The daylight that suddenly flooded the room blinded me slightly, but when my eyes adjusted I immediately felt my stomach drop.
"Oh I see how it is. Well, you forget, unlike you, I can see just fine in the dark," He mocked. I was then wrestled onto my back as I felt my pants unzip and a hand slip below my panty line. Aiming for what I hoped was a face I slapped the person on top of me as hard as I dared causing them to roll over and hit their head on the bed post. The bang was followed by a vulgar string of curses, then stillness.
I neither moved nor breathed. And made no motion toward my attacker until about a minute of silence passed. It was a total accident. I never meant to hit him that hard. We were only playing around. Slowly, I crawled over, the undone button on my pants click clacking with each move, and gently rolled over the man who had thrown my jacket half way across the dark bedroom. "That fucking hurt." he growled before springing on me. With a yelp I tried to get away, but he was much quicker in the dark than I was and my pants soon joined my jacket. Struggling to get him off my stomach my mouth was once more assaulted. He tasted of mint and Coke-A-Cola. We fought until we were both out of breath. There we were, panting, me in a t-shirt and underwear while he was still fully clothed. "You honestly have no idea how much that genuinely hurt." He rolled me over and smacked my ass as hard as he could before he jerked my body up so my back was flush with his front. His body was warm and he wasn't going to let go of me any time soon. Truthfully? I didn't want him to, but I struggled anyway. For a small guy Frank was still stronger than I was, and with one arm pinning me to his breathless form he used the other to pull my shirt up over my head. His moist lips scorched my ear lobe. "Unclasp your bra." he rasped. I didn't move until he throttled me. So there I was, exposed while he was still fully covered. Taking a fistful of my hair he yanked my head back and kissed me for all of England.
As he burned a line down my throat and onto my shoulder I stopped struggling. Breaking the kiss long enough for him to lift his shirt off and place it next to us I reached behind and undid the button on his jeans so I could slip my hand under the elastic of his boxers.
"Mother of God." he cried out.
I smiled wickedly and pulled away from him after a few moments causing him to whimper. Turning slowly to face him I reached up and gently pushed him onto his back, then I yanked his bottoms down and carelessly dropped them on the floor. Crawling up his body, I straddled his waist and bent down low until I was next to his ear lobe which I flicked with my tongue, causing him to shudder. "You haven't seen pain yet." I heard him suck in a breath through his teeth. I nipped his neck and sat back up, looking down my nose, admiring how the tables had turned. Had he really wanted, Frank could have easily overpowered me, but he didn't. Sliding down his body I ran my tongue over his chest, across his stomach and I stopped at the top of the black and white cotton just as the door swung open.
The daylight that suddenly flooded the room blinded me slightly, but when my eyes adjusted I immediately felt my stomach drop. Realizing my face was still in Frank's crotch I jumped away and tumbled off the bed. Naked. He stared at me as if he had never seen anything so...so...I don't know. His face went through a range of emotions before he finally had the decency to look at his feet. I reached up and took two fist fulls of the blanket before I pulled on it in a desperate attempt to cover myself, but I only succeeded in pulling Frank down on top of me. Things were going from bad to worse very quickly. Frank blocked me while I cowered behind him as he covered us with the comforter.
"Fucking great." Frank snarled. My eyes widened, enraged at Frank's lack of tact.
Apologetically, Gerard stuttered. "Bri said the door would be open. That I could come by to work on the Romeo and Juliet project with you, but it seems as if you already have it under control." Gerard's face was suddenly red and splotchy as he made a hasty exit.
"What a boner killer, Gerard." Frank wheezed, reaching for the inhaler on his nightstand.
"Oh that's a turn on, Gran'pa" I spat
"Shut up." he shot me an evil look
"Frank it was an accident. I forgot I'd invited him over here to work on the project. He didn't know we were about to fuck the shit out of one another." I snapped. "I didn't even know until we got here and you closed the blinds and fucking attacked me!" Things were beginning to escalate much further than they needed to.
Frank laughed nastily, "Oh! I attacked you? Really? So when we came in here and you told me you wanted me I was supposed to ignored your tongue on my tonsils? Yeah. I fucking attacked you."
He had a point. But he still. "You could have been nicer to him."
"Suddenly you care about Gerard's feelings? Come the fuck on. You've been wiping the floor with that kid since you met him."
"I have NOT!" I half shouted half nervously laughed. Had I really been so horrible to Gerard? Looking back now I know that I may have done exactly that, but I didn't know or mean it.
"You have TO. You don't even like him!" he playfully shoved me trying to calm things down.
"That's not true!" I screamed. Surprising myself and Frank. I DID like Gerard. More then I even realized at the time. "Stop being such a dick." I was slowly starting to discover that I actually cared about Gerard, but only as a friend. I mean...I had Frank...did I have Frank? "Wanna talk about misgivings? Your inhaler? Yeah, you DO realize that it is a MAJOR mood killer for you to have to stop every twenty fucking seconds to breathe out of it. Also, it's called a treadmill. GET ON ONE. I can't keep dealing with you complaining about something you do nothing about and-" I could have kicked myself. What was wrong with me?
Frank stared at me, eyes as big as a bush baby's."I can't help my asthma. Or the steroids." I immediately regretted saying what I said. I knew that both subjects were sore spots for Frank, and I'd NEVER in my life been so deliberately cruel or hurtful to someone. Ever. But something struck a chord within me and I felt the need to defend myself and Gerard.
His words were a vicious whisper, "You- ugh just get out."
"Leave." he looked like he was going to hit me. So I grabbed the nearest clothing items and put them on before rushing out the door.
"That was the nastiest, most unexpected over-reaction I'd ever heard in my life." jolting to a stop I fell over and was caught by a surprisingly strong individual who smelled like beer and cigarettes.
"Gerard just leave me alone." Yet I didn't find myself pulling away.
"Why'd you stick up for me so vehemently?"
I sighed and fought the urge to place my forehead on his shoulder. I had no idea anymore. "Because Frank's been getting on my nerves lately." That wasn't true.
He helped straighten me up, "Thanks. I think..."
"Don't thank me. I probably just ruined the only friendship that ever mattered to me."
Fuck. Shit. Balls. Damn. "No, ugh, God. No. Don't take it that way. Obviously our friendship means something. Obviously." Obviously. "It'll all be fine." Would it? "We just need time to cool off." and I stalked off with Gerard on my tail. When I got home and hid under my covers, I realized that I was wearing Frank's shirt, but it smelled just like Gerard.
I practically shoved my fist in my mouth to shut myself up after blurting out that I was sleeping with Frank. Everyone in the neighborhood went to Doctor Lancaster, and we lived in a small town. Her eyes widened, and her eyebrows were raised so far up into her hairline I was afraid she'd never get rid of the wrinkles.
"Oh, well, uhm. Wow. You'll want to be tested then."
I thought she would say something like cool it, or you need birth control. Not that I'd need an STD test. "But, he said he was a virgin." I whispered, naively.
"Honey child, no. Have you been using protection?"
"Then you're done for."
"Am I going to die?"
"I'll tell your mother." she said mechanically as she got up to leave.
The room began to swirl and I felt sick to my stomach, the bright colors of the Disney posters began to fade to black curtains, and the window shrank down to one little bright square the size of a shoebox. I smelled Stella Artois and Marlboros and knew immediately where I was before I saw the tall, slightly overweight figure staring into the mirror. I was still sitting spread eagle a cold examination table.
"Where did I put my lip liner?" Gerard asked when the room stopped spinning.
"What?" did he have an affinity for seeing me naked?
"Yeah, where is it?"
"You're wearing makeup now?"
"Hell yes I am, I'm tired of you being the pretty one." he said to me absentmindedly as he went digging through my purse, which was right next to my naked leg.
"Get out of there! Get out of this room!"
"Get over it. You're just jealous because I'm going to be the pretty one now"
"But I thought you loved me?" Wait. What was happening? Was this real?
"Please, Bri. Why would I care enough to do that? You slept with Frank."
"But you still waited for me at the door." His words hurt, and I started to cry. I wanted him to care. "But Gerard, I- I-the door and you were there." He was always there whether I wanted him or not, he was always there when I needed him.
I jerked awake, soaked with sweat and shielding my eyes from the street light coming in through my blinds. That was the last time I ate cannoli at midnight. I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. My mind was buzzing with thoughts of STDs and Gerard. Mostly thoughts of Gerard. And that worried me. Not to mention that in the scheme of things the dream was really stupid. But it still bothered me.
Around six, as I was sighing and groaning to the gods of sleep who had long since abandoned me, I heard a scratching at my window, but didn't care enough to see what kind of rodent was trying to get in, so I rolled over and finally fell asleep.
My backpack was clipped in front of my chest and the only sound around was that of my sneakers on the pavement. The trees were in full bloom as I raced past them. The pear trees were stunningly beautiful, but their smell was terrible. New Jersey and her decorative pears. Since that day I've been all around the world and the world is a breathtaking place, but nothing can compare to my home. My Jersey. There has never been and there never will be another Jersey. She is the best home I could have asked for, but I was going to be late regardless of how fast I ran, and with that realization I stopped to catch my breath before I straightened and began a defeated walk toward the corner.
"What are you running from, dear?" jumping I turned toward the old woman sitting on the porch. Elena sat, thin and frail and in all black rocking back and forth in a white rocking chair. She raised an eyebrow behind her lace face covering. "Running from something." it was said as a statement, not a question.
"Uhm, no. I'm late for school. I was running to try and make the bell." I said trying to walk away. She was scaring me.
"Come talk to me." she gently motioned for me to come sit near her. I was going to be so late I might as well not go at all. I'd never skipped school or done anything 'bad' before. But, I had already been accepted into Julliard and one day of missing school wouldn't do anything, so I took off my backpack and walked over to sit on the step below Grandma Elena. My breast began to ache. Looking down I saw that it had turned to black.
"You broke my grandson's heart."
"What?" she momentarily distracted me from my rotting lump.
"I hate you, my dear, but he doesn't." she then morphed into Cthulhu and ripped off my head with her tentacles.
My alarm buzzed and I awoke screaming. It was six thirty in the morning. I ripped off my shirt and stared at my bared breast. It was perfectly fine, not malformed or discolored. Panting, I put my shirt back on as I heard my mother open her door. She called out asking if I was alright, and I told her I wasn't going to school that day.