a geek.
I listen to my iPod a little more, then I go to bed.
The next day, at the high school, I arrive in front of my locker. Distrust. You can never tell what can go out of the aforementioned locker when Frank Iero does not carry you in his heart. I open it. Nothing falls on my head. I takes that as a sign of encouragement on behalf of the fate. The Iero tornado hasn't spotted me yet.
- Hey, it's the friendless loser !
Oh yeah, finally. Fuck it. I ignore him. I shouldn't have.
I feel a violent pain behind the head. I turn around. Look up. Weird.
Frank is supported by two guys built like tanks which seem to breathe intelligence.
- The slightest bit of the politenesses would be to answer, to say hello, and even to bow down like the submissive do...
The bulls chuckle.
Evaluation of the situation : I am facing the most popular guy in high school accompanied with two hefty gorillas. Best solution: THE FLIGHT !
Bad idea finally: my back is against in the locker.
Fuck, what can I do... Let's pass to the plan B : improvisation.
- You're so pitiful and weak that you need two big idiots to attack a guy who never asked you a thing ? I didn't know you were such a coward... I'm sure your fan club doesn't know either...
He responds immediately:
- Oh, the little vampire is showing his fangs ! Well, you're jealous ? You're alone ? Here, I teach you something : being as weird as possible won't help you to make friends... Trust me. And apparently you didn't get that. I bet your number of friends can be counted on the fingers of one hand... And still, if the number of friends could be negative... You think that people don' understand you that's right? Open your eyes, they are afraid of you. Because you're not normal. "
I remain silent. Shit. Touché. One all. I have the impression that he reads me so easily I want to cry. Shit. SHIT.
- Come on, Way, don't cry fag, that would be too bad to make a fool of yourself in front of everyone...
Indeed, a huge crowd of students that had apparently nothing else to do formed around us.
The bell rings. I slam the door of my locker ( a very spiritual answer) and I cleared off as quickly as possible.
- See you later, fag! " Says Frank.
Around him, nobody laughs, unlike usually. A student tries :
- Maybe you've gone too far, Frank...
The said Frank doesn't even need to move, one of the threatening bulls go and stands in front of the impertinent, who whispers : " Okay, Never mind... "
The crowd dissolves. Each leaves to their next class. I see people smiling at me with condolence. I hate condolence. I don't need it. Thank you very much.
Physics : I don't listen. I am so angry that I don't even feel like drawing. I want to scream. I take a
sheet of paper :
“Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go- it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took.
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor ?
I'm not OKAY
I'm not, OKAAAAY
I'm not OKAAAY, you wear me OUT !»
It calms down me. And it gives me another idea for a song.
The morning passes, and at noon, I eat alone. Bob and Ray must have seen that something was wrong, but they don't ask me any question and leave me in private with my solitude and my black thoughts.
Another lesson : PE. The Teacher explains the usual program. I don't listen and I remain one hour prostrate in my angry mood.
I go back home.
When emptying my backpack, I fall on the sheet where I wrote my feelings earlier. I take my guitar, and I begin to improvise. The atomic bomb Mikey tumbles in my room without knocking and shouts :
- Hey it's awesome ! What is it ?
- Hum nothing, forget it...
I don't even feel like talking to him. He doesn't care, he's used to my whimsical nature... He's about to leave my room, but I suddenly say :
- Hey, wait Mikey, go and get your bass, I have an idea!
He doesn't need to be told twice, and runs to fetch it.
Together, we try to play the melody, all evening long. At about one o'clock, we have written a kind of tablature, and here we are, two idiots bellowing out : " I' M NOT OKAAAAYAYAYAYAYAY " making our guitars scream. It looks like a fucking concert ! The neighbor eventually turns up and the Ways' concert ends in an fit of laughter and an epic pillow fight.
We are so exhausted that we fall asleep both on my bed, still fully dressed.
Two monotonous weeks pass, during which Iero doesn't haze me. He just gives me criminal looks when I walk past him. I spend more and more time with Bob and Ray. They seem to accept me as I am. The teachers finally leave me alone. Even if I don't pay attention in class, I get A's and B's everywhere, so they let me draw in peace.
I also made a tablature of the song that I had imagined at the start of the school year. I called it Teenagers.
Then once at lunchtime, while I was eating with Ray and Bob, the latter asks me:
- "You'd like to come to mine tonight?"
- "I'll be there too." adds Ray
- "Er, if it doesn't bother you.."
- "If I'm asking you, I doesn't bother me!" Bob laughs.
- "Okay, sure then!"
- "Alright dude!"
Ray adds: "I heard that we have a business class this afternoon!!"
Bob and I exclaim at the same time: "WHAT??"
- "But economy is so boring!!" Bob collapsed on the table.
- "Are they serious?!" I exclaim "I have better things to do..."- "Yeah, I mean, it's so much better to be home geeking and eating, eh Gee?"
Gee. It's been a long time since someone called me by my nickname. Well, except my brother.
- "You'll see, it's gonna be fun!"
We look at him both with faces full of fried fish.
- "Funny, you don't seem very convinced!!" He laughs "At least, we're all together!"
As we had predicted. "THIS IS BORING AS FUCK!!!"
The teacher (who's wearing a checked shirt and badly cut sideburns) speaks. Speaks and speaks again and again for hours. Suddenly, the teacher stops and says:
- "Mr Toro, are you listening to me?"
Silence. Somebody snores. Everybody turns around: Ray fell asleep, his head on the wall, his mouth wide open.
Bob and I stare at each other.
And we suddenly burst out laughing like crazy, unable to stop. The teacher gets angry:
- "Mr Way and Mr Bryar, I'm asking you to stop!"
We try to calm down. The teacher shakes
Ray, who surfaces with difficulty.
- "Well then, Raymond, you're resting?"
Ray winks, and looks around him.
- "Eh? Er, a² + b²!"
My eyes meet Bob's, and we start laughing even harder, incapable of shutting up...
The teacher shouts, pointing at us
"MR WAY and MR BRYAR, YOU (little circular gesture toward the door) GO OUT!"
We gather our stuff and we go out into the corridor, still laughing.
- "Finally, business was pretty fun!" Says Bob.
- "It's been a long time since I had laughed that much!"
As we decide to wait for Ray, Bob asks me..
- "Otherwise, what do you do when you're not at school?"
- "Er sports, sometimes, drawing, and I play a little guitar and bass. I give lessons to my brother."
- "Your brother?"
- "Yeah, Mikey, I mean Michael, he is fourteen."
- "Okay! Ray also plays guitar, and I play drums!"
He begins to improvise a rhythm, hitting his thigh lightly.
- "It's awesome!"
He thanks me with a smile.
- "Hey can I see one of your drawings?" He asks me.
A bit reluctantly, because I don't like to show off, I hand him my "The Black Parade" drawing.
- "Wow it's brilliant! You're amazing."
- "Haha thank you!" I smile.
- "Oh yeah, tonight, you can show up around seven, okay? And bring your bass or your guitar or
whatever, that'd be great!"
I nod. Somebody knocks me down. I turn around to see one of Frank's gorillas. I brace myself to shout at him, but Bob looks at me, seeming to say.. "Forget it, he was just too fat to avoid you."
He walks toward the parking lot. The bell finally rings, and Ray leaves the class, so we can make fun of him (a lot).
I head toward my car. Leaning on the car parked next to mine, standing in his so-called magnificence, is Iero. He shoots me a murderous glance. Ouch. I think very strongly. "Do not speak to me, do not speak to me! Go away, leave me alone!"
Apparently, Iero doesn't use telepathy yet because he sniggers and says..
- "Hey, little nerd! Wow, I'm surprised you didn't kill yourself yet because everyone hates you!"
I don't feel like replying with anything smart, or whatever so the only appropriate answer I found is
- "Go fuck yourself." whilst flipping him off.
He mutters angrily,
- "You're. SO. Dead."
I royally ignore him. I start my car and reverse it. I just have time to see him taking out his three hundred dollars phone and calling somebody.
Once returning home, I walk past the kitchen.
- "Anyone home?"
My mother answers me:
- "Hi darling!"
- "Hm, just wanted to let you know, I’m going out tonight, to a friend's."
- "Great dear! Will you take Mikey with you?"
- "What? NO! No way! Forget it!"
- "Haha I was just teasing you!"
- "Er... Sure. I leave within one hour."
I go up the stairs, enter the bathroom and I take a burning shower. Ghaaa it feels so good...
My mother knocks on the door.
- "Gee, there's a call for you!
Will the world ever leave me alone?!
I quickly leave the shower, still soaked, just wearing a towel around my waist. (The author takes her fantasies to reality). I take the phone:
- "Yeah Gee, it's Bob, I just realized I didn't tell you where I live! Haha I'm so useless..."
- "It's okay!"
He gives me his address, I thank him and hang up.
I dry myself, slip on boxers and jeans, and decide to go and annoy Mikey. I come into his room. He's playing Call Of Duty AGAIN. I make an awful older brother: I stand in front of the screen and I start singing and dancing. I know it irritates him excessively. He shouts:
- "GO AWAY!! I CAN'T SEE ANY MORE FUCK I'M DEAD I'TS YOUR FAULT I HATE YOU!"
He drops his joystick and pounces on me. We collapse on his bed and I tickle him until he roars with laughter. We begin to fight gently (Man, he's strong!). I finally overcome him, basically sitting on his back.
- "AAAAAH I CAN'T BREATHE! LET ME GO, YOU ELEPHANT!"
I catch him by the neck and rub his hair with my phalanxes. (I know, it hurts like hell...).
I release him and stretch out on his bed.
- "How's life? School?" I ask.
- "Ah yeah, it's alright!"
- "What about girls? Still not interested?"
He blushes. Mwhahaha..
- "C'mon, tell everything to your lovely brother!"
- "NO! It's none of your business!! You don't even know her and..."
He breaks off, realizing that he just blew his cover.
- "Ooooh little Mikey is in loooooove!!"
(I'm such a horrible brother!)
- "So what? It's forbidden?”
- "Aw you're so cute... Alright I need to go... See you!"
- "Where are you going?"
- "None of your fucking busine- A friend's."
- "Okay... And, hm, you won't tell mom what I told you, eh?"
- "I can't promise!"
He's so adorable, no surprise the girls are stuck on him!
I take my guitar, put on a T-shirt, shoes and I leave for Bob's. He lives in a rather fancy suburban. I park in front of his house and ring. Ray opens the door.
- "Hey Gee!"
He high-fives me and lets me in. Bob is sprawled on the sofa.
- "Yo Gee! Well as you can see, we take part in cultural and intelligent activities: CALL OF DUTY."
- "Haha don't worry, my brother spends his life on his video games, I'm used to it!"
- "Alright Baby, you play?"
I take the joystick and here we are for two hours of, I kill you, and rhhaaaa I hate you, take that, and shit, where the fuck is my bazooka, fuck I'm dead again, Ray, you're going to suffer, go for it Gee, I can't wait to see, Bob, only cowards attack from behind...
The appeal of the fridge eventually distract us, we defrost a pizza, a pack of beer magically appeared in our hands.
"It's forbidden to drink under the age of 21." says Ray.
- "SHUT UP!" Bob and I answered.
We settle down in the garage, there was Bob's drum kit.
We eat, we drink and Ray asks me:
- "Hey Gee, show us how you play!"
I take my guitar and I start to perform "Holiday", originally by Green Day.
- "Not bad!!"
He takes his and begins a crazy riff, his fingers moving extremely quickly on the neck of his guitar. Then he starts to play: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana, and Bob gets up, sits down behind his drum kit and begins to play in rhythm. Seems like they've done this all their lives... It's just... Wow.
I take out the tablature of the song I wrote with Mikey, and I propose to them:
- "Could you guys try to play that?"
I show them the beginning riff, Ray quickly gets the trick, Bob begins playing, and finally accompanies us. We make an awful din but it's awesome!
- "That's cool what is it?" Bob asks.
- "Something which I composed..."
- "Dude you're talented! Who wants a beer?!"
We then spend all evening playing, and especially guzzling beer after beer...
At about two o'clock in the morning, I don't really see very clear anymore. We laugh like total idiots when Bob stands up, tries to walk straight ahead and pitifully falls down... We're completely loaded but.. it's okay... I try to catch a bottle but, helped on by alcohol, I fail and fall heavily on the said bottle. I put my hand on the broken glass. Seeing the small pieces of glass inlaid in my flesh and the blood running down my wrist, I suddenly have some kind of divine inspiration. I'm so drunk that I don't even realize what I am doing.
I climb on the table situated at the back of the garage, lick the blood which drips from my cut hand and declare to the ecstatic crowd; a Bob who's rolling on the floor for some unknown reason roaring with laughter and a Ray whom is sitting on the ground, smiling like an idiot and waving at me.
"Ladies and La-aa-dies, tonight, for yoo-ou, fabulous Gee-Gee is going to siiing something!”
I look at my hand stained with blood and exclaim: “Oh the haaaaand!!"
I run it across my face, leaving a big trace of blood and I begin singing in a raspy voice while Ray films me with his cellphone.
"Well they encourage your complete cooperation,
Send you roses when they think you need to smile.
I can't control myself because I don't know how,
And they love me for it honestly, I'll be here for a while.
So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff!
Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough.
So give them blood, blood, blood.
Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood!
[/A celebrated man amongst the gurneys.
They can fix me proper with a bit of luck.
The doctors and the nurses they adore me so,
But it's really quite alarming cause I'm such an awful fuck. (Oh thank you!)
I gave you blood, blood, gallons of the stuff,
I gave you all that you can drink and it has never been enough.
I gave you blood, blood, blood,
I'm the kind of human wreckage that you loooooooooove!"
I finish on a triumphant note, and my public applauds us drunkards. I bow down, lose my balance, splendidly fall off the table, land on Bob who is crying with laughter, telling something about ponies and about his toes, then he suddenly falls asleep. Ray, who is the least drunk of us, takes me home. Indeed, I couldn't stand straight, I was laughing like an idiot and I was persuaded that Ray was a unicorn. We return to my district, singing loud, then I tell to Ray to stop in front of my house.
- "Wait dude it's not your house here!" Ray laughs.
- "Of couuuurse it is, I know where I live!"
We laugh again, I get out of the car in a shaky step, and he drives
away. I roam a little in the district, looking for my house, slowly realising that I was completely lost, when I see a dark silhouette walking towards me... I call him:
- “Hey duuuude!!"
Duuuude does not answer. Under the streetlight, I recognize him. He's one of Frank's gorillas. My brain, clouded by the alcohol, does not make the link between the presence of the gorilla at three o'clock in the morning in my district and that if the gorilla is here, then his “owner” should be here as well. Seeing that he doesn't answer, I take my imaginary hat off and start walking away, singing a serenade to the moon. (I REALLY wasn't myself ).
I feel a hand beating down on my shoulder. With a huge grin, I turn around before recieving a violent blow to the face. I collapse on the road. A little bit dazed; I tell him,
- "Heeeey peace and looove maaaan!!"
The only answer which I obtained was a big kick in the ribs. Some arms catch me by the collar of my T-shirt. Tattooed arms. And a hateful voice spits up:
- "Who's the smart ass now, huh Way ? Fucking Bastard!"
He accompanies this sweet nickname with a kick in the chest that takes my breath away.
- "What the fuck are you doing on my territory?"
Seeing as I'm not answering, he shakes me violently:
- "You could answer me when I talk to you!"
- "Oh the staaaaars!" I say with a blissful smile.
Frank looks at me with big eyes. Then a sadistic smile appears on his face.
- "I see, he's completely drunk... You're going to cop it, Gothic motherfucker!"
Other people had joined him. There's at least six or seven... With a devilish grin, he lifts me off the ground, and punches me in the face, which send me right to the ground. The metallic taste of the warm blood invades my mouth. Frank scolds,
- "C'mon, show him how we treat people like him here!"
They throw themselves on me. I get kicked in the arch of the eyebrow, the blood blinds me. My brain shouts me to get up, to run away, but my limbs are numb. I can't defend myself any more. My body is no more than a stiffened, painful mass. In a surge of energy, I sit up, randomly strike of my fist, and hear with satisfaction something cracking and a suppressed cry of pain. I push myself up, stagger, and begin running with the energy of desperation.
- "Catch him, you brainless morons!"
I run, desperately trying to escape, when my foot suddenly stumbles over an obstacle and my ankle twists itself. Of course, that had to happen. Unable to find my balance, I fall headfirst on the concrete. The pain is searing. I barely hear Frank arrive next to me, panting, bending over me and catching me by hair. I am so groggy that I don't have strength to defend myself. He approaches his face close to mine, so close that our foreheads almost touch and looks at me straight in the eyes.
For a short moment, so short as I wonder if I didn't dream, I saw in his glance something which isn't cruel at all. I can read solitude, lack of affection... Some jealousy?
Then he gives me a tremendous head kick which throws me on the ground again. I have a weird feeling of déjà vu... He starts beating the living shit out of me with all his strength. I can't block his attacks. I think I'm going to die. The world is nothing more than violence, suffering, pain and wounds. The blood coagulates in front of my eyes. I scream. Someone kicks me in the face to shut me up, and puts his hand over my mouth. I wildly bite the hand up until it bleeds. I hear the owner of the aforementioned hand shout with pain. An arm presses against my throat. I pant, trying desperately to breathe. Frank swears. The pressure on my neck loosens. A neighbour alerted by the noise, runs out from his house carrying a shotgun. My aggressors rush away.
My rescuer comes closer.
- "Are you okay?" He asks.
'Yeah, of course' I want to answer, 'I'm perfecly good, I was just out just to pick daisies and I laid down on the road to see if it was comfortable...'
A part of my brain is still capable of thinking, the other one gave up and already left to the beyond.
He finally sees that I am half conscious. I must be pretty fucked up, because he lets out a small horrified cry. He hoists me carefully on his shoulder. I feel that he puts me down on what has to be a couch, then a feminine voice exclaims "Oh my god!"
I also feel that someone cleans my blood stained face, and bandages my wounds. I gradually sink into unconsciousness.