Title from 'Jesus in the Southern Sky' by For All We Know. "But, like, I believe in Santa Claus and stuff. And people just laugh and think I'm weird."
"You believe in God, don't you Gee?"
Gerard's head pops up from the pages of his sketchbook and he looks at me with wide eyes. "Uh, yeah Frankie. I do." His eyebrows furrow slightly and he cocks his head to the side in confusion.
"Why?" I move on the bed so that my legs are folded under me and I'm sitting in front of Gerard. My nails fiddle with the frayed denim of the holes in my jeans as Gerard's mouth opens like he's going to answer, but then closes softly.
"Well...For me, personally," he mumbles after a few moments, picking at his eraser, "it's, well He, is something to believe in. Like, if I lost everything today, I like to think that I'd still have Him." The sun is coming in from the window above his head and Gerard looks like he's glowing. The thought causes me to smile a little. He just grins back and goes back to drawing.
After a few minutes of silence other than our gentle breathing, I sigh. "But, like, I believe in Santa Claus and stuff. And people just laugh and think I'm weird." I put my elbows on my thighs and rest my chin in my hands.
Gerard smiles at me and sits his sketchbook down beside him. "You are weird, Frankie. But I love you, so it's okay." His lips press against my nose which I wrinkle in response. "And it's...different than Santa."
"How, though? Neither of them can be seen. They both give you 'gifts'; but Santa gives me tangible things that I actually want. I don't understand Gee."
"Okay, I see your point there. But...y'know how there's supposedly a reason for everything?" His hazel eyes glance up at me quickly and I nod, wanting him to continue. "Well...He's that reason, in my mind." Teeny tiny teeth bite down into his bottom lip as he takes my hands in his and tangles his fingers in mine.
"But...isn't God like...against us," I mumble. I looks down at our hands and think about what would happen if Gee ever left me. "Gerard...why would you believe in... fuck, why would you love someone who hates us?"
"Oh, no, Frankie. Just no, alright? God doesn't hate us. If He did...why would He have made us gay in the first place?" I mutter something sarcastic under my breath and Gerard just sighs. "I think God loves everyone equally, Frankie, because we are all His creations. And if He doesn't...then He's not my God. He's not the person I thought he was." I can tell that he has something else that he wants to say, but when he doesn't elaborate I drop it.
"So...so, He loves people who don't believe in Him, too?" The question comes out sounding extremely childish, causing me to flip my bangs down into my face so that Gee can't see me.
"Yeah, Frankie. He does."
"Okay." I crawl into Gerard's lap. His arms wrap around my waist and I lean back against his chest. "Well, then I guess I have to love him to. 'Cause he gave me you."
Hey. So, this has been on my mind a lot recently. This is basically a conversation that me and my best friend had a few days ago and I decided to turn it into a Frerard, because I ship that harder than the Titanic.