Will Frankie get what he wants for Christams?
I dragged my bags up the stairs and knocked on the door effortlessly. I was tired and cold, I could hardly talk. The door opened and there stood Gerard. “Who is it?” Mikey called out.
“It’s Frank,” Gerard replied. “Frank, why are you here? What happened?” he asked.
“He kicked me out. Paul kicked me out,” I whispered, tears were filling up my eyes. “He said I’m worthless and no one could ever love me. “
Gerard grabbed my hand and pulled me inside for a hug and patted down my cold, soaked hair. “We love you, Mikey and I, we both love you.” Gerard assured. Gerard helped me with my bags and sat me down on the couch, kicking the door shut behind me. I managed to stop crying when I sat down. Mikey walked over with three hot, fresh coffees and I smiled as a way to say thank you. I really wasn’t up for talking. Mikey nodded and sat next to me. I took a sip from my coffee when Mikey spoke up. “What’s wrong Frank?” he asked, rubbing my shoulder, in attempt to comfort me. Just when I thought I had stopped, tears flowed down my cheeks, but I didn’t answer, I continued to take little sips from my coffee.
“Paul kicked him out, told him he was worthless and that no one could ever love him. It’s less than a week until Christmas Mikey, a fucken week,” Gerard answered, wrapping a warm arm around my waist.
“We love you, Frank,” Mikey smiled.
“T-t-that’s w-what Gee s-said,” I blubbered.
“Well we do,” Gerard agreed. “You know you can stay here as long as you like.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”
“We wouldn’t have it any other way,” he replied, pulling me into him, so I was now leaning my head against his warm chest.
The spare room was neat and tidy, just like last time I was here, when Paul and I had a fight. Except, this time a picture of Mikey, Gerard and I sat in a frame on the bedside table. I had been lying in bed for a while now, I was grateful that they let me stay. Of course I knew they would, but I was now lonely in this big bed, and I wanted company.
The door creaked open and I turned my head in response. It was Gerard, with two cups of coffee and a bag of Skittles. I let my head fall against my pillow and rolled over to face the picture, so my back was now turned to Gerard, fighting the temptation of Skittles and coffee. He knew exactly how to make me feel better. Gerard placed his hand on my waist and I shivered at the touch of his cold skin against mine. “Frankie, please talk to me.” He begged. I blinked in shock. He called me Frankie. He never calls me that and why is his hand on my waist? Could he like me? Nah, no one could ever love me, remember? I shook my head, trying to forget the thought. “Frank talk to me, please. I’m worried about you. You’ve been in here for hours.” Gerard stated. I finally gave in and sat up, wrapping my arms around my legs and leaning my head on my knees. I pulled my head up and took my coffee from the bedside table. “What did I do to deserve this Gerard?” I could feel the tears building up in my eyes and for the third time today I was crying. I put my coffee back and looked at Gerard, staring deep into his green eyes. “What did I do?” I whimpered. “Shhh, I don’t know. Don’t worry. I’m here now and everything will be okay,” Gerard whispered, kissing my shiny black hair. Once again, thoughts were beginning to group in the back of my mind. He just kissed me. Maybe he does like me. He’s just been waiting for the right time to have his chance. No, he can’t. This is all too impossible. Well sure, Mikey and Gerard said they both love me, but not like that. Like Paul said, no one could ever love me. I smiled at the thought of being kissed by Gerard, but I was still upset. I wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my favourite hoody and smiled at Gerard. I grabbed the bag of Skittles and opened them, grabbing out a handful, and passed the bag to Gerard, eating them slowly. “Thank you, really.” A smile crept across my face, but it wasn’t easy and we both knew that. “Its fine, I care about you,” Gerard confessed, before quickly looking away.
“Im tired, I might go to sleep now, if that’s okay.” I yawned.
“Yeah, of course that’s okay. If you need me I’m in the room next door and Mikey is down the hall. Help yourself to anything, anything at all. Goodnight Frankie.” Gerard kissed my forehead and closed the door behind him.
I looked out the window, if that was even possible. Everything was white and the street below was blanketed with snow. I dragged myself out of bed and to my surprise it was quite warm. I expected that Mikey would have turned on the heater. I pushed my door open and headed to the kitchen. “Good morning,” Mikey said smiling. I looked at him and shook my head.
“Morning, well yes it is; a good one…no.” I corrected him.
“Oh…um…well…uh morning then.” He mumbled.
“Are you feeling any better?” Gerard asked.
“A little,” I answered. “I will be outta here by this afternoon.”
“Where are you going?” Mikey interrupted.
“I don’t know, somewhere, anywhere I guess.”
“For fuck sake, you’re staying here Frank!” Gerard protested.
“You have nowhere to go, we’re you’re friends Frank and we care about you. Stop thinking that you’re imposing because you’re not. That’s just bullshit. We’re supposed to be here to pick you up when you fall. That’s what friends do. I want you to stay here. Mikey wants you to stay here. Look at yourself Frank, you’re a mess and I want to look after you. I want to help you. We both want to help you. You don’t need to go anywhere. You can stay here as long as you want. Even if it’s for a few months, you can still stay,” Gerard explained.
“Really?” I asked unsure.
“Yes, of course,”
“I’ll stay, if you’re really ok with it, but anytime you want me to leave, just say the word.”
“Thankyou Frank,” smiled Gerard.
“I know, let’s go shopping.” Mikey suggested. I nodded at the idea, forgot about the coffee and headed for the shower.
I stepped in and turned on the tap. The water was hot against my cold, pale skin, and I let the water soak my hair and run off my fringe. I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squeezed a blob into my hand, and lathered it into my hair. I stuck my head under the shower head one last time to wash out the shampoo. I turned off the shower and stepped out, slipping over and landing flat on my back. “Fuck!” I screamed.
“Frankie, are you okay?” Gerard yelled rushing through the door to help me. I opened my eyes to find him standing there, staring at me as I laid there naked, cold and hurt on the bathroom floor. There was a moment of silence and I noticed he continued to stare, but I looked away and blushed in embarrassment. I stretched for my towel that was just out of reach, but my back ached and my head was throbbing in pain. Gerard grabbed my towel and threw it over the lower half of my body. “Frankie, are you okay? What happened?” he asked. “What do you think? Do I look okay?” I snapped. Gerard was shocked at my reaction and I looked up at him apologetically “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I slipped stepping out of the shower.”
“Here, I’ll help,” Gerard offered crouching down next to me. He slipped his arm behind my neck and helped me sit up. Then, placed his arm around my waist and picked me up off the ground as I secured my towel. “Thanks Gerard,” I smiled.
“That’s okay and you just get dressed, I’ll be in the lounge.”
I walked into the lounge wearing my skinny jeans, my black Converse and a Misfits jumper. Gerard and Mikey were on the couch talking about Christmas. Gerard turned and smiled at me. “You’re looking hot Frankie.” I turned away and blushed at Gerard’s compliment but I noticed Mikey smiling at Gerard. “Umm…thanks Gerard,” I finally mumbled.
“Anyway, are you ready to go?” Gerard asked. I nodded, still feeling a little unsure of what to say. “Awesome,” he replied. Mikey jumped up off the couch and headed for the door. I didn’t know he was coming too, I kind of hoped it would just be me and Gerard. I followed Gerard out the door and I must admit he did look pretty gorgeous himself. He was wearing his skinnies, a black sleeveless shirt and some old boots. He definitely needed new ones.
The city was busy and crowded with people buying presents. Our first stop…Starbucks. We walked in the doors and they were busy too so we all got our coffees to go. “Frank, we’ve decided, you’re staying for Christmas, if you don’t have plans already,” Mikey said.
“I’d love to really, but Christmas is a time you’re supposed to be with your family.”
“You are a part of our family Frank, please stay,” Gerard smiled, sounding hopeful. I nodded in agreement. Of course I wanted to stay for Christmas. We walked around drinking our coffees slowly, and walked into Wal-Mart. I wanted to buy Gerard something but I couldn’t think of what. We decided to split up, buy our presents and all meet up later. I began going down every isle, slowly scanning for something that they might like. I found an espresso machine for Gerard and a David Bowie CD for Mikey. I stood in the gift wrapping line keeping an eye out for Gerard and Mikey. They wrapped Gerard’s gift in purple paper and Mikey’s in silver. I grabbed my presents and walked outside.
They were already waiting, with their presents in hand. Gerard was holding big box in one hand. “I’m sorry, I made you wait,” I apologised quickly. “It’s fine. We didn’t mind,” Mikey replied. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m just cold,” I breathed.
“You’re very cute when you’re cold,” Gerard added, his face going deep red as we began to walk.
“Stop it!” Mikey hissed under his breath.
I was really beginning to think he liked me. “Its fine, Mikey,” I admitted truthfully.
“Really?” they asked in perfect sync. I nodded and smiled. “Yeah, it’s fine.”
“Oh ok, t-t-that’s good t-then,” Gerard mumbled. Now he was nervous and I could tell something was wrong.
As we pushed through the door it began to snow outside. I walked straight to my room, shut the door and placed the presents in the closet. I pulled off my shoes and socks and snuggled into bed. I know it was only around midday, but I was tired. I barely got any sleep. But now I could hear arguing coming from the lounge.
“You have to stop doing this Gerard. Stop flirting with him!” Mikey demanded.
“I’m not flirting! He’s upset I’m trying to make him feel better.” Gerard answered
“It’s obvious you like him, Gerard.”
“I don’t li–“
“Come on say you don’t like him.” Mikey ordered. “Tell me you don’t like Frank! Well?”
As soon as my name was mentioned I snuck up to my door and pressed my ear against it.
“I can’t.” Gerard sobbed.
“Because you like him, don’t you?”
“Yes! Okay! I like him!” Gerard screamed, unaware I could hear every word loud and clear.
“He has just been dumped and now you’re all over him, you can’t expect him to just fall at your feet and be head over heels in love with you like you are with him. Even if he knew you liked him, he wouldn’t go out with you anyway, Gerard!” Mikey yelled. Gerard ran down the hall crying and slammed his door. Gerard liked me and now I knew he really did.
Hours had passed and things were silent. I slipped out of bed and into the hall. I st
ared at Gerard’s door for a moment before slowly turning the handle. There was Gerard lying in bed, bundled up in a ball. He was beautiful, well he was to me anyway. “Are you okay?” I asked lying down next to him. Gerard sniffled and rolled over to face me. His eyes were still red and tears were still falling. “I’m fine,” he wept. “You can’t pull that one on me. It was a stupid question anyway,” I laughed. Gerard looked up at me and a smile crept upon his face. “I heard you two yelling, what happened?” I asked, knowing full well what they said.
“Nothing, I’ll be fine,” he whispered.
“I’m sure things will be okay with whatever you two were talking about,” I said, pushing back his fringe and planted a light, soft kiss on his forehead. Gerard blushed and failed to hide a smile. I stood up and opened the door. “Frankie, will y-you please stay here w-with me?” Gerard uttered. I stared into those beautiful brown eyes and tried to resist the temptation. “You don’t have to,” he added, feeling very unsure what I was going to stay. “I’ll stay as long as you want me too.” I closed the door and lay back down next to Gerard and stared at the ceiling for a brief moment before closing my eyes. I could feel his eyes were fixed on me. “We’re friends, aren’t we Frank?” Gerard asked. I was shocked he could ask me such a question. “Of course we are. Why wouldn’t we be?” I replied. Gerard moved closer and his face was now above me and I could feel his cold breath against my skin. He pressed his lips softly against mine, as soon as I felt the light touch of his lips he pulled away and rolled over so his back was now facing me. I wanted the kiss though, so I was a little disappointed it didn’t last longer. He needed the comfort, so I wrapped my arm around his waist and he jumped a little by the surprise of my actions. “W-what are you d-doing?” he asked, his voice sounding shaky. “We’re just friends, of course, but you’re upset Gerard. I don’t like seeing my cutie upset.”
“Oh, okay,” he whispered closing his eyes and holding my hand. I could tell he was smiling. He obviously noticed I called him a cutie, but I wonder if he noticed I called him ‘MY’ cutie. I thought to myself. I was hugging and lying next to the guy I had a crush on and my heart was doing flips. I squeezed a little tighter, buried my face in his soft red hair, closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.
Surprisingly, the sun was up and shining brightly through the window, but the air was still cold and Gerard and I were still as perfect as we were last night. I couldn’t see his face but I guessed he was still sleeping. I pulled away my arm slowly when he gripped it tighter. “Where do you think you’re going?” Gerard laughed. “I’m only joking, here’s your arm back.”
“I’m just going to get coffee for us, now that I know you’re awake. Just stay, I’ll be back,” I replied, getting out of bed. Gerard smiled at me as I walked out of the room and down to the kitchen. Thoughts began to fill my mind as I stood in the kitchen pouring two coffees. Last night was perfect. Sure, I only slept with my arm around him, but, he was holding my hand and I know for a fact that he likes me. He kissed me. I didn’t want to pull away because I knew it would hurt his feelings. I picked up the coffees and turned around to see Mikey there. “Why are you so happy Frank? What’s with the smile?” he asked. I didn’t even know that I was smiling. I made a straight face and lied. “Was I smiling? I didn’t notice. I don’t have anything to smile about. That’s weird. Anyway I’m fine.” Mikey nodded and he watched me as I walked to into Gerard’s room. He was already sitting up and staring at the door waiting for my return. A big smile was plastered across his face. “Thankyou Frankie,” Gerard said in a sing-song voice.
“You’re welcome,” I smiled, handing him his coffee and sitting down next to him.
“You didn’t have to stay last night. I could kind of see that in your eyes that you didn’t want to when I asked you,” Gerard pointed out. I was surprised by Gerard’s observation and I felt a little guilty now. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to stay with you. In fact, I wanted to stay, I was just unsure if you really wanted me to. I would’ve thought you wanted space after that argument with Mikey,” I answered truthfully. I was nervous now and I knew all too well that the wrong words could open up my little secret. I was in love with Gerard. I have been for a long time. Gerard was just always there when I needed him. I could tell him things I couldn’t tell anyone else, not even Paul. Gerard was there for me at the end of every fight, when I needed someone he was there. I loved Paul too, but now that he’s gone, all my feelings for Gerard have taken over. I think Gerard sensed I liked him when I kissed him back.
The city was busy, there were only a few days left until Christmas and we didn’t have a Christmas tree. “You don’t need to get a Christmas tree just because I’m here,” I said.
Yes I do.” Gerard blushed, shoving me playfully.
“No, you don’t.”
“I’m not going to win this, am I?”
“Nope,” Gerard smiled as we walked into a stall. There were so many trees, of different sizes and colours. It was different being out today; it was just me and Gerard.
“I want a green tree,” Gerard said.
“What about the black tree?” I asked, pointing to a medium sized black tree.
“Okay, “Gerard agreed picking up a box.
We walked down the aisle towards the decorations. We decided on blue decorations, grabbed some snacks and headed home.
Mikey helped us set the tree up but they still weren’t talking. I wanted to ask what was wrong, even though I already knew. I just wanted to know if they would tell me the truth. So, I decided to take my chances. “Are you two okay?” I asked. Mikey looked at me blankly.
“We’re fine,” he stated. Gerard looked at him and walked swiftly to his room. “Gerard!” I called out after him. He walked into his room and I grabbed his shoulders from behind and spun him around. “Gerard, I didn’t mean to bring it up. I’m sorry,” I apologised.
“Gerard, I know when you’re lying, but I’m not going to force it out of you. You can tell me when you’re ready or not at all. I don’t mind. If you need me though, you know where to find me.” I headed out the door and thought it was about time I should go talk to Mikey, who was in the lounge watching Dawn of the Dead.
“Cool, I love this movie. Do you mind if I watch it too, Mikey.”
“Nah, of course not,” he smiled.
There was only five minutes left to go, and I had managed to keep all my questions bundled up inside. “Hey Mikey,” I finally said.
“What’s wrong with you and Gerard? What happened?”
“We’re fine, I’m sorry Frank, but, it’s not my place to tell you. Can you tell him I’m sorry?” Mikey asked.
“Even better, come and tell him yourself,” I suggested.
“He’ll kick me out.”
“Trust me, it will be fine,” I promised. Mikey nodded and followed me to Gerard’s room. Gerard was quietly sitting on his bed. He took one look at Mikey and we both knew he wasn’t happy. “Shit! Get out; get the fuck out of my room! How could you? I told you not to tell Frank! ” He yelled.
“Gerard, just listen. Mikey didn’t tell me anything,” I added.
“I’m here to say sorry. I really mean it. I think that what you said is great and I’m here to tell you I accept your choice,” Mikey explained.
“S-s-so you d-didn’t tell him anything, Mikey?”
“Tell me what?” I asked.
I’ll l-leave you too a-a-alone,” Mikey uttered as he left.
“Tell me what!?” I shouted.
“Nothing,” Gerard snapped back. I stormed out and in to my room, slamming my door loudly behind me.
The park was cold and quiet and relaxing. I should have just stayed here and been homeless. I knew what they were talking about, I know it was me. I want to hear it from Gerard. I really want him to tell me he loves me as much as I love him. I thought to myself. I sat and shivered in the cold for an hour and then decided to go home.
I pushed the door open. Mikey was on the couch watching TV and Gerard was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Gerard?” I asked.
“He’s in his room. He was looking for you earlier but I told him you went out,” Mikey replied blankly.
“Oh, thanks Mikey.”
I walked down to my room, and decided it was best to just leave him. If he really needed to talk to me, he will come and see me himself. I took a seat on my bed and half expected Gerard to walk in. I laid my head on my cold pillow and stared at the ceiling and waited for him to come in and see me…but, he didn’t. Mikey was still watching TV, so I snuck out and stood in front of Gerard’s room. His door was open just a crack, enough for me to see what he was doing, hopefully without him noticing. It was okay though. Once again, there was Gerard, lying on his bed, bundled up in a ball. The same way he was every time he was upset. I fought the urge to comfort him and went back to my room. I knew he wasn’t going to speak to me, so I decided to go to sleep.
The sun was shining as I opened my eyes, but the air remained cold. I jumped out of bed and headed for the kitchen to make a nice, hot coffee. Halfway down the hall, I turned around and decided to check on Gerard. I crept up to his door, just in case he was asleep…he wasn’t. “Gerard, honey, are you okay? What’s wrong? Have you been awake all night?” I asked, opening the door slowly as I walked in. He just nodded. So I tried again.
“What’s wrong, you can tell me.” He just shook his head and now I really wanted to know. I wanted to help. I left his room, leaving the door wide open.
Surprisingly, Mikey wasn’t watching TV, he was in the shower. I heard the water stop so I poured a coffee for Mikey too and left a little note. I grabbed our coffees and headed back to Gerard’s room. “Gerard, I brought you coffee.” I sat it on the bedside table. Gerard just looked at it, but he didn’t dare touch it. I sat on the little gap on his side of the bed. “Please, talk to me,” I said, placing my hand on his shoulder. Gerard didn’t answer, nor did he move. “Fine, you don’t have to tell me, im just worried about you. I’m always here if you need me,” I assured, planting a kiss on his forehead before grabbing my coffee and leaving. I stood outside the door and waited a moment. Sure enough, Gerard sat up and drank his coffee. I smiled and wandered aimlessly back to the kitchen, taking a seat on a stool at the bench. I began to wonder how long it would take before Gerard would talk to me again. I poured another coffee and watched some TV.
“Hey, Frank,” Mikey said, cheerfully.
“Hey,” I replied.
“What do you want to do today?” asked Mikey. “Do you want to hang out?”
“It’s only a few days until Christmas, but let’s go bowling.”
“Okay, I’ll just grab my wallet,” I smiled.
“No, my shout,” offered Mikey,
“Aww, thanks Mikey, I’ll just get dressed. Give me five.”
I walked out of my room. Once again I was in my Misfits jumper and my skinnies. I was too lazy to look nice. I knew Mikey was paying, but I decided to grab my wallet anyway. Mikey smiled, and we walked to the city. “Are you and Gerard, okay?” Mikey asked.
“No, I wish we were though. He won’t talk to me,” I sighed loudly.
“Oh, sorry,” Mikey apologised sincerely. “You could have invited him, you know?”
“We need space, but thanks, Mikey.”
“I don’t mean to pry, but Frank, do you like Gerard?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, acting dumb.
“You know very well what I mean.”
“Well, I think he’s gorgeous and stuff but I don’t have a crush on him.” I lied. “Just please don’t tell him, Mikey,” I begged.
“It’s fine, I won’t tell him, I promise.”
It didn’t take long to walk to the arcade in the city and it wasn’t very busy. Mikey payed and
we sat down to put on our shoes. I found a blue ball and Mikey used a purple one. Mikey won the first two games and bought me lunch so I thought it was only fair for me to pay for the other games.
“Mikey, I never knew you were so good at bowling,” I complimented, as we walked down the street. “Oh, thanks. I’m not that good,” he blushed.
“Yes you are. Now, you payed for bowling and you brought me lunch so let me take you shopping,” I insisted.
“No, I couldn’t le–“
“Yes,” I interrupted, taking his hand and dragging him into the closest store. Mikey looked around, eyes wide and his jaw open. “No,” he said shaking his head. “It’s too expensive here I couldn’t possibly let you buy me something.”
“Shut up Mikey, I laughed. We split up and decided to look around. Mikey headed over to the shirts and I walked towards the shoes, spotting a nice pair of black boots I knew Gerard would love. I found his size and picked up the box. I found a black pair of converse and grabbed those too. I noticed Mikey was still looking at shirts so I headed over to look at hoodies. I found the perfect hoodie for Mikey. It had Dawn of the Dead printed on it and I just knew he would love it. I walked to the counter in a rush hoping Mikey wouldn’t see what I bought and the lady offered to wrap my things and put my Converse in a bag. Then I waited patiently at the counter so I could pay for Mikey’s things. He brought a Halloween shirt and a guitar strap with Frankenstein on it which I assumed was for his Bass. “Thanks,” Mikey smiled and we headed home.
We walked inside and took off our shoes. To great surprise, Gerard had finally left his room. He was on the couch, in a ball, watching Psycho. Do these boys watch anything other than their horror movies? I smiled to see that he had finally come out of his cave. I tried to say hi, but he didn’t give me a response and it was getting late. I didn’t realise how long we had been out. Mikey thanked me again and joined Gerard on the couch. I said my goodnights and headed to my room for some sleep. I hadn’t exactly been sleeping right the last couple of days and I needed to catch up. I think it may have been caused by all my worrying about Gerard. I placed the presents with the rest and slid into bed.
I woke up to the rain tapping softly against my window. For once, it wasn’t sunny, and it wasn’t snowing. Now it was only one more day until Christmas and I was still eager to hear what Gerard had to say, even if I thought I already knew what he was going to say. I pulled up the covers and smiled at the rain. I loved the rain and I was so comfortable I could have stayed in bed all day. I flipped the covers and tip toed to the kitchen. It was only early and no one else seemed to be awake. I made it to the kitchen without making a sound and poured myself a coffee as quietly as possible and snuck back to my room. Luckily the covers were still warm when I returned and I slipped back into bed. I took a sip from my coffee and sat it on the bedside table. I stared out the window at the rain, when there was a small tap at my door. The door creaked open and there was Gerard. He stood in the doorway for a moment, holding one arm and staring at his feet. He was so adorable when he was nervous. “Can I talk to you, Frank?” Gerard asked.
“Yeah, of course.”
“It’s about the other day,” he stated.
“You’re here to tell me what you two were talking about?” I asked, sounding hopeful.
“Not exactly, no.” He moved closer and sat on the bed. “I’m here to apologise about the other day and for ignoring you yesterday. You were only trying to help. I’m so sorry Frankie.”
“It’s okay Gerard.”
“No, it’s not!” Tears began to fill his eyes and I wondered how long he could hold it.
“It’s fine, don’t worry,” I assured. His lips got closer before he pushed them softly against mine. His tongue slid across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth too, letting our tongues embrace. Tears rolled down his cheeks and hit our lips, making the kiss taste of salt, but I didn’t dare to pull away. Gerard pulled away shortly after, but it was longer than the first time so I couldn’t exactly complain. He stared at me in shock as I tried to hide my happiness. My heart was doing flips and I just couldn’t help but blush. Tears were still falling and his face was red with embarrassment as well as the crying. He jumped up and ran to his room in a hurry. I continued to sit there, processing the moment. “Gerard, come back!” I yelled, eventually running out after him. I stopped at his door and he sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s okay, what just happened, doesn’t change anything Gerard, we’re friends. So, don’t stress too much over a kiss,” I smiled.
“We’re still cool?” he asked.
“Yeah, we’re cool. It was only a kiss Gerard. It doesn’t mean anything,” I lied.
I left his room and went back to mine. I decided since it was only one day left until Christmas that I should put the presents under the tree. There was only four, but we all knew it wasn’t going to be a big Christmas. Mikey was up and about decorating, so I decided to help. There wasn’t much to do. Just a little bit of holly, mistletoe and some Christmas lights. I knew they were just doing it for me and I really wished they hadn’t of gone into all this trouble. I did appreciate it though. “Hey, you know you didn’t have to go into all this trouble because of me?” I told Mikey.
“Sure we did and besides, Gerard and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“You two are the best friends anyone could have and thank you so much for letting me spend Christmas with you two.”
“Anytime,” Mikey replied.
As soon as the decorations were done I walked to the bathroom for a shower. The water was warm against my skin. I sat down and wrapped my arms around my legs, letting the water hit my back and drench my hair. He kissed me. Not on my forehead either. We really kissed, our tongues delicately searching and it lasted longer than the first kiss. It was perfect and now I don’t want to leave. Now I was positive he liked me. I knew he liked me.
I turned off the water and stepped out without slipping over. I got dressed and went to make some breakfast. I felt like toast, but then again I wasn’t really hungry so I skipped breakfast. Once again Gerard was out of his room and watching TV. I poured two coffees and sat next to him handing him his coffee. “Thanks, “Gerard smiled.
“That’s okay.” I sat next to him on the couch and we decide to play the Wii and Mikey sat and watched. We hadn’t played in ages. “Hey Gerard, I know you said I can stay for a few months, but are you sure you don’t want me to leave and start looking for a place of my own now?” I asked. Gerard looked at me as if he was trying to understand what I meant.
“Well, I want you to live here, with us. Only if you want to, you don’t have to. Mikey what do you think? Can he stay?” Gerard asked Mikey.
“What kind of question is that? He’s our best friend Gerard. I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. It is clearly obvious that Gerard wants you here and so do I,” Mikey explained, smiling.
“N-no, I wouldn’t want to impose,” I mumbled.
“Yes, please stay Frankie,” Gerard begged.
“Thank you, really, I appreciate it,” I whispered, shuffling my feet. I stretched out my hand to Mikey and he grabbed it pulling him up. I wrapped an arm around each of them, pulling them in close for a big hug. “I love you guys.”
“We love you too,” they said in sync with each other.
The afternoon remained quiet. Gerard was in his room, Mikey watched TV as he always did and I was stuck in my room, doing nothing. I stood up from my bed, and walked to Gerard’s room to see what he was up to. I knocked softly and opened the door. Gerard was drawing, but he flipped it over so I couldn’t see. “What are you drawing?” I asked.
“You can show me, Gerard.”
“No I can’t.”
“Gerard, what’s that?” I said pointing at the wall. Of course there was nothing there, but Gerard looked anyway and I snatched the drawing off his bed. “Frank, don’t!” Gerard frowned. It was a sketch of me; my black hair, the little scorpion on my neck, it was perfect and I loved it. “Gerard it’s…its perfect,” I blushed. Gerard grabbed it from my hand and pushed me out of his room, slamming the door in my face. The door brushed the edge of my nose and I stared at the door in shock. Why was he so embarrassed? I thought it was really good. I wish I could just tell him I like him.
I threw the thoughts from my mind and headed to the kitchen to make dinner for Mikey and I. “Mikes, you hungry?”
“I’ll make dinner if you want. Does pasta sound okay?”
“Yes, thanks man,” Mikey smiled.
I stood in the kitchen and cooked pasta watching Mikey flick through the channels. “Is there anything on?” I asked. Mikey shook his head. “When this is done we should watch a movie then,” I suggested.
“Couldn’t agree more,” Mikey replied. The pasta didn’t take long and I soon joined Mikey on the couch. We agreed on JAWS and Mikey put in in the DVD player. I took a bowl of pasta to Gerard’s room. The first few minutes of the movie were boring anyway. He didn’t talk, so I sat it on his table. He tried to smile but I knew he just couldn’t. He was upset at his little secret that was slowly beginning to unwrap. I knew he wasn’t going to listen to a word that came out of my mouth, but it was worth a try. “Gerard, about that sketch of me, it’s okay, it’s just like that kiss, its nothing. Why wouldn’t you want to draw a picture of your best friend? Its fine,” I smiled. I knew it was more than that, but I just wanted to comfort him. Tomorrow was Christmas and I wanted us to be okay. Gerard nodded at my attempt. I gave up and left to join Mikey and watch the movie. Mikey looked at me as I sat on the couch. The smart guy was looking at the remains of the first victim, so I hadn’t missed too much. “How’s Gerard?” Mikey asked. I could hear the concern in Mikey’s voice but I wasn’t going to lie. “I found him drawing a picture of me, and now he won’t talk to me. It’s like he’s embarrassed or something. I told him it’s okay, but he still won’t talk to me. When we kissed, we sorted things out and we were fine and now I find a drawing of me and it’s like the end of the world,” I explained, sounding very exhausted by the end of it all.
“You guys aren’t talking again, really? Wait, you two kissed? Holy shit, when? You two aren’t...? Are you?” asked a shocked Mikey.
“No, we’re not serious, it wasn’t meant to happen. We’re just friends, besides I don’t like him, remember?” I said, shuffling my feet.
“Oh, okay. I just thought you did. My mistake, sorry about that,” Mikey whispered.
“Poor Gerard,” Mikey whispered.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he answered. “Everything’s fine.”
“Ok.” We fell silent and continued to watch the movie.
Halfway through the movie I started to get bored. It was Mikey’s favourite so I knew he wasn’t bored. I picked up our bowls and took them to the sink. I washed up, while Mikey’s eyes remained glued to the screen. How can anybody watch this so much? After all the dishes were clean, I decided to call it a night. It was late and I was tired. “Night Mikey, I’m tired. I’m going to hit it, I’ll see you tomorrow.
I walked down the hall towards the bathroom. I felt like a shower.
“Frankie,” Mikey called. I turned around and walked back to Mikey.
“Will you guys be okay tomorrow?”
“I hope so Mikes.”
“Goodnight,” Mikey smiled.
I grabbed a towel from the cupboard and threw my clothes into the washing basket. The water was somewhat refreshing. I stuck my head under the shower head and let the water soak my hair. I turned off the shower and shook my hair. Water droplets splattered over the shower walls. I wasn’t really in a shower mood; honestly I just liked the hot water. I stepped out and wrapped my towel around me. Once I was in my room, I pulled on a pair of pair of boxers and decided not to wear a shirt, despite the weather lately, leaving my chest bare, showing my white skin and my tattoos. My favourite tattoo besides my scorpion was a tattoo of two birds with the words ‘Search and Destroy’. One bird had a ring around its eye, like the black band Gerard wore over his eyes during ‘Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge’ and the other bird had a cross over its eye, to represent me. Gerard would never know I loved him and there was nothing more to it. I flicked off the light and slid into bed, pulling the covers tightly over me and closed my eyes. Tomorrow was Christmas; things couldn’t possibly go bad…could they?
Snow fell as I opened my eyes and peered out of my window. It was warm, which meant once again, Mikey had turned on the heater. I grabbed a hoodie and pulled it over my head. I found a discarded pair of jeans and pulled those on and headed to the lounge. Mikey and Gerard were waiting eagerly on the couch. “Sorry guys, you didn’t have to wait,” I apologised.
“Yes we did,” Gerard smiled. It was good to see him smiling and talking again. I sat next to him on the couch and gave him a hug. I handed him the biggest present first. “Cool, purple paper,” he complimented. He peeled off the first piece of tape and opened it slowly. He always took his time. “Wow, a decent coffee machine, thanks Frankie,” Gerard said giving me another tight hug. I handed Mikey the bigger present first. “Well, it’s soft, but I have no idea what it is,” Mikey stated. He threw it up in the air and caught it a few times, eventually ripping it open. “A Dawn of the Dead hoodie, this is fucken awesome.”
“Glad you like it Mikey.”
Mikey handed Gerard a small little silver box and once again he took his time to unwarp it. “Red hair dye, Mikey really?” Gerard laughed.
“Have you seen your regrowth lately?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have. Thanks Mikey. I must say you do know what to buy me.”
I grabbed Mikey’s second present to him. He was more careful this time because it wasn’t soft and squishy like his hoodie. “Diamond Dogs, now all I need is the Labyrinth album. How did you know?” Mikey asked me.
“I just did.”
Gerard handed Mikey his present. Mikey received a little present, much like his last one from me. “Labyrinth, you got me the album. Now I have the whole David Bowie collection, thanks you too,” smiled Mikey, squeezing us both tight. There were three presents left. Mikey handed me a medium size, awkwardly shaped present wrapped in red paper. This was my first present and I ripped off the paper in excitement. It was the guitar strap with Frankenstein printed on it. “This is cool, thanks Mikes.”
I handed a box to Gerard; he didn’t care about the paper anymore and pulled it off in a hurry to reveal what was inside. It was a box. Gerard got frustrated but laughed. He opened the lid and found a black pair of boots with spongy squares on the front. He tried them on and they were a perfect fit. “You’re the best,” Gerard blushed, planting a quick kiss on my cheek. Mikey’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t really care too much. I smiled at Gerard to show him things were okay. The large case was the only thing left. “And finally,” Gerard said, picking up the case and handing it to me carefully. “This is for you, I hope you like it.” I opened the case with care and inside was a beautiful black Les Paul, all shiny and brand new. “Gerard this, this is too much.”
“No, no it’s not. It’s yours and now you can put it with Pansy. You will have a black one and a white one. Merry Christmas, Frankie.”
“Yeah, Merry Christmas Frank,” added Mikey.
“Thanks guys, Merry Christmas to you too.”
Mikey looked up and smirked. “What, what is it?” asked Gerard.
“You two are under mistletoe,” Mikey laughed. We both looked up and sighed loudly. I looked at Gerard and wondered if he would. “I’m okay with it, if you’re okay,” I said. Gerard gave a small nod but his voice was quiet and shaky. “I-I-I’m o-okay.” He lent forward slowly and pressed his lips against mine. No tongues, just a soft, warm kiss. I didn’t want to pull away, my heart was pounding hard against my chest, like it was ready to burst out and escape. This felt better than the other times we kissed. I don’t know why though. I pulled away from the kiss, our foreheads still touching. Gerard smiled, biting his lip, his cheeks were beginning to match his hair, and I kissed him again. I licked his lips, asking to be let in. Gerard did as I wished, our tongues exploring. We both forgot Mikey was even there. Gerard wrapped his arms around my waist and I place mine around his neck. It was perfect. “Um, guys?” Mikey hesitated.
We pulled away, still holding each other. “Do you mind?” Mikey asked smiling.
“Oh, sorry,” we both blushed, looking at one another.
“I knew you liked him when you told me you didn’t,” Mikey explained.
“How did you know?” I asked, with a puzzled look on my face.
“You shuffle your feet when you lie.”
“Oh, okay,” I smiled; feeling a little embarrassed and released my grip from Gerard.
“It’s fine, you two are cute. Sorry I ever doubted you Gerard.”
“It’s okay,” Gerard beamed. “So does this mean we’re…ya know…going out?”
“Only if you want to,” I replied. Gerard looked at Mikey waiting for an answer.
“Don’t look at me,” added Mikey. “But, Gerard, go for it.”
Gerard looked at me, his fringe fell perfectly over one eye. “Okay,” he nodded. I threw my arms around Gerard, practically jumping on him, making him stumble backwards. He wrapped his arms back around my waist. “I love you,” I whispered, almost inaudible so Mikey didn’t hear. “I love you to,” he replied. His breath was cold against my skin, but it made me want to scream with joy. This was prefect. He meant so much to me. Mikey just stood and stared with a little smirk on his face. He set this up and we all knew it. “Thanks Mikey, for the setup, who knows how long we would have kept our little secret,” I explained.
“Not too long, I was becoming unwrapped,” Gerard said shyly.
That afternoon was quiet. We sat on the couch and watched TV into the night. My head sat on his chest and I could feel his heartbeat. It was this weird sensation. I loved hearing his heartbeat. His heart was beating for me, Gerard loved me and I couldn’t be happier.
“Well, this has been fun and thank you for your presents but I’m going to go to sleep. Night guys, I love you Gerard, and I love you too Mikey,” I smiled kissing Gerard on the cheek and giving Mikey a hug.
“Night, Frankie, I love you too,” Gerard said.
“Goodnight Frank,” added Mikey.
I walked down the hall to my room, and closed the door. I picked up my new Les Paul from the corner and sat on my bed. I attached my new Frankenstein guitar strap and began to play. It felt like only a short moment until Gerard walked in. I didn’t realise but I had been playing for at least an hour. “Hey,” he whispered “Hey,” I replied.
“So, you like your new guitar?”
“I love it Gerard, you didn’t have to spend so much money on me.”
“Yes I did.”
“No, you didn’t,” I argued back, smiling.
“Of course, I did, I love you.”
“I love you too, Gerard,” I said, standing up placing the guitar on the stand in the corner. I sat back on the bed and Gerard joined me, placing his arm under my shirt, wrapping an arm around my waist. I stared into his green eyes and pushed back his red fringe. His fingers traced the scorpion tattoo that adorned my neck, giving me goose bumps from the light touch. His lips were soft, his body was relaxed…the prefect embrace. Gerard’s hands trailed down to the hem of my shirt and he lifted up above my head and threw it on the floor, before removing his own. Gerard unzipped my jeans and I slipped them of as he continued to undress himself.
Gerard slipped his stiff member inside me, being as gentle as he could. He knew that it hurt but I didn’t care. “Frankie, are you okay?” asked a concerned Gerard. I nodded and held in the pain. He pushed in further until he hit the bundle of nerves. “Oh Gerard!” I exclaimed. He pulled out a little and pushed it in again. He continued the motion, repeatedly hitting the same spot that made me yell his name. He was getting excited, I could feel it. Any moment now Gerard will reach his climax and it will all be over. “Frankie!” Gerard yelled as he let off his load inside me. Gerard arched his back before he collapsed breathlessly, his head drenched with sweat as he laid it on chest, my heart beating loudly against his ear. “I love you,” he sighed.
“I love you too Gee,” I replied breathlessly.
“You know you mean more to me than anything. You and Mikey will always come first. You’re my favourite person in the world and I love you. I will never do anything to hurt you. “
“Gerard, you don’t need to tell me how much I mean to you.”
“Yes, I do,” he argued.
“Gerard, I love you too, and you mean a lot to me as well. You have always been there for me and this may seem too early, but I want to marry you Gee.”
“Of course I do,” I confessed. Gerard raised himself on an elbow and kissed me before lying back on my chest.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I am, so Gee do you want too?”
“Of course I do. Paul treated you like shit, but I’ll love you forever and I will always treat you right. I want to marry you too Frankie. I want it more than anything. “
“You’re so sweet, Gee.”
“We’ll tell Mikey in the morning.”
“This is the best Christmas ever.”
“That it is,” Gerard agreed. They drifted to sleep in each other’s arms.