"I...I love you too much." --Ryden Oneshot--
Brendon frowned at the older boy he was straddling. He watched intently as Ryan chewed his bottom lip and stared back at him guiltily.
"No I'm not!" the younger boy shot back with a small pout. "I really love you. I swear it's the truth!"
Why was it so hard for Ryan to understand? Brendon loved that boy with all of his heart and yet his words weren't enough. He had to prove his love by some other means. He just had to.
Brendon leaned down and pressed his lips against Ryan's softly. He didn't get all sloppy with the kiss, he kept it slow and gentle - the way it should be for his favorite boy. They parted after a moment and Brendon placed his forehead against Ryan's with a silly grin on his face.
"You don't really mean it," Ryan whispered and folded his arms over his chest.
The younger boy's face fell. That wasn't supposed to happen. Not at all.
"Please believe me." His sweet breath was warm on Ryan's lips and tickled his nose.
"I'm sorry. I just... I... can't."
"W-why not?" Brendon was on the verge of tears. He gripped the grass on both sides off Ryan's head with shaking hands before releasing it slowly.
"Oh, please don't cry. Bren, I love you, no need to cry."
"I believe you when you say that. Why can't you believe me?" Brendon's big eyes blinked down at Ryan in disappointment.
"You're too good for me, babe. There's definitely some else out there who's more worthy of you. Don't waste your time on me." Ryan lifted his hand and gingerly wiped the tears from the younger boy's eyes.
"But no one can make me as happy as you," Brendon protested quietly.
"How can you say that? You're crying because of me."
"But- you... I..." Brendon trailed off as he noticed something on Ryan's arm. He shifted all his weight onto his knees and used his hands to tenderly take hold of Ryan's wrist. The older boy winced at the touch and turned his head away. Angry red scars littered the pale skin, a few fresher than the others.
Ryan felt a few wet drops land on his face and he knew the damage he had done. He turned his head back to face the puffy-eyed boy above him.
"Aw fuck, Bren. I'm sorry, I..."
"Why?" Brendon asked almost silently.
"Why, Ryan?" He asked again in a firmer tone.
"I... I love you too much," the older boy replied simply.
Brendon brought Ryan's arm to his lips and kissed the freshest scar. He then continued to place delicate kisses on each scar he could find.
"Brendon, what are you-"
The older boy was silenced by his own finger being pressed against his lips by Brendon.
"I love every little thing about you," the younger boy stated as if it made the most sense in the entire world, "because I love you too much, whether you believe me or not."
Ryan smiled a little at that. Maybe he was wrong after all. Maybe he did believe Brendon. Maybe he really could be loved.