Everything is going as planned. Harry and I have been successful to hide this relationship for about a week now. Well, not hide it but act normal and treat each other like colleagues. Eventually we'll have to say something. We can't hide forever.
And that's another thing. I can't hide forever. And I have to let go of my past. Gerard has probably found someone new over the years and I should do the same. Harry makes me happy and I make him happy. I'm going to just focus on us.
So today at the studio, everything was fine. He wasn't such a jerk. He treated me like another normal human being. But what I couldn't quite keep my mind off is Hailey and Harry. I observed her at times. She's a really good dancer. They do talk, if it's work related only. Because she asks questions and he helps her. How awkward must that be. How do the others feel? They seem pretty neutral about everything but what are they really thinking? My new friends; Carly, William, Shanelle, and Scott have told me about these rumors. Except William, he's new. They said that last year, Hailey had a main role with Harry. Everyone was okay with it but some people thought he helped her more than others. They even stayed after class to work on their piece. That's how the rumor of them having sex came up. One day, Sam(the Asian chick with black and blue hair) and Craig(a really tall guy with a fohawk) were walking down the hall. They passed the studio and heard loud and heavy panting along with moans. They couldn't see anything because the lights were turned off. They didn't know who it was at first. They wanted to catch them in the action but the door was locked. So they left and carried on with their lives. When they were about to leave, they saw Hailey and Harry coming out from the back door. And that's how Sam and Craig "figured out" who was in the studio.
That's a pretty weird story. Very imaginable and realistic. But even Harry said the story isn't real.
After the lesson, Carly, Scott, and William all invited me to go with them and get some drinks. I texted Harry where I was going and then left with them.
Coincidently, we went to the bar where My Chem had a gig. Great. I hope they're not here. We sat down at a table in the middle of the place while Carly ordered our drinks.
"so how old are you?" Scott asks me.
"27. You're really young you know that? For like, being in a professional ballet company."
"I guess so. I was admitted into it when I was 16."
"wow, you must be really good."
"you can say that." Carly comes back with our drinks and sits next to William.
"ugh what a day." she comments drinking her beer.
"how old are you Carly?" I ask.
"can you believe she was admitted in AV ballet when she was 16?" Scott interrupts.
"really? Wouldn't blame them. Edith, you're amazing. I went to one of your shows and it was breath taking."
"oh thank you."
"unfortunately, I've never been to one of your shows. But I have heard about you. I've seen you on YouTube." William speaks.
"oh really? Which one have you seen?"
"oh, that one is old. How was it?"
"it was really nice. I was surprised knowing you were just 16."
"well thank you. I didn't think I was known this much." I giggle.
"so how long have you been dancing Carly?"
"since I was 12. I also started with ballet but got bored of it and got into contemporary and jazz more."
"interesting. You William?"
"16 unfortunately. I never got into a high level of ballet but I didn't care 'cause I like contemporary and modern more."
"cool. How long have you guys been in the company."
"well you already know I've been in it for 8 years." Scott says.
"4 years." Carly answers and then we look at William.
"I'm new." we laugh at how awkward he said that. We continue to drink and talk when a band came in the room.
"who's that?" Carly says.
"Snake Pit." Scott answers, "they know how to rock." they go behind a curtain backstage with some groupies.
"someone's getting laid." William laughs and we join.
So we continue to talk as the bar starts to get full and soon we're cramped up in the middle.
I found out that Scott has his ex girlfriend's name tattooed in his ass. He got it while drunk and regrets it. Carly has been 4ft 11in since she was 16 and she hates it but every date she has, she says that they love her height because she's "fun sized". William isn't really into rock and likes hip hop more but he doesn't mind hanging out with us. We're all the complete opposite from him. We're rockers and metal heads and he's a rapper. But what we have in common is that we're all dancers and that's what counts. I guess..
The clock struck 4 o'clock in the afternoon and we were still in the place. I was suppose to be home at 3:30. I was having fun with these guys. They're so random and rude to each other. My type of people. I leaned back on my chair drinking my beer hearing Scott and William arm wrestle when I notice Geoff enter the room Shit. I choke on my drink and Carly looks at me.
"yeah just... Hide me!" I cover my face facing Carly but I was too late. Geoff had already spotted me.
"hey! Look who's here?" he says placing a hand on my shoulder.
"hey Geoff, what's up?"
"not much. And you guys are?" he points at my friends.
"oh these are my friends. That's Carly, Scott and William."
"nice to meet you guys!" he raises his hand saying hello to everyone.
"mind if I join?"
"yes! I mean uhh, let's sit over there better. I'll meet you over there."
"Kay, bye everyone!" he leaves and I turn to my friends.
"I'm sorry but I'm stuck with him now. He won't leave me alone and I don't want to bother you guys so I'll suffer by myself over there kay?"
"sure. We had fun Edith. See you at the studio." Carly responds.
"bye." I smile and leave. Geoff is already waiting for me with another drink at another table.
"hey." I say and sit.
"here. For you."
"thanks." I sip the beer. I hope he didn't put anything in it.
"here to see My Chem tonight?"
"they're here tonight?!"
"yeah! They'll be here in about an hour."
"damn, I won't be able to make it tonight."
"why not? You're here already."
"I know, but I have to be home."
"to your mommy?" he puckers his bottom lip.
"uhh yeah. I'm visiting my mom today."
"that's good. You just gotta love mothers." he drinks down half of his beer in one gulp.
"so, how long has My Chem been a band?"
"just recent. Not so long. But they're good huh?"
"yeah they are."
"by any chance, do you know the singer?" he asks me. I almost choke on my beer again.
"uhh no, I don't even know his name."
"Gerard?! You don't know Gerard's name!? Where have you been??"
"apparently not around." I giggle.
"all the girls are all over him all.the.time! I don't even know why. He's just a drunk who likes to sing."
"the girls like him?"
"yeah weird isn't it! He's Indenial though. For some reason he doesn't believe it. Do you like him?"
"whoo! Thats a first! Do you like me?" he leans in and his breath smells like cigarettes and beer.
"um, I barely know you."
"ahh, I'm just messing with you! Hey Freddie! Pass me another beer!" he yells across the room and out of no where, I see him catch a beer.
"no thanks. I'm full." he drinks his beer again like a thursty lion. We stay silent for a second. Then I get an idea.
"actually, I like someone from My Chem."
He spits, "who?!"
"uhh, I think his name is Frank. Do you know where he lives?"
"can't tell you that. He has a girlfriend."
"oh that's too bad. He's really cute." I hold a gag. Frank? Cute?! Pfft.
"now to think of it, I do think Gerard is cute. And you too." I get up and walk to Geoff.
"do you know where Gerard lives?"
"I don't know where that sissy lives and If I did, I wouldn't tell you. Pfft."
"oh please Geo, for me?" I grab his neck parting his legs with my knee and whisper in his ear.
"we can have a little fun with you and Gerard if you'd like."
"hmm, I dont know. I want you for myself." he grabs my waist and pulls me closer. I can feel his package with my knee.
"that sounds fun. But it would be funner with Gerard, know what I'm saying? We can go over to his house. Lock the door and you guys can undress me." I bite my lip trying to have the most seductive voice I've ever made.
"hmm baby. Fine, you just tell me when you want to do this okay?" I get off him and he takes a paper out. Writes a number and street address.
"you just call me when you want to okay baby girl? Mm, you're so fine." he gets up and pushes me against the wall.
"yeah I will. But I really have to go." I push him off me.
"but I'll call you Geo, don't worry." I wink.
"okay honey. I'll be waiting." he sits back down. I grab my bag and leave the place.
As I walk down the street and wait to get a taxi, I think to myself... What the fuck did you just do?! Why are you looking for Gerard?! Stop it! You have Harry!
I punch my leg. Edith are you fucking stupid?! Now Geoff thinks you're into him! I crumble the paper and throw it in my bag out of sight. But I don't throw it in the trash.. Just for in case...
I dont know what got into that bitch or what the fuck I did but damn! She has me jizzing all over my pants. She's so fine and I want her to ride me like a hungry hippo! Mm, just imagine what she can do with that juicy mouth of hers. Ooh fuck!!!
I drink my beer and watch everyone chat and mingle when I notice My Chemical Romance walk through the door.
"oh hey Gerard!" I call. He finds me through the crowd and walks over to me.
"hey what's up man?"
"are you drunk yet?"
"nah, a little stoned. What's up?"
"dude, you would not believe! Remember that girl I was making a move on?"
he widens his eyes, "yeah."
"well I dont know what the fuck happened but she wants to fuck me dude! She wants the dick!"
"how do you know?!"
"she was just here! And guess what else?! You're getting laid man! LAID! She wants your dick too!"
"Geoff, you're taking It too far."
"I'm serious! She asked for you. She said she thought you were hot and now, she wants to fuck both of us at the same time! Look, these were her exact words: 'we can go to his house, lock the door and you guys can undress me.'"
"stop fucking with me."
"I'm serious dude. She told me she wants to meet up at your house. She's just going to call."
"alright fine. I can't wait." he walks away.
"alright man. We're getting laid were getting laid!"
Geoff is nuts. First of all, no one likes me. Second, Geoff is a liar and third, Edith is no slut! I have to find Frank and tell him. I make my way backstage and find him making out with Emma.
"Frank can I talk to you?"
"sure. I'll see you later babe." he kisses her and he follows me to the restroom.
"Geoff just told me Edith wants to fuck him." Frank looks surprised and nauseous. He swallows and blinks.
"really? Well good for him." he starts to walk away.
"you don't get it. She asked for me." he quickly turns around.
"what did she say?"
"she asked for me because she said I was cute and she wants to have a threesome with Geoff and me."
"first, Edith is no slut. Second, that's not you're Edith."
"you're not for sure. But I might be starting to believe you. Edith is no slut."
"you see? Stop getting your hopes up okay?"
"you might be right.."
"I AM right okay? Now don't listen to Geoff. He's full of shit."
"okay." we walk out of the restroom. Geoff is backstage and when he looks at me, He licks his finger and cups his package making thrust movements.
"you won't be saying that when she's riding your dick man." I role my eyes. You've got to believe Frank, Gerard. Edith is no slut. Plus, Edith is in Canada!
I have been home alone for hours now. Annie is probably at her job and Harry doesn't pick up. I wonder what he's doing. I lay in my room and hug my teddy bear. I miss Harry dearly. I get off my bed and enter my balcony and look up at the night sky. It's this time of year where I feel that sharp pain in my heart again. It's going to be 8 years since I performed Swan Lake very soon. I dont know why I still keep count. It's no use. I don't see why I should. It's the past. Don't hold on forever. It holds you back from seeing a bright future. I sigh and go back to bed. Maybe Harry is for the better, just like Linda said. I roll over on my side and face my night stand. I have a picture of Gerard and I there. The day of my Swan Lake performance. Before he dumped me. I was wearing that beautiful gown that his mom gave me. He was wearing his best tux and he held me by my waist and kissed my cheek while my mom took the picture. I was so happy that day.
Out of the blue, I get up and completely lose control of my feelings. I go in my closet and search through my treasure box where I stored a teddy bear Gerard gave me. I hug it close to my chest and cry.
I'm very stupid. I don't know what I want. I want to be happy--With Harry. But Gerard is holding me back. I can't let go. I can't! And I want to! I get off the ground. I put on my jacket and head out with my bag.
Before I know it, I'm in a taxi and giving that piece of paper to the taxi guy. I instantly regret it, but I'm not going to waste this guy's time. He's taking his time to take me here and I'm not wasting money for nothing.
He stops earlier than I thought. We're still in New York.
"are you sure this is the place?" I ask him.
"That is what's written on here." he hands me the paper back. It is the address.
"thank you sir." I get out of the car and hand him his money. He drives away as I step on the sidewalk. It's lonely out here and I'm standing in front of a plain building. It's not old but it isn't new. It's shaded grey. There's trash everywhere and it's located near where all the bars and restaurants are. There's lights everywhere. I lean on a car and look up at the building then at the sky. It's cloudy. It's going to start raining soon. I check my watch. A little past 11. A car pulls up and it's a car full of guys. It's not My Chem though. I don't recognize any of them. A girl gets out with a guy and he has his arm around her shoulders. They look pretty drunk. They enter the building and leave the door open. I walk towards the door and grab it. But then close it. I don't want to encounter something I don't want to see. What if he's home right now? I don't want to see him just yet.
So I walk back home. I wouldn't have called a taxi if I would have known it's close by. I don't mind walking. It's late and dangerous but, I'm dangerous myself. I've gotten into deep trouble only God knows of. So I walk home when It starts sprinkling.
When I arrive home, I'm soaking wet. I'm shivering when I enter my house and I'm instantly wrapped in the warmth of my house. No one is home again so I settle down on my bed without changing and fall asleep, with Gerard's teddy bear in hand.