I've never been good at keeping secrets.
So what if that made me mean? I’d spent my whole life trying to fit in and I was done. I wasn’t fitting in here. I didn’t fit in at home. I didn’t fit in at my parent’s church. I didn’t fit in anywhere. I was done trying. What was the point?
So I took my first few steps in to my fifth high school, courtesy of my father’s job, with as much baggage as a luggage carrier at an airport.
I heard the cat calls and was surprised to see a few boys glancing at me, whistling as if that would make me magically want them. Had I gotten attractive in the last twelve hours? Last time I checked I was just the same old Taylor. I’d never even been on a date, or been kissed. I was a pretty lame almost 18 year old.
I awkwardly shuffled to the girl’s restroom, already needing a break from the crowd. It only took me a second to look in to the mirror and confirm that I was still the same plain looking me, and then I messed with my hair. It wasn’t like I really cared, well okay I kind of did… but I was more just looking for something to do that didn’t include going out to meet another student, or 500. I couldn’t even remember the student count at this school but I was sure it was ridiculous, seeing as how I was in another big city.
So it would probably be more like facing 2500 students. It sounded like enough people to drown in, and that’s probably what I would ungracefully do.
You see, I wasn’t very good at being social.
I acted like a bitch not just because I was a bitch, but also because I didn’t know how to be any other way.
I was afraid to let other people in, and so I put up some stupid person block.
Or so my psychologist said.
Yeah, my parents made me see a psychologist.
They spent a bunch of money just to have me sit in a room and barely talk to some person who was supposed to tell me how I should feel, as opposed to how I actually felt.
One of the many things I just loved hated about being a minor.
I jumped in surprise as the door opened and a guy stumbled in, nearly falling over.
“Um, I’m in the girls’ room, right?” I asked, before accusing him of being in the wrong bathroom. With my luck I’d be wrong, and actually would be a bitch.
“Shit.” He had a nice voice, and his face reddened in embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”
“No apology necessary. I could still be wrong. I’m new here.” I found myself falling over my words, because as cold as I pretended to be… I was really terribly shy, and he was quite attractive.
He didn’t look at me, instead facing the wall. It seemed kind of awkward but I didn’t say anything. “New? Well welcome!” He extended his hand, as if he were going to shake hands with the wall. “I’m Brendon!”
“Oh, I- I’m Taylor… and what are you doing?” I couldn’t help but ask. He was being quite odd.
Brendon grinned, turning completely.
I got a good look at his eyes.
They were grey, and murky. It was something I’d never seen before- but I didn’t have to guess more than once to figure out what was going on. He was blind.
“Well Taylor, I can’t quite see you- so help me out?” Brendon sounded playful.
I stepped forward, placing my hand against his.
“Hi.” He glanced over my head as I stared in to his eyes.
“Hi.” I responded quietly.
“Did I scare you?” Brendon asked, smiling kindly. “Sometimes my eyes scare people.”
That sounded horrible, like it would be something horrible to be told anyway.
“I’m not scared.”
Brendon’s smile widened, “Want me to introduce you to people then? It must be frustrating being new.” He sounded so casual suddenly, and I liked it. I liked how easily he started talking to me. I’d never had that happen before. Usually people awkwardly looked away, though I guess that wouldn’t really help him.
“Sure but… um, do you want me to look away while you use the restroom or something?” I didn’t really know how to word the question and the minute it came out I felt stupid.
Brendon laughed, “Actually, I was kind of thinking I’d use the men’s bathroom- to avoid an even more awkward introduction, for you.” He winked, catching me by surprise. “I’m not too shy, but you seem to be.” How? I didn’t even bother to ask.
As I followed him out of the bathroom I let my thoughts roam.
He was odd, but he was so gorgeous.
He had such a beautiful voice, and… I was a 17 year old girl, going on 18… I’d never been kissed.
I was developing a quick crush, as expected.
But come on, he was so hot!
I’d never before met a blind person.
That made him an outcast though, or so I’d assume…
Maybe I’d finally found someone that didn’t fit in, just like me.
Maybe I’d finally found someone who could like me back.
Yeah, and he’s blind.
My parents would get a kick out of that.
Still, I couldn’t help but smile a little as he walked in to the men’s restroom.
There might just be a story starting here…
The story of us.