*SHORT FRERARD ONE SHOT* Gerard's P.O.V Suicide/Depressing
You never realized how much it pained me to see you leave. To just walk away from it all. That night everything stopped, I'm so sorry, but I know you'll never forgive me, why should you anyway? To see the tears in your eyes, to see my own brother ignore me, scoff at me, practically spit on me. To never see you again, it was like my insides were being ripped out and there was only an open hole in my chest. It's not your fault, it was mine. It was all mine. I'm a freak. A worthless freak. Everyone left me, I had no one in my life, just the dull blade of my old razor. No one loved me, why would they? But what pained me the most, and made me cry myself to sleep every single night, was the fact that you didn't love me. You were my rock, my savior, my best friend, my true love. But it all came crashing down that one idiotic, drunken night. I didn't even get to say goodbye. No one told me you were leaving for good, and I never even got to tell you how sorry I was. When I heard Mikey on the phone with you, I wish it was on speaker. I just wanted to hear the soothing sound of your voice. I would lean against the back of the door, listening to Mikey laugh and talk to you for hours on end. Just knowing I would never be able to talk to you, or even see you ever again killed me. It made me feel like there was nothing left, and there wasn't. There was nothing left, my own brother hated me, my parents hated me, my friends hated me, and most importantly you hated me. I had nothing left, no one left. And that's why I did it. Do you know how much it pained me to hear my brother knock on my door. To hear him start to yell and swear. To hear him bust the door open. To hear him gasp as he laid eyes upon my dying body. To see the pools on blood, and pills scattered around the floor. To see the tears fall down his face as he frantically dialed 9-1-1? No. You don't, and frankly, you never will. It was all for you, you know that right? I did it for you. You told me you never wanted to see, or hear from me ever again. You told me you'd never forgive me. So I did what everyone was waiting for me to do. I ended it all.
To hear the soft beep of the monitor beside me, to hear Mikey on the phone outside...to you. He was talking to you. I could hear the fear in his voice. I was barely alive. I was hanging on by a thread, and the one thought I had was why can't I just die already? Sad right? What about seeing only three people visit you? You don't feel loved, not at all. I was never meant to live, I was put on this planet to break your heart and for you to break mine. I was put on this planet to make people miserable, and god damn didn't I do a great job of that! And you never came. I would have at least hoped to see your face before I died. Face it, everyone knew I was going to die.
But the day came. When I heard a knock on the hospital door. When I moaned and you opened it. You stepped inside and closed it behind you. I looked up and the breath caught in my throat. My heart must have stopped for at least a few seconds. You stood there looking as perfect as ever. You were dressed in your old blue jeans with the holes in the knees. They were my favorites of all of your jeans. You were wearing you grey sweater, it was zipped up half way and I could see The Misfits t-shirt underneath. We used to always sit in my room, laying on my bed listening to The Misfits, and doing nothing. We would just lay there and do nothing, and it was...perfect. Oh, how I miss those days. The days when you actually cared about me. Your gorgeous black hair was framing your face perfectly. Your smudged eyeliner was covering your eyes, making your hazel eyes glow in the ugly hospital light. You walked over to me and sat on the bed. You didn't say anything, just sat there. You looked at me, and I saw the tear running down your cheek. You still didn't say anything you just slowly leaned closer to me, and softly pressed your warm lips against my cold ones, I used every ounce of energy I had to try and kiss back. You realized this and smiled against my lips. You slowly pulled away and stroked my pale cheek. The tears were flowing freely out of your eyes now, and they stung mine. You leaned in and whispered to me "I-I love you Gee" my breath hitched. I looked up at him and used every single ounce of energy I had left in my body to reply
"I love you too Frankie" You smiled at me, and as I tried to smiled back it happened. The monitor flat-lined and I died in your arms. The last thing I saw was your beautiful smiling face, and that brought joy to me. It was finally over. I died in your arms. And that's how I wanted it to be.
That was a train wreak! Ahah, just tell me what you think, it was my very first one shot, and I apologize for the shortness xoxoD
P.S I feel so bad for killing off Gee :'(