Categories > Original > Drama
I Was Alone
0 reviewsThey jeered, mocked, spat at me. I hated them, yet I couldn't push them away. I was alone, and falling.
0Unrated
Black. Darkness. Perhaps too dark. The shadows from hell surrounding me snickered and danced hideously around me, wishing me misfortune through silent messages that only I was, sadly, able to hear. Here I was, in the corner of my room with hands gripping the sides of my head. Alone.
You’re hopeless, you know that? A shadow sneered at me. Another continued for the first.
You’ll never live up to their expectations. You don’t even live up to your own expectations. You’re too arrogant, and a crybaby, too. Of course, if you look deep, deep down, you’ll realize you’ve always known that. The mocking tone rang through my ears as they threw fake pity towards me before starting a new wave of insults.
You don’t even have friends anymore. You’re always too busy failing. Cackles were echoing through my mind, each laugh sending a stab of ache through my heart.
I tried to breathe calmly. I told myself they were wrong; I had friends, I worked hard, I knew what success was. The voices playing with my mind laughed again. Liar, they hissed, clearly enjoying the moment. I was alone. That very thought made me squeeze my eyes shut.
Where was Zoe? My best friend? She was always there for me. Why did she leave when I needed her most? Honestly, though? I knew the answer.
She was too good for you, honey. Stop fretting over things that are way out of your league. She never left you, you ditched her first so you could be little Miss. (fake, by the way,) Perfect. One of the voices jeered. The sadists. That stab was emphasized, and sent a rush of salty tears threatening to cascade downwards into a waterfall. A waterfall of pain.
I only wanted to impress my parents, myself, impress everyone, make everyone proud, but the stress was far more than a weakling like me could handle. I took the depression pills, brought out the scissors to cut myself and let the pain fill in the gaps I’d formed in myself. I had fallen. No, I was falling. Every drop led to a new cliff edge.
Everybody left me. Are you sure? Another voice questioned followed with a chuckle. It was
right, too. It was me who left everyone. I was alone.
Sometimes, you should just accept the truth. Denying will only bring on more pain. You don’t want that, right? One of the voices whispered gently, almost kindly, then paused. I held my breath, my desperation already conjuring up the soothing words that I wanted to hear. On the other hand, the others and I would love that! Keep lying to yourself, we wish you a merry misfortune. It crowed happily, continuing. It joined in with a chorus of laughter started by the others. Why? I heard so much laughter yet none of them brought any happiness. The fantasy of consolation crumbled.
I became the psychopath who had mysterious unknown voices no else believed in coursing through my mind. Of course, I probably created the voices through my stages of madness and depression. However, in a way, I felt that they were the only ones guaranteed to stay with me and I liked that. Why? I was weak and was afraid of being alone. I’d still have some form of company while isolating myself from others, even if the voices were insulting my every thought and action. They’d haunt me, but I was fine with that. Or at least, I would survive, and I was tired of changing. I was scared. I tried changing before, and this is what I’ve become.
You’re hopeless, you know that? A shadow sneered at me. Another continued for the first.
You’ll never live up to their expectations. You don’t even live up to your own expectations. You’re too arrogant, and a crybaby, too. Of course, if you look deep, deep down, you’ll realize you’ve always known that. The mocking tone rang through my ears as they threw fake pity towards me before starting a new wave of insults.
You don’t even have friends anymore. You’re always too busy failing. Cackles were echoing through my mind, each laugh sending a stab of ache through my heart.
I tried to breathe calmly. I told myself they were wrong; I had friends, I worked hard, I knew what success was. The voices playing with my mind laughed again. Liar, they hissed, clearly enjoying the moment. I was alone. That very thought made me squeeze my eyes shut.
Where was Zoe? My best friend? She was always there for me. Why did she leave when I needed her most? Honestly, though? I knew the answer.
She was too good for you, honey. Stop fretting over things that are way out of your league. She never left you, you ditched her first so you could be little Miss. (fake, by the way,) Perfect. One of the voices jeered. The sadists. That stab was emphasized, and sent a rush of salty tears threatening to cascade downwards into a waterfall. A waterfall of pain.
I only wanted to impress my parents, myself, impress everyone, make everyone proud, but the stress was far more than a weakling like me could handle. I took the depression pills, brought out the scissors to cut myself and let the pain fill in the gaps I’d formed in myself. I had fallen. No, I was falling. Every drop led to a new cliff edge.
Everybody left me. Are you sure? Another voice questioned followed with a chuckle. It was
right, too. It was me who left everyone. I was alone.
Sometimes, you should just accept the truth. Denying will only bring on more pain. You don’t want that, right? One of the voices whispered gently, almost kindly, then paused. I held my breath, my desperation already conjuring up the soothing words that I wanted to hear. On the other hand, the others and I would love that! Keep lying to yourself, we wish you a merry misfortune. It crowed happily, continuing. It joined in with a chorus of laughter started by the others. Why? I heard so much laughter yet none of them brought any happiness. The fantasy of consolation crumbled.
I became the psychopath who had mysterious unknown voices no else believed in coursing through my mind. Of course, I probably created the voices through my stages of madness and depression. However, in a way, I felt that they were the only ones guaranteed to stay with me and I liked that. Why? I was weak and was afraid of being alone. I’d still have some form of company while isolating myself from others, even if the voices were insulting my every thought and action. They’d haunt me, but I was fine with that. Or at least, I would survive, and I was tired of changing. I was scared. I tried changing before, and this is what I’ve become.
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