Categories > TV > Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Oedipus Rex

by alexanderdumas123 0 reviews

In Cleavland Xander show what he really feels for Robin, causing the other people in the houses to revise their opinion of certin people.

Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Xander - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2012-09-20 - Updated: 2012-09-21 - 2080 words - Complete

1Funny
Rupert Giles was sitting in the office he had snagged for himself as soon as Willow had gotten out of the Watchers fund by her rather less then legal means. Xander had teased Willow about how seven years ago she would have been able to "acquire" the funds in the time they had between school getting out and they started to go slaying, back in the 'dale. Willow had looked rather ashamed at Xander's gentle teasing, while Buffy, Dawn and Faith looked like they might want to join in. All of that never happened due to Kennedy, who never understood Xander's friendship with Willow, or Buffy, Dawn and Faith (Giles wasn't sure if that was because Kennedy was one of those lesbians who hate men, she was afraid of Willow's and Xander's close friendship, thought that because Willow had dated a male in the past meant that she and Willow weren't for the long hall because Willow was what he believed the youngster called "bi" which meant to Kennedy that Willow was likely to stray). The part about Kennedy's fears of Willow's sexual orientation he got from overhearing a discussing between the Summer's sisters about how much of a bitch Kennedy was and how she was trying to take the friend/surrogate sister away from them. Giles as a matter of principle due to knowing the Scoobies for so long tried his best to stay out of such discussion with limited success.

Unfortunately it would appear that he would be dragged into this one by the increase in volume coming towards the door of his office. Sighing Giles braced himself for what ever seem to need his attention. Unfortunately of fortunately depending on however you look at it the people storming through his door were people that he loved as though they were his own children, which made the fact that they where fighting all the more difficult.

Buffy, Willow and Dawn came though his door without as much as a by your leave. From his perspective it would appear that Willow and Dawn where at odds with each other and Buffy were trying to be the peacemaker. Buffy efforts seemed for not, as just as he had come around his desk, as to not give such an opportune target to three anger girls. Vaguely he wondered where the usual male member of the aforementioned group was, given that the person in question was much better at getting any of the girls to calm down not to mention all three of them at once. Opening his mouth to ask such a question he was quickly cut off by one of the interlopers.

"She is not a Bitch!" Willow screamed at Dawn. Giles was momentarily stunned by Willow language. Looking around his office he saw somewhat of a "Mexican standoff" he believed the term to be. Albeit a reluctant one, given that the other party seem to be trying to stay out of the main conflict while reluctantly trying to get the combatant to be quiet as so no one else comes into to his now less than serene sanctum.

Feeling that if he lets them continue in the fashion that they are going now would cause irremediable damage, at least to the books in his office. Strengthening his resolve Giles decided to deal with this in the quickest and most forthright manner possible. He shouted.

"What the bloody hell is going on that the three of you are causing such a ruckus?" Giles bellowed.

Rather than calming any of them down his exultation only caused Dawn to switch her attention from Willow to him. With thankfully significantly lesser volume Dawn said, "oh, Willow and I are having a disagreement about how her lover treats her best friend since kindergarten, Willow feels that considering all of the stress that comes from being a lesbian on top of being the slayer that we should all be down and kiss Kennedy ass, any time she comes in the room, regardless of the fact that she treats all of the non-slayer humans as second class citizens."

Shooting a quick look over at Buffy he saw her node before Dawn started speaking again, "also Willow disagrees with my and Xander's opinion that giving that of the women that we know of the Wood's gone after are both Slayers not to mention nearly ten years younger than him the good principal might have a oedipal complex on top of his slight cradle robbing tendencies."

Dawn's statement causes Buffy and Giles to be struck silent albeit for different reason. Giles, much like Willow thinks that Robin Wood is the closest thing to what he could hope any of the Slayer children if they did/do have kid would be like. Xander and Dawn on the other hand find it mildly worrisome at the means that brought Robin about mainly the fact that Robin's mother had a physical relationship with his slayer, his charge so to speak. This may have something to do with the way they have interacted with Giles as their primary example of, to them, what a watcher is supposed to act like. Ignoring the fact that Giles got kicked out of the Watchers Council for his feelings for his charge and her friend, not to mention letting Buffy have friends in the first place and to waste his attention be letting them patrol with her as well a train them as well when in the Council's mind all of his attention should have been focused of bringing Buffy to heal.

Buffy was instantly sickened by what Dawn pointed out about Wood's actions as soon as he had rolled into Sunnydale and they learned about him. Thinking back on her dinner with him now with Dawnie's point of view interpreted she felt sickened that she let's Wood train the Slayerettes much less just be around them. While she understands both Giles feelings about Wood that she doesn't understand Willow anymore something that saddens her greatly. That Willow would date someone who has such a low opinion of her friends to the point that trying to have a polite conversation on any random topic with the girl made battling and seven foot demon a day at the beach, forget trying to have a calm conversation about slaying. Buffy understood that she lost a lot of points with the slightly military baring she took when her house in Sunnydale was the nexus point in the slayer world, but really you go from it being just you and your sister, you best female friend and her lover to, what felt like pretty much every living good guy in the 'dale living under one roof with only two paychecks to feed all of them, having to train up a bunch of young somewhat disillusioned girls in the ways of slaying and little to no privacy and see how you fell about it.

Deciding to try to get Willow away for a friendship repairing conversation as soon as this latest in house crisis is over she tuned back into the debate that Willow and Dawn was having.

Drawing breath for more screaming, both Buffy and Giles where pleasantly surprised to hear piano music coming from the sitting room, according to Giles. When the foursome, of between two of them a tentative peace seemed to be draw, made their way into the aforementioned room Giles was surprised to hear slightly ragtime style music coming from ahead of them. His nervousness reappeared when Dawn gave out a large groan.

"What wrong?" Giles asked nervously. Dawn looked up at Giles with a worried look on her face.

"Xander said that if Wood didn't stop with his I'm the son of a Slayer so my word is gold; all should bow and kiss my ass attitude he would show what he really thought of him." Dawn replied. Giles was about to asked what she meant by that when they heard from inside the room cries of "again, again." Upon stepping in the sitting room they were supprised to see Xander sitting at the piano in the back corner of the room with a number of slayerettes around him.

With a big smile the one-eye carpenter said, "as always I'd like to dedicate this next performance to Robin Wood as this demonstrates my true feelings for him.

Among Buffy and Willow's grumbles about talking to Xander about the way he deals with conflict the same sprightly tune that Giles could hear as he and his group was walking towards the drawing room coming from the piano. Then Xander opened his mouth and started to sing.

From the Bible to the popular song,
There's one theme that we find right along.
Of all ideals they hail as good,
The most sublime is motherhood.

There was a man, oh, who it seems,
Once carried this ideal to extremes.
He loved his mother and she loved him,
And yet his story is rather grim.

There once lived a man named Oedipus Rex.
You may have heard about his odd complex.
His name appears in Freud's index
'cause he loved his mother.

His rivals used to say quite a bit,
That as a monarch he was most unfit.
But still in all they had to admit
That he loved his mother.

Yes he loved his mother like no other.
His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother.
One thing on which you can depend is,
He sure knew who a boy's best friend is!

When he found what he had done,
He tore his eyes out one by one.
A tragic end to a loyal son
Who loved his mother.

So be sweet and kind to mother,
Now and then have a chat.
Buy her candy or some flowers or a brand new hat.
But maybe you had better let it go at that!

Or you may find yourself with a quite complex,
And you may end up like Oedipus.
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus,
Than end up like old Oedipus Rex.

Looking to his side Giles saw differing reactions to his "son's" song. Dawn looked as though she was trying her best not to laugh. Buffy look like she would puke right after she went and killed someone, whereas Willow looked like she was about to lecture Xander within an inch of his life. Having this time to compose himself Giles was surprised to discover that he, to much more of an extent then he would have thought back in Sunnydale, agreed with Xander's appraisal of Wood's behavior excepting demon fight around his charges.

Looking around Xander seemed surprised at how much an audience he had gained. Starting to move when he saw Robin heading for Xander, if for no other reason than to inform the other man that he would like to have a conversation with him once temper were less raw the librarian was startled to find that he was late to get to Robin due to the fact that a furious Faith now had him up against a bookcase and was screaming at him.

"Is what X said true!" The curvaceous dark haired slayer screamed in the principals face, "Am I just some sort of sick replacement for your mommy issue?"

Giles as well as a number of people were shocked and disheartened at the truth in Robin's face at Faith accusation. He could faintly hear Buffy's "Ew" as he made his way over to where Faith was holding Robin up against the bookcase.

"Faith", Giles said in his most calm tone of voice, "perhaps this would be something you would like to leave to someone else to deal with."

For a moment Giles thought he didn't get through to her, that the Dark Slayer the one that for everyone else's safety they sent away to jail had made an impenetrable appearance. To his great relief Faith calmed down and slowly let go of Robin where he clasped rather ungracefully in Giles opinion. Walking towards the door Faith said in a soft voice quiet unlike her, "X" Just that one letter in the tone she said it had Xander come forward from beside the piano where he was standing and following the dark slayer out of the room.

Looking around at the stupefied expressing on mostly everyone else in the room Giles turned round to deal with the situation that he had overlook in the chaos of a few months ago.
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