PHAN. In which Phil decides he wants to visit Japan and Dan is cute.
“I want to go to Japan.” I mumble, looking up at the ceiling above my bed and wishing that I could look through it out into the stars of the night sky.
“So’s your mum.”
“Oh ha-flipping-ha.” I turn to the boy lying next to me, propping myself up on my elbows so that I tower above him, demanding his attention. “Okay, Phil. You want to go to Japan.”
I let myself flop back down next to him, relishing the feeling of him burrowing into my side as I try to intensify my stare to a degree where I might just be able to look through the ceiling.
I’ve always wanted to fly through space, kind of like Nyan Cat but without the rainbows, just seeing everything that nobody else before me has ever seen. If I could fly through space I would bring Dan back a star, the kind of present that he really does deserve. Or maybe he doesn’t deserve it; maybe I just want to give him something as incredible as a star because that’s how much I love him.
Of course I know I wouldn’t really be able to touch a star, but it’s kind of a metaphor. A cheesy, clichéd metaphor that goes nowhere close enough to covering how much I love Dan. And I know he loves me just as much back, even if he never shares any of his Maltesers with me.
“I do! If I could go to one place in the world right now, I’d go to Japan.” Without so much of a second’s warning, I tackle him into a huggle, winding up so that I’m on top of him with my arms clasped around his skinny body like a padlocked chain. My lips press lightly onto his, making him fasten his arms around my neck, and then I pull away, lying next to him but still with an arm wrapped somewhat possessively around his bony shoulders; all mine. “I’d take you with me. To Japan.”
“Of course you bloody would.” He smirks, that adorable little twitch of the lips that made me fall in love with him in the first place. “You without me would be like Sonic without Tails.”
“Apart from Sonic doesn’t do bad, unspeakable things to Tails.”
“How do you know?” He giggles as I shudder, rolling his eyes dramatically as I make gagging sounds. Of course I know I’m overreacting, but if I wasn’t then Dan wouldn’t be giggling like this; like he’ll never be sad again. “Seriously though, why Japan?”
I pause to think. I hadn’t been expecting my little bout of thinking-out-loud to actually start a proper conversation, but now that it has I want to keep it going; I like talking to Dan. Sure, I could talk to him anyway and about anything, but talking about wants and dreams with Dan is always the best.
He always makes me believe that they can happen, just like I do with him.
When he dropped out, for example. He told me about all the things he wanted to do with his life, all the things he thinks he’ll never get to do and all the things he hopes to never be made to carry out. One of his big wants was to become an actor, so I told him he could do it. No matter what anyone else said, he could do it if that’s what he wants. I kept on telling him it over and over, in a million different ways, until he eventually believed it.
We might not be the most serious of people, but if there’s one thing we do take seriously it’s dreams. Each other’s dreams in particular.
“Because it’s somewhere different.” I reply, locking our eyes to give him a better insight into my thoughts. “Like, really, really different. And all of the best videogames come from Japan.”
He nods, nestling into me that little bit more. I love it when he’s like this, all cuddly and cute and mine. It’s part of the reason why we work so well together; I adore giving affection and he thrives off of receiving it. We’re like that in a lot of ways, like I never swear and he swears all the time. We balance each other out, like two puzzle pieces put together to make a perfect picture.
“True.” He yawns, mouth stretching impossibly wide and reminding me of a lion in the way he exaggerates it to show all of his teeth. “Tell me more about why you want to go.”
“Because they have Pikas.” I say matter-of-factly, feeling more than a little bit smug when Dan’s facial expression makes it clear he has absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. “Pikas are these really cute little mouse things. They remind me of Pikachu, I think they based Pikachu off of them. They’re super cute!”
Dan’s intrigued expression gives way to a fond beam, eyes glowing with something that I easily recognise to be love. He lets out another yawn, alerting me to the fact that it is indeed rather late, so I pull the covers up around us and make him fully lie down. Knowing Dan he’d happily stay up all night talking with me if he thought that’s what I wanted, stay awake way past the point of exhaustion. Just like I would do for him. I guess that’s the beauty of your boyfriend also being your best friend.
The yawn alerts me to another thing; Dan’s ridiculously high levels of cuteness.
“Not as cute as you, though. The Pikas, I mean.” I wipe a strand of runaway hair out of Dan’s face, savouring the way it feels all silky even though it’s probably been straightened more than is healthy for it. “And I think you’d like Japan.”
“Yeah?” His voice is full of sleep and his eyes are shut, a hand curling around the hem of my t-shirt like it does every night when he’s about to fall asleep; I think he sees me as his own personal teddy bear.
Not that I mind; quite the opposite.
“Yeah. I wouldn’t want to go there if I thought you wouldn’t like it.” When I look back to him, he’s snoring softly, and there is nothing I can do to stop myself from kissing his nose. “I want to go to Japan and see the Pikas and go on some crazy super-amazing adventure with you. But we’ll come home though; we won’t be away for long. Just long enough for it to feel nice when we get home.”
I lean over him and turn the bedside lamp off, snuggling down myself when I see Dan smiling softly in his sleep. I always do this, talk to him until he starts smiling in his sleep. It makes me feel useful. Like I matter because I matter to Dan.
“We’ll do it, Phil. We’ll go see the Pikas in Japan together.” He mutters, making me jump a little in surprise. “I’ll make it happen.”
And I know he will, just like I would for him.
A/N: Yes, yet another Phan. I think I’ll probably throw out another one today (most likely a drabble or a short ficlet to the word ‘Kitten’). This is part of my little Alphabet Challenge thing. Thanks for reading, I hope you like this and please let me know what you think! :)